No, the EDT and the EDP are NOT the same. No matter what any salesperson tries to tell you. The EDP is in a clear bottle and the EDT is in a frosted bottle. So it's quite easy to tell the difference.
I think the refillable bottle you are talking about is a brushed stainless steel bottle. It's nice looking, but I don't think it's still around (and it's expensive - smaller amount for more money; you are really paying for the bottle).
Good luck with the surprise present!