Sorry to hear about your relationship with your "soon-to-be-ex-wife".
I'm not too knowledgable about designer fragrances (I should really go and sniff them some time soon), but here are a couple of suggestions:
Paul Smith - Story
This is a citrus-y fragrance, with notes of grapefruit and vetiver. I really enjoy it, especially the basenotes. I'm not great at describing fragrances, but I would definitely suggest you try it! Also, the bottle is in the shape of a book, so sort of goes hand-in-hand with your library job.
Lalique - Encre Noir
I tried this vetiver-based fragrance a few days ago and I really like it. I'll probably buy a bottle as soon as I can. It's a dry, woody fragrance. I'm not sure about availability though, as it's not as widely distributed as most designer scents.