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  1. #1

    Default I am quitting fragrances/I might have a problem

    Ok, I'll be one of the first to post my problem. I think I might have beginning stages of overindulging in fragrances, or anything else, just because I have caught myself going to stores like TJMaxx and Ross after work and telling myself that I'm just "getting out of the house", when really i'm looking for a new fragrance for myself. This has happened about three times in the past week, and I also have been frantically ordering fragrances online as well. I went from being a guy that wore cologne a couple times a week and only owning two bottles of cologne, Nautica Blue and C.O. Bigelow Elixir Green, to having a collection of 11 different scents in less than two weeks. I know 11 bottles seems measly to a lot of you guys (I've seen the pictures of your wardrobes...WOW!) but I'm already wondering how I'm going to use it all up. I've also been using low priced scents as my motive to buy (Oh it's only $15), but that $10 dollars turns into 25 dollars, then 40 dollars, then 65 dollars, and so on.

    I think this may be caused by insecurity of myself due to a recent breakup of my girlfriend of over 3 1/2 years. The reason I say this is because we split up before, and I went into this DVD buying frenzy, and I now have a modest collection of movies, and when we got back together I stopped spending so much. I'm probably trying to fill that hole in my life again with spending, and all it's doing is hurting the wallet. Hell, I'm contemplating going to the drugstore right now and buying a bottle of Old Spice just to "curb" my urge to spend. It's like i recognize my problem but I don't know what to do about it.

    Anyways, does anyone have suggestions for me, or have a somewhat similar situation, or just want to talk?
    Last edited by Nugget359; 13th November 2007 at 01:30 AM.

  2. #2

    Default Re: I might have a problem

    Sounds to me like you are doing exactly as you describe, making yourself feel better by purchasing nice things for yourself. The problem is that the buzz it gives is short lived and you soon want more. Sounds like you have something of an addictive streak in your personality (like me). I think you should look at it from two angles: 1) what are the real issues in my life and how can I positively address them? (maybe get out and meet new people, see old friends, go to the cinema, whatever..???) 2) what harm is the activity I am distracting myself with actually doing me? - Buying fragrances is much less harmful than drinking, taking drugs, and lots of other things you could do. The only real harm is to your finances - you need to control this by setting limits and sticking to them. make them realistic, not too harsh.

    You may also find that you can find another distraction which takes you mind off -the frags; a computer game? Read a book? Go for a walk? Look for some genuineness and depth....

    Hope this helps a little.
    "Donít try to be original. Be simple. Be good technically, and if there is something in you, it will come out. Ē - Henri Matisse.

    "Wear R de Capucci" - Hirch Duckfinder

    reviews

  3. #3

    Default Re: I might have a problem

    Nugget,
    First of all, welcome! I'll second my friend Hirch's sensible thoughts.

    I would also add that despite your concerns, I think you have a better grasp of what's motivating you than many people do, and that's impressive! For some reason, many people have no ability for introspection. In any case, a break-up can hurt like hell for a long time, and cause you to do many things, negative or positive.

    It's tricky asking a question like that here because we are all addicted to varying degrees, and we sort of don't want to think about it. I've got the "milder version" - though I have a somewhat good-sized collection, I'm definitely an amateur compared to other people here, like you were saying.

    I have a bunch of things that I do to sublimate (or displace) my addictive thoughts. Like Hirch, I play the guitar all the time. I also exercise a lot. But obviously those won't necessarily work for you. From what you've said, I'll guess that contact with people is important to you, and maybe pursuing that might be worthwhile. Maybe a group with common interests, places to meet new friends, and so on.

    If you still have the need for scents... trading has slaked a lot of my thirst, I get new stuff, and only pay postage. And decants from members can be more economical. Hope this helps. PM me if you want to chat more about it.

    Best, Dave

  4. #4
    Scentronic's Avatar
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    Default Re: I might have a problem

    Fragrances, music, clothing, video games...
    Lately I've been wearing:
    Windsor, Bois de Santal, Original Santal, Elixir, Douro, Endymion, Reflection, Arcus, Marwah

  5. #5

    Default Re: I might have a problem

    Quote Originally Posted by hirch_duckfinder View Post
    You may also find that you can find another distraction which takes you mind off -the frags; a computer game? Read a book? Go for a walk? Look for some genuineness and depth....
    Yeah, I was actually going to the gym for about a week, I managed to acquire a guest pass there and was running, swimming, lifting weights and stuff. However, it costs a lot of money to actually buy a membership there.

    And I totally agree with the making myself feel better by purchasing nice things for myself. I just get this random urge to spend money, and then I once I do, I'm happy that I got whatever I go (new frag, whatever) but I'm still mad at myself for spending money.

    The gym's probably one of the best things for me right now because I feel good after getting out and feel healthy, but I just have to save up for a membership. In the meantime I'll probably be reading books and taking my dog out to the park and stuff to keep myself busy.

    Thanks for the welcome and the humble advice, I really appreciate it.

  6. #6

    Default Re: I might have a problem

    Quote Originally Posted by Nugget359 View Post
    The gym's probably one of the best things for me right now because I feel good after getting out and feel healthy, but I just have to save up for a membership. In the meantime I'll probably be reading books and taking my dog out to the park and stuff to keep myself busy.
    Hi N,
    Right, gyms are expensive, especially in big urban areas. I was a gym member for years, and then after getting certified as a personal trainer, oddly enough, I dumped my gym membership and exercise at home now. So there are ways to do that.

    But it all depends on how you're motivated. I know that some people need the gym atmosphere with all the equipment and other people around. It's motivating to try to impress the hot woman over there. But if you think home training might work for you, PM me and I'll give you some ideas.

    Cheers, D

  7. #7

    Default Re: I might have a problem

    Yeah, I actually tried home training but it just wasn't the thing for me. I really did prefer the gym atmosphere, and besides, they have an indoor swimming pool! I love being able to swim in the middle of December!

    Currently it would cost about $150 to start my membership, and then $39 a month to be a member. But my friend said that he was able to start for just $39 when they were having a sale.

    Thanks again guys

  8. #8

    Default Re: I might have a problem

    Yeah, my gym is £47.75 a month and it's just a local authority gym. I don't have much option though - my flat is one room, of which most space is taken up by my bed and computer desk. I have enough room to do push-ups, and I stuck up a chinning bar (although I can only manage 3 chins tops at the moment), but that's it really. I need to get to the gym so I can do my deadlifts, benching, dips, OHPs etc.

  9. #9

    Default Re: I might have a problem

    Buy samples or decants, then you can explore new scents without dropping a bunch of money on full size bottles all at once. I like swimming, too, but I do yoga at home, which really helps balance the emotions as well as tone the body. You could try that, in addition to whatever else you're doing. Get some dvd's and work out along with them. Reading is good, too, go find yourself a fascinating paperback or three.

  10. #10

    Default Re: I might have a problem

    My advice to you is to drink! J/K...no don't drink, but DO steer away from the Creed Counters, Creeds cost $200+ at stores! Now that is an expensive habit I am trying to break!

  11. #11

    Default Re: I might have a problem

    Quote Originally Posted by Indiscreet View Post
    Yeah, my gym is £47.75 a month and it's just a local authority gym. I don't have much option though - my flat is one room, of which most space is taken up by my bed and computer desk. I have enough room to do push-ups, and I stuck up a chinning bar (although I can only manage 3 chins tops at the moment), but that's it really. I need to get to the gym so I can do my deadlifts, benching, dips, OHPs etc.
    Nice program, Indiscreet!
    Those lifts are tough, but very beneficial - so many gym members waste time on cute little exercises, and then they wonder why nothing's happening to their body!

    And 3 chins is nothing to sneeze at! OHP - overhead presses? Very nice! At first I was thnking One Hand Pullups, which I haven't achieved yet. My latest ideas of fun have been one-leg-squats and Turkish get-ups. I know you can do it!!!! You rule!!

    Though I love training at home, I actually do miss going to the gym. Except for the small group of morons that seem to be there no matter where you go.

    Ooops, I guess I hijacked the topic... sorry!

  12. #12

    Default Re: I might have a problem

    I went through a phase very similar to yours when I lived abroad for about a half year awhile back. I was separated from basically everyone in my life - family, girlfriend, friends - except for this guy I knew already but didn't like much. Calls back home cost about $50/hour. Like you, I started to spend more money than I should have to fill the gap, but ALSO like you, I realized what was going on, and that's the first step in fixing things.

    Like many here, I found that exercise was the most viable cure, with reading being a close second. Both are inexpensive, and I say that reading is better than DVDs or music because one good book can last weeks, so you sort of automatically control how much you spend on them. DVDs and music aren't like this.

    Exercise is a great place to start, but I say find an activity that's both physically challenging and meaningful in some way. When you integrate exercise with FUN instead of working out for working out's sake, you keep with it longer. The gym basically serves as a place I grudgingly go to stay fit enough to do the things I actually love. It isn't so much an end in itself, but it does make me feel much better if I have no time for nothing better. But some thrive there!

    The very act of being outdoors is positive for me. Something like a bike is a big expense, but after you purchase it, it's like getting free therapy any time. I actually have a routine now: when I feel like I'm about to make a rash purchase that's more "filler" than worthy investment, there's nothing like gasping for air for 3 hours at 10,000 feet to get my priorities straight.

    I would say that the absolute MOST therapeutic activity is outdoor rock climbing, but this is a very seasonal sport, and it's often hard to find people with the gear and expertise to be a partner. But if you're looking a sport to get into that makes you feel absolutely at peace with yourself, the world, etc, I suggest you find a way to try it. Many claim similar effects from practicing yoga.

    But really it's whatever works for you. Just test out some various activities that are fulfilling but really have nothing to do with money. Something as simple as a long, contemplative walk is sometimes all it takes.
    "It's not what you look like when you're doing what you're doing; it's what you're doing when you're doing what you look like you're doing."

  13. #13

    Default Re: I might have a problem

    Hey, just wanted to check in and say thanks for all of the great insight.

    While I haven't really had time to sit down and read due to my homework overload, I have gotten out with the dog and taken him running (Lol imagine a 6'0" 200lb guy jogging with a 10lb miniature pinscher), and I do notice simple walks do get my mind off of things and I feel a lot better afterwards. I also might try taking the ol' bike out for a spin, I never thought to do that. I will, however, be taking the basketball down to the courts and shooting some hoops.

    Anyways, thanks again for all of your help and support. It really means a lot to me.
    Fragrance.

  14. #14

    Default Re: I am quitting fragrances/I might have a problem

    Ok so I haven't posted in this thread for a while, so update: I'm quitting fragrances. I need to put my money towards something better than just fragrances. Like college. Plus the person I am seeing doesn't even like my cologne, so I'd rather not wear it if it's just repelling people.

    I am selling all of my fragrances. If you want to check them out, look up my seller name on eBay: nugget0227. I don't have that much in GREAT fragrances, but I think I have a decent collection up for sale. Here's the URL: http://search.ebay.com/_W0QQsassZnugget0227

    However I will be keeping my Halston Unbound, my Old Spice, and my A*men decant. I might just buy Mugler cologne too, as I have heard it is the king(queen?) of fresh and inoffensive. But that's what my wardrobe will consist of.

    Thanks for the support guys, it was fun collecting, smelling and learning about the different fragrances. Unfortunately I can't afford this hobby and all I want to do is spend!! I'll probably still hang around this website though. You never know when I'll get bored of what I have in my collection!
    Last edited by Nugget359; 12th December 2007 at 11:27 PM.
    Fragrance.

  15. #15

    Default Re: I am quitting fragrances/I might have a problem

    Good luck. Probably best if you don't hang around here though, it "normalises" fragrance obsession and if you are moving on, it may not help.
    You are always welcome though .
    "Donít try to be original. Be simple. Be good technically, and if there is something in you, it will come out. Ē - Henri Matisse.

    "Wear R de Capucci" - Hirch Duckfinder

    reviews

  16. #16

    Default Re: I am quitting fragrances/I might have a problem

    Yeah I know I sometimes look at the "Post a picture of your scents" threads and am thinking, "Hmm that would be kinda cool to have that kind of collection..." Then I have to slap some sense into myself! Lol!
    Fragrance.

  17. #17

    Default Re: I am quitting fragrances/I might have a problem

    I think one difficult thing about liking perfume is that once you have tried some of the niche, higher-end fragrances, you start to think they are the only scents you can enjoy. I would love to own some bottles of the samples I love made by L'Artisan, Malle, etc. but they just do not fit into my budget. I have learned to try some of the other perfume/colognes that are more mainstream but also can be quite delicious. I had a great time with a bunch of minis that I bought quite cheaply on Ebay. It is very hard for me at this time of year because I work so hard and feel as if I deserve to buy perfume but I have to remember it's just perfume and cannot in and of itself make me feel better about anything.

  18. #18

    Talking Re: I might have a problem

    Quote Originally Posted by Maz24 View Post
    My advice to you is to drink! J/K...no don't drink, but DO steer away from the Creed Counters, Creeds cost $200+ at stores! Now that is an expensive habit I am trying to break!
    Yes, Oliver has taken me hostage LOL

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