Buy both. Simply wear the Artisan when she's not around...
Sorry for the long post....
I should start out this post with a disclosure about my girlfriend: She is not basenotes material. We have been together for seven years, for six of those years she wore Intuition by E.L. every single day. She changed to Burberry after that and just bought another perfume (Daisy by Marc Jacobs) after I told her the advantages of having different scents for different seasons.
We were out of town on a mini vacation last weekend and stopped in a high end mall. I wanted to check out John Varvatos Artisan and she wanted to look at some cosmetics in Sephora. I sprayed the Artisan on my skin and thought it smelled pretty good, not great but good. I own the other two J.V. frags and figured I would end up buying this one to complete the collection. She absolutely HATED Artisan. Words cannot express her distaste for this frag.
We went back to the mall the next day and she picked up a bottle of Y.S.L. L'Homme and had me try it on my wrist. I thought it smelled bland and average, a statement I saw repeated in the basenotes reviews for it. She absolutely loved it! I preferred Artisan.
I came home and placed an order for a few frags as my last Sephora purchase was before Christmas. I had my must haves in the cart and it came down to whether or not I was going to buy Artisan or not. I ended up buying the YSL instead! You can call me whipped if you like, but I knew that the girlfriend thought that Artisan smelled like sewer water and she liked the YSL and ultimately if the people you love can't stand your scent, what is the point of buying?
Am I the only one who has settled on a frag to please someone else? I really doubt it! I am sure many many men have purchased frags in search of companionship that they don't like themselves, I am sure more have worn a fragrance purchased by a wife, a mother, by kids, that they did not like but can't bear to tell the truth because after all, it is the thought that counts.
Buy both. Simply wear the Artisan when she's not around...
You can try that. Don't tell her what it is and see what she say's. I've done that before and my gf was like, what's that?! that smells gooood!
I'm like...(moment of truth)...It's Kouros.
Last edited by BINGO; 23rd April 2009 at 03:43 AM.
If you ask me, you made a better choice by picking the L'Homme over the Artisan.... you won't miss anything by not owning Artisan.
PVC and Leather. A Chain and a feather
I don't wear things that my wife actively dislikes on days that I'm going to be around her, and I wear frags pretty lightly for the most part, partly out of respect for other people. But the perfume I wear brings me too much pleasure and clarity to not own things just because she dislikes them. If it's important to you, then not buying it doesn't seem like a compromise, it seems like a capitulation. Which is part of love, I suppose, but not without cost. Best of luck to you.
My wife is pretty cool.... she doesn't mind when I wear fragrances she doesn't like. I have a couple bottles that were 'her picks' that I might not otherwise have, but I don't wear them too often.
The need for compromise stems far more from what I want to spend on fragrances then what I'm actually wearing!
Somtimes its fun wearing stuff people dont like
my friend always teases he will "YSL Concentree Haute" me if I give him a hard time
Off-Site Decants =) (updated 05/16/12)
Interesting post, SirWill. I have grappled with this as well. I generally like to think that I wear fragrance for me - because I enjoy it.
But after 16 years of marriage, ya know, ya gotta give a little. And now, even my kids like to weigh in on my scent of the day.
After sampling Dzing for a while, I decided I loved it, and had the Mrs. check it - she hated it! I made the mistake of explaining a bit about the frag, and now she thinks I want to go around smelling like "fox pee and sawdust." Go figure.
So in my modest collection, I love them all, and I know that there are a few that she loves more than others. When we are together or out on the town, I wear those. Good luck, SirWill.
L'Homme is a very decent frag. If it makes your GF more attracted to you, then why not?
Thanks for your input. I suppose ultimately what it comes down to is that after a while of wearing a scent during the day I don't notice it as much as those around me. If I think I smell bland it will not affect me as much as much as if she thinks I smell like the bottom of a Porta Potty (and I have to hear about it all day). I suppose I should also add that she did attempt to buy me a frag once, it was Curve. Not my cup of tea, but I wore the hell out of it for a couple of months, but only when around her. In exchange, she has tolerated my eccentricities very well. Creed Green Irish Tweed means nothing to her, but she did not say a word when I bought a bottle online for $150 bucks, and I have dragged her into so many stores looking at watches and hear nary a peep from her about how miserable she is once in the store. I got away with buying quite an expensive watch on our trip, so I suppose throwing in the towel on one fragrance is the least I could do.
She sounds like a keeper.
I wouldnt have a problem with it, and I dont see how it makes you "whipped". It makes sense, you dont want to offend your partner and its not like you guys will always agree on everything. Would you wear clothes she doesnt like to piss her off? Decorate the house in a style she hates? Its all about compromise. I personally enjoy both Artisan and L'homme, in fact, my girlfriend was the one who picked L'homme (must be something in it that attracts the ladies!) and while I have some scents she doesnt absolutely love, in general I would say I have good taste and none of my collection offends her
So you tolerated her wearing Intuition and Burberry for so long (well, you didn't say you like those on her or not?). Then it's only right that she tolerate you wearing The Artisan.
But you know, opinion on a perfume can change with time. They are frags which I hated at first but end up loving it at the end.
Like any relationship, a bit of give and take is good. My take. Buy the Artisan but don't wear it around her. Don't buy something you don't even like in the first place. It'll make you miserable.
I enjoy searching for scents that both of us like. My wife sometimes even offers to pay for them - an added bonus! I will wear those scents in the evening and at night, and she really likes it. I wear the ones she doesn't like when I'm not around her, and the ones in between (which is most of my scents) to work. It all works out. And another point - if you wear fragrances she likes often enough, not only will she tolerate a bigger wardrobe - she may get into fragrance herself.
I agree with xmen - don't buy stuff you hate - there will be plenty of frags that you both love. But likewise, don't NOT buy something you love, because you can wear it when you're not around her.
Hey SirWill, here's this gal's perspective. I thought for the longest time that perfume should be a gift given from one lover to another; if my husband didn't like it, what was the point? Well, I found one that I liked a lot, and asked for it for about three years. This past Christmas DH gave me a bottle, and with it the knowledge that he didn't particularly care for it. That enlightenment, that he didn't need to like everything I wear, spurred my latent perfume enthusiasm, and here I am! To make a long story somewhat short (the whole lo-o-ong thing is in my blog-- shameless plug here ) we seem to have drastically different tastes, as it turns out. He now says I've effectively confused him with everything I've put under his nose and that makes me sad, because when your SO appreciates your smell enough to say something, it's a beautiful thing. But it's okay not to agree on something so, in effect, trivial. However, if something gives him a headache or he really just doesn't like it, I won't wear it. Or I save it for my day off. There is actually one I tried recently that we agree very positively on. Perhaps a present is in my future....
I bought DH L'Homme for his birthday and we both enjoy it.
It sounds like you are both willing to compromise for each other...that's good and healthy! She seems like a cool person and a good GF. And congrats for being together for seven years!
There are really two purposes to wearing a fragrance or wearing fashion…to attract others, or to please yourself. While most CLAIM they dress to attract a mate, the truth is, most people kowtow to fashion trends or dress in what makes THEM happy, not what makes their spouse/mate happy. The same goes for fragrance.
If your objective is to appeal to someone…utilize your fragrance to that end…wear what pleases THEM. In private, sniff YOUR choices!
Last edited by Nymphaea; 23rd April 2009 at 06:56 AM.
Ok, SirWill, compromise is good.
You described Artisan as `not great but good` and as scent `to complete the collection`.
If you really love something\someone - you cannot live without it. And make whatever it takes to get it.
So your choice just shows me - you love your GF more than Artisan. it`s your choice - and that`s great choice!
As for me - I buy whatever I love - for me and my wife.
Sometimes she cannot bear some scent (Secretions Magnifique ELDO, Frangipani OJ, Zizan OJ make her literally sick) - so I wear them far from her and take a shower as soon as possible just for not disturbing her. And I wear the scents that pleased her for the time we are going to spend together.
Sometimes she getting used to scents I love - like my oud oil, or her vintage Estee Lauder perfume.
Sometimes she does not agree to wear feminine scents I bought to her - well, they are going to go or I end up wearing them. Like vintage Caline Jean Patou.
Whatever, my wife understands that there`re two hobbies of mine: soccer and perfumes. And she made a wise choice to explore those hobbies with me a little. And even share it (while she is fan of other clubs and other scents - but this is another thing. All of us are unique creatures, after all!!!).
Vetiver The Great!!!
I had to compromise more in the past. Since encouraging my wife to see the joy in fragrances she is able to appreciate the oriental "beasts" that had previously challenged her e.g. Ambre Sultan, Musk Ravageur, Chergui etc
I'm still well aware that she prefers Versace pour Homme over something like Vetiver Tonka, so every now and then I wear it - no biggy
Interesting Note: Recently she commented on the nice clean fragrance I was wearing, it was Kouros Tattoo edition... I should have shown her all the urinal accord posts.
A bit of both ways, really. My fiance is "half and half" on most of my frags, however she generally tends to let me get on with it. The only one we really agree on and mutually love is Old Spice. Since i've stopped wearing aquatics every day, she actually likes my scent less, but she's happy if i'm happy, I suppose.
I bought a bottle of Hugo Element to appease her and, despite my newfound love of fougere and green scents, i've actually grown to quite like it. So maybe, as I have always suspected and she has always insisted, she's right and i'm wrong. About everything.
Shrug, if you're not compromising on this issue with your loved ones, especially if the issue takes on negative attitudes, then read some literature on addiction :-p
I traded smoking and drinking for perfumes - no further compromises !
I can live with being called an addict and a narcissist. I don't need to wear perfume every day, by the way.
Last edited by narcus; 23rd April 2009 at 08:41 AM.
'Il mondo dei profumi č un universo senza limiti: una fraganza puo rievocare sensazioni, luoghi, persone o ancora condurre in uno spazio di nuove dimensioni emozionali' L. V.
Ha, I'll take my drinking and smoking of varietal matter then
Please feel free to check out my Swap Thread - Patou pour Homme, L'Instant de Guerlain PH Extreme, Dior Homme Intense, Pure Malt, Pure Coffee and many more! Click Here For My Swap Thread
Frags before Nags, playah.
Yeah, Ive bought bottles just to please certain girls I hang around with. If one of them says for example, "Fuel for Life smells sooooo nice", then it'll be higher up on my To Buy list. I've bought Roberto Cavalli Man, Fuel for Life, Ed Hardy Love and Luck, Emporio Armani DIamonds all based on female friends recomendations. Actually, I think it all comes down to you being into frags as a hobby or just a way of smelling nice. Hobbyists I find tend not to care about what others think, while the others do and wear whats accepted by society.