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  1. #1

    Default Is It Appropriate to Ask?

    Is it appropriate for a man (either gay or straight) to ask a straight man which perfume he is wearing? Do you think this might cause some embarassment, as if the one who asks were hitting on the one who's wearing the perfume? Is there a way of presenting this question while avoiding the embarassment?

    Do you usually ask other males what perfume they are wearing? What's their reaction?

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  2. #2
    Hoos's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is It Appropriate to Ask?

    I don't think it's embarassing. This happened to me today. I was walking down the street and passed a man that smelled great and it was a type of scent I might be interested in.

    I just tapped him on the shoulder and said "Pardon me, I hate to bother you but I was wondering what cologne you're wearing. It reminds me of something and I was curious." He wasn't offended, but he didn't know either - he said it was something he just grabbed.

    Now, if you go up to a guy, stare him in the eye and say something like "Hi, handsome. You smell divine! What is that delicious smell?" You might get a different reaction.
    Brent

    Catherine Deneuve: "You should put scent where you like to be kissed."


  3. #3

    Default Re: Is It Appropriate to Ask?

    I have done this on numerous occasions and have never sensed any discomfort on their part. I usually say, "Your fragrance is amazing. Do you mind me asking what you're wearing?".

    The interesting facet to this situation is that they are usually wearing something they consider special and are more than happy to oblige.

  4. #4

    Default Re: Is It Appropriate to Ask?

    I, a 29 year old skinny and easily intimidated person, asked a well groomed loud yet intelligent 60+ year old Reverend (the Bible Thumper kind) what cologne he was wearing in the middle of me trying to make a sale. He was taken back for a second and responde: Wow, no one's ever commented me on my colognes! I happen to be wearing the run-of-the-mill Stetson Preferred Stock... I wish I had the money to get me something better...

    He trailed off. I happen to make a sale with him. If a short skinny white boy can embarrass a rotund, boisterous preacher then anyone can!

  5. #5

    Default Re: Is It Appropriate to Ask?

    I can't see why it can be inappropriate. It might cause embarrassment, but only if the other party is not cool enough. If all you want is just to find out the fragrance name, then just sound serious and to the point.

    I've never asked a stranger male about their scent, and so far I haven't smelled something that would make me ask, but I have asked this one girl just a few days ago. First time, so I was awkward as hell but it went quite okay with no disasters. And yes, I *was* hitting on her. I made a perfume-spraying gesture with my hand (seriously who the hell does that?) and asked if it was a specific fragrance, she said no and told me what it was but I didn't catch it, and I chose to skip an awkward "what was that?" The more you do this the better you get I guess.
    Looking for a sample of Gucci Envy Me.

  6. #6

    Default Re: Is It Appropriate to Ask?

    Whenever I notice a very pleasant scent I usually ask the wearer, male or female, without hesitation and always receive a civil response.

    Just ask.
    Choose to believe, choose joy.
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  7. #7
    bluesoul's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is It Appropriate to Ask?

    Yup, years of working with the public has pretty much eliminated nervousness in scenarios like this. Hitting on someone would be a different situation entirely, but going up to the person that just passed by you and going, "Sorry to bother you, but what cologne/perfume are you wearing? I love it." shouldn't be a cause for embarassment. You like receiving compliments, right?
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  8. #8

    Default Re: Is It Appropriate to Ask?

    I see nothing wrong with asking. If the other person thinks I am hitting on him, what does it matter if in fact I am not doing so? I am straight, and I give compliments to men when appropriate. Perhaps some of them think I am hitting on them, but what do I care. I am just being myself.

  9. #9
    Scentronic's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is It Appropriate to Ask?

    I am pretty easy going about this stuff. Unless the person looked unfriendly, I wouldn't have any reservation about asking what they are wearing - - - However, 11 times out of 10, whatever I'M wearing is much better anyway

    I just got back from the gym, and in the locker room, I had to stop myself from announcing/asking "Wow, that smells good, is someone wearing Encre Noire?!" - I'm glad I didnt! That would have been "too much" for the men's locker room, lol!
    Lately I've been wearing:
    Windsor, Bois de Santal, Original Santal, Elixir, Douro, Endymion, Reflection, Arcus, Marwah

  10. #10

    Default Re: Is It Appropriate to Ask?

    Quote Originally Posted by Hoos View Post
    I don't think it's embarassing. This happened to me today. I was walking down the street and passed a man that smelled great and it was a type of scent I might be interested in.

    I just tapped him on the shoulder and said "Pardon me, I hate to bother you but I was wondering what cologne you're wearing. It reminds me of something and I was curious." He wasn't offended, but he didn't know either - he said it was something he just grabbed.

    Now, if you go up to a guy, stare him in the eye and say something like "Hi, handsome. You smell divine! What is that delicious smell?" You might get a different reaction.
    This brings another important quesiton; Are we expected to believe that someone doesn't know what they put on that morning? Come on now, I don't care how naive some people are I would think one knows what kind of deodorant they put on, what shampoo they used and even what colonge they grabed out of their limited drobe. When you get an answer like that, I believe they just don't want to tell.

  11. #11

    Talking Re: Is It Appropriate to Ask?

    Quote Originally Posted by LuciusVorenus View Post
    to ask a straight man which perfume he is wearing?
    L.V.,

    I think it's appropriate, but how would I know if he's straight? Maybe that doesn't really figure into the point you were making.

    I've asked men about their fragrances before and always with positive, inoffensive results. I have never tried to hit on a man in any situation, so I don't suppose any man of whom I've made fragrance inquiries would think my questions were inappropriate. I suppose it's all in the approach. Now, if I were to ask, "Hey handsome, I'm digg'n the way you smell. Mind if I nuzzle a little closer and get a whiff of what you have to offer?" THEN I would either end up with a date, or a black eye and busted nose.

    Whenever a man has tried to hit on me, it was never my fragrance he was inquiring about.

    Seu amigo,

    David Silva

  12. #12
    Hoos's Avatar
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    Default Re: Is It Appropriate to Ask?

    Quote Originally Posted by Scentologist View Post
    This brings another important quesiton; Are we expected to believe that someone doesn't know what they put on that morning? Come on now, I don't care how naive some people are I would think one knows what kind of deodorant they put on, what shampoo they used and even what colonge they grabed out of their limited drobe. When you get an answer like that, I believe they just don't want to tell.
    Could be. But I can't tell you the brand of body wash I have in my shower. It smells great. I buy it a couple of times a month. It's cheap. That's all I know.

    I've been in a rush to get out of the house and just spritzed myself with whatever was at hand without knowing. I mean I know by the scent, but only because I've begun paying attention. But I've known guys with 20 bottles of stuff they've collected over the years who just grab "the blue bottle" or "the brown bottle" without knowing what it is.

    If you would have asked me two days ago what I was wearing, I wouldn't have been able to answer. Today was the first day that "Agrumi di Sicilia" has stuck in my head. I still couldn't tell you the full perfume house. Just "something Firenze".

    And typing that all out, I still confused Sicilia and Firenze.
    Brent

    Catherine Deneuve: "You should put scent where you like to be kissed."


  13. #13

    Default Re: Is It Appropriate to Ask?

    Quote Originally Posted by graffham View Post
    Whenever I notice a very pleasant scent I usually ask the wearer, male or female, without hesitation and always receive a civil response.

    Just ask.
    My experience duplicates Graffham's.
    That girl, that bottle, that mattress and me.

  14. #14

    Default Re: Is It Appropriate to Ask?

    Quote Originally Posted by LuciusVorenus View Post
    Is it appropriate for a man (either gay or straight) to ask a straight man which perfume he is wearing? Do you think this might cause some embarassment, as if the one who asks were hitting on the one who's wearing the perfume? Is there a way of presenting this question while avoiding the embarassment? Do you usually ask other males what perfume they are wearing? What's their reaction.
    If someone is wearing a fragrance, chances are they want the attention of others. As long as you're tactful, they will be flattered.

  15. #15

    Default Re: Is It Appropriate to Ask?

    I would say that I was a cologne connoisseur and that I never came across what he was wearing, and that I really wanted to know what it was, because I liked it (even if I hated it and wanted to know what it was to avoid it).

  16. #16

    Default Re: Is It Appropriate to Ask?

    I veryy rarely smell cologne on people where i live =/ i would ask if the person seems approachable. just walk to to them and say something like, i like the cologne your wearing, mind if i ask what is it?
    --------------------------------------
    also like others pointed out, they would probelly want to get ask about it anyways, so i dont really see the problem.
    Last edited by xclusive; 3rd April 2008 at 04:34 AM. Reason: Automerged Doublepost

  17. #17

    Default Re: Is It Appropriate to Ask?

    Quote Originally Posted by Hoos View Post
    Could be. But I can't tell you the brand of body wash I have in my shower. It smells great. I buy it a couple of times a month. It's cheap. That's all I know.
    Well, this is quite peculiar. I don't understand how one could repeatedly purchase something without knowing what to grab. For instance, many bottles look the same; just look at the axe bottles. So, for me, I just can't grab something without knowing what it is that I am grabbing. Interesting.

  18. #18

    Default Re: Is It Appropriate to Ask?

    im 100% sure people know what they use but for reasons you all know, are ashamed to admit to knowing what their wearing. the stereotype where only gays are into cologne is absurd and needs to stop.

  19. #19

    Default Re: Is It Appropriate to Ask?

    At this point, I already have so many choices at home and so many more that I know I would like to acquire that I don't need to seek out more impetus to my desires. When I experience something wonderful in the streets, I analyze it and enjoy it but let the name remain a mystery.

  20. #20

    Default Re: Is It Appropriate to Ask?

    As for me - I asked about the perfume about couple of times. It is hard for me.
    And I even remember the situations of it - once I asked about Eternity for men CK when no one weared it in Russia. And second time was in Printemps, Paris - I asked SA what MPG he is wearing. Ambre Precieux.
    That`s all. I made more questions about feminine frag names though.
    Vetiver The Great!!!

  21. #21

    Default Re: Is It Appropriate to Ask?

    Quote Originally Posted by xclusive View Post
    im 100% sure people know what they use but for reasons you all know, are ashamed to admit to knowing what their wearing. the stereotype where only gays are into cologne is absurd and needs to stop.
    OMG!! There are straight people here?! Now I have to LEAVE.

    Dammit!

    (Just kidding.)

    I have never once had a person respond badly to being told that they smell good. Usually they're happy that someone noticed. I'm always happy when someone asks, although once an Englishman smilingly asked what I was wearing, and when I told him, he said (still smiling), "It's rubbish. Bloody awful." and walked away.

    It was 'Eternity' and I'd just bought it. I poured out the rest of my drink and went home and took a shower.

    It took me months to try it again.

  22. #22

    Default Re: Is It Appropriate to Ask?

    I recently asked an easy-going young man what "cologne" he was wearing. He took it very nicely this time. But that hasn't always been reaction. Sometimes I've got "I don't remember the name" for an answer - so I don't pursue it. I don't think I'd have the nerve to ask just anyone, though. The hard part is phrasing and popping that question tactfully.

  23. #23

    Default Re: Is It Appropriate to Ask?

    I've never smelled something on any man/woman that has made me ask them what they're wearing, but I've been asked by complete strangers (men/women both) as to what my cologne was... and i've always told them what it was.

    I didn't find it one bit offensive or scary.. they're just as curious as we would be if we smelt something good on a stranger.


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  24. #24

    Default Re: Is It Appropriate to Ask?

    Quote Originally Posted by javagreen View Post
    I've never smelled something on any man/woman that has made me ask them what they're wearing, but I've been asked by complete strangers (men/women both) as to what my cologne was... and i've always told them what it was.
    When I think about it, I've never come across a male that smelled good enough to ask. Girls, sometimes (can count the occasions on one hand), but no guy (out of the very, very few guys who wear fragrance) I have ever smelled had a fragrance that was worthy of a question. I really mean this because smelling fragrance on anybody really catches my attention. But not once I have been impressed.

    Maybe when I move to Paris..
    Last edited by Mostapha; 3rd April 2008 at 08:43 AM.
    Looking for a sample of Gucci Envy Me.

  25. #25

    Default Re: Is It Appropriate to Ask?

    For me to presume that a male/female may be comfortable about asking him/her is very arrogant on my part. When in doubt, don't. If you don't care how she/he may feel, shame on you. Just because you may not be homophobic, they might be. This is just my personal experience.
    Last edited by silverbullet; 3rd April 2008 at 12:00 PM.

  26. #26

    Default Re: Is It Appropriate to Ask?

    Whenever I like some man's scent I ask which scent he is wearing. No exceptions.
    I have to mention something: gay people (I'm straight) are beyond compare more urbane when I ask "Sorry, what scent are you wearing?". They usually tell me not just the name of a scent but also their impressions about it and even some other informations (price, opinions of their friends about the scent etc). I appreciate that.
    “As if everyone, all over the world, had his daily visually artistic task; the task of being an image for others.” Peter Handke

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