When do YOU compliment?

[Carlos]

All of the compliment threads floating up the forum today brought something to mind: we always seem to be fishing for compliments but we never seem to talk about giving compliments. So to start the new year with a fresh perspective:

1. When do you usually find yourself complimenting someone's fragrance?

2. What kind of fragrances get your compliments?

3. What do you dislike on other people?

4. Do you give same-sex compliments?

Thinking about it, I only compliment women who I find physically attractive. A nice fragrance on a pretty girl adds to her appeal, but it would never makes someone I am not otherwise attracted to suddenly desireable. (Kind of puts the whole idea of "babe magnet" fragrances to rest.)

And to be truthful, I only find myself complimenting women on modern spicy fruit compote frags and fresh frags: VS Very Sexy (mostly), A+F Women.

Gourmands and orientals generally make me recoil in horror. Sugar bombs and vanilla overloads make me walk in another direction. Nothing worse than a guy wearing A*Men - and on the subject of guys, I've never given a guy a compliment on a frag.

[sameasalways]

i compliment someone whenever they are not in a rush zipping away from my general location, or when their significant other is not with them if they are male. I woudln't want to piss anyone off. I compliment other than that aside, whenever they smell good. I compliment men and women. Don't know what kind of fragrances they are wearing or anything....not enough people around here bother to wear fragrance (I think anyway). The most popular thing here is Bath and Body works. Nothing wrong with that I guess but I am bored with them and lately every lotion I try there turns into the same exact drydown on me. Which 5 years ago I had no clue about dry-down or base or anything so atleast I'm learning something but my friends I am convinced think I am crazy. I have a tendency to compliment something that smelled very clean and fresh on a man, or very green/woodsy on a man. On a woman, I am more open to other smells. And it seems to vary more. On some women one smell can smell great on her and on another (like me) haha it smells horrid to me. Some women can pull off certain smells and it fits their personality and style more.
--------------------------------------
I didn't mean to overgeneralize but I guess for men, if they look very much like David Beckham, then they can pull off a slightly more sweeter fragrance. hahahha.......

[Buzzlepuff]

Any great fragrance that gets my notice deserves acknowledgement and I try to compliment. If I don't know what it is I ask. I guess I feel like I owe it to my own interest in the art of fragrance to acknowledge when someone else has put up something good.

I won't say anything if I sense that the person might mistake my words for a pick up line or flirtation. But, even then I may go ahead and compliment anyway.

For the most part I receive compliments from people who I am in close contact with in the public - in a line waitng for tickets - getting food - or out and about. They just blurt it out not thinking too much about it. If they don't want to appear to be flirting they will ask what it is as if they are interested in finding it. Normally the frags that get compliments have enough sillage so that they can be smelled from over a foot away - I often think its the sillage that gets the notice rather than the scent!?

[JaimeB]

An interesting topic, and an even more interesting proposition, of considering our own complimenting behavior!

1. I generally compliment people when I smell something I like, or something I don't know but like and want to know about.

2. I don't think it's easy to categorize the ones I compliment. I like different types of scents, and I may compliment anything that attracts my favorable notice.

3. I dislike strongly "aquatic" fragrances, and I dislike them more on men than on women. Some scents with well-balanced and well-blended aquatic notes are fine, and I have complimented on these. I don't think I have ever complimented anyone wearing a generic, mass-market fragrance. Of course, I do wear these myself from time to time, and sometimes people compliment me on them; but on other people, these seem to be "below the radar" for me.

4. I do give compliments to both sexes. I think with other men this is mostly because I find I am curious to know what other men wear. I have never had any other man think any compliment of mine was more than just that. I don't think that my compliments are ever "come-ons" or imply any ulterior motive. They are just compliments.

BTW, last night at New Year's Eve dinner with friends in a restaurant, the waiter asked me what I was wearing and said he liked it a lot. Go figure!

[JP1]

what was the frag you where wearing last night then?

[Indie_Guy]

I usually compliment a lady whether I'm attracted to her or not. Of course it's always easier when I am attracted to her-- because then the perfume is doing its job of turning me into a big softie... well maybe NOT a softie.

Anyway I've always found it to be fairly difficult to compliment another man on his fragrance-- because I've done it before and sometimes it goes over terrible-- they mistakenly think I'm gay and I'm hitting on them. It can be so freakin' awkward. I remember last year some guy was at my bar and I thought I smelled Guerlain Heritage and I asked him in the most casual way ever what cologne he was wearing-- and he freaked out. He acted like I broke some kind of code, like I struck up a conversation at a urinal. The guy had serious issues.

But sometimes you just have to know what a person is wearing. A lot of times, somebody will be wearing something completely terrible and I can't go to my grave without finding out just what awful crap it was that I was smelling. So sometimes i'll send explain my situation to a female friend and then send her over to do the dirty work. That usually works.

[JaimeB]

what was the frag you where wearing last night then?

Assuming this question was directed at me:

I was wearing (for the first time in public) Nasomatto Duro.

[linnea]

I won't say anything if I sense that the person might mistake my words for a pick up line or flirtation.

My thoughts exactly. If I can pinpoint the name of the fragrance, I'll usually ask, "Are you wearing ___?" I try to ask specific questions so it doesn't sound like I'm trying to pick them up, usually like, "Wow, I keep smelling a really great floral/gourmand/spicy/woodsy/<specific note>, what kind of perfume/cologne are you wearing?" I like to think that has less chance of backfiring or being interpreted as a come-on.

I remember last year some guy was at my bar and I thought I smelled Guerlain Heritage and I asked him in the most casual way ever what cologne he was wearing-- and he freaked out. He acted like I broke some kind of code, like I struck up a conversation at a urinal. The guy had serious issues.

But sometimes you just have to know what a person is wearing. A lot of times, somebody will be wearing something completely terrible and I can't go to my grave without finding out just what awful crap it was that I was smelling.

Jeez, that guy was just awful - talk about someone with severe doubts about his own masculinity. That's too bad. I keep forgetting that guys have more codified behavior than women do. I can go up to any woman and ask her what perfume she has on, and 99.9% of the time she will be happy to tell me what it is. Some people like to keep their signature scent a secret, in which case I will definitely just drop it and leave them to their illusion of mystery.

If someone is wearing too much perfume or cologne, I will usually not say anything because it's too awkward and I don't want to be a jerk. However, if the offender is particularly egregious and it's in a public place, I might say something like, "Oh god, the cleaning people must have used some sort of really cheap cleaner in here, something smells really strong and really awful." If a friend was wearing too much strong perfume, I would take a different tack and gently pull her aside and mention that I think she might be wearing a tad too much perfume.

With the "cleaning solution" defense at least I'm not specifically targeting anyone or unfairly singling them in front of an entire group. It gives the person a hint that they're overdoing it and I can always feign innocence if someone were to mention, "Oh gosh, I'm sorry, am I wearing too much Acqua di Gio?" I think it's rude for someone to douse themselves in cologne or perfume. Even expensive niche perfume smells bad if you wear too much.

However, it's always nice to smell tasteful fragrance. It gives me a chance to play detective and try to figure out what the scent is and what notes comprise the fragrance. And I also think that people enjoy smelling good, they work hard at choosing a great perfume, and everyone loves to receive a compliment. It is also interesting to see firsthand how much skin chemistry can change a scent.

I also think it's a great idea to wait until a person is separated from their SO before making a compliment. The last thing you need is some insecure person thinking that you're hitting up on her man, when in reality that couldn't be further from the truth.

[acceptfacts]

i wouldnt ask a a random male what fragrance he is wearing(maybe i would in the future, if the scent would force me to find it out for egotistical purposes).....typically i'll ask casual acquintances or co-workers "what cologne are you wearing?" and after being informed of what it is, i'll tell them it is good.

[sameasalways]

that suxs that you guyz have to worry about stuff like that. I've never had a woman react that way but I think we are less apt to do that.

[Lightninrod]

I remember last year some guy was at my bar and I thought I smelled Guerlain Heritage and I asked him in the most casual way ever what cologne he was wearing

IG: Maybe he just hates GH.......?

I compliment women and/or men I know on their fragrance and ask about it if I d/k it. Can't remember ever complimenting any stranger on their frag but I don't get out much...... Bass don't count right?



Dan

[SculptureOfSoul]

Unless it's someone I work with or see on a regular basis, I just don't care if they think my compliment is a come on or not. I almost complimented a woman who must have been 75-80 the other day at the market as she was wearing Poison which I've always liked, and strangely, it seemed to work well on her. Also, she wasn't wearing too much, I only got a whiff of it because she nearly backed into me by accident. I was just too caught off guard and by time I got a whiff and wanted to make a compliment she was on her way.

One time I had a man - a man's man kind of man (wow, too much use of the word man in this sentence :P) compliment me and then insist on knowing what I was wearing. Oddly, I was wearing Salvador Dali Ph. Heh, for those of you who remember, yes this was the incident where my new co-worker thought it was his cologne that was being complimented since all the man said was "Wow, someone smells really good." The new guy quickly offered his arm and said "Why thank you, that's Lucky You for Men" to which the man replied "No, no, that's not what smelled so good." I rather reservedly said "Perhaps it's me" and offered my arm and he smiled and nodded and then proceeded to ask about it. His wife came walking into the building and he then had her sniff me up and down as well. :P

[Indie_Guy]

Heh, for those of you who remember, yes this was the incident where my new co-worker thought it was his cologne that was being complimented since all the man said was "Wow, someone smells really good." The new guy quickly offered his arm and said "Why thank you, that's Lucky You for Men" to which the man replied "No, no, that's not what smelled so good." I rather reservedly said "Perhaps it's me" and offered my arm and he smiled and nodded and then proceeded to ask about it. His wife came walking into the building and he then had her sniff me up and down as well. :P

That story about the coworker and his Lucky You cologne/you and the Dali-- that MAY BE my favorite thing I've ever read on Basenotes. There was a real beauty to the way you worded it in your original story-- It almost seemed like a Biblical parable. I think it should be preserved and maybe inscribed somewhere of prominence with the words "go in peace" at the end. Maybe if the Gospel of Basenotes is ever written...

[mikeperez23]

I have no strategy for complimenting/not complimenting - when the opportunity arrives (a person who I know or don't know is near me and the smell GOOD) I compliment them..

I've found that most of the time I compliment someone, it's usually about a fragrance that I don't like on me (or don't like in general) but on that person it smells amazing.

My most recent compliment to a woman (complete stranger) outside of my gym at the smoothie bar was on her sotd which was Lolita Lempecka. I remember it smelling like an anise laden mess to me, but on her it smelled divine. She accepted the compliment with a smile and I left feeling much more informed about what LL smells like on the right person.

[SculptureOfSoul]

That story about the coworker and his Lucky You cologne/you and the Dali-- that MAY BE my favorite thing I've ever read on Basenotes. There was a real beauty to the way you worded it in your original story-- It almost seemed like a Biblical parable. I think it should be preserved and maybe inscribed somewhere of prominence with the words "go in peace" at the end. Maybe if the Gospel of Basenotes is ever written...

Wow, coming from you I am honored. I still want to get bitten, though, damnit!

[yoyaluvko]

I always give compliments when it's well deserved right there and then especially to those close to me, friends, and family. Words like, " Hey, u smell good!" or " Hmm, your perfume smells good on you". To casual friends and even strangers, I think they too, deserve to be complimented on. And I do, especially when they are wearing something I like and am not too familiar with. It's also a veiled way of asking what they are wearing coz sometimes they tell you. If not, well, find it the hard way. (he he) Btw, can we also give "un-compliments"? ...just an afterthought!

[Scentronic]

I rarely notice other guy's fragrances, but I wouldn't be opposed to giving a compliment for something I smelled and actually really liked. The Acqua di Gio in the Locker room doesn't really do the trick for me.

Usually, when I smell a fragrance on a female, it is either an inescapably youthful fruity scent like a Bath and Body Works body spray, or a muddy floral that smells decent but never noteworthy.

If I actually met a girl that was wearing Oud Violet, Love in White, Fleurs d'Oranger, or Un Lys, I'd actually put some effort into getting to know them. Please girls, give me something...anything, to work with here! (I don't care about your f*cking Coach bag and Chanel shades)

[Indie_Guy]

Please girls, give me something...anything, to work with here! (I don't care about your f*cking Coach bag and Chanel shades)

Amen to that!

Sometimes I feel like a moron. The other day one of my male coworkers walked by and he smelled pretty good-- a bit like Silver Mountain Water. I asked him what cologne he was wearing, and he said "none"-- it was his soap-- I think he said it was Dial for Men or something. That's the worst-- when you compliment someone of the same sex on their cologne and they're not wearing any. It leaves kind of a creepy feeling hanging in the air... AWKWARD!

[CologneJunkie]

Amen to that!

Sometimes I feel like a moron. The other day one of my male coworkers walked by and he smelled pretty good-- a bit like Silver Mountain Water. I asked him what cologne he was wearing, and he said "none"-- it was his soap-- I think he said it was Dial for Men or something. That's the worst-- when you compliment someone of the same sex on their cologne and they're not wearing any. It leaves kind of a creepy feeling hanging in the air... AWKWARD!

LOL! Or maybe he really WAS wearing a fragrance & just didn't want to admit it, so he played it off as if it was just his soap.

[Carlos]

Geez, so I'm the only shallow one.

[Sunsetspawn]

Coworkers, acquaintances, and friends can all be complimented freely and easily. My nose is easy to please. My only exception to this rule is if I am attracted to a coworker. I don't need tension at work, and I feel that I easily let my shit slip out as it is, and I don't feel the need to actually initiate an awkward moment. I've accidentally ended up dating coworkers in the past and I value this job too much for that. What goes up, amirite?

Now, in terms of strangers, I simply will not compliment a woman. Sorry, but any friendliness on my part towards any woman immediately causes her to put up that, "nice try with the sneaky,'you smell nice,' trick to get in my vagina," defense. I can't really explain why, but my general presence causes women that don't know me to start playing goal keeper. Maybe I'm just projecting what I assume to be the case. I don't know. Actually, wait a sec, I will compliment a strange woman in the rare instance that I know, BEYOND A SHADOW OF A DOUBT, what she's wearing.

Now, as for men. I do this occasionally, and I actually found D&G By Man this way. Of course is doesn't smell half as good on me, but whatever. It's damn tricky though, because I don't want to come off as gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I've been hit on by gay guys before and it can be jarring to someone that has horrendous anxiety issues. Actually, being hit on by a woman gives me anxiety too, even if I'm attracted to her. I'm a mess. Where was I? Oh yeah. I usually have to be a bit ghetto if I compliment a guy, you know, macho that shit up a whole lot so I don't come off as gay.

"Yo my man, you smellin' good comin down that hall and I'm sayin, maybe you could tell me what you wearin' so I could get me some a that." -answer- "Good lookin, dog."

I'm a tool.

[Pappy]

When its a girl almost always.

When its a guy never.

[hednic]

When its a girl almost always.

When its a guy never.

Same here.

[Castrensis]

It's damn tricky though, because I don't want to come off as gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I've been hit on by gay guys before and it can be jarring to someone that has horrendous anxiety issues. Actually, being hit on by a woman gives me anxiety too, even if I'm attracted to her. I'm a mess. Where was I? Oh yeah. I usually have to be a bit ghetto if I compliment a guy, you know, macho that shit up a whole lot so I don't come off as gay.

Literally laughed out loud.

I'm a compliment whore, I compliment practically everyone who smells even remotely good. I do the same thing with new hair styles/cuts, hair colors, clothes, shoes, jewelry, cars, spectacles, you name it. I always notice. On the flip side I usually follow the old adage, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." Unless it's a close friend or someone's genuinely asking my opinion.

I'm an equal opportunity complimenter, sex doesn't matter. It gets awkward occasionally with a guy looking at me with hooded eyes & mumbling, "Uh, just some aftershave or something...." & hurrying away. I just don't understand it. You probably shouldn't wear perfume if you're going to get all verklempt when someone notices that you smell like something other than a boring ol' human.

[Mr. Od]

Coworkers, acquaintances, and friends can all be complimented freely and easily. My nose is easy to please. My only exception to this rule is if I am attracted to a coworker. I don't need tension at work, and I feel that I easily let my shit slip out as it is, and I don't feel the need to actually initiate an awkward moment. I've accidentally ended up dating coworkers in the past and I value this job too much for that. What goes up, amirite?

Now, in terms of strangers, I simply will not compliment a woman. Sorry, but any friendliness on my part towards any woman immediately causes her to put up that, "nice try with the sneaky,'you smell nice,' trick to get in my vagina," defense. I can't really explain why, but my general presence causes women that don't know me to start playing goal keeper. Maybe I'm just projecting what I assume to be the case. I don't know. Actually, wait a sec, I will compliment a strange woman in the rare instance that I know, BEYOND A SHADOW OF A DOUBT, what she's wearing.

Now, as for men. I do this occasionally, and I actually found D&G By Man this way. Of course is doesn't smell half as good on me, but whatever. It's damn tricky though, because I don't want to come off as gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I've been hit on by gay guys before and it can be jarring to someone that has horrendous anxiety issues. Actually, being hit on by a woman gives me anxiety too, even if I'm attracted to her. I'm a mess. Where was I? Oh yeah. I usually have to be a bit ghetto if I compliment a guy, you know, macho that shit up a whole lot so I don't come off as gay.

"Yo my man, you smellin' good comin down that hall and I'm sayin, maybe you could tell me what you wearin' so I could get me some a that." -answer- "Good lookin, dog."

I'm a tool.

Hahaha

[Larwiz]

Unless it's someone I work with or see on a regular basis, I just don't care if they think my compliment is a come on or not. I almost complimented a woman who must have been 75-80 the other day at the market as she was wearing Poison which I've always liked, and strangely, it seemed to work well on her. Also, she wasn't wearing too much, I only got a whiff of it because she nearly backed into me by accident. I was just too caught off guard and by time I got a whiff and wanted to make a compliment she was on her way.

One time I had a man - a man's man kind of man (wow, too much use of the word man in this sentence :P) compliment me and then insist on knowing what I was wearing. Oddly, I was wearing Salvador Dali Ph. Heh, for those of you who remember, yes this was the incident where my new co-worker thought it was his cologne that was being complimented since all the man said was "Wow, someone smells really good." The new guy quickly offered his arm and said "Why thank you, that's Lucky You for Men" to which the man replied "No, no, that's not what smelled so good." I rather reservedly said "Perhaps it's me" and offered my arm and he smiled and nodded and then proceeded to ask about it. His wife came walking into the building and he then had her sniff me up and down as well. :P

Wow! I must add this one to my test list, as I respect your taste in fragrances...

[Larwiz]

Me personally, I don't hesitate to compliment, because what I most get from it is knowledge of what the fragrance is that I am smelling on the complimented person. And that is what it's all about. Exposure and knowledge. With guys, I always say the same thing: "I'm into fragrances, and I like what you're wearing. What is that?" I usually keep it that simple. I can probably count on one hand the number of times I have done that to a guy, and I have never been recieved disrespectfully.

[Nanook]

Zombie thread has arisen! Interesting topic, though. I, too, tend to compliment women I find attractive. With strangers or women don't know too well, I usually preface it with a smile and, "This is going to sound like a cheesy pick up line, but..." and I haven't noticed any "goal keeping" behavior yet. Maybe it's that I have a genuine interest in fragrance, and that comes out somehow.

With men, I tend to compliment only when I like something and want to find out what it is, or when I don't for the same reason. If it's a "meh" scent, I will compliment a friend if I feel like they need a "You're so money," boost. I have never complimented a total male stranger, but my first words after introductions to a director I was working with were, and this is pretty much how I preface any male compliment who isn't a friend, and perhaps I might use slightly less eye contact than usual, "Now this might sound a little weird, but..."

Huh, just noticed I qualify compliments to both sexes who aren't friends. Wonder what that's about. Or is it just a cigar?

[Ken_Russell]

1. Quite frequently, provided that the fragrance amazes me, and provided that the person is close enough to me not to take it the wrong way (but even so, I can hardly refrain complimenting frags and almost blame myself for not doing this often enough)

2. Almost any kind of frag, I even complimented a lady-friend wearing an Avon fragrance, that strangely smelled very expensive on her

3. Anything too heavy, too artificial, too generic or even too "sexy" (trying to desperately to seem alluring and seductive, thus overpowering almost any spontaneity and romance)

4. I have no problem with that, though occasions for this were pretty scarce

[OlfactoryExperience]

Coworkers, acquaintances, and friends can all be complimented freely and easily. My nose is easy to please. My only exception to this rule is if I am attracted to a coworker. I don't need tension at work, and I feel that I easily let my shit slip out as it is, and I don't feel the need to actually initiate an awkward moment. I've accidentally ended up dating coworkers in the past and I value this job too much for that. What goes up, amirite?

Now, in terms of strangers, I simply will not compliment a woman. Sorry, but any friendliness on my part towards any woman immediately causes her to put up that, "nice try with the sneaky,'you smell nice,' trick to get in my vagina," defense. I can't really explain why, but my general presence causes women that don't know me to start playing goal keeper. Maybe I'm just projecting what I assume to be the case. I don't know. Actually, wait a sec, I will compliment a strange woman in the rare instance that I know, BEYOND A SHADOW OF A DOUBT, what she's wearing.

Now, as for men. I do this occasionally, and I actually found D&G By Man this way. Of course is doesn't smell half as good on me, but whatever. It's damn tricky though, because I don't want to come off as gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but I've been hit on by gay guys before and it can be jarring to someone that has horrendous anxiety issues. Actually, being hit on by a woman gives me anxiety too, even if I'm attracted to her. I'm a mess. Where was I? Oh yeah. I usually have to be a bit ghetto if I compliment a guy, you know, macho that shit up a whole lot so I don't come off as gay.

"Yo my man, you smellin' good comin down that hall and I'm sayin, maybe you could tell me what you wearin' so I could get me some a that." -answer- "Good lookin, dog."

I'm a tool.

HILARIOUS!!! I wish I could have heard that conversation at the end played out in real life. Hahaha. I don't have any issues complimenting strange women on their scent. I've been told that my demeanor sets women at ease so its not hard to have that type of exchange with an unfamiliar woman. I find, more often than not, that most of my female friends don't wear anything special and that makes me sad. They're always telling me how nice I smell and I'd love to return the compliment but they're never wearing anything!

With men, I only tend to compliment those I know. I just don't care enough to have that kind of interaction with a stranger. If it's really, REALLY good, then maybe I'll say something. Usually the fragrances I encounter on other men are either familiar or ordinary. If, for example, I was sitting next to a stranger on a plane and they were wearing something really good, I would have no problem complimenting them or asking them what they're wearing.