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  1. #1

    Default What is it with younger people and compliments!!!!

    So, maybe I'm just looking for compliments too much? I NEVER hear them from younger people. I'm pretty sure its not because my fragrance choices are bad, or I'm over applying. My honest assumption is people in my age group (20-25ish) just don't compliment. Whats w/ that, because I (23) compliment both men/women if they smell good!
    Case n' point. Me and the wife were entertaining guest this past weekend. We have an apartment and I felt bold enough to wear Angel A*Men. Now our apartment is not a castle, so I was in petty close proximity to everyone.
    NOT A SINGLE COMMENT.
    I wear all sorts of nice stuff to work (Narciso Rodriguez, T'erre, et...), again with people in my age group, and NADA!

    But as soon as I have an occasion when I'm around older folks, 30+, I hear "you smell great, what is that?"

    What is it w/ younger people? Anyone else notice this?
    Last edited by md1grwl; 20th November 2007 at 12:46 PM.

  2. #2

    Default Re: What is it with younger people and compliments!!!!

    I think it's because of some politically correct idea that a compliment may "offend" someone. I once heard at a sexual harassment seminar some years back that it's wrong to say "you look nice wearing those clothes" but it's correct to say "those clothes look nice on you." That's really sad. That's how low out culture has sunk.

    I have received compliments from younger females, however. There is a young mailroom girl here at work that told me how nice I smelled when i wore LI'nstant De Guerlain PH.
    Last edited by MikeFromManhattan; 20th November 2007 at 12:47 PM.

  3. #3

    Default Re: What is it with younger people and compliments!!!!

    Self-confidence also comes into play and that does take some years to fully develop...

  4. #4

    Default Re: What is it with younger people and compliments!!!!

    I find the same thing... I'm 22 and I always compliment someone who smells good regardless of their sex.. I spend so much time with uni mates at such close proximities, and I rarely get compliments.. If I do, they would only be with really close people, that I've known at least more than 5 years..

    Trebor has a point as well, I don't think everyone can confidently just say "Hey you smell nice, what's that you're wearing..?" I think with girls they tend to be a bit more open about it, but with some guys its as if they're worried their b*lls might fall off as soon as they say it.. Especially if they themselves don't use fragrances..
    In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds it's morning, and is refreshed. -Kahlil Gibran

    Current Favourites: Mandarine by Il Profvmo, Sculpture Homme by Nikos

  5. #5

    Default Re: What is it with younger people and compliments!!!!

    perhaps because we are scentophiles, we notice and therefore comment/compliment based on smell. another guy/girl might compliment you on your car, or on a book you're reading on the train, or whatever.

    that said, i think it's more a social skills thing. i'm confident enough to say to someone i've never met 'hey, that smells good - what is it you're wearing?', where someone else might find that idea a little daunting. also, complimenting members of the opposite sex... i guess in some cases people may be concerned that it would seem as though you were hitting on them.

    anyway, that's a few ideas!

    if i cared about compliments, i'd wear polo double black all day long, as every single time i wear it i get serveral compliments, exclusively from females. luckly for the rest of my wardrobe, i wear cologne for my own nose, and everyone elses can go to hell
    current favourites: guerlain vetiver, trumper eucris, adp colonia
    latest swag: cdg man2, lolita lempicka au masculin
    next buys: keiko mecheri oliban, michael by michael kors

  6. #6

    Default Re: What is it with younger people and compliments!!!!

    I think it is because younger people are for the most part really self absorbed. I am 24 and most of the people I know my age are so much more into trying to look so cool, that they feel giving someone else a compliment will take away something from themselves and add to their insecurity. Older and more mature people are comfortable with themselves and can freely give compliments knowing that it does not take anything away from themselves to give other people a nice compliment.

    Just my two cents, take them for what they are worth.

  7. #7
    beachroses's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is it with younger people and compliments!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by The Duke View Post
    I think it is because younger people are for the most part really self absorbed. I am 24 and most of the people I know my age are so much more into trying to look so cool, that they feel giving someone else a compliment will take away something from themselves and add to their insecurity. Older and more mature people are comfortable with themselves and can freely give compliments knowing that it does not take anything away from themselves to give other people a nice compliment.

    Just my two cents, take them for what they are worth.
    That was worth a million, it is true that narcissism is epidemic among many young people in this country, but you all aren't suffering from personality disorders. Just avoid them, they are idiots. YOU are a smart guy, stay that way!!

  8. #8

    Default Re: What is it with younger people and compliments!!!!

    The Duke is on the money.

    It takes maturity and selflessness to freely compliment peers.

  9. #9

    Default Re: What is it with younger people and compliments!!!!

    i got a + for paco rabanne black xs tonight
    "You smell kinda pretty! Wanna Smell me ?"
    - Johnny Bravo

    Wardrobe

  10. #10

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    Default Re: What is it with younger people and compliments!!!!

    That's true, mostly, actually. I am only 22 years old and therefore have a decent amount of exposure to same-aged people... I've NEVER been complimented on my fragrance...in a random scenario, classmate, wherever. That being said, while it would be nice.... it isn't why I'm wearing them, so that doesn't bother me.

    The above-poster who noted that self confidence doesnt come easily at an early age... is probably on the money, and, the immaturity I mean, there are a lot of reasons why but...

    just some more experience.

  11. #11

    Default Re: What is it with younger people and compliments!!!!

    They may really like the fragrance and feel like giving a compliment, but do not deliver it out of fear that it might be taken the wrong way ... ie. screwing up the delivery. So I agree with others that its a lack of confidence and social skills, which comes with time and experience.
    Last edited by laroche; 20th November 2007 at 05:27 PM.

  12. #12

    Default Re: What is it with younger people and compliments!!!!

    It seems like there are a lot of young people on Basenotes, in the early 20s. I'm surprised by this many young people, as it's hard to maintain a wardrobe at our age!

  13. #13

    Default Re: What is it with younger people and compliments!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by somethinpositiv View Post
    It seems like there are a lot of young people on Basenotes, in the early 20s. I'm surprised by this many young people, as it's hard to maintain a wardrobe at our age!

    When i was young, I was happy to be able to have one signature fragrance and all the bath products that went with it. And that cost a lot!

  14. #14

    Default Re: What is it with younger people and compliments!!!!

    I'm 19.

    I only gave a compliment once to a friend that he smelled good.
    And that was when I was drunk. I still regret it.
    It's just not done between real men as it's percepted as gay.
    Now I didn't say gays are no real men.
    I'm talking about what a real men was or should be.

    Lack of confidence and social skills? Totally not.
    It's just guys being guys, acting like what a guy should be.
    Last edited by Suppressor; 20th November 2007 at 08:54 PM.

  15. #15

    Default Re: What is it with younger people and compliments!!!!

    It is my intent to be honest and sincere, and not to offend.

    I simply do not believe that young people today are as polite, thoughtful or well-bred as were previous generations. I am not THAT much older (I am one of the very last of the "Baby Boomers"), but I certainly notice a difference!

    And the lack of proper upbringing certainly shows! Just look at the likes of Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan et al. Actually, YOU look at them . . . I prefer NOT to!

    I guess all of that gangsta rap and dime-store perfume has taken its toll!

  16. #16

    Default Re: What is it with younger people and compliments!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by JBL View Post
    I'm 19.

    I only gave a compliment once to a friend that he smelled good.
    And that was when I was drunk. I still regret it.
    It's just not done between real men as it's percepted as gay.
    Now I didn't say gays are no real men.
    I'm talking about what a real men was or should be.

    Lack of confidence and social skills? Totally not.
    It's just guys being guys, acting like what a guy should be.
    Oooooooh, pleeeeeeeeeeeeease! [his pink feather boa falls to the floor, while shaking his head in disbelief]

  17. #17

    echerub's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is it with younger people and compliments!!!!

    Real men don't compliment one another? I beg to differ. A "real man", of any orientation, has confidence in himself and, if he is a personable one, has no problems complimenting another man.

    I rarely get any comments about the fragrances I wear, from anyone of any age, so I can't say from personal experience whether one age group compliments more or less than another.
    Where once there was no scents to it all, now the world opens before me!

  18. #18

    Default Re: What is it with younger people and compliments!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by echerub View Post
    Real men don't compliment one another? I beg to differ. A "real man", of any orientation, has confidence in himself and, if he is a personable one, has no problems complimenting another man.

    I rarely get any comments about the fragrances I wear, from anyone of any age, so I can't say from personal experience whether one age group compliments more or less than another.
    I can believe it's done in some cultures. Like let's say a modern city filled with mega trendy rich people.

    Or for example in office environments, between fashion freaks, feminized men, drag queens... okay okay kidding about the last one.
    Last edited by Suppressor; 20th November 2007 at 09:20 PM.

  19. #19

    Default Re: What is it with younger people and compliments!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by echerub View Post
    Real men don't compliment one another? I beg to differ. A "real man", of any orientation, has confidence in himself and, if he is a personable one, has no problems complimenting another man.

    I rarely get any comments about the fragrances I wear, from anyone of any age, so I can't say from personal experience whether one age group compliments more or less than another.
    Yes, but YOU live in CANADA, where there are a lot more homosexual people and they have things like same-sex marriage! People are much more casual about these types of things in Canada than they are in most of the rest of the world.

  20. #20

    Default Re: What is it with younger people and compliments!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Trebor View Post
    Oooooooh, pleeeeeeeeeeeeease! [his pink feather boa falls to the floor, while shaking his head in disbelief]
    LOL!!!

  21. #21

    Default Re: What is it with younger people and compliments!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by JBL View Post
    I'm 19.

    I only gave a compliment once to a friend that he smelled good.
    And that was when I was drunk. I still regret it.
    It's just not done between real men as it's percepted as gay.
    Now I didn't say gays are no real men.
    I'm talking about what a real men was or should be.

    Lack of confidence and social skills? Totally not.
    It's just guys being guys, acting like what a guy should be.
    Funny you should say that, I had a friend who almost always wore cologne when we went out and I always complimented him. It was no big deal.

    Then again, we would always joke around as if we WERE gay. Like sit on each others laps, say dirty things to each other to gross other people out... Man that was fun.

    However I have never received a compliment that I did not ask for. And all I've ever gotten was a "That's nice", a "that smells good", and an "it's ok".
    Last edited by Nugget359; 20th November 2007 at 10:51 PM.
    Fragrance.

  22. #22

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    Default Re: What is it with younger people and compliments!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by The Duke View Post
    I think it is because younger people are for the most part really self absorbed. I am 24 and most of the people I know my age are so much more into trying to look so cool, that they feel giving someone else a compliment will take away something from themselves and add to their insecurity. Older and more mature people are comfortable with themselves and can freely give compliments knowing that it does not take anything away from themselves to give other people a nice compliment.

    Just my two cents, take them for what they are worth.

    BINGO

  23. #23

    echerub's Avatar
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    Default Re: What is it with younger people and compliments!!!!

    Canada or not, big city or not, giving a compliment also depends on how you say it. Don't fawn over the person, don't gush about it, it's just a statement as a matter of fact. How would it be any different from complimenting the guy on his clothing?

    "Hey, the fragrance you're wearing smells good. What is it?", I would posit, is fine anywhere. "Oh my goodness, you smell *divine*!" ... well, that might raise an eyebrow depending on where you are. "Mmmmm.... you smell goooood".. well... I don't recommend that with a regular friend or a stranger.

    It's a compliment about something the person has chosen. Deliver it like you would any other kind of compliment.
    Where once there was no scents to it all, now the world opens before me!

  24. #24

    Default Re: What is it with younger people and compliments!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by The Duke View Post
    I think it is because younger people are for the most part really self absorbed. I am 24 and most of the people I know my age are so much more into trying to look so cool, that they feel giving someone else a compliment will take away something from themselves and add to their insecurity. Older and more mature people are comfortable with themselves and can freely give compliments knowing that it does not take anything away from themselves to give other people a nice compliment.

    Just my two cents, take them for what they are worth.
    I'll bet that you would also notice that people of your age never apologise for the same reason.

    (This seems one of the curses of the Age to me: people never have the balls to just apologise.)
    There are people to whom the truth of language does not matter they are known as liars.

  25. #25

    Default Re: What is it with younger people and compliments!!!!

    I apologize though. And to top it off, I apologize to you for the people who don't have the balls to apologize for the things that they should apologize for.

    :P
    Fragrance.

  26. #26

    Default Re: What is it with younger people and compliments!!!!

    I just turned 22 and I get complimented almost daily from people I'm around. In school, work, parties.. wherever really. Maybe it's just the way the scent projects on my skin, because now that I think about it, I think I've been asked about every fragrance in my wardrobe..

  27. #27

    Default Re: What is it with younger people and compliments!!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Nugget359 View Post
    I apologize though. And to top it off, I apologize to you for the people who don't have the balls to apologize for the things that they should apologize for.

    :P
    well………………ok then.………………apology accepted!

    :: mumbles fine young man, that! Goes back to raking up leaves, shooing kids away from topiary llamas.. ::
    Last edited by Eluard; 21st November 2007 at 03:12 AM.
    There are people to whom the truth of language does not matter they are known as liars.

  28. #28
    _R$_'s Avatar
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    Default Re: What is it with younger people and compliments!!!!

    Guys. Do not, under any circumstances EVER compliment another man on his fragrance. Why? Well, not only will your balls fall off, but women will avoid your eyes like the clap-happy hobo down the street, men from then on will know you are gay, and god will kill ten kittens. Just don't do it.

    I mostly only get complimented by girls, but on occasion, I will be complimented by guys, usually on something like Green Irish Tweed.

    I compliment mostly men on their fragrance choices, but I usually lead it with "Are you wearing _________?" and then compliment them.

    And a puppy for good measure.
    - Rich
    As always, disregard most of what I say. It's not worth your heart health to actually worry about what a 23 year old guy from Kansas thinks. Even if he is really ridiculously good looking.

  29. #29

    Default Re: What is it with younger people and compliments!!!!

    My opinion is that if you're confident enough about your masculinity, you shouldn't worry about how something you said like complimenting someone will make women avoid you, be less attracted to you or make anyone think you're gay..
    My two cents remains to be if someone made the effort to smell nice (be it for themselves or otherwise), why not let them know..? Guy or girl, gay, straight or bi.. Why segregate who you compliment..?
    In the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures. For in the dew of little things the heart finds it's morning, and is refreshed. -Kahlil Gibran

    Current Favourites: Mandarine by Il Profvmo, Sculpture Homme by Nikos

  30. #30

    Default Re: What is it with younger people and compliments!!!!

    It's funny how so many men fail to realize that the confidence required to openly compliment another man on his choice of scent is the same confidence that will attract women, not repel them.

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