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  1. #1

    Default Legit Compliments

    Somebody on one of these threads wrote that they didn’t think verbal compliments meant that much (referring to girls’ interest level) and I kind of think the same thing. I am wondering how many of these compliments people write about are legit, as in "I really like this fragrance," and how many of them fall into the “make this person feel good category.”

    I was just reading through the thread on how many sprays people use and it’s not uncommon for people to use upwards of 6 sprays. I know different frags have different strengths, but from what I was reading I get the sense that a lot of people are walking out the door with the olfactory volume on a bit high. When you draw that much attention to yourself of course people are going to say things because it’s in their face. If you’re a decent person, or at least not a total jerk, most people will say nice things, rather than tell you that you stink.

    This reminds me of my friend Russ, who always gets compliments on his clothes. I brought up the topic of Russ’s admirers to some of my other friends and they were like, “yeah wouldn’t you want it if you spent $70 on a shirt every time you went out.” So when they compliment Russ its more to stroke his insecurities than taking a real liking to his clothes. I’m sure the same thing goes on when people wear a lot of fragrance and go around talking about fragrance to everyone. People are just going to tell them that they smell nice because it will make them feel good. This is kind of like when a girl changes her hairstyle. You always compliment the new look, even if she just hacked her hair into a mullet and looks like she just got off of the Quiet Riot tour bus.

    Don’t give me the “I wear fragrance for myself and don’t care what others think” routine because if nobody cared about what others think compliments would not be such a big topic around here.
    Last edited by xirdneh69; 31st July 2006 at 06:19 AM.

  2. #2
    ChrisW's Avatar
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    Default Re: Legit Compliments

    I rarely get verbal compliments, but with keen observations, it is easy to tell if one is receiving a 'legit compliment' by noticing someone entering your personal space. Sometimes when females get particularly close to me and enter my scent radius (especially when it is unnecessary and voluntary), it can be legitimately construed as a compliment. In my opinion, of course.

  3. #3

    Default Re: Legit Compliments

    Quote Originally Posted by ChrisW
    I rarely get verbal compliments, but with keen observations, it is easy to tell if one is receiving a 'legit compliment' by noticing someone entering your personal space. Sometimes when females get particularly close to me and enter my scent radius (especially when it is unnecessary and voluntary), it can be legitimately construed as a compliment. In my opinion, of course.

    I agree 100%. Also, most people who give you a compliment, unless they're very very aware of how much you spend on your frags, will not be able to tell the difference between a L'Artisan, a Creed or a YSL frag. Especially the random stranger who approaches you and says "oooooh, you smell good!!!" will most likely have that reaction to mass-market frags such as Polo or Davidoff. These are legit compliments... They don't care *what* you're wearing, to them, it just "smells good". If you have a reaaaaaaaally small... ego... you'll then try to impress them by telling them it's a super-expensive bottle of Creed. But they'd have been just as attracted by a 15$ bottle of Cool Water.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Legit Compliments

    My reply is just a little 'off' from where you are going.

    I have much younger, female friend at work. She likes frags and gave her husband GIT some time ago. She is my "cologne tester" if you will . I got her promise that she would always give me her honest opinion on the different scents I wear to work. She laughs every time a new cologne box arrives. She has told me from time-to-time that I have on one that she doesn't like.

    Though I trust her nose and her honesty, I still take what she says "with a grain of salt", knowing that others may or may not agree with her assessment.

    I do agree that most comments will be positive when asked for .


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  5. #5

    Default Re: Legit Compliments

    Quote Originally Posted by xirdneh69

    Don’t give me the “I wear fragrance for myself and don’t care what others think” routine because if nobody cared about what others think compliments would not be such a big topic around here.
    Maybe i'm in the minority. Although, i'm appreciative of compliments, I couldn't care less as to whether I received them or not, i'm pretty confident of who I am or what I wear for that matter.

    Anyway, if compliments mean a lot to you, you needn't worry if you surround yourself with sincere friends, & then again it is not one's prerogative to receive compliments in the first place.
    Last edited by magnnum; 31st July 2006 at 05:41 PM.

  6. #6
    PRBRT33's Avatar
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    Default Re: Legit Compliments

    Again, I don't give a shit if anyone compliments me or not...as long as the patients aren't puking because of it, I'm on the right track...I did however receive a rather ardent complement the other night from a co-worker to whom compliments are a foreign language. She's late 30's and would be really attractive if it weren't for her downright snottyness. Her first whiff of me got a "Wow, you smell handsome tonight...what is that?" I was wearing Burberry Brit for Men...not some niche frag I decided on for the evening. Of course I told...After a while on here you learn that the stuff we all like tremendously, is for the most part, the exact opposite of what gets complimented. I've never gotten a compliment from any "exclusive" frag, except for GIT...all the compliments have come from the ordinary's like Brit...with exception of Mom who loved GV...surprising, I know she hates that I smoke, but loved the tobacco note...go figure!! =) But my mom has great taste, what can I say...a great lady! =)

  7. #7

    Default Re: Legit Compliments

    I wasn't trying to say that everyone here wears cologne for compliments and not for themselves. I was just trying to say that I didn't want to hear the whole spiel about how "I wear this for me and nobody else and fuck all others," I've heard all that before. I just wanted keep the conversation on the legitimacy of compliments. I'm making the argument that half the compliments people talk about are completely bogas. Yeah, I'm being a bit of a cynic, but I like to get real and talk about these things.

  8. #8

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    Talking Re: Legit Compliments

    I only ever get compliments from people who have gotten very close, i.e. given me a hug. I don't spray a lot and I guess the ones that I like don't have the monster sillage that some commercial ones do. I don't want to gas anyone out, but yes, it would be nice if I got some more compliments. I'm a whore, I admit it.

  9. #9

    Default Re: Legit Compliments

    From previous threads one can see that most of us use scents not just for our own pleasure, but to amuse, attract, etc. others. Waiting for and being happy about compliments is not something from the devil. But with a clean conscience one should think about the differences even learned, practiced people here at basenotes can have about the very same scent.
    Wouldn't it be stupid say to stop using a particular frag just because our girlfriend founf it unpleasant?
    As with lots of other thing in life, a little smile at ourself possibly will help

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Legit Compliments

    I was gone on vacation recently and wore a different scent every night. During the whole 12 days, I got one compliment. It was while I was wearing Montale Greyland, and the compliment was from a lesbian dinner companion.

    Go figure!
    Yr good bud,

    JaimeB

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  11. #11

    Default Re: Legit Compliments

    Quote Originally Posted by tmp00
    I only ever get compliments from people who have gotten very close, i.e. given me a hug. I don't spray a lot and I guess the ones that I like don't have the monster sillage that some commercial ones do. I don't want to gas anyone out, but yes, it would be nice if I got some more compliments. I'm a whore, I admit it.
    Word.

  12. #12

    Default Re: Legit Compliments

    When it comes to compliments, I rarely get any. In my 4 years of wearing perfumes, I’ve only really gotten 3 or 4 compliments from a totally stranger. I’ll get some nice compliments from friends & family members, and you can sort of tell with body language and facial expressions if someone is enjoying your SOTD, but that’s all I’ve gotten.

    Thinking about it, I actually don’t really care, I actually get really shy when someone says the words “Is someone wearing cologne?” Just yesterday I got out of the shower and put on some MI, walked out and my younger brother’s friend asked if I was wearing cologne. I lied and said it was just some shower gel stuff. I only wear fragrances for myself.

    But I got this funny story about Legit Compliments. Back in my early days of wearing cologne, I was leaving the mall one day trying to get to my car ASAP, so I can head out to this one place. There was this one girl standing at the exit trying to get people to enter a draw to win Gym Memberships. I was in a real hurry but she kept insisting I sign up. I kept telling her I’m a student and barely have time for that stuff but she kept on saying it only take a minute. I finally gave up and decided to fill out this form. She kind of knew I was a little pissed off but I think it was her job to get as many people to enter this draw. I think she tried to make me fell better or even happier by complimenting my SOTD. I was wearing my dad’s Azzaro PH, I was in a hurry and forgot to spray something in the morning, and my dad keeps that stuff in his car. She said it smelt strong and a lot different then most men’s cologne and how she liked it.

    I looked at her and said “Thanks” but at the same time I knew she was lying, and just trying to make me fell better for taking up my time.

  13. #13

    Default Re: Legit Compliments

    I never get compliments. Ever. I try to be light handed. Maybe I am too light handed and no one smells me.

    I work with guys. I work in a male driven industry so every job pretty much is a repeat of the last. Most hetero guys are not going to compliment another on anything. I've gotten "cool shirt" once in a while but that is about it. I really don't have a social life, so my exposure to external opinion is kind of limited.

    I do, however, try to be aware of negative responses, such as sneezing and sniffling. I had this happen not long ago where I was enclosed in a room with four gents, and two started snifflling. My scent of the day was a popular topic of late:

    Yatagan

    As such I stopped wearing Yatagan to the workplace. I like it, but I am not going to be an ass about my choice of fragrance.
    Last edited by Dayknight; 31st July 2006 at 09:00 PM.

  14. #14

    Default Re: Legit Compliments

    I think proximity has something to do with this too. If someone gives you a compliment, while giving you a hug, they probably genuinely think you smell nice. I say this because it’s socially appropriate, and pleasing, to have a nice scent within a close proximity of yourself, but if you’re scent carries a great deal of distance you’re getting into an area of vulgarity (some call this self confidence or putting themselves out there). People often compliment these folks because they seem to be fishing for it.

    Nsamdi hit the nail on the head when he said, "I actually get really shy when someone says the words 'Is someone wearing cologne?'" I feel the same way too because it makes you feel whorish, but I think some people take these kinds of words and compliments at face value and it encourages them to spray even heavier. My overall point is that sometimes compliments are not a good thing. This is like when people get confused between others laughing with them when actually they are laughing at them.

  15. #15

    Default Re: Legit Compliments

    ...
    Last edited by Derawk; 26th November 2009 at 07:01 PM.

  16. #16

    Default Re: Legit Compliments

    This is a pretty good procedure (for me) to tell if a compliment is legit or not:

    1. Who is it? Is it a complete stranger? Not to say that strangers won't be honest, but I find that generally the people you know are more likely give the truth, especially the better they know you.

    2. What do they say? There's obviously a big difference between, "you smell great" and "did someone put on perfume?" which then could be followed by "oh, well you smell good" when perhaps they wanted to say "eww."

    3. How do they say it? Was it in a sarcastic or mocking tone? Is this person prone to putting others down (if you know them) or having a subtle sense of humor?


    Also something to consider is that someone could smell good and you could still not like how they smell. An example would be I work with a woman that wears Chanel No. 5, and not even that much of the stuff, yet I still can't stand it when she wears any. I think No. 5 can be a beautiful fragrance, but even small doses make me feel sick, so in this case she smells good but I'm not likely to compliment her.

    One final point, and it's more of my view than a greater truth on human behaviour, is that perfume is something very sensual and intimate. I would feel uncomfortable receiving compliments from associates or co-workers just because I feel they don't know me that way. A close friend mentioning my perfume is what I prefer because chances are we have a close enough bond where it makes sense.
    The pursuit of philosophy is the hope that there is more to life than we realize. By philosophy, however, we come to realize that in fact there is less to life than previously imagined.

  17. #17
    Rockford's Avatar
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    Default Re: Legit Compliments

    Quote Originally Posted by xirdneh69
    Don’t give me the “I wear fragrance for myself and don’t care what others think” routine because if nobody cared about what others think compliments would not be such a big topic around here.
    In my opinion, the assertion that compliments are "a big topic around here” is not true. Anyone can easily analyze today’s posts (or last week’s posts or last month’s posts or last year’s posts) to determine how often compliments are mentioned, and it will quickly be very obvious that the subject of compliments is actually a very small percentage of the total discussion.

  18. #18

    Default Re: Legit Compliments

    Quote Originally Posted by Rockford
    In my opinion, the assertion that compliments are "a big topic around here” is not true. Anyone can easily analyze today’s posts (or last week’s posts or last month’s posts or last year’s posts) to determine how often compliments are mentioned, and it will quickly be very obvious that the subject of compliments is actually a very small percentage of the total discussion.
    I haven't been around on the boards for too long so I can't comment on whether or not compliments were talked about much last month or last year, but compliments have gotten plenty of “air time” in the few weeks of I've been around. Compliments may not be the main topic of the thread, but in several threads about fragrances you read people talking about how often a particular fragrance has garnered compliments. I’m willing to bet that in the last month the words "compliment", "compliments" or "complimented" has show up at least two to three times more than the term “Rive Gauche,” which seems to be the hot fragrance on the board right now. If you analyzed words like Vetiver and Patchouli and broke them down into percentages they would look small as well, but I think most would agree that these notes are a big deal. Maybe you read different threads than I do, but I see compliments being talked about all the time.

  19. #19

    Default Re: Legit Compliments

    Quote Originally Posted by Rockford
    In my opinion, the assertion that compliments are "a big topic around here” is not true. Anyone can easily analyze today’s posts (or last week’s posts or last month’s posts or last year’s posts) to determine how often compliments are mentioned, and it will quickly be very obvious that the subject of compliments is actually a very small percentage of the total discussion.
    In the past week 12 individual topics have the keyword "compliment" in them at least once (never mind multiple hits in a topic), all from men's fragrances. In the past week there has been one hit for "compliment" outside of men's fragrances and that's in "men's grooming." Hate to break it to everyone, but I think we as men have a problem with wanting compliments.

    There's been 490 topics with compliment tagged since November 21st 2004, that's .794 posts per day with a reference to a compliment. I'll even go a step further; there have been 500 individual posts with "compliment" in the post since February 13th, 2006. That's 2.976 per day. So yeah, not as popular as say, Creed (19.231 per day since July 5th) but still pretty popular. Keep in mind all these figures are stunted as the search engine only provides the first 500 responses.
    Last edited by Informer; 1st August 2006 at 04:46 AM.
    The pursuit of philosophy is the hope that there is more to life than we realize. By philosophy, however, we come to realize that in fact there is less to life than previously imagined.

  20. #20

    Default Re: Legit Compliments

    Thanks for doing the dirty work for me Informer. And I thought "Informer" was a reference to that cheesy rap singer a few years back...

  21. #21
    Rockford's Avatar
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    Default Re: Legit Compliments

    Oh my, it looks like we’ve opened a can of worms here.

    First of all, let me say thank you for being such gentlemen in this discussion. It is good to know that we can discuss such topics in a gentlemanly way.

    Second, I think we should know on which forum(s) you have conducted your searches. I am assuming that you searched on the Male Fragrance Discussion Forum only. But let us know.

    Quote Originally Posted by Informer
    There's been 490 topics with compliment tagged since November 21st 2004, that's .794 posts per day with a reference to a compliment.
    Maybe I am reading your statistics incorrectly, but it seems to me that you have proved my point. You’re saying that less than one post per day has a “reference” to a compliment. Considering the tens of thousands of words posted every day, I think that less than one post per day with a “reference” to a compliment is practically nothing. And remember, a “reference” could mean that the word “compliment” was just included in one sentence of the post.

    Quote Originally Posted by Informer
    there have been 500 individual posts with "compliment" in the post since February 13th, 2006. That's 2.976 per day.
    Again, I think this proves my point. You’re saying that less than three posts per day have a “reference” to a compliment. Considering the tens of thousands of words posted every day, I think that less than three posts per day with a “reference” to a compliment is practically nothing.

    I’m dumbfounded that you think that these statistics prove that compliments are “a big topic around here”. Am I reading the statistics incorrectly? There are tens of thousands of words posted to these forums every day, and you think that less than three posts per day referencing the word “compliment” is a lot? My friend, less than three posts a day is a very small percentage of the total discussion that is occurring here on a daily basis.

    I must ask again, am I reading your statistics incorrectly?

  22. #22
    Rockford's Avatar
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    Default Re: Legit Compliments

    Quote Originally Posted by xirdneh69
    I’m willing to bet that in the last month the words "compliment", "compliments" or "complimented" has show up at least two to three times more than the term “Rive Gauche,” which seems to be the hot fragrance on the board right now.
    Well, that is a losing bet, and I would advise you to not bet on that. I don't want you to lose your money.

  23. #23

    Default Re: Legit Compliments

    Sorry if I am coming off as "ungentlemanly" Rockford, but I was just backing up my original statement that you challenged. You're entitled to your opinion and I can disagree. Sorry if I’m playing a little too rough. I blame my childishness being raised in this culture. Dammit! It's too brutish and overly competitive.

    Anyway, here I go again. I don't know how you figured I would lose the Rive Gauche vs. Compliment, Compliments or Complimented bet, but you could be right, but that’s besides the points. My initial claim was that compliments are a big topic around here and in the about the last 13 hours this post, titled "Legit Compliments," has had over 400 views. It's about the hottest topic on the board in the last day. Do we really want to sit here and play with semantics and percentages to figure out what constitutes a “big topic?” This was just a feeling I had when reading through multiple posts, I didn’t consider percentages when writing it, I won’t be so reckless next time.
    Last edited by xirdneh69; 1st August 2006 at 08:23 AM.

  24. #24

    Default Re: Legit Compliments

    Just to clarify my last comment, I'm an American (US). That's the culture I was referrring to. That was probably obvious from my statment.

  25. #25

    Default Re: Legit Compliments

    Hmmm. As for scents, really it's really much all about my personality and what I do actually like about that scent. Seriously, you actually think a girl cares more about my SOTD rather than my general looks and personality? DREAM ON!

    As for your friend Russ, if it is his intention to lure women with $70 shirts regardless if there's a pony, a moose, or a crocodile or whatever on it, it's all well and good, and really a bit strange for the men in your circle to "chat" about it. But you can hint to your friend Russ that I've been reliably confided and informed by many women that, although the general "ensemble" may be one thing, it's definitely Italian SHOES that makes them gush and tingle! BELIEVE ME!

    And seriously, why make Russ a mercy case? It's a good thing when we try to look good. Hopefully however he doesn't advertise within earshot of others in the office that he spent another 70 bucks for that shirt for that week, now that's tacky.

    Seriously, scents are something that I save for me. Good dressing is definitely for the women!

  26. #26

    Default Re: Legit Compliments

    Quote Originally Posted by iMaverick
    Hmmm. As for scents, really it's really much all about my personality and what I do actually like about that scent. Seriously, you actually think a girl cares more about my SOTD rather than my general looks and personality? DREAM ON!

    As for your friend Russ, if it is his intention to lure women with $70 shirts regardless if there's a pony, a moose, or a crocodile or whatever on it, it's all well and good, and really a bit strange for the men in your circle to "chat" about it. But you can hint to your friend Russ that I've been reliably confided and informed by many women that, although the general "ensemble" may be one thing, it's definitely Italian SHOES that makes them gush and tingle! BELIEVE ME!

    And seriously, why make Russ a mercy case? It's a good thing when we try to look good. Hopefully however he doesn't advertise within earshot of others in the office that he spent another 70 bucks for that shirt for that week, now that's tacky.

    Seriously, scents are something that I save for me. Good dressing is definitely for the women!

    Is a shirt worth $70 really going to be all that impressive anyway?

  27. #27

    Default Re: Legit Compliments

    I'm another member of the minority - I only ever wear a scent for myself, and go so far as to regulate how much I wear so only I can smell it.

    Compliments are good, but I actually don't want to get into a conversation with someone about why they think I smell nice.

  28. #28

    Default Re: Legit Compliments

    I had a co-worker, yesterday as a matter of fact, (also it is a HEAT WAVE here in MD) compliment me on my Bergamote 22 by Le Labo...she said I smelled wonderful and it was "different"....then the subject came up of "How do you find your colognes?" So I obviously plugged B'Notes....

  29. #29

    Default Re: Legit Compliments

    Good luck luring those women with your Italian Shoes. The shoes may make them gush and tingle, but BELIEVE ME; they'll assume you're gay! It’s an embedded stereotype in our culture, men into high fashion prefer other men. I'm sure women would think the same thing if they were keen to our exquisite fragrance taste, but the great thing about frags is very few are in the know.

  30. #30
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    Default Re: Legit Compliments

    Quote Originally Posted by xirdneh69
    they'll assume you're gay! It’s an embedded stereotype in our culture, men into high fashion prefer other men.
    Not so.
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