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  1. #1

    Default I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

    Some of you may have heard of that perfume that is supposed to smell like a lady's private parts. I ordered it and shared it with coworkers, for science and for fun.

    First, if you ordered it, you would be disappointed twice. I thought it would get me a 50ml cologne bottle, but it is actually a 2 ml vial, with an oily liquid in it. It isn't oily like a perfume oil - it is more oily like a water based lube, or like a ... natural lubricant. That part was well done.

    You will be disappointed again with the smell. My coworkers agreed in general that it has "something" that you can associate with a woman's parts, but unless you are told so, you might not even make the association. But it could smell like... another animal's parts. I wouldn't know, but it does smell "kinky", and like a natural liquid could. Just not close enough to what I, or my coworkers have experienced.

    Don't worry though, it does not smell dirty or disgusting. There was a video review on youtube where people recoiled at the smell, but I don't think you would have this reaction unless an actual, male stranger made you smell his finger like they did in the review.

    Maybe some people will wear this on their wrist for personal enjoyment, and it isn't bad, although it is not in any way a "perfume". The 2 ml vial will last a long time too.

    By the way, the only coworker who kinda liked it was a female coworker. I told her what it was, she tried it, then she said - and I kid you not - "Smells like piss. It's quite good." Sadly, she is already married.

    Another funny but sad note: All but one coworker preferred Vulva to Assam Kinam, a 100$ 0.5 ml vial of Oud I bought at Oriscent. But I think social pressure caused this. None of them gave it a serious try and they didn't seem interested in really giving themselves a chance to grow to like it, it was more fun to say "it smells like shit" in a group. My one coworker who actually tends to try new things in life (he has thousands of spices, natural oils, etc.) ended up really, really loving the oud.
    Last edited by beltz; 17th December 2008 at 05:55 PM.

  2. #2

    Default Re: I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

    sounds bearable enough to begin with....atleast not like the migraine inducing Secretions magnifiques...

  3. #3

    Default Re: I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

    Smells like piss. It's quite good." Sadly, she is already married.
    So you feel attracted to women who like the smell of piss

    I don't know if the smell of a vulva is something good. Make no mistake I love vulvas, but if there's any smell down there this is not necessarily a good thing
    For sale: Nemo Cacharel 1,7OZ (30ML) 99% full

  4. #4

    Default Re: I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

    My feelings on the subject:

    I love the smell of meat. A nice steak mmmmmm, cajun tuna mmmmm, mesquite chicken mmmmm, flame broiled hamburger mmmmmm, a vulva mmmmm but I would never like to smell like any of them.

    - Al

  5. #5

    Default Re: I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

    For meat lovers, I recommend trying Vintage Varvatos and Dirty English.

  6. #6

    Default Re: I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

    Funny post. And inspiring to watch the inexorable march of science.

  7. #7

    Default Re: I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

    a vulva mmmmm
    Mmmmm vulva with BBQ sauce...mmmmm
    For sale: Nemo Cacharel 1,7OZ (30ML) 99% full

  8. #8

    Default Re: I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

    Great post!

  9. #9

    Default Re: I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

    Fairly recently I accidentally ended up in bed with a woman I know (yes it's possible). We didn't have sex but I did go down on her, several times actually (I do rather enjoy visits to that area). For the rest of the day up until me showering I kept getting this wonderful smell from time to time. It was from the moustache part of my goatee ensemble. It was a delicious and sexy smell.

    If Vulva smells anything like vulva, then yummy frankly. Kiehls Musk or MKK are a poor second IMO.
    In a world where people smell bad, it is the personal responsibility of every Basenoter to improve the world one SotD at a time...

  10. #10
    kopah's Avatar
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    Default Re: I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

    Quote Originally Posted by HDS1963 View Post
    If Vulva smells anything like vulva, then yummy frankly. Kiehls Musk or MKK are a poor second IMO.
    MKK? You've got the wrong sex...
    Last edited by kopah; 18th December 2008 at 12:56 AM.

  11. #11

    Default Re: I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

    Quote Originally Posted by anak View Post
    My feelings on the subject:

    I love the smell of meat. A nice steak mmmmmm, cajun tuna mmmmm, mesquite chicken mmmmm, flame broiled hamburger mmmmmm, a vulva mmmmm but I would never like to smell like any of them.

    - Al
    Exactly. That is the part that I will never get about this hobby...people wanting to actually smell bad or like certain things just to do it.. I'm sorry but experimental for me will never be smeling like a body part, a secretion or anything of that nature just to say I did it. I buy for myself to enjoy and hopefully for others to share that enjoyment. Grossing people out isn't included in it. Now I know the depth of this hobby for some goes this far and the actually like it. I just will never get there. I love this smell and experience when I'm there in person but don't want to spray it on.
    Last edited by ToughCool; 18th December 2008 at 02:13 AM.
    "As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round."
    --Ben Hogan

  12. #12

    Default Re: I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

    I think some people get those more kinky fragrances for their own enjoyment though. Many find MKK downright sexy or sexual, and would wear it at home, or want their lover to wear it during intimate moments.

    In my case, I'm a guy, and I buy feminine perfumes to wear at home only because as much as I like the smell of a women wearing perfume, I might as well smell that when I'm alone too. And other scents such as aoud, I find a bit too off-putting to wear outside, but I wear at home because I love smelling my arm every few minutes when I wear this.

    Vulva is probably like that too, someone who finds it kinky would wear it at home, pajamas around his ankles, ya know?

  13. #13

    Default Re: I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

    Quote Originally Posted by kopah View Post
    MKK? You've got the wrong sex...
    I second this. MKK smells like one of my uncles I would not trust around children :P

  14. #14

    Default Re: I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

    Quote Originally Posted by ToughCool View Post
    Exactly. That is the part that I will never get about this hobby...people wanting to actually smell bad or like certain things just to do it.. I'm sorry but experimental for me will never be smeling like a body part, a secretion or anything of that nature just to say I did it. I buy for myself to enjoy and hopefully for others to share that enjoyment. Grossing people out isn't included in it. Now I know the depth of this hobby for some goes this far and the actually like it. I just will never get there. I love this smell and experience when I'm there in person but don't want to spray it on.
    I remember reading a thread somewhere in the dusty Basenotes archives regarding the misconception that Japanese don't like fragrance. I think the point was that they (and this is obviously a generalization) in fact do enjoy fragrance, just not applied to the body, i.e. incense, etc. I suppose it makes sense in a way - if you don't like a smell, you can just walk away or move to another space, whereas when you annoint yourself, you're pretty much stuck with it for a while. For myself, I like smelling odd fragrances, but there are a select few that I wouldn't wear in public for the same reasons you mentioned, tc.
    Everyone is entitled to his own opinions, but not his own facts. Daniel Moynihan

  15. #15

    Default Re: I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

    Quote Originally Posted by Snafoo View Post
    I remember reading a thread somewhere in the dusty Basenotes archives regarding the misconception that Japanese don't like fragrance. I think the point was that they (and this is obviously a generalization) in fact do enjoy fragrance, just not applied to the body, i.e. incense, etc. I suppose it makes sense in a way - if you don't like a smell, you can just walk away or move to another space, whereas when you annoint yourself, you're pretty much stuck with it for a while. For myself, I like smelling odd fragrances, but there are a select few that I wouldn't wear in public for the same reasons you mentioned, tc.
    Well said. I get that many here enjoy the differences and nuances of scents and that includes pushing the limits...and some love the different smells. I just think that testing it to see what it is like or personally using it and buying a scent are two different things. We are all here for different reasons. Just knowing myself, I could be here 3 years and this isn't an area I would venture to no matter how advanced I get. Again, I think it is fascinating that people want to try it and like it. Just not my cup of tea....well vulva is...not just as a cream or spray on..
    Last edited by ToughCool; 18th December 2008 at 02:51 AM.
    "As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round."
    --Ben Hogan

  16. #16

    Default Re: I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

    Quote Originally Posted by HDS1963 View Post
    I did go down on her, several times actually (I do rather enjoy visits to that area). For the rest of the day up until me showering I kept getting this wonderful smell from time to time. It was from the moustache part of my goatee ensemble. It was a delicious and sexy smell.
    *looks arouns shiftily*

    Completely agreed, although I don't keep a moustache or a goatee myself


    PVC and Leather. A Chain and a feather




  17. #17

    Default Re: I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

    How is the longevity on that? I'd imagine it's better than the male counterpart - Wang - which many find has longevity measured in mere minutes.

    :bounce:
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  18. #18

    Default Re: I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

    Quote Originally Posted by SculptureOfSoul View Post
    How is the longevity on that? I'd imagine it's better than the male counterpart - Wang - which many find has longevity measured in mere minutes.

    :bounce:
    That, was very, very funny. lol
    In a world where people smell bad, it is the personal responsibility of every Basenoter to improve the world one SotD at a time...

  19. #19

    Default Re: I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

    Sheeese...I thought you all were refering to Alexander McQueen's Kingdom

  20. #20

    Default Re: I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

    I'm actually curious to try this, just to see if it can render some of the same instinctual responses as the actual odor. I'm very intrigued by the use of human elements in perfume - not typically as straightforward as this but human elements wrapped into a larger concept (eg: Mugler Cologne's S-note).
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  21. #21

    Default Re: I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

    Well you guys are funny. My husband has been looking up as I've read this saying "how could you be laughing about perfume?"

  22. #22

    Default Re: I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

    Quote Originally Posted by SculptureOfSoul View Post
    I'm actually curious to try this, just to see if it can render some of the same instinctual responses as the actual odor. I'm very intrigued by the use of human elements in perfume - not typically as straightforward as this but human elements wrapped into a larger concept (eg: Mugler Cologne's S-note).
    Don't bother, it's mainly smells of cumin.

    Of course I was curious about this too a couple of years ago, but it probably smells like the private parts of a 400 pound woman who eats two large plates of curry six times a day. Not that I actually ever really smelled that, btw, but I do have a vivid imagination.


    Unfortunately...
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    Just you and I and nature

  23. #23

    Default Re: I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

    ew vulva cologne ..what kinda of nastiness. ha ha

  24. #24

    Default Re: I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

    Vulva? I would have loved to see the brainstorming session when they were searching for a title for this one - Eau D'Pussy, Cuntessence, Quim For Him, Muffsouko...

  25. #25

    Default Re: I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

    [QUOTE=brianroy;1384984]So you feel attracted to women who like the smell of piss

    ohhh zinger! Good one!

  26. #26
    Pollux's Avatar
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    Default Re: I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

    Isn't it Aqua Vulva?

    Saw it in one of Ren & Stimpy's episodes, a very horny duck applies itself tons of Aqua Vulva in order to seduce Stimpy, to no avail since Ren atacks him and, well, faints.

    Wonder it smells like... sea fruits, or fish.

    Would like to try it, as well as ELDO's Secretions Magnifiques. Unfortunately, unavailable down here.

  27. #27

    Default Re: I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

    Quote Originally Posted by Galamb_Borong View Post
    Vulva? I would have loved to see the brainstorming session when they were searching for a title for this one - Eau D'Pussy, Cuntessence, Quim For Him, Muffsouko...
    Now those are some rather creative names


    PVC and Leather. A Chain and a feather




  28. #28

    Default Re: I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

    Quote Originally Posted by ToughCool View Post
    I love this smell and experience when I'm there in person but don't want to spray it on.
    You don't have a need, but for some of us, a fragrance is our only chance.

    And yeah, this turned into a very funny thread.

  29. #29
    Pollux's Avatar
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    Default Re: I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

    Quote Originally Posted by javagreen View Post
    Now those are some rather creative names
    Someone already did: Pussy De Luxe, by Maurer & Wirtz -

    http://www.m-w.de/english/product-pussydeluxe.html

    Seen the pic? Wonder what my wife would think if I would give it for her b'day - "C'mon honey! This won't do... you already had enough sex for the whole year".

    BTW, no perfume won't work as good as a good conversation regarding perfumes - I believe the topic is a catcher for the ladies. Yesterday I got ten samples from a lady working as an SA (and she was gorgeous) at a local dept store after trying some fragrances and holding a thirty minute long conversation about personal tastes and preferences.

  30. #30

    Default Re: I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

    Quote Originally Posted by brianroy View Post
    So you feel attracted to women who like the smell of piss

  31. #31
    DON'T DRINK AND DRESS

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    Default Re: I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

    Get ready Australia. I understand that an intense advertising campaign for Vulva is about to begin Down Under
    Our job is to live joyfully in this world of sorrows--Joseph Campbell

  32. #32
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    Default Re: I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

    Quote Originally Posted by beltz View Post
    Don't worry though, it does not smell dirty or disgusting.
    Well, of course not! Vaginas aren't dirty in the first place. Now, I don't have vast experience in this area, and here at BN, I'm amongst friends so...I smell wonderful. With me as the reference vulva, I'll suggest women are salt-water marine with a soupçon of beeswax, coriander, and on some days a bit of the civet, but just a bit. Vaginas ought to smell like what they are: warm, cozy, and inviting. Of course in the right intimate situation, one could simply layer a bit of one's own "original" with a fragrance, "lama lo?" ("why not?")
    What do insomniac perfumers do to fall asleep? They count chypres!

  33. #33

    Default Re: I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

    The cost of this stuff is nearly double that of a Clive Christianson fragrance. When looking at the cost per ML, Vulva is nearly $12-13 per ML!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Insanity.

  34. #34

    Default Re: I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

    I suppose that makes the real thing cheaper, at least in some areas.
    ***For sale:

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    Ungaro I 75ml

    and more!
    - http://www.basenotes.net/threads/301...n-Man-and-more

  35. #35

    Default Re: I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

    I was smelling of vulva on a tube train once, nobody said anything but it felt a bit awkward.

  36. #36
    Basenotes Junkie Nosebud's Avatar
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    Default Re: I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

    Quote Originally Posted by HDS1963 View Post
    Fairly recently I accidentally ended up in bed with a woman I know (yes it's possible). We didn't have sex but I did go down on her, several times actually (I do rather enjoy visits to that area). For the rest of the day up until me showering I kept getting this wonderful smell from time to time. It was from the moustache part of my goatee ensemble. It was a delicious and sexy smell.

    If Vulva smells anything like vulva, then yummy frankly. Kiehls Musk or MKK are a poor second IMO.
    ... paying for benefits you never collect?

  37. #37
    CologneFan85
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    Default Re: I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

    My bud just showed me a commercial of this. Had some chick sniffing her own pa.ties . Pretty rancid

    - - - Updated - - -

    My bud just showed me a commercial of this. Had some chick sniffing her own pa.ties . Pretty rancid

  38. #38

    Default Re: I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

    My friends, remember this axiom

    If it smell like fish, do what you wish
    If it smells like cologne, leave it alone
    John aka Easykiller

  39. #39
    Basenotes Junkie Wheatstraw2's Avatar
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    Default Re: I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

    I'm surprised that no one ever mentions Cartier Pasha in this context.

  40. #40

    Default Re: I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

    I am not surprised that people don't like oud to start with, it smells pungent but once it grows on you, it starts smelling great (at least to you).

    Amusing story, glad you are not my friend. I am always intriguing by who comes up with this type of perfume and what is the market they are after.

  41. #41

    Default Re: I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

    Hey guys, I actually sent away to Germany and bought a vial of this VULVA scent; I was just too curious. About 30 euros. I am a seasoned perfumista accustomed to smelling many, many perfumes, and essential oils, both real and synthetic. And here is what VULVA is: cumin. That's right: All this VULVA cologne scent is is a tincture of cumin, perhaps laced with a very faint rose smell. That's it! If you're smelling pussy from this thing, it's all in your own scent memory. Not that cumin doesn't smell suspiciously like human sweat and healthy vaginal odor; it does... *somewhat*. I actually think a real, healthy vagina smells a little bit more animalic than this, not quite so botanical... Real pussy has a kind of "tigery" smell to it that VULVA ORIGINAL lacks, and seems a bit muskier. Funny, there are other perfumes on the market which, though not actually attempting to replicate "olor feminis", actually come a little bit closer to the real deal for me: Every now and then YSL OPIUM (femmes) has a tigery, animalic smell to it that actually reminds me more of pussy that VULVA ORIGINAL does. and, hey: have you ever smelled AGENT PROVOCATEUR (the original formula in the pink-enameled "breast-bomb" flacon)? Now that, kiddies, has a top-note of straight-up soiled woman's panties: urine mixed with musky undercarriage. Just sayin'. I'm a gay guy, but I've been with plenty of women in my life (I'm from Texas where every boy has to try it at least once) I've gone south on a couple, so I knows from whence I speaks. So, instead of dropping the 30Euros on VULVA ORIGINAL, go to your spice cabinet and make a thin paste of cumin and water. It's the same identical smell. Interestingly, perfumers have known of cumin's humanoid qualities for a lo-o-ong long time... It's nothing new. Cumin is the note one finds in the head of Alexander McQueen's KINGDOM, which others have likened to the smell of sweaty vagina. I apologize to the prudish and overly-polite members we might have reading this, but aren't you glad I kinda set this whole thing straight finally in plain terms?
    Last edited by rasputin; 21st April 2013 at 01:34 PM.

  42. #42

    Default Re: I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

    What a sad statement that we men can be sold a perfume called vulva while you can never sell the opposite to a woman. I'll let you guys think of funny names for a penile perfume for her.

  43. #43
    CologneFan85
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    Default Re: I went and bought that "Vulva" perfume

    Doesn't smell like a V to me

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