Code of Conduct
Results 1 to 16 of 16
  1. #1
    bluesoul's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Land of green chile, Albuquerque, NM
    Posts
    1,821
    Blog Entries
    21

    Default The Palisander Conspiracy

    Months ago, our own mikeperez23 was kind enough to mail me a sample of CdG Series 2 Red: Palisander. However I never ended up seeing it, and was quite disappointed that it either had been lost in the mail or stolen from my mailbox.

    It wasn't until a few weeks ago that I found out what happened to it.

    June 20th, 2008 (or thereabouts)

    There was a man, let's call him Mister P, though his name is actually...

    James P.
    1416 S 3rd St
    Louisville, KY 40208

    But this mysterious Mister P used to live at the address that I live at now, and on that fateful day he got the mail, including a padded envelope from Miami, Florida. Not realizing that it was not for him, but perplexed nonetheless, he opens the package. Inside is a tiny glass spray bottle, with one word on it in black on a white label.

    PALISANDER

    Mister P stared at the bottle, and bottle stared back at him as bottles are sometimes known to do in late June when you've had a few. He calls a few friends and asks them to come over and help him with a problem. Let's call them Dick and Jane, since I really don't know their names this time. They enter his small apartment and sit down across from him at the kitchen table. Mister P turns to them with a look of concern.

    "This was in the mail, it was supposed to be for the new tenant at 1420." He then reveals the tiny bottle, and the confusion was well-nigh palpable. Mister P looks at Jane and Jane looks at Dick and Dick looks at Mister P, then they alternate and look at the other person like a clichéd action movie. After a minute or two of silence, Dick spoke up.

    "It's drugs."

    Well, that much was obvious, they knew, It had to be drugs, what else comes in little bottles with one lousy word on it? And that new tenant looked shady! With his...beard, and his...beardness. Had to be drugs from Arabiastan. But another question was now obvious, and it was Mister P that spoke up.

    "Should I...give him back his drugs?"
    "Well, that's kind of awkward, isn't it?," Jane inquired. "Sorry for opening your drugs, here they are."
    "...You're right. We can't give it back."

    Dick, fresh off of parole, then took the logical next step.

    "Well...we can't give it back. Should we...try his drugs?"

    They looked at each other and all slowly nodded their assent. Mister P handed the bottle to Dick, hands shaking slightly.

    "Do you know what you're doing?"
    "Of course...you spray it in your mouth." Dick replied somewhat lamely. He took a few deep breaths, opened his mouth, inhaled and sprayed the mysterious Palisander with high hopes.

    And that's when all hell broke loose.

    Dick immediately began coughing a choking, hacking cough, a look of panic in his eyes.

    "Oh my God, it's poison!," Jane exclaimed, "That tenant is a terrorist! Dick, speak to me!"
    "It's...cologne."

    Silence hit the room like a ton of bricks, followed shortly thereafter by a sniffing of the air.

    "Huh. I guess it is. Well it's not very good, is it?"
    "I dunno, but it tastes awful."

    The End.
    Twitter - @DanielTharp
    DanielTharp.com has additional reviews and commentary.
    Always be content with what you have, never be content with what you are.

  2. #2
    Moderator

    Redneck Perfumisto's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Spiritually, Kansas
    Posts
    13,298
    Blog Entries
    37

    Default Re: The Palisander Conspiracy

    LOL! Can't wait for the movie! Seriously, that would be an awesome subplot.

    Little did they know that, to perfumistas and colognoisseurs, it actually WAS drugs!
    * * * *

  3. #3

    Default Re: The Palisander Conspiracy

    I wonder how Customs inspect fragrances. I mean, if you were to synthesize a drug into a liquid and add some kind of fragrance type smell to it, would they really be able to notice?
    Once Upon A Time In Nazi Occupied France...A Basterd's Work is Never Done ~ Inglourious Basterds

  4. #4
    Basenotes Institution
    mikeperez23's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Miami, FL
    Posts
    26,313

    Default Re: The Palisander Conspiracy

    Mister P. should've known that Palisander only tastes good served on the rocks. Duh.





    Seriously...that really happened? Oh sh*t. You killed me with the 'Arabiastan' line. ((giggle, giggle))

  5. #5
    bluesoul's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Land of green chile, Albuquerque, NM
    Posts
    1,821
    Blog Entries
    21

    Default Re: The Palisander Conspiracy

    It really happened, I may have dramatized it a bit but the dialog was all real and yeah. True story.
    Twitter - @DanielTharp
    DanielTharp.com has additional reviews and commentary.
    Always be content with what you have, never be content with what you are.

  6. #6

    Default Re: The Palisander Conspiracy

    THAT was HILARIOUS !!!!

    O M Gracious!
    You should send it to someone for publication. LOL
    "Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart: so doth the sweetness of a man's friend by hearty counsel."

  7. #7
    exquisitely me's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2009
    Location
    Cleveland Area, Ohio
    Posts
    372
    Blog Entries
    1

    Default Re: The Palisander Conspiracy

    LMAO!!!

    wow.... thanks bluesoul

  8. #8

    Default Re: The Palisander Conspiracy

    LOL! Now I've heard everything!

  9. #9

    Default Re: The Palisander Conspiracy

    What a hoot! And your thread title sounds like a Tom Clancy novel.

  10. #10

    Default Re: The Palisander Conspiracy

    That was awesome. You've got talent, kid!

  11. #11
    bluesoul's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Land of green chile, Albuquerque, NM
    Posts
    1,821
    Blog Entries
    21

    Default Re: The Palisander Conspiracy

    -Takes a bow-

    It just goes to show, the best stories are the true ones.
    Twitter - @DanielTharp
    DanielTharp.com has additional reviews and commentary.
    Always be content with what you have, never be content with what you are.

  12. #12

    Default Re: The Palisander Conspiracy

    Great one! After reading that I'd say one has to be very careful when sending samples of YSL Opium...

  13. #13

    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    Texas (formerly Boston)
    Posts
    3,089

    Default Re: The Palisander Conspiracy

    Good stuff!

    At least he didn't put in a syringe and try to shoot it!

  14. #14
    bluesoul's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2008
    Location
    Land of green chile, Albuquerque, NM
    Posts
    1,821
    Blog Entries
    21

    Default Re: The Palisander Conspiracy

    Bump for the afternoon crowd that didn't get to read it. Part 2 is coming up. :O
    Twitter - @DanielTharp
    DanielTharp.com has additional reviews and commentary.
    Always be content with what you have, never be content with what you are.

  15. #15

    Default Re: The Palisander Conspiracy

    Haha, I don't know if I like Part 1 or Part 2 better, but I don't blame the 'normal' people's reaction to small vials of code-named liquid arriving in small packages in the mail.

  16. #16
    DON'T DRINK AND DRESS

    kbe's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Location
    The Big Blue Marble
    Posts
    17,890
    Blog Entries
    1

    Default Re: The Palisander Conspiracy

    Great story! Fortunately for them it wasn't Kouros or the story would have been about Dr. Baden's post mortems on HBO
    Last edited by kbe; 21st February 2009 at 10:25 PM.
    Our job is to live joyfully in this world of sorrows--Joseph Campbell

Similar Threads

  1. Coriolan Conspiracy
    By sumandre in forum Male Fragrance Discussion
    Replies: 10
    Last Post: 13th January 2009, 04:15 AM
  2. Ava Luxe Palisander
    By foetidus in forum No longer missing fragrances
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: 8th November 2008, 07:16 AM
  3. Amor Pour Homme: A Review
    By scentemental in forum Male Fragrance Discussion
    Replies: 16
    Last Post: 30th January 2008, 11:39 PM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •