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  1. #91

    Default Re: 2008 New Year's resolution thread - support group?

    Hi Frenchie Day - there is a "groups" section on Basenotes - perhaps we should move our 2009 meetings over there? What do you think?

    There is a group over there addicted to sampling...I don't feel that quite hits the mark for me because I have to say my urge to sample has waned significantly with my low hit rate over the past few years (very low hit rate, as in, I've NEVER purchased a full bottle of a frag I've purchased to sample. I have purchased FB of frags of which I've been given free samples. Come to think of it, there may be a valuable lesson in there somewhere...!!!). Also, I have so many beautiful frags, they're almost impossible to improve upon, IMO.

    Hi Leesee - we literally could meet! And we should!

    Plumeria, if you want a decant of the Insolence EDP, PM me and I'll mail some out. It is a fun frag to wear because it really does smell like an updated and modern Guerlain.

    Just from our brief conversations over 2008, I think we've all become more mindful of what we're buying and why.

    Speaking of samples....almost all the frags that have been my absolute favorites / signatures (one exception) over the years - perhaps I've had a total of six in my life - never had to be sampled. With the exception of that one, I knew from the first spray that it was "mine". Samples force me to question my instinct, I think; they mess with my mind.

  2. #92
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    Default Re: 2008 New Year's resolution thread - support group?

    Frenchie Day and Seattlelight: I will look forward to meeting with you here, or in the groups section if you decide to move to the groups section (and yes, my fellow Pacific NW resident, let us do rendezvous either before Christmas, or early in the spring.)

  3. #93

    Default Re: 2008 New Year's resolution thread - support group?

    Moving to groups could be an option or maybe posting a note there about our existence :-)
    I don't mind staying in the 'official' rehab because it will make us easier to find for others who might take a peek at E.Gallo's clinic. What do you think?

  4. #94
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    Default Re: 2008 New Year's resolution thread - support group?

    I'm fine either way.

  5. #95

    Default Re: 2008 New Year's resolution thread - support group?

    Either way for me, too.

    Plumeria, do you have a preference where to have our 2009 meetings?

  6. #96

    Default Re: 2008 New Year's resolution thread - support group?

    I simply have to tell you about my little success story from the other day. I was so close to buying Black Orchid but managed to stop myself and decided to sample it properly before deciding to buy. I was picking the bottle up and putting it back on the shelf while sniffing my wrist. A security guy started looking at me with suspicion,haha. I don't think I will get it because it makes me a bit nauseous. I am so proud of myself, this is the first time that I have managed to avoid an impulse buy. It feels so goooooooood.

  7. #97

    Default Re: 2008 New Year's resolution thread - support group?

    Quote Originally Posted by Frenchie Day View Post
    I simply have to tell you about my little success story from the other day. I was so close to buying Black Orchid but managed to stop myself and decided to sample it properly before deciding to buy. I was picking the bottle up and putting it back on the shelf while sniffing my wrist. A security guy started looking at me with suspicion,haha. I don't think I will get it because it makes me a bit nauseous. I am so proud of myself, this is the first time that I have managed to avoid an impulse buy. It feels so goooooooood.
    Maybe the guard was thinking "she sprayed the BO and she looks nauseous, I'd better run for the sawdust".

    Excellent work, Frenchie Day! I think your life will be every bit as happy and fulfilled without BO in it.

    I'd say this about impulse buys, just speaking for myself: I am not totally against them (depending on frequency). However, if I'm going to make impulse purchases, I want them to smell either out-of-this-world-awesome, beyond what I have in my current arsenal, or be absolutely practical. Personally, I've found that if I really need to "think" about the fragrance as I'm sampling it (as in, trying to convince myself to like it or understand it), it probably isn't for me.

    You are my inspiration for the rest of this year!
    Last edited by seattlelight; 10th November 2008 at 04:07 PM.

  8. #98

    Default Re: 2008 New Year's resolution thread - support group?

    Thanks Seattlelight, that is very kind of you ;-)

    I've been seriously thinking about the experiences of all of you posting on this thread; about self-control and its rewards. It has taken me a while to take good advice but I think it has happened at last. I think I am now capable of liking a scent without feeling the urge to go and buy it. And that's great. I know many people collect for pleasure, but I'm after a small(ish) wardrobe of perfumes i want to wear regularly.

    You are right about some impulse buys, that if you don't have to convince yourself about it too much, it probably means it is a good decision. My last impulse buy of that sort was Kenzo Amour. I love it. Nothing spectacular, just cozy and nice and perfect for days when i don't want anything too complex or challenging. Black Orchid was more of a 'I would like to love it cos it is a femme fatale kind of a scent and in my fantasy life I could pull it off' kind of thinking. I am so glad i didn't buy it. I swear this makes me feel free. Crazy, isn't it?

  9. #99

    Default Re: 2008 New Year's resolution thread - support group?

    No, not crazy. It is freeing not to be controlled by wants. Your line of thinking is exactly what the advertisers expect to happen: " With this magic potion, I will be a femme fatale. So edgy, so cool."

    You won't be any different than you are right now. If you're a femme fatale, so be it, you don't need the potion to convey that upon you. If you're not a femme fatale, find something wholesome and more compatible; that's your unique self, so flaunt it.

    All the advertisers want is to make you feel inadequate, make you poorer and make you feel out of control of your own desires and needs. You've shown you can overcome their influence and you've proven to yourself that it feels great to be in control of your purchases.

  10. #100

    Default Re: 2008 New Year's resolution thread - support group?

    My lordy... the thread that was started here:
    http://community.basenotes.net/showthread.php?t=218437
    ...was really an eye-opener for me this evening! When I did a head-count of all the scents I've amassed in 2008 alone, I was more than a bit gobsmacked. In fact, really a bit alarmed!

    I think I'm going to start selling off unnecessary scents, and limit myself to just one seasonal purchase next year (ie: 4 scents only for the year of 2009). Thats my new year's goal.

    Can I gedda hallelujah?!
    .................................................. .................................................. .............................................
    Feb 2012 - I requested my account be deleted. Remember, be friendly to many, but friends with few.

  11. #101
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    Default Re: 2008 New Year's resolution thread - support group?

    Quote Originally Posted by seattlelight View Post
    Maybe the guard was thinking "she sprayed the BO and she looks nauseous, I'd better run for the sawdust".

    Excellent work, Frenchie Day! I think your life will be every bit as happy and fulfilled without BO in it.

    I'd say this about impulse buys, just speaking for myself: I am not totally against them (depending on frequency). However, if I'm going to make impulse purchases, I want them to smell either out-of-this-world-awesome, beyond what I have in my current arsenal, or be absolutely practical. Personally, I've found that if I really need to "think" about the fragrance as I'm sampling it (as in, trying to convince myself to like it or understand it), it probably isn't for me.

    You are my inspiration for the rest of this year!
    Frenchie Day, congratulations on your recent success. It sounds like you were using your head even as you contemplated following your heart, so to speak. Seattlelight, I get what you mean about impulse purchases. "Just stop to think," would be a good adage to follow in most situations.

  12. #102

    Default Re: 2008 New Year's resolution thread - support group?

    Thanks Leesee!
    Dimitri, my goal for 2008 was to buy no more than 3 perfumes. I have no clue how many I have bought so far and I ended up giving most of them away. I have been doing this for about a year now and have wasted a lot of money. This last year has been a complete failure in terms of my attempt to change my buying habits. Only now am I managing to get it under control. I guess participating in the support group has finally paid off for me. I hope that you will be better than me in this respect :-) Best of luck in the new year, looking forward to seeing you on this thread again.

  13. #103

    Default Re: 2008 New Year's resolution thread - support group?

    Frenchie.. thank you for your words.
    I am resolute to try and make this work. I can't imagine how Ive been compelled to spend and accrue so much fragrance this year. I am simply going to let go of some, and keep just 10 or 15 bottles of my absolute must-haves. 4 purchases a year may just work for me... as long as I am emptying existing bottles in my collection at a similar rate. I will be sure to check into the clinic regularly!
    .................................................. .................................................. .............................................
    Feb 2012 - I requested my account be deleted. Remember, be friendly to many, but friends with few.

  14. #104

    Default Re: 2008 New Year's resolution thread - support group?

    Quote Originally Posted by Dimitri View Post
    My lordy... the thread that was started here:
    http://community.basenotes.net/showthread.php?t=218437
    ...was really an eye-opener for me this evening! When I did a head-count of all the scents I've amassed in 2008 alone, I was more than a bit gobsmacked. In fact, really a bit alarmed!

    I think I'm going to start selling off unnecessary scents, and limit myself to just one seasonal purchase next year (ie: 4 scents only for the year of 2009). Thats my new year's goal.

    Can I gedda hallelujah?!
    Yeah, this hobby can quickly turn to compulsion and it is sobering when that awareness occurs.

    As alluded to in an earlier post, it is possible to appreciate art (be it in the form of a painting, a car, or a fragrance) without owning it.

    The seasonal purchase plan works best for me because I don't feel deprived or rushed. Although I must say that I ended up with twice as many new bottles as I thought I would (8 purchases this year, not 4) but I did quite well adhering to the timeline!

    It is totally do-able. I choose the Saturday after Lent for my first one, then my birthday (in July) - the first half of the year is the easiest for me. Then, in the Fall, things get tougher; that's where I had my major downfall this year. Not sure how to plan for 2009 around this....

  15. #105

    Default Re: 2008 New Year's resolution thread - support group?

    And I'm thinking it'll be a good 2009 if I can limit myself to one bottle per paycheck (twice a month)!!!
    As Dimitri has said to me...baby steps!

  16. #106

    Default Re: 2008 New Year's resolution thread - support group?

    Quote Originally Posted by Frenchie Day View Post
    Black Orchid was more of a 'I would like to love it cos it is a femme fatale kind of a scent and in my fantasy life I could pull it off' kind of thinking. I am so glad i didn't buy it. I swear this makes me feel free.
    Well done, Frenchie Day! I'm happy for you It's actually taken me a long time to realize why I'm drawn to fragrances that aren't "me" at all. You said it so well. I'm drawn by the image that certain fragrances hold for me and the thought that by wearing them, it's my little secret throughout the day that I'm trying on this image, and imagining I have some of the qualities I admire, such as sophistication and worldliness. Unfortunately, it doesn't work for me. Instead, I find I don't wear them at all because I feel weird when I do, because it clashes with my true image.

    Quote Originally Posted by seattlelight View Post
    You won't be any different than you are right now. If you're a femme fatale, so be it, you don't need the potion to convey that upon you. If you're not a femme fatale, find something wholesome and more compatible; that's your unique self, so flaunt it.
    Yes! That's exactly the revelation I've had recently! I'm beginning to embrace this.

    Seattlelight ~ thank you so much for your kind offer of the Insolence edp decant. I have pretty easy access to trying it out (can hop into NYC anytime), so I won't need to bother you for it, but I reallly appreciate it

    I'm so glad to see all the new faces here and am really looking forward to continuing on in 2009! As for the location, I'm pretty flexible. I do feel that this is a good place for it, since our topic embodies the purpose of this forum. But I'm open to change. I didn't even know about the Groups forum! That could be a good place, too. Wherever this support group winds up, I'll be there! It's truly helping me.

    So my thoughts on what to do with my unused bottles keeps changing. At times I wanted to try to use them up, or keep them in case my tastes change. But now I'm thinking why waste precious time on wearing fragrances that I don't enjoy or that do not express who I am? I'm starting to think my tastes really won't change that much in the future. I'm toying with the idea of buying a bunch of decant bottles, and decanting some of everything I own to keep as a reference, and then getting rid of everything I know I won't wear. It's going to take some time and courage to do this though. Maybe that could be my project for 2009.

  17. #107
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    Default Re: 2008 New Year's resolution thread - support group?

    Plumeria, I applaud your idea of decanting and then purging, and you have in fact just inspired me, so thank you. Lately I find myself wanting to strike a balance between going monastic and staying hedonistic so your post is pushing me toward taking action, rather than just fretting about the matter.

  18. #108

    Default Re: 2008 New Year's resolution thread - support group?

    Well, lasciv, the vast majority of issued credit cards have a limit.

    The problem can escalate when there are no significant monetary limits and you need to impose your own non-monetary ones. That's predominantly what we're working on here.

  19. #109

    Default Re: 2008 New Year's resolution thread - support group?

    Can I join in for 2009? I've been thinking about all the good things you've said in this thread, and I defintely need a support group!

    I've always been interested in perfume, but this year I've been going crazy and spent so much money on scents! I think I need to slow down, and go through everything I own and see what I really like.

    4 seasonal buys a year will be hard for me, but I believe I can do it! I will allow myself to buy samples though, otherwise I think I will go down around mid-january.

    My plan for 2009:
    Try out all my samples.
    Wear each scent for at least three days in a row (or how long the sample lasts), then write a review or notes how I feel about it.
    Only allow myself one full bottle purchase for each season, and it has to be something I want to start wearing the next day (not "this will be good for winter/summer/parties in the future" etc).
    To be absolutely honest in this thread, if I break down I have to confess to you!
    Last edited by AnnaSa; 21st December 2008 at 09:55 AM.

  20. #110

    Default Re: 2008 New Year's resolution thread - support group?

    Hello lasciv and AnnaSa! I look forward to hearing about your experiences in the coming year. AnnaSa, you have a great plan for 2009! I've found that it feels really good to confess and I've gotten strength from this support group over the past year. I'm really happy with the results.

    In the past I've been an all or nothing kind of person. I have these grand plans and expect strict adherence from myself, and the first time I waver and give in to something, I would just give up the whole endeavor (this applied in other areas of my life as well). I've learned it's better to be flexible and to not let any little transgressions stop me from making a real improvement.

    This year, my initial goal was to not buy a single fragrance. Well, I did not succeed in that. I've bought 2 fragrances so far, but I didn't really feel bad about it. That is a heck of a lot better than previous years, and luckily I like both of those fragrances. I feel my goals are evolving. Proof of that is I plan on making one more purchase this year, and I'm really looking forward to it instead of feeling guilty about it.

    Leesee, I'm so glad to have a like-minded buddy in the decanting / purge process. I have a feeling it's going to be challenging for me to follow through with this.

    Thanks again to all the wonderful members of this support group! I truly could not have had this much success without your help. Happy holidays to all!

  21. #111
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    Default Re: 2008 New Year's resolution thread - support group?

    Haven't checked this thread lately, but so glad I did today. I hear you, plumeria, regarding the difficulty purging and thinning the decant herd.

    Anyway, Happy Holidays, and I look forward to meeting up with all of you on this thread in the new year (just days away, now!) and getting and giving some needed support.

  22. #112

    Default Re: 2008 New Year's resolution thread - support group?

    Welcome to everyone new for 2009.

    AnnaSa, I like your idea about wearing the samples and then reviewing in writing how it went over a few days.

    That would be difficult for me to put into practice. Personally, there are some scents I simply cannot wear for even one complete day. Perhaps patience is the problem, I don't know. But if I'm not immediately drawn - even sniffing from the vial (sometimes I don't even try them on skin) - I set the sample aside and move on. Perhaps I'm being too hasty with my decisions? Perhaps I'm too liberal with my criteria for ordering the samples in the first place? If the samples are well selected and researched (mine usually are not), your method would be a good one. Perhaps that's where I need to spend more time to save more money, in the selection process. Thank you for the suggestion.

    I plan to continue with the four times per year purchase, but will probably allow myself two bottles four times per year. That seems to be a workable, reasonable, and non-stressful solution at this point. I did allow myself to purchase samples and decants in 2008, but I was really surprised by how few of these I purchased total. I don't tend to gravitate to these as much, for some reason. The lack of packaging, bottle, etc., etc., it's just not as thrilling for me, which tells me a lot about why I purchase fragrance! But it really does save me LOTS of money to go this route. Off the top of my head, I think I purchased 3 decants in 2008, and probably less than 8 samples after I made the huge purchase in January last year - and I'm STILL not through those samples I purchased almost a year ago - that's how little interest I have in them).

    Anyway, each one of us can decide on our purchasing criteria and then get support here for sticking with it. This really helped me in 2008, so much so that I feel very confident and in control at this point and have for several months running. I feel like I've kicked a habit, actually. It feels great.

    I may be off the board for several weeks around the holidays and probably not back until well after January 1, so if someone else would like to begin the 2009 resolution thread, that would be great. Happy Holidays to everyone! Looking forward to a happy and healthy 2009!

  23. #113

    Default Re: 2008 New Year's resolution thread - support group?

    Thank you all for your welcoming words, I feel really good about this decision!

    I know what you mean, Seattlelight - there are som many scents not worth wearing for a full day. But many are, I know I have a lot of samples lying in my box that smell wonderful, but instead of using them I just want new things all the time. That's why I feel I have to start using them, give them a good chance and really explore them. After about three days I should be able to tell if there worth buying a full bottle of or not.

    2008 was my year of acquisition, 2009 will be my year of analysis!

    Happy holidays everybody, I'm looking forward to next year's thread!

  24. #114

    Default Re: 2008 New Year's resolution thread - support group?

    Hi all,
    I'm looking forward to the new year. 2008 was a complete failure for me and I am determined to do better. I will need all the help I can get. I still haven't come up with a purchasing plan but it will probably be 1 after lent, 1 for my birthday in July, 1 in autumn and 1 for winter.

    Happy Christmas and New Year!




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