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  1. #1

    Default My wife thinks i have an obssesion.

    I am beginning to believe her. She walked in on me again browsing this site of course and she then replied that she thinks that i really need some professional help ( dead serious ) under normal circumstances i would just brush this off, but after every purchase i keep mumbling the famous phrase ( the last one ) like a crack addict ! For example i purchased 5 blind buys this week alone 3 Kenzo's, Mitsouki and Rocabar that would put me over 60 + which might not sound too bad, but consider i started collecting June of last year. So is this normal and if so how long did it take to to shake the demons ?
    Last edited by DustB; 31st May 2009 at 07:11 PM.

  2. #2

    Default Re: My wife think i have an obssesion.

    I guess the first question that needs to be asked is: does your wife share your interest in fragrances? I think that would put things in perspective.

    To tell you the truth, your thread has made me wonder if I have a problem too! Fortunately, my wife is also a perfume enthusiast (for much longer than I've been), but she doesn't buy anywhere near as much stuff as I do.

  3. #3

    Default Re: My wife think i have an obssesion.

    She owns maybe 10 herself, but maybe from a couple of years .

  4. #4

    Default Re: My wife think i have an obssesion.

    I have 65 full bottles.

    My girlfriend encourages me.
    Last edited by Royal; 31st May 2009 at 03:23 PM. Reason: actually counted my bottles :D

  5. #5

    Default Re: My wife think i have an obssesion.

    My girlfriend shares a little bit of interest. Recently, she only likes niche releases. God bless her!

    And no... we don't need professional help (yet). If you blind buy 10 bottles of the same scent at the same time, then that's another story.
    Last edited by moltening; 31st May 2009 at 03:30 PM.

  6. #6

    Default Re: My wife think i have an obssesion.

    Yes, I see your problem...

    Quote Originally Posted by cmax View Post
    but after every purchase i keep mumbling the famous phrase ( the last one )
    Stop saying that. Accept that there is no "last one". You will then be cured.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: My wife think i have an obssesion.

    My fiancee has adjusted to my side of the bureau having 30+ bottles (and another 100+ in drawers) while her side has three. As long as I keep buying her Angel she is cool.

  8. #8

    Default Re: My wife think i have an obssesion.

    Cmax, it doesn't sound like your wife shares the same passion for perfume as you do, which is OK. So I think you need to put it into perspective - what if she were passionate about something you had very little interest in? Perhaps you'd think she needs therapy, when in fact she doesn't.

    However, if you're blowing money and it's cutting into your family finances or cutting into money you'd normally spend on your wife or kids (e.g., causing you to miss paying your electric bill, preventing you from going out to dinner with your wife, etc.), then you might have a problem. No hobby should interfere with your marriage and survival. If that's not the case, then I say enjoy your perfumes! I'm no therapist at all, just my own opinion.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: My wife think i have an obssesion.

    If you aren't spending money that ought to have been used to pay bills and other necessary expenses, and if you are using what you buy, it sounds like you're doing okay. Many of us have a number of fragrances in our collections, and there is a difference between a hobby and an obsession. It becomes unhealthy if it interferes with the rest of your life.

    Edit: Shamu1 and I are thinking alike!
    Last edited by 30 Roses; 31st May 2009 at 03:52 PM.

  10. #10

    Default Re: My wife think i have an obssesion.

    The first thing you need to do is talk to your wife (something that no-one has yet suggested). Talk to her, let her present her side of the argument and then explain that fragrance is a hobby. If necessary be willing to compromise on the amount of purchases.

    Secondly, if you are starting to think that you are developing an obsession then odds are, you are. It is when others try to tell you, that a behavior is normal, that it is just a hobby, that their girlfriends/boyfriends understand etc, that you really run the risk of becoming obsessed to the point of no return. Junkies, alcoholics and addicts of all stripes hear those exact same phrases from those that share their problem.

    Thirdly, try to put things into perspective. What would make you life worse; being unable to continue your hobby as avidly as you are now or losing your wife? Even if it is nowhere near that point, thinking like this helps us figure out what is truly important; and I'm sorry to say that perfume should rightly be at the bottom of the list (unless you make your living in the industry).
    Seek not the favor of the multitude; it is seldom got by honest and lawful means. But seek the testimony of few; and number not voices, but weigh them. - Immanuel Kant

  11. #11

    Default Re: My wife think i have an obssesion.

    You have been averaging a little over a bottle a week now for a year. That is quite a bit.

    There are a lot of things to contemplate in your situation. A few that stick out in my mind:

    Is your fragrance hobby causing you to neglecting financial responsibilities? That could include failing to pay bills or running up credit card debt or failing to accomplish needed things because there isn't enough money. Or even failing to save money for future goals.

    Does your wife feel you pay more attention to fragrances than her? If so, that would be a consideration. And if there are things that aren't affordable that she wants to do, she may blame that on fragrances. Say you used to take her out to dinner and you don't anymore because money is tight. She will blame the fragrance habit every time.

    Is space a consideration? If the collection produces clutter, that can affect a wife's feelings, especially if you are creating an eyesore or treading into her space.

    Are you that successful with blind buys? Five blind buys in a week! What is your success rate? 90%? I can't fault that. 50%? Perhaps you should start sampling and only buy what you really like. And if your wife sees you buying things that you don't like or don't have interest in, it will feed that negative impression.

    What are your fragrance collecting goals? To have a lot of things that you like to wear with some degree of frequency? Or just to have a lot of fragrances? I would suggest that you define your goals and keep them as narrow as they work for you.

    The bottom line is I don't know if you have a problem. I see warning signs though and the fact that your wife is concerned is not something to take lightly.

    And of course I am not expecting you to interact with these questions here (unless you want to), but hope that you would take time to think about them.
    Last edited by scentsitivity; 31st May 2009 at 04:53 PM.

  12. #12

    Default Re: My wife think i have an obssesion.

    My girlfriend encourages me as well, she sees anything I take interest in as important, to me at least, and respects me learning more about what I personally love, and I show her the same respect by only purchasing frags she also finds appealing, so this hobby stays in the positive realm.

    If your wife actually thinks you need professional help, sit her down and try to explain your true feelings on the issue to her, what fragrance collecting does for you and how it makes you feel. If she can't accept that, it's the Mitsouko or her!

  13. #13

    Default Re: My wife think i have an obssesion.

    Quote Originally Posted by scentsitivity View Post
    You have been averaging a little over a bottle a week now for a year. That is quite a bit.

    There are a lot of things to contemplate in your situation. A few that stick out in my mind:

    Is your fragrance hobby causing you to neglecting financial responsibilities? That could include failing to pay bills or running up credit card debt or failing to accomplish needed things because there isn't enough money. Or even failing to save money for future goals.

    Does your wife feel you pay more attention to fragrances than her? If so, that would be a consideration. And if there are things that aren't affordable that she wants to do, she may blame that on fragrances. Say you used to take her out to dinner and you don't anymore because money is tight. She will blame the fragrance habit every time.

    Is space a consideration? If the collection produces clutter, that can affect a wife's feelings, especially if you are creating an eyesore or treading into her space.

    Are you that successful with blind buys? Five blind buys in a week! What is your success rate? 90%? I can't fault that. 50%? Perhaps you should start sampling and only buy what you really like. And if your wife sees you buying things that you don't like or don't have interest in, it will feed that negative impression.

    What are your fragrance collecting goals? To have a lot of things that you like to wear with some degree of frequency? Or just to have a lot of fragrances? I would suggest that you define your goals and keep them as narrow as they work for you.

    The bottom line is I don't know if you have a problem. I see warning signs though and the fact that your wife is concerned is not something to take lightly.

    And of course I am not expecting you to interact with these questions here (unless you want to), but hope that you would take time to think about them.
    This may be one of the most beautifully written sentiments out there on fragrance and addiction.

    It deserves a plaque, to be posted onto the wall of Ernie Gallo's Fragrance Abuse Clinic.

  14. #14

    Default Re: My wife think i have an obssesion.

    Well, you have purchased quite a bit in one year! My experience, though, is after my first 50 bottles or so, I started to get pickier and find fewer fragrances FBW. Maybe you could set some kind of general parameters for yourself - like maybe only allow yourself one FB a month for a while or just keep track of how much you're spending and pledge to spend less in the coming year, than you did in the previous one. No need to go cold turkey!

  15. #15

    Default Re: My wife think i have an obssesion.

    If you're a member of basenotes, it may be an obsession
    I have: Davidoff Relax, Dior Homme Sport, Boss Selection, Azzaro Visit, and Creed MI (will provide # on bottle for verification) available.

    Looking for the following: DG The One, Himalaya, YSL L'Homme, John Varvatos (not vintage) Canali For Men or Paypal.

  16. #16

    Default Re: My wife think i have an obssesion.

    Quote Originally Posted by cmax View Post
    For example i purchased 5 blind buys this week alone 3 Kenzo's, Mitsouki and Rocabar that would put me over 60 + which might not sound too bad, but consider i started collecting June of last year.
    I'm guessing you have more of a problem with blind buying... Maybe a better way would be to focus on samples? I swore off blind buying completely, and typically getting a sample forestalls a purchase for me, or at least if I buy something I know I love it and will use it (or at least when I'm done with all of my samples )

    Even 'buying' samples is much more cost- and space-effective than getting blind bottles.

    With a big collection like yours, you may not even have to pay for samples, you can just trade samples with other BNers -- it takes a bit of time and effort, but if this keeps you occupied and having fun, maybe you won't need to keep buying as many bottles!

    Hope this helps!
    Last edited by kess; 31st May 2009 at 05:21 PM.
    For sale: Armani Prive (Cuir, Jade), Yves Rocher, Artisan Ambre body cream http://community.basenotes.net/showthread.php?t=228894

  17. #17

    Default Re: My wife think i have an obssesion.

    Quote Originally Posted by scentsitivity View Post
    You have been averaging a little over a bottle a week now for a year. That is quite a bit.

    There are a lot of things to contemplate in your situation. A few that stick out in my mind:

    Is your fragrance hobby causing you to neglecting financial responsibilities? That could include failing to pay bills or running up credit card debt or failing to accomplish needed things because there isn't enough money. Or even failing to save money for future goals.

    Does your wife feel you pay more attention to fragrances than her? If so, that would be a consideration. And if there are things that aren't affordable that she wants to do, she may blame that on fragrances. Say you used to take her out to dinner and you don't anymore because money is tight. She will blame the fragrance habit every time.

    Is space a consideration? If the collection produces clutter, that can affect a wife's feelings, especially if you are creating an eyesore or treading into her space.

    Are you that successful with blind buys? Five blind buys in a week! What is your success rate? 90%? I can't fault that. 50%? Perhaps you should start sampling and only buy what you really like. And if your wife sees you buying things that you don't like or don't have interest in, it will feed that negative impression.

    What are your fragrance collecting goals? To have a lot of things that you like to wear with some degree of frequency? Or just to have a lot of fragrances? I would suggest that you define your goals and keep them as narrow as they work for you.

    The bottom line is I don't know if you have a problem. I see warning signs though and the fact that your wife is concerned is not something to take lightly.

    And of course I am not expecting you to interact with these questions here (unless you want to), but hope that you would take time to think about them.
    No offense intended but questions like these are useless for someone who may be developing an obsession, as they will just answer them in such a way that "proves" that there is not a problem.
    Last edited by surreality; 31st May 2009 at 05:38 PM.
    Seek not the favor of the multitude; it is seldom got by honest and lawful means. But seek the testimony of few; and number not voices, but weigh them. - Immanuel Kant

  18. #18

    Default Re: My wife think i have an obssesion.

    further to my earlier post, check out the sample buying thread
    For sale: Armani Prive (Cuir, Jade), Yves Rocher, Artisan Ambre body cream http://community.basenotes.net/showthread.php?t=228894

  19. #19

    Default Re: My wife think i have an obssesion.

    Quote Originally Posted by surreality View Post
    No offense intended but questions like these are useless for someone who may be developing an obsession, as they will just answer them in such a way that "proves" that there is not a problem.
    I disagree, the validity of the questions should not be questioned by the ignorance/denial of the subject. If one isn't be honest with oneself, no self-report measures are going to be effective. That is a great guide that should be stickied in the Abuse Forum.

  20. #20

    Default Re: My wife think i have an obssesion.

    First , thanks for the replies. I will try to answer the best i can.
    1. #1 The purchases i have made, have NO WAY of stopping me providing for my family or 2 kids.
    1. # 2 They are also not interfering with our marriage in no way or form.
    1. # 3 It seems as if i am chasing that perfect scent maybe that's why ( I think )
    .
    1. # 4 I started off with a bunch of blind buys ( maybe 85% ) success rate then i began sampling once i started sampling the success for me went on a decline for some reason .
    OK by the answers that i provided is this normal?

  21. #21

    Default Re: My wife think i have an obssesion.

    Quote Originally Posted by cmax View Post
    First , thanks for the replies. I will try to answer the best i can.
    1. #1 The purchases i have made, have NO WAY of stopping me providing for my family or 2 kids.
    1. # 2 They are also not interfering with our marriage in no way or form.
    1. # 3 It seems as if i am chasing that perfect scent maybe that's why ( I think )
    .
    1. # 4 I started off with a bunch of blind buys ( maybe 85% ) success rate then i began sampling once i started sampling the success for me went on a decline for some reason .
    OK by the answers that i provided is this normal?
    I have to ask you, though, how serious is your wife when she suggests you see a therapist? If she's really serious, maybe it could interfere with your marriage.

    I have to say that I, for the moment, am a bit of a fragrance addict myself, so maybe my input isn't worth much. But the way I see it, you seem to have the mentality of a collector, just like a stamp collector, baseball card collector, antique collector, etc.. No one seems to criticize those people, although collecting perfumes can be pretty expensive. I have to confess that ever since I bought Luca Turin's book a year ago, I've been on a frenzy to buy every fragrance that I used to wear but for whatever reason stopped wearing, plus tons of new ones. Maybe I have a problem too. I can say, however, that you may be going through a phase - I've been into fragrances for about 13 years, and I go through a stretch of a few years where I'll just stick to my favorites like Equipage and Eau Sauvage and not buy anything new. Now, I happen, like you, to be in a mode where I want to get everything. I know I'm going to go back into "no purchase" mode soon, since my collection is up to almost 50 bottles.

  22. #22

    Default Re: My wife think i have an obssesion.

    Quote Originally Posted by shamu1 View Post
    Cmax, it doesn't sound like your wife shares the same passion for perfume as you do, which is OK. So I think you need to put it into perspective - what if she were passionate about something you had very little interest in? Perhaps you'd think she needs therapy, when in fact she doesn't.
    This I think is key. Perhaps she does not share the same passion for perfume that you do, but surely she must have her own passions, maybe there is something that she endulges herself in that you don't share the same interest in. Really, I think that it only becomes a problem, when your obsession begins to supersede real life, when you begin to spend money that should be spent on bills (or even your wife ) on yourself and your hobby. If it is not at this point your in the clear.
    <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><> <><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><>

    Obsessions of the Moment- Kristiansand EDC, Green Irish Tweed, Zizan

    Granted, we've known each other for some time. It don't take a whole day to recognize sunshine. ~ Common Sense

  23. #23

    Default Re: My wife think i have an obssesion.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sokkou View Post
    I disagree, the validity of the questions should not be questioned by the ignorance/denial of the subject. If one isn't be honest with oneself, no self-report measures are going to be effective. That is a great guide that should be stickied in the Abuse Forum.
    You are making the false assumption that when one is on the border of developing a complusive or obsessive behaviour that one can be honest with oneself. If someone who is becoming obsessive asks these types of questions of oneself, he/she will always answer in a way that validates his/her behaviour
    Last edited by surreality; 31st May 2009 at 08:18 PM.
    Seek not the favor of the multitude; it is seldom got by honest and lawful means. But seek the testimony of few; and number not voices, but weigh them. - Immanuel Kant

  24. #24

    Default Re: My wife think i have an obssesion.

    Quote Originally Posted by cmax View Post
    # 2 They are also not interfering with our marriage in no way or form.
    If your wife seriously thinks you need profesional help then it IS interfering with your marriage already. She may have only made that comment once but you can be sure that she has thought about it a hell of a lot more.
    Last edited by surreality; 31st May 2009 at 07:48 PM.
    Seek not the favor of the multitude; it is seldom got by honest and lawful means. But seek the testimony of few; and number not voices, but weigh them. - Immanuel Kant

  25. #25

    Default Re: My wife thinks i have an obssesion.

    And seeking psychological help - each session equals the cost of a bottle of niche fragrance.
    Last edited by adonis; 31st May 2009 at 07:58 PM.

  26. #26

    Default Re: My wife thinks i have an obssesion.

    Honestly, if this is just fun hobby of yours that does NOT impact your financial life and more important issues, then it is not something serious, I would imagine.

    It's no different than friends of mine who've collected more than 50 pairs of Air Jordan sneakers. They are collectors. . and they don't even wear them! I have female friends with more than 100 pairs of shoes. I myself have over 50 hats of different styles. I like it, and i have the disposable income to not have it impact my life.

    On the other hand, SERIOUSLY examine what it is that drives your obsession to find the perfect scent, and why that means bottles as blind buys, rather than mass-ordering samples, which is much smarter and much more logical.

    Having suffered from an obsession over my body's build and musculature, I learned later on in life that many forms of obsession (and Obsessive Compulsive Disorders) arise because it allows the person to take control of one area in their life when they are not in control of other areas that they wish they had control over

    So, essentially, if you are using this hobby and your ability to "control" numerous aquisitions (as others do with calories, their body, order of items around themselves,etc) then you need to step back and consider all aspects of your life.

    If something negative about one part of your life is driving this "hunt" then you certainly should take a step back and chill out, and seek professional help. If not, I wouldn't worry too much about it.

    Personally, I started freaking out after 30+ aquisitions in the past 8 months, and the NEED to be checking this site every single day for every single thread. I've made a firm decision of no more purchases until August and now i only come on here every couple of days. A week off while travelling did wonders for my "obsession". Maybe you should do the same.
    Last edited by Uppercut; 31st May 2009 at 09:19 PM.

  27. #27

    Default Re: My wife thinks i have an obssesion.

    Just use some common sense. Do you:

    1. Spend money on frags that you really need for something else?

    2. Think about (or research, or talk about) frags when you have more important things to do or think about?

    Isn't it that simple?
    Last edited by Bigsly; 31st May 2009 at 09:27 PM.

  28. #28

    Default Re: My wife thinks i have an obssesion.

    Do what I do, sell off your worst frags to make money for the new ones, just by doing that you will be spending much less net and be able to buy new scents occasionally. 1 frag a week is pretty crazy though.

  29. #29

    Default Re: My wife thinks i have an obssesion.

    One thing I've come across in my swapping is that a lot of people are willing to swap 2 for 1, 3 for 1. etc., just to get rid of some bottles they no longer want, so that's a good option to consider. Also, when ebay has a free listing promotion, I pop a bunch of frags up there and usually sell a few.

  30. #30

    Default Re: My wife thinks i have an obssesion.

    An obsession is a problem only when it's not by CK.

  31. #31
    Dependent

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    Default Re: My wife think i have an obssesion.

    Quote Originally Posted by MadScientist View Post
    Yes, I see your problem...



    Stop saying that. Accept that there is no "last one". You will then be cured.
    Couldnt have put it better myself. Ive had issues in the past while on BN about buying just for the sake of it. expanding for no cause.

    If you are financially sound and responsible about family matters , then i really see no wrong in spending on what you enjoy doing.

    If it makes you feel better no one i know in person thinks that its normal to be such involved in perfume/scemts/frags. Guess thats Singapore for you, except for the few exceptions of other rare Singaporean BN members. Its much harder for us in Asia to be able to organize meet ups as much as you guys in the west i reckon.

    It cane to a pt where members would ask if i actually enjoyed the whole experience of buying and sampling etc. And it dawned on me that it was a much more complicated issue at hand which i wont discuss. My point is as long as it still brings you joy, like how golf or gambling brings to those involved, then i really dont see to much of an issue other than u prolly feeling the slight guilt which often comes with indulgence.

    Then there prolly will come a pt where Bigsly's mention, makes sese, coz habits that form can cause the initial novelty to wear off very easily.

    Take a break from purchasing habits and see how you react to it. I honestly dont see too big of an issue at the moment.

    As mentioned, the trade section allows for offloadinf or swapping anything you may regret or grow tired of.

    Surreality made a good pt on setting goals.

    both of us started off at about the same time with BN btw
    ive learnt alot from the more experienced members and i still continue to learn. its a great and fun and enreaching goal for me...
    Last edited by MFJ; 1st June 2009 at 12:07 AM.

  32. #32

    Default Re: My wife think i have an obssesion.

    Quote Originally Posted by surreality View Post
    No offense intended but questions like these are useless for someone who may be developing an obsession, as they will just answer them in such a way that "proves" that there is not a problem.
    Perhaps I did not state it clearly enough, but some of the questions I posed should have inputs from all the involved parties. They were not intended as "self-evalution in a vacuum" questions. Specifically, besides self-evaluation, the first three questions I suggested would need to be discussed with the wife. If sufficient resolution did not occur, a counelor's input could be helpful.

    The original poster made a very important statement when he said:

    I am beginning to believe her. [regarding having an obsession]

    If someone can be brought to the point of believing they have a problem, it is an important step to getting resolution. Indeed, I don't see real help coming without a change of beliefs.

  33. #33

    Default Re: My wife think i have an obssesion.

    It's all relative. Perfumistas are simply people who enjoy fragrance. Would people be as quick to comdemn the wine connoisseurs out there who enjoy wine and enjoy several bottles a week, trying different vintages and different cellars?

    What of the woman with too many shoes? We tend to chuckle over this, too.

    Check out the section on fragrance abuse if this is something you are concerned over.
    "No sweet perfume ever tortured me more than this." Desert Rose by Sting and Cheb Mami, Album 1999.

  34. #34

    Default Re: My wife thinks i have an obssesion.

    Ok, i sat down for a couple of hours and really read and thought about whats been posted and the response etc . And my conclusion is that it's just another hobby that i really enjoy, just like past hobbies i went through ( surround sound , electronics and movies etc) so as of now i don't think it's really a problem. BTW did i say i own well over 400 dvds.

  35. #35

    Default Re: My wife thinks i have an obssesion.

    Quote Originally Posted by cmax View Post
    I am beginning to believe her. She walked in on me again browsing this site of course and she then replied that she thinks that i really need some professional help ( dead serious ) under normal circumstances i would just brush this off, but after every purchase i keep mumbling the famous phrase ( the last one ) like a crack addict ! For example i purchased 5 blind buys this week alone 3 Kenzo's, Mitsouki and Rocabar that would put me over 60 + which might not sound too bad, but consider i started collecting June of last year. So is this normal and if so how long did it take to to shake the demons ?
    I'm at 40 and I just started 3 months ago. Ha ha. I think I've payed as much or maybe more for my decant collection that I try before I buy the full bottle. My wife won't mind unless I need more space than my mini-fridge. (It's about 5 bottles shy of being filled).

    After I save up some for 3 or 4 Montales, I'll really be done. (I hope).

  36. #36

    Default Re: My wife thinks i have an obssesion.

    Quote Originally Posted by PorkFat View Post
    I'm at 40 and I just started 3 months ago. Ha ha. I think I've payed as much or maybe more for my decant collection that I try before I buy the full bottle. My wife won't mind unless I need more space than my mini-fridge. (It's about 5 bottles shy of being filled).

    After I save up some for 3 or 4 Montales, I'll really be done. (I hope).
    I feel a little better now. lol

  37. #37

    Default Re: My wife thinks i have an obssesion.

    I wonder if the issues isn't how much money you spend, or how many bottles you have, but how much time you spend on this hobby. Perhaps your wife sees you spending more time on the internet pursuing perfumes than doing things with her? Maybe you just need to spend more time with her.

  38. #38

    Default Re: My wife thinks i have an obssesion.

    Quote Originally Posted by PorkFat View Post
    After I save up some for 3 or 4 Montales, I'll really be done. (I hope).

    Don't you worry - that'll just be the beginning

    It was for me.
    I'm a colognosaurus. Rawr!

  39. #39

    Default Re: My wife thinks i have an obssesion.

    Quote Originally Posted by perfume_addict View Post
    i wonder if the issues isn't how much money you spend, or how many bottles you have, but how much time you spend on this hobby. Perhaps your wife sees you spending more time on the internet pursuing perfumes than doing things with her? Maybe you just need to spend more time with her.
    good point!

  40. #40

    Default Re: My wife thinks i have an obssesion.

    Hopefully, you'll soon reach the point I'm at. I started about a year and a half ago, and got some cheapos to start. By a year in, I was swapping for samples and decants (on MUA), and now I feel I know what I want and have it, though I do some "fiddling around" here and there, mostly swaps. Someone else posted today about finding a better version of A*Men for example, but I know that even if it is the best chocolate frag out there, I should avoid it, because I have a decant of Borneo and I have Amour de Cacao, and they fit in my rotation. If you get too many and they are too diverse for you olfactory sensibility, then it can really play tricks on you and change your ability to appreciate frags you already own. So I guess you could say that now I am more fearful of new frags than have a desire to acquire them. LOL.

  41. #41

    Default Re: My wife thinks i have an obssesion.

    Luckily, it's a really mutual obsession in my house. While the hobby may be much more extreme for me, my GF is totally into it as well. We have a lot of fun testing and giving thoughts about scents. It wasn't her thing when I met her, but I've managed to make it so since.
    I'm a colognosaurus. Rawr!

  42. #42

    Default Re: My wife thinks i have an obssesion.

    i'm glad to see this is consistent across the Globe !! wives will be.....wives !!


    Quote Originally Posted by Royal View Post
    I have 65 full bottles.

    My girlfriend encourages me.
    Royal, thats the difference mate, she is not your wife yet ! (kidding, just kidding!!)


    Quote Originally Posted by Regis Philbin View Post
    If you're a member of basenotes, it may be an obsession
    Now thats the root cause of the problem, and not the wife
    Last edited by jenson; 1st June 2009 at 05:18 AM.

  43. #43

    Default Re: My wife thinks i have an obssesion.

    I have Asperger's syndrome which is often undiagnosed. One characteristic is obsessions or as we say 'special interests'. Usually expressed by acquiring a body of knowledge, collections or creating fantasy worlds. I would say I read more about fragrances than I buy so it is a 'minor special interest' to me. Fragrances would be a likely Asperger special interest because it involves acquiring a body of knowledge and collecting. Special interests can change, be harmless, harmful, useless, win a Nobel prize (Vernon Smith) or form the basis of a successful business (Microsoft?) or often lead to unemployment.

    Visit wrongplanet.net if you want to know more.

  44. #44

    Default Re: My wife thinks i have an obssesion.

    Quote Originally Posted by adonis View Post
    And seeking psychological help - each session equals the cost of a bottle of niche fragrance.
    ....per week!

  45. #45

    Default Re: My wife thinks i have an obssesion.

    I think I have an obsession with finding deals and buying stuff in general. Before I found this site I had a guitar, amp, effect pedal buying, selling, trading addiction. This hobby is a lot cheaper so my gf doesn't mind (as much).
    Want to buy/trade: looking for some escentric molecules kinski, I have a bunch of decants/samples including escentric 02 and escentric 01

    PM ME

  46. #46

    Default Re: My wife think i have an obssesion.

    Quote Originally Posted by MadScientist View Post
    Yes, I see your problem...



    Stop saying that. Accept that there is no "last one". You will then be cured.
    Awesome, haha
    unico grande amore.

  47. #47

    Default Re: My wife thinks i have an obssesion.

    My advice is you should try to imagine her collecting say fancy underwear, the shelves are beginning to fill up, she would spend more and more time reading about them and discussing them with other ladies.
    Quite honestly: would you accept this without any raised eyebrow, without any jealeousy?
    If the answer is no, try to change your way of collecting scents.

  48. #48

    Default Re: My wife thinks i have an obssesion.

    Quote Originally Posted by jrd4t View Post
    Don't you worry - that'll just be the beginning

    It was for me.
    I already broke my goal of slowing down or stopping until the Montales. I just picked up a ton of stuff at the Perfumania.com clearance sale. 4 oz Polo Modern Reserve for $23? L'homme Giftset for $32? Antidote for $25, Au Masculin for $13? Yeah, that's way too good of a deal to pass up and a lot of the good stuff is already cleared out.

  49. #49
    Dependent

    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    Singapore
    Posts
    8,223

    Default Re: My wife thinks i have an obssesion.

    Quote Originally Posted by PorkFat View Post
    ..... too good of a deal....
    often time my biggest weakness

  50. #50

    Default Re: My wife thinks i have an obssesion.

    Quote Originally Posted by PorkFat View Post
    I already broke my goal of slowing down or stopping until the Montales. I just picked up a ton of stuff at the Perfumania.com clearance sale. 4 oz Polo Modern Reserve for $23? L'homme Giftset for $32? Antidote for $25, Au Masculin for $13? Yeah, that's way too good of a deal to pass up and a lot of the good stuff is already cleared out.
    I look at a bottle -- and if i put it in terms of the time commitment, that really helps to slow down my buying. I.e. 50 ml = 6 months, 100 ml = 1 year. And I could put these $20 towards something I * really * like.
    For sale: Armani Prive (Cuir, Jade), Yves Rocher, Artisan Ambre body cream http://community.basenotes.net/showthread.php?t=228894

  51. #51

    Default Re: My wife thinks i have an obssesion.

    One question I'd ask is: If your wife spent just as much money, dollar for dollar, and just as much time, minute for minute, on a hobby that you had no use for, would you have any problem with it?

    Try imagining it in detail - maybe she's buying vintage Edwardian hair ribbons, for example. Researching them, sending off for them, packages coming, credit card bills mounting up, lots of time spent playing with her aquisitions. You watch her open the packages, and she just bought another four red velvet hair ribbons with a gold stripe, and to you they look exactly like the last fifteen red velvet hair ribbons with a gold stripe that she bought two days ago. And now she's shopping for red velvet hair ribbons with a gold stripe that's one millimeter wider.

    In this imaginary scenario, are you just fine with this, or are you annoyed at the expense and distraction?

    Crayfish

  52. #52

    Default Re: My wife thinks i have an obssesion.

    I get the eye roll from my wife.....and thinks I shouldn't be conversing with strangers.....since ya'll are serial killers!!

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