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  1. #1

    Default Fragrance Forecasts

    Ever wonder if TV newscasts did fragrance forecasts to accompany their weather forecasts? Here you go! (Note: this is to be taken as parody, although the anchors mentioned are real Chicago TV anchors, albeit for the city's last-place newscast, and the areas are real.)

    START (to the tune of boring Frank Gari/615 Music/Stephen Arnold-produced news music): Now, the news on CBS 2 with Diann Burns...

    (15 minutes later after weather)

    DIANN BURNS: Antonio Mora is standing by at CBS 2 Fragrance Control. What's the scoop, Antonio?

    ANTONIO MORA: Well, it seems like Michigan Avenue is clogged with Clinique Happy for both men and women, although there is a Flowerbomb spill near Saks Fifth Avenue. Meanwhile, in Schaumburg at Woodfield Mall, get ready for some high doses of Acqua di Gio, which, by the way, Diann, is one of my two favorites. That and Creed's Silver Mountain Water, which is lightly sprinkling Northbrook Court near the Neiman Marcus store.

    DIANN: Sounds like you've got good taste, Antonio!

    ANTONIO: Over in Skokie at Old Orchard, be prepared for an Angel triple-whammy near Nordstrom, Marshall Field's, and Bloomingdale's.

    DIANN: Guess I won't be shopping at Old Orchard today!

    ANTONIO: Moving on over to Northwest Indiana, there's both a White Diamonds Alert and a Drakkar Noir Warning near Southlake Mall in Merrillville. Stay clear from that spot at all costs.

    DIANN: That's even worse!

    ANTONIO: Finally, over at Six Flags Great America, I smell body odor...I mean Kingdom...or is that body odor? Anyway, I'm confused.

    DIANN: You shouldn't be, but I'm sure glad there's not smell-o-vision! Still to come on CBS 2...

    (COMMERCIAL BREAK) This portion of CBS 2 News is sponsored by Eternity and Eternity for Men by Calvin Klein.

    Anyway, feel free to post some other "fragrance forecasts" with some of the malls and TV anchors/stations in your area.
    Top 5 for Fall:
    1) Straight to Heaven - By Kilian
    2) New York - Nicolai
    3) Terre d'Hermes
    4) Aventus - Creed
    5)
    Flower of Immortality - By Kilian
    My mission statement: "I am not afraid to keep on living - I am not afraid to walk this world alone."

  2. #2

    CologneJunkie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Fragrance Forecasts

    This is cute
    "Wait...is David Bowie really God?" - Penelope Garcia

  3. #3

    Default Re: Fragrance Forecasts

    HAZMAT teams are standing by with gas masks at the intersection of hwy. I-4 and Princeton blvd.
    Seems that there's been a JOOP! spill on the highway and people are running for their lives. More details at 10.

    Also, local police and animal control officers yesterday investigated a nearby home. Neighbors reported a strong smell of farm animals emanating from inside the home. Turns out that the home's resident oversprayed L'Artisan's DZING!. He was served with summons to appear in court but no further action was nessesary.


    Ok, i know this isn't a fragrance forecast. Is fragrance news close enough?
    Are you not entertained??? Is this not why you are here??

  4. #4

    Default Re: Fragrance Forecasts

    Quote Originally Posted by knightowl
    HAZMAT teams are standing by with gas masks at the intersection of hwy. I-4 and Princeton blvd.
    Ok, i know this isn't a fragrance forecast. Is fragrance news close enough?
    Yup, you can post news, too.
    Top 5 for Fall:
    1) Straight to Heaven - By Kilian
    2) New York - Nicolai
    3) Terre d'Hermes
    4) Aventus - Creed
    5)
    Flower of Immortality - By Kilian
    My mission statement: "I am not afraid to keep on living - I am not afraid to walk this world alone."

  5. #5

    CologneJunkie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Overland Park/Lawrence, KS
    Posts
    4,789
    Blog Entries
    1

    Default Re: Fragrance Forecasts

    Next on the news at 6, research shows that Clinique Happy can cure scurvy. Stay tuned.
    "Wait...is David Bowie really God?" - Penelope Garcia

  6. #6

    Default Re: Fragrance Forecasts

    This is so funny

  7. #7

    Default Re: Fragrance Forecasts

    LOL!

  8. #8

    Default Re: Fragrance Forecasts

    I do believe that I 75 has been shut down many times by Joop spills and Bijan Pour Homme spills.
    Gary

  9. #9

    Default Re: Fragrance Forecasts

    It looks like pure rain today so you might want to wrap up with your green irish tweed until the farenheit raises to a steady later in the week. Due to ou region's altitude the barrometric pressure has fallen during the course of this storm front. In other new, someone was caught wearing joop and was slapped senslessly. Today, McDonald's contracted YSL for kouros urinial cakes encouraging patrons to piss at home so employs will not have to clean the toiletries. More at 10..........

  10. #10

    Default Re: Fragrance Forecasts

    Quote Originally Posted by ikkitosennomusha
    Today, McDonald's contracted YSL for kouros urinial cakes encouraging patrons to piss at home so employs will not have to clean the toiletries. More at 10..........
    HAHAHA!

    In other words: "I'm Leavin' It".
    Top 5 for Fall:
    1) Straight to Heaven - By Kilian
    2) New York - Nicolai
    3) Terre d'Hermes
    4) Aventus - Creed
    5)
    Flower of Immortality - By Kilian
    My mission statement: "I am not afraid to keep on living - I am not afraid to walk this world alone."

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