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  1. #1
    Renato's Avatar
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    Default The Vilest Scent Ever - Sécrétions Magnifiques

    Well today I made the mistake of going into David Jones' department store and spraying some of this rubbish on the back of my hand.

    Forget anything I ever wrote here about some scents being bad, Sécrétions Magnifiques is the absolute worst scent I've ever come across. It made my Fake Creed Millesime Imperial seem like a decent scent.

    Two minutes later, I couldn't stand it any more - any time my hand came near my face I wanted to gag - so I walked into Myers' department store, got a bottle of Kenneth Cole Black (i.e. the first strong scent within reach) and sprayed it liberally over that one spray of Sécrétions Magnifiques.

    When I got back to the office, I hit my hand with copious hot water and soap for about five minutes to wash it of completely.

    This stuff does have a use though. On those days when you don't want anyone bothering you, it could well function as an excellent human repellant. Treat it like surface spray, and spray it around the office door - on the outside part of the door, that is.

    If anyone wishes to out themselves as olfactory deviants, you are welcome to praise this scent if you wish.
    Renato
    Last edited by Renato; 15th May 2008 at 09:49 AM.

  2. #2

    Default Re: The Vilest Scent Ever - Sécrétions Magnifiques

    You are totally right Renato.

    I had the same experience with SM. A strong and forever lasting vomit stench that made me gag. The most disturbing scent so far.


  3. #3
    Renato's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Vilest Scent Ever - Sécrétions Magnifiques

    Quote Originally Posted by Waldemar View Post
    You are totally right Renato.

    I had the same experience with SM. A strong and forever lasting vomit stench that made me gag. The most disturbing scent so far.

    Thanks, I'm not alone.
    You say "so far". I'd wager that this was the big one - it'd be impossible to make something worse. Can you actually conceive of anything worse?

    It was in a very expensive part of the store, so I didn't bother asking the price. If it ever got really cheap - 20 cents say - I might consider getting a few bottles to give to people I didn't like, and ensure that we never spoke again.
    Renato

  4. #4

    Default Re: The Vilest Scent Ever - Sécrétions Magnifiques

    Quote Originally Posted by Renato View Post
    If anyone wishes to out themselves as olfactory deviants, you are welcome to praise this scent if you wish.
    Renato
    Hehe, so that would make Luca Turin an olfactory deviant. 5 stars for SM, a "nautical floral": "an elegant fresh floral...given a demonic twist by a touch of a stupendous bilge note."
    My Wardrobe
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  5. #5

    Default Re: The Vilest Scent Ever - S?cr?tions Magnifiques

    Quote Originally Posted by the_good_life View Post
    Hehe, so that would make Luca Turin an olfactory deviant. 5 stars for SM, a "nautical floral": "an elegant fresh floral...given a demonic twist by a touch of a stupendous bilge note."
    He also gave Beyond Paradise for Men 5 stars. Someone here mentioned that Turin is much better reviewing the classics and I tend to agree.

  6. #6

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    Default Re: The Vilest Scent Ever - Sécrétions Magnifiques

    i trust you guys when you say THIS IS VILE...

    however i am just SO curious to smell this, just to see HOW vile it really is...

  7. #7
    Renato's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Vilest Scent Ever - Sécrétions Magnifiques

    Quote Originally Posted by the_good_life View Post
    Hehe, so that would make Luca Turin an olfactory deviant. 5 stars for SM, a "nautical floral": "an elegant fresh floral...given a demonic twist by a touch of a stupendous bilge note."
    His book will be released down here on the 29th May, and after all the discussion here, I was going to buy it.

    But thanks to your information, I think the money would be better spent on a scent.
    Renato

  8. #8
    Renato's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Vilest Scent Ever - Sécrétions Magnifiques

    Quote Originally Posted by everso View Post
    i trust you guys when you say THIS IS VILE...

    however i am just SO curious to smell this, just to see HOW vile it really is...
    I know I would be too, if I'd read a post like this from someone like me.

    The only two scents I've ever really canned hard were Quorum and What About Adam?, while there have been a few others that I just said I disliked somewhat.

    Compared to Sécrétions Magnifiques, I today feel that Quorum and What About Adam? are nearly angelic by comparison.

    As I write this, the memory of the scent keeps coming back to me, making me feel nauseous.

    I wonder what would have happened if the Military had used it at Guantanamo Bay?
    Renato
    Last edited by Renato; 15th May 2008 at 12:53 PM.

  9. #9

    Default Re: The Vilest Scent Ever - Sécrétions Magnifiques

    My sample is on the way..I too want to know exactly how vile it really is.

    What's bilge anyway???

  10. #10
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    Default Re: The Vilest Scent Ever - Sécrétions Magnifiques

    Bilge from Wikipedia (link here):

    First coined in 1523, the bilge referred to the lowest compartment on a ship where the two sides meet at the bottom. The term bilge itself is sometimes used to describe the water that collects in this compartment. Water that does not drain off the side of the deck drains down through the ship into the bilge. This water may be from rough seas, or rain or both. The water that collects in the bilge must be pumped out if it becomes too full and threatens to sink the ship. This water is pumped out of the vessel at a later time.

    Bilge water can be found aboard every vessel, but its composition is always unique. Because the bilge wells receive fluids from many parts of the ship, bilge water can contain water, oil, urine, detergents, solvents, sweat, blood, chemicals, pitch, saliva, particles, and so forth.

    By housing water in a compartment, it keeps it beneath the decks, making it safer for the crew to operate the vessel and for people to move around in strong weather.

    The development of bilge pumps went from buckets, to hand pumps, and now electric bilge pumps are available for even small vessels. Bilge coatings are applied to protect the surfaces. The water is often noxious, and "bilge water" is a derogatory term often used colloquially to refer to something bad, ruined, or fouled.

    A feature of the bilge is the swash plate, which serves to dampen the rush of water from side to side, which might destabilize the ship if allowed to run at will. The swash plates run fore and aft and have small openings near the bottom where the water is allowed to run through.
    Last edited by mikeperez23; 15th May 2008 at 01:08 PM.
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  11. #11
    Dimitrios's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Vilest Scent Ever - Sécrétions Magnifiques

    It must rank up there with Bandit by Robert Piguet .
    Horrible sickening juice .

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  12. #12

    Default Re: The Vilest Scent Ever - Sécrétions Magnifiques

    I wonder if Bilge is pronounced like Bile...which would also probably not smell good.

    You don't like Bandit? Are we talking the men's or the women's? The men's I'll agree with you, but the women's is quite nice.

  13. #13

    Default Re: The Vilest Scent Ever - Sécrétions Magnifiques

    Quote Originally Posted by Renato View Post
    I'd wager that this was the big one - it'd be impossible to make something worse. Can you actually conceive of anything worse?
    I can think of two that already exist: the Paris 1738 and Human Existence scents in the Mugler "Le Parfum" coffret.

    I don't think SM is nearly as bad as many here do, but I don't think I'd wear it.
    Life is a banquet...and I got botulism! -- Me

  14. #14
    Renato's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Vilest Scent Ever - Sécrétions Magnifiques

    Quote Originally Posted by mikeperez23 View Post

    Bilge water can be found aboard every vessel, but its composition is always unique. Because the bilge wells receive fluids from many parts of the ship, bilge water can contain water, oil, urine, detergents, solvents, sweat, blood, chemicals, pitch, saliva, particles, and so forth.
    After my experience, that description doesn't strike me as being too bad.
    Renato

  15. #15

    Default Re: The Vilest Scent Ever - Sécrétions Magnifiques

    I have found to wash off perfume oils - you treat it like poison ivy. Wash in COLD water, and use Zanfel (which has something that will stip off oils on your skin).

    Washing in warm water will cause the oils to bind to your skin - cold water will not have this process. Zanfel, I discovered when I was working in some woods that had poison ivy - and as I react to the oils in that plant severely, Zanfel took care of the worst of it. Ironically it is pretty good at removing perfume oils provided you do it under cold water.

    And while SM is not the vilest thing I have ever smelled, it is easily the worst that has been placed in a bottle and called "perfume." It's like a prank that the company is playing on the perfume buying public.
    ===
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  16. #16
    Renato's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Vilest Scent Ever - Sécrétions Magnifiques

    Quote Originally Posted by BlueDevilSF View Post
    I can think of two that already exist: the Paris 1738 and Human Existence scents in the Mugler "Le Parfum" coffret.

    I don't think SM is nearly as bad as many here do, but I don't think I'd wear it.
    I think you must have a stronger constitution than I have. Unfortunately, I have no way of checking out the Mugler scents.
    Renato

  17. #17
    Renato's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Vilest Scent Ever - Sécrétions Magnifiques

    Quote Originally Posted by Bromo33333 View Post
    I have found to wash off perfume oils - you treat it like poison ivy. Wash in COLD water, and use Zanfel (which has something that will stip off oils on your skin).

    Washing in warm water will cause the oils to bind to your skin - cold water will not have this process. Zanfel, I discovered when I was working in some woods that had poison ivy - and as I react to the oils in that plant severely, Zanfel took care of the worst of it. Ironically it is pretty good at removing perfume oils provided you do it under cold water.

    And while SM is not the vilest thing I have ever smelled, it is easily the worst that has been placed in a bottle and called "perfume." It's like a prank that the company is playing on the perfume buying public.
    Thanks for the tip on cold water, although I was thinking that the hot water would make the top and middle notes evaporate away in an accelerated fashion, and that the soap would strip what was left.

    I've never heard or seen Zanfel - but I've never looked for it either.

    I've grown up on farms and worked in a Petrol refinery and other industrial factories. This is the first smell which wasn't toxic, that made me instantly want to gag.

    I wonder if anyone who bought this blind appreciated the joke? I'd be feeling murderous.
    Renato

  18. #18

    Default Re: The Vilest Scent Ever - Sécrétions Magnifiques

    You know, when I first read about it, I almost ordered it from First in Fragrance in Germany. I decided to stick with Jasmin & Cigarettes instead.

    At this point, I'd almost be disappointed if it didn't make me gag.

  19. #19

    Default Re: The Vilest Scent Ever - Sécrétions Magnifiques

    I've always wondered why would anyone want to pay for someone else's BOTTLED secretions magnifique when they've got their own (secretions)


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  20. #20

    Default Re: The Vilest Scent Ever - Sécrétions Magnifiques

    Quote Originally Posted by javagreen View Post
    I've always wondered why would anyone want to pay for someone else's BOTTLED secretions magnifique when they've got their own (secretions)
    People pay a lot of money for other people's personal "belongings"...

  21. #21
    Renato's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Vilest Scent Ever - Sécrétions Magnifiques

    Quote Originally Posted by sofresh View Post
    You know, when I first read about it, I almost ordered it from First in Fragrance in Germany. I decided to stick with Jasmin & Cigarettes instead.
    It doesn't matter what Jasmine and Cigarettes smells like, you made the correct decision.
    Renato
    Last edited by Renato; 15th May 2008 at 03:14 PM.

  22. #22

    Default Re: The Vilest Scent Ever - Sécrétions Magnifiques

    Quote Originally Posted by Renato View Post
    It doesn't matter what Jasmine and Cigarettes smells like, you made the correct decision.
    Renato
    Well ... Jasmine et Cigarettes smells like ... Jasmine and Cigarette ashtray. Much preferable to SM.
    ===
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  23. #23

    Default Re: The Vilest Scent Ever - Sécrétions Magnifiques

    I ended up swapping the J&C away actually...too much cigarette for me and not enough jasmin.

    Thus far I love Etat's concepts, but don't really want to wear any of them. I'm looking forward to trying Tom of Finland. The only one I would really wear is the lavender (I forget what its called).

  24. #24

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    Default Re: The Vilest Scent Ever - Sécrétions Magnifiques

    Quote Originally Posted by sofresh View Post
    The only one I would really wear is the lavender (I forget what its called).
    Antihéros
    "Wovon man nicht lesen kann, darüber muss man schreiben."
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  25. #25

    Default Re: The Vilest Scent Ever - Sécrétions Magnifiques

    This brand is the perfume equalivant of 'shock rock' in music.

    *yawn*
    No guru, not method, no teacher
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  26. #26
    Renato's Avatar
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    Default Re: The Vilest Scent Ever - Sécrétions Magnifiques

    Quote Originally Posted by Domingo View Post
    This brand is the perfume equalivant of 'shock rock' in music.

    *yawn*
    Thanks, I didn't know that. Also, I wouldn't have guessed it, because the only other scent of theirs I tried there, before making myself ill with this one, was a masculine orange scent. Quite frankly it seemed a pretty traditional older style, masculine, citrus-woody scent that reminded of something in my collection (Homme de Gres perhaps).
    Renato

  27. #27

    Default Re: The Vilest Scent Ever - Sécrétions Magnifiques

    I was at a party last night and a very glam gal had it on. It actually worked on her. It created an aura of purity around her.

  28. #28

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    Default Re: The Vilest Scent Ever - Sécrétions Magnifiques

    I was going to mention Human Existence as well, but I am pretty sure that Mugler never meant for sweet young things from Scarsdale to spritz it on at Bendels. SM I think I referred to as Eau de CSI: Coney Island.

  29. #29

    Default Re: The Vilest Scent Ever - Sécrétions Magnifiques

    ^ Interesting. I was wondering if people actually wore it in public!

  30. #30

    Cool Re: The Vilest Scent Ever - Sécrétions Magnifiques

    Quote Originally Posted by Renato View Post
    Thanks, I didn't know that. Also, I wouldn't have guessed it, because the only other scent of theirs I tried there, before making myself ill with this one, was a masculine orange scent. Quite frankly it seemed a pretty traditional older style, masculine, citrus-woody scent that reminded of something in my collection (Homme de Gres perhaps).
    Renato
    LOL euhm, it's not to be taken as a 'fact', it's just the way I feel about this stuff. So please take it with a grain of salt (a bucket maybe) and by all means explore this house for yourself if you feel like it.

    What I meant is, that IMO, this house serves no other purpose than to shock and awe, just like 'shock rock bands'.
    These bands don't write good songs, its members more than often are not exceptional singers and players, but they all have some sort of 'gimmick' which draws lots of media attention.

    Remember a band called 'Rockbitch'? Nuff said...
    Last edited by Domingo; 16th May 2008 at 05:55 PM.
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