deleted by pluran
After buying more that 40 scents during the last 2-3 weeks just to put them in the drawer with the other 500, I have to admit that I do not longer care.
I really have no idea why I buy, buy, buy - maybe it is just a desperate hope trying to find a scent that will wake me up again or maybe it is just a strange desire to own all the scents that is available for me.........I don't know!
I really do not care how they smell - I just buy them!
I think there are far too many scents out there these days and they are all more or less without power of any kind for me. I am so tired of all these new releases which is forgotten after a week. And all those Hugo Boss'es - what the f*ck are they doing - a new - and similar to the latest - release each month???? It is just too much.........EEEEEEENOUGH!!!!!!!!!!!
I even don't wear scents anymore..................is there any hope for me?
Or maybe it is a good thing happening for me!!
Sorry to ruin the good spirit around here - don't mind me.........I just needed a breath of fresh air.
deleted by pluran
Last edited by pluran; 14th July 2006 at 03:42 AM.
Have you ever heard of the type of people they call 'maximizers'? It's when you have no fulfilment or satisfaction even though you keep on buying/trying to get better/upgrade. I think the best thing would be to just leave all our fragrances to rest and see what happens in the next couple of months. You might all of a sudden get your interest back and appreciate the things you bought. Try to only stick to the stuff you really consider beautiful scents, and forget about the shitty ones.
Either way, probably good for both your state of mind and wallet to refrain from purchasing right now. All the best!
"Perfume is the dream that carries me."
There is always the sky to look at
Just take a rest and forget about fragrances for a while. Your interest in perfumes will come back eventually, little by little.
500 scents can easily saturate anyone, I believe.
« L'odeur de rose, faible, grâce au vent léger d'été qui passe, se mêle aux parfums qu'elle a mis.»
[ Paul Verlaine ]
Maybe you just hit a point that you are tired of always concentrating on smelling good or figuring out what smells like what and the notes in it are...
Those things can get annoying. Take a break. Come back if you feel like it, when you feel like it. If not then you have moved on I guess. I hope to see you back though. Your posts are much appreciated. Whenever you are ready...
EnvYuS My Wardrobe
An Ocean, suddenly devoid of current, hasn't lost a thing except a diverting opportunity to become carried away with itself.
Waves rise where they will; Who knows which shores will feel the crashing power next.
I have a feeling that anybody who has more frags than there are days in a month have a little problem. It goes beyond just interest in frags. I think its an addiction to shopping. I know about this because I have had times in my life where I definitley shopped to pacify my sense emptyness or lonelines or whatever. There are several good books on the subject:
I Shop Therefore I Am : Compulsive Buying & the Search for Self
by April Lane Benson
Consuming Passions: Help for Compulsive Shoppers
Back on Basenotes after about a 6 year absence. Need to time to re-adjust
I usually make it a point to post my thoughts on new scents I've bought - have you posted something on each scent you bought?
Then it's interesting replying to posts, either here of at the starting out section. I make it a point to often spray some of each of the scents being discussed on my hands or wrists, rather just than rely on memory. The number of times I've been surprised at other peoples' insights have been many e.g. Person X says scent Y is a bit like scent Z. I think "He's nuts - no way". I spray both on and think "Yes he wouldn't have a clue, just as I thought, ......... sniff some more ........... umm... maybe he has a point after all."
Anyhow, that keeps me amused.
It's better not to get yourself down over this. Instead try thinking something along the lines of "well, it's just a hobby, people tire of hobbies all the time, if they're any good they'll eventually go back to them, albeit perhaps less intensely. It might be a good time to look back at some of my old hobbies that I've been neglecting".
P.S. I tried the new Hugo Boss today and thought it was pretty interesting, I was wondering why so many have been trashing it of late
I hear ya man and appreciate your honest thoughts! Self awareness is key to life. No doubt, take a break and tend to your health - how about a little exercise or get into a new book or community service work - anything to get out of your head?
While I too love fragrances and have gone a bit nuts with some purchases -- they ultimately don't make me happy. Happiness comes from within and when I work on the real things in my life like family, being a dad, a good friend, my spiritual life - I get happy. Don't beat yourself up too much -- progress not perfection shoud be the goal
All the best!
Thank you for your posts!
I remember when I was a young boy getting Chanel Pour Monsieur as a Christmas gift. It was so awesome to smell it again years later. Thats what took me into a buying frenzy of other fragrances. But anyways my point is: do you have a 'first love' - rekindle that flame!
Otherwise remind yourself that fragrances are just a small bonus in life - other things are like health family etc. are the main things.
My sentiments exactly. When something else besides fragrances occupies your mind to the point where you actually forget about them for a while, that's good. I have found, like Markymark, that the things he mentioned are the real issues in life anyway.Originally Posted by Markymark
I know what you're going through. I've gone through fits of compulsive buying. I've finally stopped because I'm saving my money for a new computer. It's hard to resist blindly ordering stuff like the new CdG Guerillas etc.
But on another level, I found I didn't like myself when I was carrying on like a big dandy, running around buying colognes all the time. (I'm fine with this hobby and don't find it to be so bad in itself, but my compulsive buying... it just didn't make me feel like much of a MAN sometimes.) So being that there were several things about myself that were obsessive/compulsive in nature, I decided to get obsessive about things that were more constructive. What's the point of having all these scents if I don't like myself? So I started going to the gym like crazy. I'm no Arnold Schwartzenegger (yet), but I feel a million times better about myself, and I'm a lot more confident. And I seem to appreciate little things in a purer, less frantic "I need THIS, then THAT" kind of way.
We all have to "right the ship" sometimes, and we all find our own ways to do it. For me, I turned my compulsion to healthier things. And I've taken a hiatus from this place a few times-- that has always helped. Get yourself a project that has nothing to do with scents and devote a few months to it. Definitely, take a breather. I know I'm feeling overdue for one... I need to get my future together, for good this time!
I think it's natural. Sometimes you just need to take a step back from it all. I went away for awhile and came back much refreshed.
I just have to jump in here to give credit to every person in this thread: to Mic for being so forthright and open to advice; and to everyone else for being compassionate, wise and thoughtful in your wording and guidance. It's an honor to be amongst you.
Last edited by Quarry; 12th July 2006 at 08:32 PM.
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It always helps to see yourself from 'outside' -as if in a mirror- as a stranger. Just think of Tony Curtis in 'The Boston Strangler'
You've already received some very thoughtful and insightful replies to your dilemma. You may have a compulsive shopping habit, but probably not. Not unless, that is, your finances have suffered due to your fragrance purchases, with some of your more fundamental needs (food, shelter, clothing, etc.) having been compromised by your scent "habit".
Your dilemma is quite common to men. We tend to be both inveterate collectors of things, as well as "maximizers" as was mentioned. I've been where you find yourself several times before, in relationship to collecting timepieces, sets of Wilson Staff forged irons, different series of coins (e.g., buffalo nickels), vintage Mavic bike component parts and, now, fragrances. Some men and women (think scents, handbags, shoes, scarves), find satisfaction in pursuing the completion of some seemingly finite task. In so doing, if we're not careful in boundary setting, we can figuratively bite off more than we can chew.
I have experienced this with timepiece collecting. Though on the surface it seems that one should be able to experience (i.e., own) nearly every old wristwatch made by the Waltham Watch Company, the reality is that there might as well be as many different models of Waltham wristwatches as there are drops of water in the oceans. For only once you've travelled a considerably long way down the path does one begin to understand the immensity, and folly, of the pursuit of such collecting.
I have over 225 fragrances, purchased in just the last two years since discovering Basenotes. It's easy to rationalize another acquisition, even of samples, for variety is the spice of life, right? And the experiencing of one more scent just adds to one's experiential database and knowledge therein, right? The only difficulty is that this road is infinitely long, both for time and resources. It is ultimately only in embracing that which we do not know that real understanding takes place. Only at this point do we really "find" ourselves, listen to our innermost selves, arrive at that place of joy and contentment.
This is neither a condemnation of collecting nor a plea for minimalism. Indeed, I do not intend to condemn anything nor endorse any type of lifestyle. To do so would be superficial. As the Lakota Sioux traditional saying translates, "Our lives are like the wind upon the buffalo grass."
note to Grant: this post, this whole thread in fact, ought to be put into the permanent archive.Originally Posted by wicozani
It sounds like you're trying to compensate for something, scents usually reflect different moods or they simply transport you to faraway places, me thinks...
been on a vacation lately?
Mic. I'm not sure if it's for the same reason, but if it helps, I'm dealing with the same thoughts like you have lately. Maybe it's called growing up, I dunno. I'm a 37 year old guy , maried, two kids, 5 and 10 years old , both girls. While I truly enjoy "smelly shopping"with the girls , I'm at the point now that I think it's totally ridiculous to own 200 bottles of fragrance, for a man, that is.This is my opinion ofcourse, I'm not saying it makes sense or you have to agree, it's just the way I see it right now. Maybe it was due to a fact that some days ago, my youngest told someone that her dad loved buying fragrances. In some weird way I really felt emberrased by that, but it made me rethink about some things for sure. I think I rather want the girls to think of their dad loving one or two favorite scents than a dad who had 200 bottles of perfume in his closet. What I try to do now, is keeping my collection to a few good fragrances , ones I really enjoy and one of my missions is to actually really empty a bottle, you know.., till the last drop. Just my 2 cents.
In fact I have just returned from 2 weeks in Italy :-)Originally Posted by perfectscent
The only thing I had on my mind (while my family was on the beach etc.) was to find places to buy parfumes!
Oddly enough I had a similar experience last year at Jesolo di Lido, next to Venice. The water was too warm - I felt like I was swimming in soup - and it was much more fun walking up and down the shops behind the beach. Believe me, the perfume shops were far more interesting than the hundreds of shoe shops and bag shops. I bought a Tommy Hilfiger bag for my ladyfriend , and a bottle of Byblos Patchouli for myself.Originally Posted by Mic
Mic! Whaddja git? Feed me some reviews, brother!Originally Posted by Mic
That girl, that bottle, that mattress and me.
This is great advice for anything that starts to feel consuming. Another thought I had...While my collection is nowhere near yours Mic, I felt a great sense of freedom in selling off some of the ones I did not really love. I no longer felt like the collection was starting to own me. The process of choosing the ones to keep and the ones to sell was also liberating, in that I had to decide what direction I wanted to go with my collection, and not just collect anything and everything. That sounds constraining, but sometimes having direction, priority, and focus feels rather liberating.Originally Posted by milamber
And strangely enough this was also where I was!!! And a week after that at the Garda Lake near Bardolino.Originally Posted by Renato
Many smaller shops still carry many discontinued scents there. I found Monsieur de Givenchy II, Ténéré, Boss Spirit and a lot of other stuff.
They also carry a lot of scents which are still in production but in original bottles/pagaging.
There was a shop in Garda - it was small but the whole 1st floor was dedicated to mens parfumes.........I tell you - it was just like walking into a museum.
Strange thing was that when I had all these gems in my hand I did not want them.....and bought some newer stuff instead. I was "too afraid" that they would smell bad.
What I think would be best is what several people said previously. Just to get rid of any scents you do not want and really stick to finding the 10/10 scents. I know I'm only 16 and I have about 30 + many samples. But I know I wouldn't mind getting rid of some of the colognes I have because frankly I don't ever see the need to use them. The problem is they're designer scents that not many people would want either. I know there's a lot of different scents out there, but the best scents in life are not the ones bottled up in a glass container. They're out in the world. The rain, a thunderstorm, snow, a forest, the ocean, etc. These are the greatest scents in life and should really be appreciated more than they are. Plus they can clear your head too.
Next time you feel yourself have a need for a certain scent you see online, or in a shop or where ever you are, go outside and just stop and drink in everything. No one stops to notice the sky at night, or the way it smells after a thunderstorm, because we're all too busy. But they should do it more because that, that's beauty in it's purest form. These scents aren't mixed with different ingredients and alcohol. They're pure.
Hi again Mic,Originally Posted by Mic
Well, that's a coincidence. I was there towards the end of June, and it was so hot and humid that I was chewing up my scents at four or five times my normal rate. But it was fun wandering up and down the main street sitting down and having cokes and cappucinos - in the vain hope that someone in that part of Italy would know how to make one that wasn't all froth!
I'm a bit like you with respect to the old scents. I like sniffing them if I can, but they often seem dated or too formal for my tastes. I haven't been to Garda, but I posted here about my surprise on walking into a shop in the home town that seemed to have every niche scent ever mentioned here - something that wasn't the case in London or Paris. I think Italians take their scents very seriously if number of shops is any guide.
You've reached the threshold level that scentoholics all went through. Its a passing phase, soon you'll be back to normal - so just take it easy. Or maybe you should join the Fight Club, that will bring things into perspective! For your consolation, collecting scents is less absurd than buying loads of Ikea furniture.
I'm not being sarcastic, just trying to cheer you up. To tell you the truth, perfume just doesn't smell nice when you are not in love. Get back in love again - with your wife/girlfriend/boyfriend/dog/cat/life. This is the advise from Eau de Amour, quoting Madonna "When your heart is not open, you are frozen."
Lastly, you should use some Calvin Klein fragrance as a cleansing ritual scent. Years ago, members here use CK's scents to purify themselves when they got tired of their perfume collection. I am not kidding you, some veterans here can verify for me. After a period of wearing CK, everything else will smell nice again.
All the Best,
It's a very nice story of the desperate attempts to find a perfect scent
(as in Suskind's novel)
Yuo should use only one perfume - YSL Jazz
should remember that life (and the world of scents) is jazz, improvisation
you will not buy all perfumes. will not read all books, will not love all women
p.s. parallel of your story you can find in any sphere of man's activity.
what to do for us - maximalists?
"PLAIN LIVING, HIGH THINKING" O.W., De Profundis
One can not prove the beauty, but show it. You see it or you don't.
Real beauty: 1) Frederic Malle 1-20 2) Chanel Egoiste 3) YSL Opium pour Homme edp 4) Guerlain Habit Rouge 5) TF Noir de Noir \\ Noses: 1) Jacques Cavallier 2) Maurice Roucel
I feel ya.Although I only own 35 bottles, at times it seemed I liked the bottle more than the fragrance.I had to ask myself, "Am I collecting fragrances or bottles?" That aside, many fragrances smell too much alike.Why buy the same fragrance in a different bottle? Im still looking for something different, but great.