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  1. #1

    Default A gentle fragrance to help heal - sorry sad

    Sorry for such a sad post. I am miscarrying a much longed-for baby. At the moment none of my fragrances help, and I think it will be a while before I can wear them again. Can anyone suggest something gentle, comforting and tender that I can consider for the weeks to come? I'm not really up to large-scale sampling so would like a make a shortlist. Plus I lent all my Lutens/Goutal/Caron samples from Les Senteurs to a friend to choose a gift for his wife.

  2. #2

    Default Re: A gentle fragrance to help heal - sorry sad

    Sorry to hear that, dear Hebe! ((( Hugs ))) and prayers. Lavender-scented bath products? Light honeysuckle? L'Artisan Jour de Fete? Something soothing and tropical? Only you can find the right scent(s), dear, but I am keeping you in my prayers.

  3. #3

    Default Re: A gentle fragrance to help heal - sorry sad

    Really sorry to hear this Hebe , I know it is not an easy thing to go through. My prayers are with you.

    I do second what Twolf sugessted.
    Vijay"Maisonstinky"

  4. #4

    Default Re: A gentle fragrance to help heal - sorry sad

    my first thought was vintage white shoulders, i think the definition of comforting frag, but it is kind of hard to get hold of, so maybe blush by marc jacobs?

    best wishes

  5. #5

    Default Re: A gentle fragrance to help heal - sorry sad

    (((HUGS))) dear Hebe, this is so immensely sad.

    Please, don't use scents you are already fond of. I am afraid they will be forever linked to your sorrow.
    Maybe something gentle like Diorissimo? Or indeed a scent with lavender. Jicky EDT? Light enough not to bother you and very comforting.

    My thoughts are with you, sweetie.
    The bird of paradise alights only upon the hand that does not grasp

  6. #6

    Default Re: A gentle fragrance to help heal - sorry sad

    I´m very sorry to hear this, Hebe. I do not have any good suggestion for you, just wanted to express my sympathy, and send you my best wishes and a bunch of hugs.
    Everything passes. Everything changes. Just do what you think you should do.
    --Bob Dylan

  7. #7

    Default Re: A gentle fragrance to help heal - sorry sad

    I'm sorry to hear about your sorrow...

    I immediately thought of a soft rose frag, I found Sa Majeste la Rose to be very nurturing for me awhile back, but if this is difficult to procure, what about Bulgari's Rose Essentielle? This scent has a tenderness to it that may be supportive to you at this time.

    Or some scented body balms and creams? Lavender could be good.
    "Like a lobster with a pearl in its claw, the beet held the jasmine firmly without crushing or obscuring it. Beet lifted jasmine, the way a bullnecked partner lifts a ballerina, and the pair came on stage on citron's fluty cue. As if jasmine were a collection of beautiful paintings, beet hung it in the galleries of the nose, insured it against fire or theft, threw a party to celebrate it. Citron mailed the invitations." Jitterbug Perfume by Tom Robbins p. 189

    What I am loving right now: Shalimar vintage extrait, Chanel Bois des Iles, Chanel no. 22, Le Labo Iris 39, Guerlain Iris Ganache

  8. #8

    Default Re: A gentle fragrance to help heal - sorry sad

    I'm so sorry for you, (((dear))), and am sending healing vibes and hugs your way. I'm not very good with gentle fragrances, but the first one that came to my mind was Olivia Giacobetti's En Passant from the Malle line. I find it so tenderly beautiful.
    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]Sniffing around
    I'll stop wearing black when they make something darker

  9. #9

    Default Re: A gentle fragrance to help heal - sorry sad

    I´m so sorry to read this, Hebe!

    I do allow myself to suggest a one-flower-fraganse for helping you through the misscarrying and the loss of your tiny-little baby. And the flower - why not let it be the flower rose?

    My suggestion is Stella by Stella McCartney.

    But perhaps another one-flower-fraganse is even better for you...
    Faves right now: Chanel No 19, Stella Rose Absolute, L´Heure Bleu, Elixir de Merveilles, Samsara.

  10. #10

    TaoLady's Avatar
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    Default Re: A gentle fragrance to help heal - sorry sad

    Bless your heart - that really sucks! I cannot imagine what you are going through - gave a child up for adoption, but it's not the same thing.

    This is going to sound weird - Johnson's Baby Shampoo with Lavender and Johnson's Natural Baby Creme with Lavender. I think that if you wash your hair and body and allow the softly scented cream to envelop your body you may experience the presence of your baby's spirit and begin the journey to acceptance and peace. And be a comfort to the baby's father who must be suffering also.

    Know that we all love you and are thinking of you.
    "The world is ruled by letting things take their course. It cannot be ruled by interfering." Lao Tze

  11. #11

    Default Re: A gentle fragrance to help heal - sorry sad

    I don't have a fragrance suggestion for you, but I wanted to express my sorrow at your loss.

  12. #12
    Lean in closer, dear
    Quarry's Avatar
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    Default Re: A gentle fragrance to help heal - sorry sad

    My first thought, like others here, was lavender, and Jicky EDT in particular. Here comes another hug from the many BNers who are encircling you with their arms.
    In a world where 6 million people are added each month, every landscape matters.

  13. #13
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    Default Re: A gentle fragrance to help heal - sorry sad

    I am very sorry and hope you're ok as you read this.

    I'm going to say anything citrus. Citrus is prescribed in aromatherapy. The use of citrus in depression is common. Maybe not a cologne maybe the real thing, or a candle.

  14. #14

    Default Re: A gentle fragrance to help heal - sorry sad

    Oh, Hebe (((HUGS))). So sorry you are going through this. Been there myself (twice) many years ago.

    At that time, another friend who also went through several miscarriages said it best: You have lost a bit of hope, and it is devastating. PM me if you want or need to commiserate.

    Fragrance-wise, I agree that you should avoid known scents that you already love, though perhaps whatever frag you find to help get you through this time may later become a well-loved scent on its own, as an honor and tribute to your almost-hope.

    Personally recommend ginger, citrus and/or lavendar-based scents, as both solace and mood elevators. One that is fantastic, and also happens to include a hearty note of the multiply-previously-suggested rose, is Parfums Del Rae's Eau Illuminee.

    Others I might suggest are 4711 (very light and gentle), absolutely anything lavendar and The Thymes Ginger Milk (which I first bought when I was going through a bit of a rough patch emotionally, and is now one of my favorites, no negative associations!).

    Be gentle with yourself, and with your partner if you have one.
    It’s thought that people who hope too much will just waste their life away and never get down to doing any real work. They’re confusing Hope with Wish, its lazy cousin... When Wish whispers, “Something is just around the corner,” what comes or not is never what was wished for. When Hope whispers “Something is just around the corner,” something always is. -- Charlie Elberson

    My sale thread has some of my underappreciated fragrances looking for a good, new home...

  15. #15

    Default Re: A gentle fragrance to help heal - sorry sad

    Remembering you and your loss in my prayers, my heart goes out to you, Hebe. Two of the softest and most gentle fragrances I know are Clinique Simply and Jil Sander Sensations. Also agree with lavender for healing, or perhaps a fragrance worn by your own mother when you were a child might give you comfort.

  16. #16

    Default Re: A gentle fragrance to help heal - sorry sad

    I'm new to posting on Basenotes, there were some really nice suggestions here. Since no one mentioned it, some aromatherapy blends may help also. Many of the classics use rose otto, sandalwood, or cypress. These are expensive, but you only need a very small amount. I would definitely go with a more reputable essential oil vendor, such as Eden Botanicals to buy them from, since they are far pricier than fragrance oils. Also, because they aren't perfumes, you will not have that memory lingering in your mind every time you smell them, since they are not oils worn alone.

    If you do a search on the net, there are a lot of different grief blends... maybe in just doing the research, you can help both focus and distract a little from the pain. I totally feel for you.

  17. #17

    Default Re: A gentle fragrance to help heal - sorry sad

    I'm so sorry to hear that
    Philosphy makes fabulous cuddly scents. Sephora and Nordstrom carry Philosophy.

  18. #18

    Default Re: A gentle fragrance to help heal - sorry sad

    Thank you all so much, your thoughts and prayers and suggestions are truly appreciated.

    The rose suggestions are striking a chord - I started to miscarry on Feb 15th when the front room had a massive vase of red roses from my darling husband from Valentines Day. He was so excited about being a father, and now he is struggling too. I wondered about En Passant too, also Angeliques sous la pluie, both of which samples are with my friend at present. I think he is a good enough friend to pass them back in my hour of need. Unfortunately anything with the slightest hint of aniseed is out, as oh really doesn't like it. I'm wondering about Bois Farine - Jour de Fete is one of my staples, so I don't really want to taint that one with sorrow, but I think bois farine is another sample I will dig out.

    I love the idea of the scent of baby smells, but think that could be a bit close to the bone for me right now.

    Sorry not to respond to everyone right now, but I am truly grateful and send tearful hugs back to you all.

  19. #19

    Default Re: A gentle fragrance to help heal - sorry sad

    Sending good thoughts and hugs to you and your husband from Kansas ... be good to yourself and to each other ...
    I've trademarked the color bleu

  20. #20

    Default Re: A gentle fragrance to help heal - sorry sad

    I'm so sorry for both you & Mr. Hebe!
    I think the most healing scent for you might be the sweet, familiar scent of Mr. Hebe and the same for goes for him. There is something about the way Mr.Tinker's skin smells when we hug that can soothe my soul & help my troubled heart like nothing else.
    Best wishes for you both! Allie

  21. #21

    Default Re: A gentle fragrance to help heal - sorry sad

    I am so sorry to hear about your loss.

    Philosophy makes a fragrance line called Amazing Grace, such as hair/body wash. It's very comforting. That's the one I would recommend.



  22. #22

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    Default Re: A gentle fragrance to help heal - sorry sad

    Oh Hebe, I'm so sorry. I miscarried a baby in 2002, and I don't recall anything that could console me. I do find simple rose fragrances to calming and restful, and beautiful. My favorite rose is Penhaligon's Elisabethan Rose--it has a bright citrus top that may be uplifting for you, when you feel ready for it. A more simple rose is C&E Evelyn Rose. It's very calm and serene, which may help you a bit. You have all my sympathy.

  23. #23

    Default Re: A gentle fragrance to help heal - sorry sad

    I'm so sorry for your loss

  24. #24

    Default Re: A gentle fragrance to help heal - sorry sad

    Hebe I do sympathise and send you loving wishes in your time of
    great sadness.
    The Healing Garden do a few lovely scents that may help you including:
    Lavendersensations and Mandarinsensations.
    I also had a pillow spray from them that contained camomile and was very
    soothing.
    Be gentle with yourself!

  25. #25

    Default Re: A gentle fragrance to help heal - sorry sad

    O dear Hebe, I'm sending you and Mr. Hebe lots of hugs and love for your loss.

    I miscarried 5 times, and what helped me best were the most simple fragrances. I would suggest anything light with one flower or clean scents.
    Some books are undeservedly forgotten, none are undeservedly remembered - W.H. Auden

  26. #26

    Default Re: A gentle fragrance to help heal - sorry sad

    Hebe; we don't know one another as I'm still new here, but very sorry to hear of your sadness all the same. All the best.

  27. #27

    Default Re: A gentle fragrance to help heal - sorry sad

    I am so sorry for your loss.

    I was thinking of Philosophy, they do a few which are quite soft and light.
    DONNA

  28. #28

    Default Re: A gentle fragrance to help heal - sorry sad

    I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. I agree with simple scents. I recommend Penhaligon's Bluebell, which is lovely, fresh and uplifting. It's always been a happy scent for me.

    I hope whatever you choose helps.

  29. #29

    Default Re: A gentle fragrance to help heal - sorry sad

    I had that happen twice. And the worst part is, I felt like I failed those little babies.

    Someday, my reward will be to find out why.

    If it offers any hope, I did bear three healthy children, too.

    I agree, lemon and lavendar. I do not possess any. Can anyone send her samples?

  30. #30

    Default Re: A gentle fragrance to help heal - sorry sad

    Hebe, I'm so sorry!I had that happen twice and now, I am a proud mother of a beautiful, 3 year old girl!
    Lots of hugs from me to you!

    At the time, I didn't wear anything just because I wanted to avoid having bad associations.

    Time is the best remedy, having friends and family around is a great support, also. You have ours, anyway! Good luck!
    “I am an excitable person who only understands life lyrically, musically, in whom feelings are much stronger as reason. I am so thirsty for the marvelous that only the marvelous has power over me. Anything I can not transform into something marvelous, I let go. Reality doesn't impress me. I only believe in intoxication, in ecstasy, and when ordinary life shackles me, I escape, one way or another. No more walls.”-Anais Nin

  31. #31

    Default Re: A gentle fragrance to help heal - sorry sad

    Purplebird, I know what you mean. I had a really bad cold just before I found out I was pregnant, and of course I am wondering if the Lemsips were to blame, or the very occcasional hot whisky. I think the reality probably is that it was nothing to do with anything that I did or didn't do, but part of me still keeps dredging for a reason. I am so very reassured by all of you who have had the strength to carry on and will keep that in my heart. Thank you. Women must be so amazingly strong to go through this multiple times.

    Restlesssoul, I know this is daft, but I don't want the fact of being scent-free to be associated with this memory either, if that makes sense? I feel slightly lost without a scent, less grounded, and this is a time when I need to feel grounded.

    My boss is being very sympathetic and does not want me to go back to work yet. Possibly because I burst into tears on the phone. The physical symptoms are starting to ease off a bit so I may try a small shopping trip in the next couple of days, I haven't really been out since Thursday apart from a very numb trip to the supermarket on Saturday morning. In the meantime, I am wearing Bois Farine today, and finding it very comforting. I'm very much liking the idea of a simple rose - I sampled Bvlgari Rose Essentielle at the airport last year and remember it being delectable, although it did get swamped by the other scents I was trying.

    I remember recieving the citrus recommendation when my Grandma died, and wound up with Eau de Merveilles, which was perfect, but I could no longer bring myself to wear it after the funeral and gave it away. I guess this time I won't get the closure of a funeral, hopefully there will always be a little part of my child's essence still in me.
    Last edited by Hebe; 19th February 2007 at 05:07 PM.

  32. #32

    Default Re: A gentle fragrance to help heal - sorry sad

    Yes, dearest Hebe, I guess you always will remember this little, little child with a part of your hart, no matter how many years that will pass on. Why not choose a perfume to honor this little, little baby...? And use the perfume whenever you long for the little one.
    Last edited by Margareta; 19th February 2007 at 05:43 PM.
    Faves right now: Chanel No 19, Stella Rose Absolute, L´Heure Bleu, Elixir de Merveilles, Samsara.

  33. #33

    Default Re: A gentle fragrance to help heal - sorry sad

    We went into Bath today and had a very gentle morning of walking and shopping. I've bought Bvlgari Voile de Jasmine which is perfect, and must be the lightest tenderest fragrance I've ever encountered. I really liked the Rose Essentielle too, but it had a slight sharpness on me. The drydown is gorgeous though.

    Feeling a bit better today. Thank you all so much for your support and recommendations, I will be saving this thread to re-read.

  34. #34

    Default Re: A gentle fragrance to help heal - sorry sad

    Congratulations to your choice. A truly beautiful perfume. Softly caressing and calming.

    Wishing you all the best, dear!
    "They who dream by day are cognizant of many things which escape those who dream only by night."
    Edgar Allan Poe

    http://perfumum.blogspot.com/

  35. #35

    Default Re: A gentle fragrance to help heal - sorry sad

    So sorry for your loss, Hebe.

    The Origins Ginger line may be both comforting and energizing.

  36. #36

    Default Re: A gentle fragrance to help heal - sorry sad

    I am real sorry to hear about you loss, my condolences.

    I am not sure what to recomend here, i can't even imagine going through something like that, but i am glad you have gotten many responses on that already.

  37. #37

    Default My heart goes out to you

    I cannot imagine what you are going through, but wish I could suggest something that might help at this time.

    I add my voice to the small group recommending Jicky. I find it has a non-intrusive creaminess that takes the harsh edge off shattered emotions, and makes it easier to come to terms with them and their cause.

  38. #38

    Default Re: A gentle fragrance to help heal - sorry sad

    Quote Originally Posted by Hebe
    We went into Bath today and had a very gentle morning of walking and shopping. I've bought Bvlgari Voile de Jasmine which is perfect, and must be the lightest tenderest fragrance I've ever encountered. I really liked the Rose Essentielle too, but it had a slight sharpness on me. The drydown is gorgeous though.

    Feeling a bit better today. Thank you all so much for your support and recommendations, I will be saving this thread to re-read.
    Glad to hear you found a comforting fragrance. The Jasmine sounds perfect. If it is any comfort, I truly believe that there is a higher wisdom at work that weaves together the tragedies with the joys and makes us complete. sorry if that sounds too philosophical to you. had some shares of sad times myself.
    best.
    R
    "Like a lobster with a pearl in its claw, the beet held the jasmine firmly without crushing or obscuring it. Beet lifted jasmine, the way a bullnecked partner lifts a ballerina, and the pair came on stage on citron's fluty cue. As if jasmine were a collection of beautiful paintings, beet hung it in the galleries of the nose, insured it against fire or theft, threw a party to celebrate it. Citron mailed the invitations." Jitterbug Perfume by Tom Robbins p. 189

    What I am loving right now: Shalimar vintage extrait, Chanel Bois des Iles, Chanel no. 22, Le Labo Iris 39, Guerlain Iris Ganache

  39. #39

    Default Re: A gentle fragrance to help heal - sorry sad

    Quote Originally Posted by rtamara41
    Glad to hear you found a comforting fragrance. The Jasmine sounds perfect. If it is any comfort, I truly believe that there is a higher wisdom at work that weaves together the tragedies with the joys and makes us complete. sorry if that sounds too philosophical to you. had some shares of sad times myself.
    best.
    R
    I'm sorry for your sad times too. Thank you for the wise words, very nicely put.

    Thank you to everyonefor taking the time and thought to post here. I have never smelled Jicky but will seek it out now. I'm also now craving a ginger bath melt - can't remember if it is Origins or Molton Brown, but thank you Kotori.

    I'm feeling much better now during the day, still getting nightmares but I think they will fade with time. The Voile de Jasmin is perfect, and Bois Farine arrived today so I will try a small spray of that. Thank you again for sharing your experiences and your thoughts - I really do appreciate them all.

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