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  1. #1

    Default Do you let someone else influence what scent you wear?

    My mom hates patchouli - and she says that spicy, incense scents don't smell good on me. Right now, I'm loving them - but I'm sick of being told I smell like I'm wearing "old men's cologne".

    Should I not wear what I like around her? She says I should wear "sweet" scents (I'm not really a pink sugar gal). Do you think others can sense what better suits your chemistry, and change accordingly, or do you wear for yourself?

    Also - sweet scents that don't smell too young??

  2. #2

    Default Re: Do you let someone else influence what scent you wear?

    I basically wear my scents for me and do not worry too much about other people's perceptions. The one case when I amend this is work. I try not to wear things that "rock the room" or are readily identifiable.

    As for my family, my daughter had a real issue with Zita years ago, she thought it was "wrong" for me, but I wore it anyway. In the case of Zita, I think it seemed to light and bright and was not what she expected. The last time she smelled it, aftre a long hiatus, she did not make the same comment.

    I would let my own comfort level be the guide for dealing with mom. If it bothers you greatly you may want to experiment with other scents, if it doesn't and you feel happy about your choices you may just have to accept that she has different taste and just laugh off the remarks.

  3. #3

    Default Re: Do you let someone else influence what scent you wear?

    When someone gives me an unsolicited compliment on a fragrance I tend to let that weigh heavy in whether I will purchase a full bottle of something. i also have certain fragrances that my Hubby prefers and I try to wear those for him when we are going out. No one has ever mentioned that they did not like my perfume except for the times I tried to wear Amber Nude and Obsession....I marked those off the list along with Aromatic Elixer (which I LOVE on my friend and smells completely skanky on me). My Mom recently was wearing Brittney Spears and it would immediately give me a migraine so I asked her not to wear it around me. I found her a suitable substitute that does not give me a headache and we are both happy. If my Mom found a fragrance I wore offensive I would not wear it around her but continue to wear it at other times.

  4. #4

    Default Re: Do you let someone else influence what scent you wear?

    Maybe your mom just really hates patchouli. She probably wouldn't like it on anyone, not just you. That doesn't mean you shouldn't wear it if you love it, but maybe just wear it very lightly around her. Or, if she totally can't stand it, just wear it when you're going out.

  5. #5

    Default Re: Do you let someone else influence what scent you wear?

    I pay heed to the unsolicited compliment, but don't automatically purchase the fragrance if it is not completely to my liking. At that point I will often try similar fragrances that I enjoy to see if I get a compliment or comment from the same person. In addition, I always defer to the opinions of the love of my life as we spend so much time together, both in our work and at play. So far, it's never come to squabbles and sometimes I think his nose is more sophisticated than mine.

  6. #6

    Default Re: Do you let someone else influence what scent you wear?

    It depends on the situation and person, for me. Day-to-day, I wear perfume to please myself. No one at work complains about what I wear (indeed, no one seems to notice), so that's easy. On a special occasion, I'll lean towards something my sweetie likes, ditto towards the purchasing a full bottle decision.

    Now, as to mothers.... My mother and I have had an ongoing debate about the length of my hair and my skirts (you may be surprised to know she generally believes both should be shorter) since I was old enough to express a preference. She fervently wanted to dress me in plaid skirts and penny loafers through high school. Probably she'd want me to smell "pretty" and wear a "sweet" perfume too. We've learned to agree to disagree on the hair and the skirts and the penny loafers (and I imagine we would on the perfume too)--those were things that were about her image of what her daughter should be like, rather than who I actually was/am. I'm thinking your mom's real objection isn't to the fragrance, exactly, but I may be wrong. At any rate, I'd let my own comfort level be my guide, were I in your patchouli-scented shoes. If her comments really set you on edge and make your time with her uncomfortable, it might be worth it to find something that doesn't draw those remarks. It might also be worth it (and fun) to take her fragrance sniffing with you, so you can find out what she means by "sweet" and maybe even find a fragrance you both agree on, or one you can at least stand to wear around her.

  7. #7

    Default Re: Do you let someone else influence what scent you wear?

    Of course I want to smell wonderful to my husband! Fortunately, he is very open in regard to fragrance, and whatever I love to wear ~ he appreciates too!!! Lucky me!

  8. #8

    Default Re: Do you let someone else influence what scent you wear?

    I am lucky my husband also likes many different scents. I guess I will just put aside certain scents when mom visits...

  9. #9

    Wink Re: Do you let someone else influence what scent you wear?

    Quote Originally Posted by smellymonkey View Post
    I am lucky my husband also likes many different scents. I guess I will just put aside certain scents when mom visits...
    You're a good daughter!

  10. #10

    Default Re: Do you let someone else influence what scent you wear?

    I would be influenced if a friend, or even a stranger for that matter, told me
    a scent didn't suit me (although I can't say anyone ever has!)
    As regards a sweet scent, you might like Cristobal. It's classy and
    sweet in a non-saccharine way (if you see what I mean!) Most people
    seem to like it on me at any rate.

  11. #11

    Default Re: Do you let someone else influence what scent you wear?

    Wear fragrances for yourself and not others. I use to be influenced by girlfriends and family but that got in the way of what *I* choose to wear. I had a devious GF who would tell me I smell like shit when I wore something nice because she did not want me to wear it around other people. So, don't get caught up in what other people think and wear something for yourself; please your nose and don't make it suffer for someone else's sake.

  12. #12

    Default Re: Do you let someone else influence what scent you wear?

    I mostly wear perfume for myself. I loooooove to smell perfume on myself and other people as well. Now, of course if I'm going to see a gentleman caller, then I wear Alien. Men love Alien on me. It has never failed me. It's funny because I got a text from a friend of mine who finally tried Alien and she loves it.

    I get complaints from certain folks all the time. This lady that works with me says I give her a headache. I told her good. Hopefully that will keep you away from me. She just looks at me and shakes her head LOL! I don't care what they think. I always tell them it's a free country and you're free to move.

    My Daddy fusses when I come to visit because he says I stink up his bathroom ROFL! He doesn't wear cologne and always tells me and my Moms we smell like we've been wallowin with the pigs. I don't pay it no mine.

    There are gonna be folks who don't like your perfume and there will be those that love your perfume. I wear perfume for myself because I love it. It was handed down to me from my Moms and she got it from my Grand-Daddy. She always tells me I'm just like him. I loved my Grand-Daddy. I followed him everywhere. He wore Brut and Old Spice LOL! I loved to smell it on him. I would sit in his lap and lay my head on his chest.

    So, for me it's history and fond memories that are also behind my love of perfume. Sometimes we forget to love ourselves and do things for ourselves that make us feel good. Don't let the needs of others make you forget about your needs. It's not selfish to think of yourself every now and then. It's those little things that we love that can bring joy to our lives. Lord knows with the state of world as it is, we need a moment of joy no matter how small it may seem. Perfume brings that moment of joy to me everytime I catch a whiff.
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  13. #13

    Thumbs up Re: Do you let someone else influence what scent you wear?

    Quote Originally Posted by Divatologist View Post
    Sometimes we forget to love ourselves and do things for ourselves that make us feel good. Don't let the needs of others make you forget about your needs. It's not selfish to think of yourself every now and then. It's those little things that we love that can bring joy to our lives. Lord knows with the state of world as it is, we need a moment of joy no matter how small it may seem. Perfume brings that moment of joy to me everytime I catch a whiff.
    I'm REALLY feelin' that!
    It's so true.
    As one wise basenoter put it:
    Quote Originally Posted by Carlos View Post
    I think this marks the end of any attempts to be socially acceptable with frags once and all.....
    A new door has been opened it seems, and social acceptability be damned.
    I couldn't agree more.

  14. #14

    Default Re: Do you let someone else influence what scent you wear?

    I have always worn things that are pleasing to me. I could care less if they are pleasing to anyone else, I am not here to please anyone else. "Unto thine own self be true."
    Quand on boit l'eau, il faut penser à sa source

  15. #15

    Default Re: Do you let someone else influence what scent you wear?

    I don't like being in a closed room with someone who has on a strong scent or is heavy on the patchouli, but if it's in something well blended with other notes, it's fine.

  16. #16

    Default Re: Do you let someone else influence what scent you wear?

    I wear what I feel like wearing, but for anniversaries and occasions like that I pick what I know hub loves. But that's the only exception.
    "Wovon man nicht lesen kann, darüber muss man schreiben."

  17. #17

    Default Re: Do you let someone else influence what scent you wear?

    Do I let others influence my choice of scents? Heck no! What I do is allow others to have the priviledge of affecting my choices.

    I wouldn't want to smell disagreeable to someone I like and love, so that lucky person would give me the thrill of trying to please with a different scent that I'd want us both to like on me.
    --Chris
    That girl, that bottle, that mattress and me.

  18. #18

    Default Re: Do you let someone else influence what scent you wear?

    Personally, I've made a decision never to listen to my mother. I agree with Magpie; what she says "suits you" is probably just an reflection of who she wants you to be, not who you really are.

    I tend to listen to what my boyfriend has to say about fragrances, luckily he likes most of mine. The only thing he has a problem with is usually the fragrance in cosmetics and skincare, and since I don't have any favorites there I don't mind chosing another brand next time I go shopping.
    Last edited by AnnaSa; 22nd February 2008 at 11:44 AM. Reason: Bad english...

  19. #19

    Default Re: Do you let someone else influence what scent you wear?

    My husband, whom I love dearly, hates perfume. Sometimes he has an allergic reaction. My love of fragrance is intense, compelling, and lifelong. I think about, choose, and wear fragrance to please myself. I do not apply the scent in a room that my husband is in, and he doesn't seem to notice after the topnotes have faded.

  20. #20

    Default Re: Do you let someone else influence what scent you wear?

    I wear perfumes for myself. However, I try not to wear something too strong if I 'm having dinner at a restaurant (it's also unpleasant for me) or if I know I' ll be in small, warm places. If there's something I hate, it's the feeling of starting to sweat over a warm, spicy fragrance. But anyway I don't have too many of those.

  21. #21

    Default Re: Do you let someone else influence what scent you wear?

    I'm an unabashed compliment whore. I'd probably wear cat doodie if it garnered me enough compliments. Seriously, it's best when I like a frag that gets me compliments, true, but I'm just enough of a compliment whore that I'll usually end up wearing anything that makes others (male, female or both) go apeshit ga-ga over my frag choice.

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  22. #22

    Default Re: Do you let someone else influence what scent you wear?

    I must admit that when I was younger I did allow others to influence what fragrances I wore, but not anymore. I wear what I like now, but do take "situations" into consideration. I wouldn't wear Opium to church say, or a real sillage monster on a long car ride for example. I don't care though, if someone doesn't like what I sprayed that day, if I like it, I wear it anyway!
    "Woe to the one who's love of elixirs, grows into madness"
    :bounce:

  23. #23

    Default Re: Do you let someone else influence what scent you wear?

    If your mom wore a scent and you told her it made her smell like an old woman, would she stop wearing it?

  24. #24

    Default Re: Do you let someone else influence what scent you wear?

    My Wife has an influence on my fragrance choices.....She is the only one that I'm concerned about.....We agree 99% of the time.....Other than my Wife there is no person that can influence my fragrance choices.....Gary

  25. #25

    Default Re: Do you let someone else influence what scent you wear?

    If someone had a genuine allergy or a strong aversion, I won't wear it when that person is near.

    Otherwise, I wear what please me. The DH can't stand, for instance, Arpege Pour Homme.
    "No sweet perfume ever tortured me more than this." Desert Rose by Sting and Cheb Mami, Album 1999.

  26. #26

    Default Re: Do you let someone else influence what scent you wear?

    I like to tell myself I won't ever let anyone influence what I wore, but I did once get all smiley-faced when my friend told me SL's Chene smelled good on me. I was already *this* close to buying it but I have a feeling that her comment tipped me over the edge.

    Ahh, just when I thought I was immune to external forces. ;-)
    Facebook group: Perfume Lovers in Singapore, Unite! (You don't have to be in Singapore to join.)

  27. #27
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    Default Re: Do you let someone else influence what scent you wear?

    No.
    Please feel free to check out my Swap Thread - Patou pour Homme, L'Instant de Guerlain PH Extreme, Dior Homme Intense, Pure Malt, Pure Coffee and many more! Click Here For My Swap Thread

  28. #28
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    Default Re: Do you let someone else influence what scent you wear?

    I try to consider my better half but as she likes the vast majority of my stuff anyway it's never really an issue. Otherwise no.

  29. #29

    Default Re: Do you let someone else influence what scent you wear?

    Quote Originally Posted by G.303 View Post
    My Wife has an influence on my fragrance choices.....She is the only one that I'm concerned about.....We agree 99% of the time.....Other than my Wife there is no person that can influence my fragrance choices.....Gary
    Word for word.

    The only two she didnt like were Chene and Straight to Heaven. I make it a point to wear those two to work. Win-win situation.

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  30. #30
    Dependent fragranceman88's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you let someone else influence what scent you wear?

    99.999999999999% of the time i wear scents for me - screw everyone else lol. That being said - there are the odd times where you have to be careful with what you wear (someone might be allergic or just take a bad reaction to scents)

  31. #31

    Default Re: Do you let someone else influence what scent you wear?

    Absolutely - of course. If my husband doesn't care for a particular perfume then I don't wear it around him, period (...that is, after trying a few times to change his mind about it, lol - I gotta be sure!) I have so many perfumes to which he responds quite favorably, so it's my pleasure to wear one of those instead ...after all, I want him to like the way I smell. Besides, I can always enjoy the ones he doesn't like when he's away. He's out of town for a few days now, actually, so I've been treating myself to heavenly clouds of Angel!
    Science is not only compatible with spirituality, it is a profound source of spirituality. When we recognize our place in an immensity of light-years and in the passage of ages, when we grasp the intricacy, beauty, and subtlety of life, then that soaring feeling, that sense of elation and humility combined, is surely spiritual. ..Carl Sagan

  32. #32

    Default Re: Do you let someone else influence what scent you wear?

    Of course. I often wear perfumes that are not exactly loved by my husband or friends, just because I like them a lot. But if someone around me (colleagues, friends etc) is truly bothered or made uncomfortable by my perfume, I avoid that perfume around them.

    We all consider smells to be an important aspect of our lives. Why not accept that they might be important for others too? There are always choices that can make ourselves happy and the others -well, at least, not miserable. Ideally, perfume appreciation should make us better people, not even more self involved and inconsiderate, in my opinion.

  33. #33

    Default Re: Do you let someone else influence what scent you wear?

    Yes. I listen to people on here. If someone has a good rave about something that sounds to my taste, I will add it to my mental test list. I wear a quite few things I may never have tried before this forum.

  34. #34
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    Default Re: Do you let someone else influence what scent you wear?

    Not sure. DH has the standard 'if i can smell it i don't like it', he doesn't really like any scents, so I don't ask him for input about what smells to wear. The daughters usually have different taste from me (and from each other, BTW) so I don't really worry much about what they think either.

    I do, however, refrain from wearing scent when specifically requested to do so, and if some particular smell was intolerable to DH or the girls I would not wear it, that's just mean, like blasting music nobody else in the house likes. Though, come to think of it, he does that sometimes, LOL. But I wouldn't. There aren't any headphones for scent.

  35. #35

    Default Re: Do you let someone else influence what scent you wear?

    Hardly ever! Of course, it's nice to get complimented and the occasional pleasant remarks are not that unimportant, but I mainly stick to my tastes irrespective of potential indifference or hostility

  36. #36

    Default Re: Do you let someone else influence what scent you wear?

    Absolutely. Haven't we all had that experience of being around someone who doused himself/herself in a scent that just does not smell good? There tends to be a "trying too hard" quality to this situation. People are trying to do us a favor when they say something to us about it, even if it feels harsh or offensive at the time. It's not like there aren't thousands of other frags to choose from.

    Compliments influence what I wear. If you smell good, people will comment about that.

  37. #37

    Default Re: Do you let someone else influence what scent you wear?

    I wish I could say "no, I am not influenced by anyone, I only spray for myself" but I can't say that because it is not true. We are essentially social creatures; we know about beauty and ugliness from others. We wouldn't even have a sense of self without others.

    If no one notices what you wear or notices it in a bad way, then what's the point in all that money down the drain?...
    In a complete state of nature, with no one around, I suppose I could easily get used to my own BO...
    The problem with progress is that it has been going on for too long.

  38. #38

    Default Re: Do you let someone else influence what scent you wear?

    I wish I could say "no, I am not influenced by anyone, I only spray for myself" but I can't say that because it is not true. We are essentially social creatures; we know about beauty and ugliness from others. We wouldn't even have a sense of self without others.

    If no one notices what you wear or notices it in a bad way, then what's the point in all that money down the drain?...
    In a complete state of nature, with no one around, I suppose I could easily get used to my own BO...
    The problem with progress is that it has been going on for too long.

  39. #39

    Default Re: Do you let someone else influence what scent you wear?

    I do try to make sure my husband likes what I wear, especially when we are driving or something, because I want to smell good for him and also because he can get nauseated very quickly by the wrong/too much scent. For the rest I wear perfume for myself alone
    ''Do unto others 20% better than you'd expect them to do unto you to correct for subjective error.''
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  40. #40

    Default Re: Do you let someone else influence what scent you wear?

    Quote Originally Posted by darkdreams View Post
    Ideally, perfume appreciation should make us better people, not even more self involved and inconsiderate, in my opinion.
    Very nicely put, dd.
    Science is not only compatible with spirituality, it is a profound source of spirituality. When we recognize our place in an immensity of light-years and in the passage of ages, when we grasp the intricacy, beauty, and subtlety of life, then that soaring feeling, that sense of elation and humility combined, is surely spiritual. ..Carl Sagan

  41. #41

    Default Re: Do you let someone else influence what scent you wear?

    Not really. I'd balk at wearing something like Angel to work meetings, or on a plane journey, but that's about it. My husband doesn't influence what I wear at all. He very rarely expresses strong feelings one way or the other about my scents, so I can pretty much wear what I like without worrying about bothering him. I'm not sure I'd care if he did express a strong negative opinion - if I can put up with his Leeds Utd obsession for over 20 years, he ought to be able to tolerate a few perfumes

  42. #42
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    Default Re: Do you let someone else influence what scent you wear?

    Quote Originally Posted by devilcat View Post
    if I can put up with his Leeds Utd obsession .....
    Are you and ma cherie ganging up, devilcat ? . The avatar stays !
    Last edited by JON RODGERS; 29th November 2011 at 09:00 PM.

  43. #43

    Default Re: Do you let someone else influence what scent you wear?

    Quote Originally Posted by JON RODGERS View Post
    Are you and ma cherie ganging up, devilcat ? . The avatar stays !
    Not at all Jon! I too have spent many a Sat'dy afternoon freezing cold in the stands at Elland Road, but my soft spot for the boys in white pales into insignificance next to my SO who can quote chapter, verse, statistics, goal scorers, dates, you name it, going back to the 1970s, and will be miserable for the entire weekend if they lose (and thus has been miserable quite a lot over the past few years!).

  44. #44
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    Default Re: Do you let someone else influence what scent you wear?

    Quote Originally Posted by devilcat View Post
    will be miserable for the entire weekend if they lose (and thus has been miserable quite a lot over the past few years!).
    I can identify with that

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