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  1. #1

    Default Anyone else get this kind of a reaction from friends???

    Hi all, I'm new to fragrances and just want to ask something to see if I'm the only one who has experienced this. Anyway, I was doing some shopping with friends so I decided to go buy a new fragrance, paco rabanne 1 million.

    So after I bought it they were asking what it was and how much it cost. So after i tell them they were shocked i would spend up to 50 euro on a fragrance. I almost felt they thought it was a stupid hobby, collecting fragrances.

    They were saying they would rather wear Lynx/Axe and that i was wasting my money. I didn't really pay any attention to the comments but has anyone else here recieved the same comments from friends and the like. Sorry if this is long and boring but i'm just curious. Thanks

  2. #2
    Pollux's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anyone else get this kind of a reaction from friends???

    Mark, welcome to Base Notes!

    That kind of reaction is quite normal, so my suggestion would be not to talk about your hobby or just do it in the right place, that meaning, among people appreciating it.

    Regarding their preferences, sooner or later they ask you what are you wearing. There are chances they will realize the difference between, say, Axe Musk and YSL's Rive Gauche, and this will be due to your hobby.
    Last edited by Pollux; 3rd January 2010 at 08:00 PM. Reason: Addition

  3. #3

    Default Re: Anyone else get this kind of a reaction from friends???

    I sometimes get remarks that fragrance is a waste of money ... I would say going out and spending Ł100 on drink in an evening was a waste of money . Its all swings and roundabouts

  4. #4

    Default Re: Anyone else get this kind of a reaction from friends???

    I get that reaction from my father among other people! Anyway the way I find most appropriate to deal with it is to stir away from tha pricetag issue and if I am asked directly I tell the truth. If they look me the wrong way I give them a talk about how it is impolite to ask the price of things if they are not interested in buying and how I don't ask about and judge the way they spend their money. After all it is money that I have worked hard for and money that I am not depriving anyone from! After a couple of times I gave that talk poeple seem to have gotten the message. And I believe this is a very polite way to tell people to mind their own business...
    If on the other hand you still want to get their approval, you can just tell them that you can sell the stuff that you got tired of on ebay or to fellow BNers who are just as stupid and self-absorbed as yourself
    Last edited by cpk; 3rd January 2010 at 04:04 PM.

  5. #5

    Amit's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anyone else get this kind of a reaction from friends???

    I get that ALL the time Mark. For my friends and family, fragrances is just one of my "dysfunctional" hobbies

    Don't let it bother you much.


    PVC and Leather. A Chain and a feather




  6. #6
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    Default Re: Anyone else get this kind of a reaction from friends???

    Hi Mark,
    Allow me to second Pollux's welcome! You have come to the right place. And I would second my fellow Basenoter's other comments: Voting for something with your pocketbook is a considerable statement. What we spend our money on does indeed set people apart. You wrote that "they would rather wear Lynx/Axe and that i was wasting my money." I like the idea that if you don't wear Lynx/Axe and invest more of your money than they do on different (and/or better) scents, you are actually raising the bar, changing the rules. And your mates may well see that as a challenge. Can they rise to it?
    cheers! tim

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Anyone else get this kind of a reaction from friends???

    As someone who lives below the national poverty level, people do wonder about my hobby. Granted I haven't bought anything in months - Piguet's Bandit $20 100ml - yet I get so much pleasure each day, I consider the value over the actual cost. Bottles last ages and it's something I get to enjoy day in and day out.

  8. #8
    A Site For Sore Eyes

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    Default Re: Anyone else get this kind of a reaction from friends???

    Welcome to Basenotes Mark!

    Nice choice of frag. You are exposing your friends to a new experience and a classy one at that. Be gentle..
    Deep in the dark your kiss will thrill me
    Like days of old. Lighting the spark of love that fills me
    with dreams untold..--Twilight Time

  9. #9

    Default Re: Anyone else get this kind of a reaction from friends???

    I too get the same response.My answer is that its a hobby I enjoy and I leave it at that.

  10. #10
    StylinLA's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anyone else get this kind of a reaction from friends???

    Most people in here get the same kind of guff at some level.

    Welcome aboard. Wear nice scents and let them roll with Axe.
    Last edited by StylinLA; 3rd January 2010 at 09:30 PM.

  11. #11
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    Default Re: Anyone else get this kind of a reaction from friends???

    I agree with jakekny. Think about how much pleasure it gives you. It's a harmless hobby that brings a simple joy. People collect all kinds of things. When one collects and uses fragrances, you can enjoy this hobby wherever you go. You can't say that about most collectibles.

    Other people may or may not "get it." What matters is what it means to YOU.

  12. #12

    Default Re: Anyone else get this kind of a reaction from friends???

    Wow thanks for the welcome, I'm glad I'm not the only one who has experienced this. I think I will take all of your advice and just explore my new hobby in private. Thanks

  13. #13
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    Default Re: Anyone else get this kind of a reaction from friends???

    I guess a lot of people seem to have an inbuilt head for what they think deserves to have money spent on it and what doesn't.
    Tragically a lot of this type of thinking is linked to social acceptance or peer pressure which mostly seems to deem a fragrance hobby as weird.

    Wait till you start trying 'feminine' scents, you'll find you may like some of them and then what?
    Stop buying the scent because you mates might slag you off?

    Welcome to the boards Mark, your fragrance adventure begins here...
    Last edited by Aerandir4; 3rd January 2010 at 05:51 PM.
    "What actions are most excellent? To gladden the heart of human beings, to feed the hungry, to help the afflicted, to lighten the sorrow of the sorrowful, and to remove the sufferings of the injured" Prophet Muhammad (pbuh)

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    Default Re: Anyone else get this kind of a reaction from friends???

    Don't worry about it. I know plenty people who find it strange to purchase Scents, watches, cars, clothes, booze, ETC. Different strokes I guess

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    Default Re: Anyone else get this kind of a reaction from friends???

    I must assure you that most of my friends act like this too, as soon as they find out about the amounts spent on my frags

  16. #16
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    Default Re: Anyone else get this kind of a reaction from friends???

    Welcome aboard!

    I know your issue all to well. What I usually reply with is that a bottle doesn't last just a month or two, but lasts over a year. Fragrances are a long term investment, not a one time thing. I know some of my friends who spend 70$ on shoes and family members who will spend that on alcohol. The point I made is that a 100ml bottle (70$ retail), will last me at least a year. Since I have a small collection and only wear a fragrance if I'm leaving the house, it will last more like 2 years. I'm also not a heavy sprayer. Once I tell them how long they last and why I enjoy them, they'll usually stop talking or change the subject because they know I could say the same thing about their hobbies.

  17. #17
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    Default Re: Anyone else get this kind of a reaction from friends???

    some people like wine...others are foodies or stamp collectors or coin collectors, etc..so just remind everyone that its not hurting them, it makes you happy, and hell, even makes you smell better!!
    Current Top 5:

    Tabac, Cardinal, Brookes Brothers, Musc Kublai Khan, Andron

  18. #18
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    Default Re: Anyone else get this kind of a reaction from friends???

    Yeah, at first.
    The friends closer to me were exposed to the frags I wear, got interested and albeit none of them craves a huge collection as I do they as of now do own one or two very decent frags that came around 50€ as well. So no, i dont get much weird looks anymore, if people come to understand why it fascinates me so much.
    My cousin is totally converted by the way, meanwhile he own nearly as many as I do, although no samples...

  19. #19

    Default Re: Anyone else get this kind of a reaction from friends???

    Welcome, Mark. I will echo what has already been said. Perfumes are like wines in both price and appreciation. Some people will be happy with what sells to the masses and their tastes. Some will only be happy with the more exotic and refined. And some will spend an untold amount on what makes them happy.

    For a person to spend thousands of dollars, pounds, euros or what-have-you on a wine--people gasp and say that person is a true connoisseur with cash to spare. When someone spends in the three figures on perfume, people gasp and say he is crazy.

    Perfume appreciation still has a long way to go for acceptance in the public eye.
    "No sweet perfume ever tortured me more than this." Desert Rose by Sting and Cheb Mami, Album 1999.

  20. #20

    Default Re: Anyone else get this kind of a reaction from friends???

    I get that all the time from friends. I pay no attention to them and it doesn't bother me.

  21. #21
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    Default Re: Anyone else get this kind of a reaction from friends???

    Welcome, Mark. The collecting and wearing of fragrance at the level experienced here on Base Notes for the general public is considered eccentric behavior. My suggestion is that you share your fragrance experiences here where there are individuals of similar interest. Anytime you are different from the general population you will be considered a bit odd. As for me, I would rather be eccentric and odd any day as opposed to following the behavior dictates of the herd mentality.
    Last edited by N_Tesla; 3rd January 2010 at 09:08 PM.

  22. #22
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    Default Re: Anyone else get this kind of a reaction from friends???

    YEP- Of course, these are the same women who routinely buy $300 shoes and $500-$700 designer bags, something I could never do. Everyone is different, don't let your friends sway you from what gives you pleasure.

  23. #23
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    Default Re: Anyone else get this kind of a reaction from friends???

    Welcome Mark. I never talk to my friends about it, parents patronize me a lot for it. Always screaming about how many of them I have and what is it to me.

    I just love collecting, that's it. Something I keep to myself, not spreading it like it's religion. Hobby is a hobby, thing you enjoy and just and only for you. People and friends sniffing you and asking you what it is, is just a little bonus.
    Last edited by Zgb; 3rd January 2010 at 09:46 PM. Reason: lapsus calami

  24. #24
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    Default Re: Anyone else get this kind of a reaction from friends???

    It's a hobby like collecting wine.. but after you open a bottle of wine you have to consume it fairly quickly; with scents you can store them for quite a while if you do it correctly, and consume them slowly over time. I find it to be a much better investment personally than wine.

  25. #25

    Default Re: Anyone else get this kind of a reaction from friends???

    If you get comments like this from Axe users again, say this. A can of Axe costs €3.50 and lasts 3 weeks (the way you have to douse yourself in it to get a smell that lasts). Thats about €60 a year. You buy 4 50ml bottles of fragrance, 2 for summer, 2 for winter. Even with serious overspraying, each bottle will last 4 seasons. Therefore as long as each bottle costs you less that €60, you will spend less than the guy buying Axe, and smell a hell of a lot better than him!

    I have just taught my nephew this truth - he's now buying stuff like 50ml of Paco XS for the price of 3 cans of Axe (or Lynx as its called here).

    Andy
    Last edited by andym72; 3rd January 2010 at 10:31 PM.

  26. #26

    Default Re: Anyone else get this kind of a reaction from friends???

    People rarely know somebody else with this hobby so they seem to find it strange, considering the majority of people have like one bottle of fragrance and stick to it for a while or dont use fragrances at all.

    If you like this hobby keep it up!

  27. #27

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    Default Re: Anyone else get this kind of a reaction from friends???

    This is why costs and discussions about my fragrant passion do not bother me at all:
    • Going to the movies costs about $20 here, and that is the cheapest you can feed your soul with. Wait a year to enjoy it on TV, or buy the DVD from second hand.
    • Tickets to music events are never below the value of a pricey perfume. Sports events ...I wouldn't want to know, even!
    • I only wear no name jeans and no name underwear (well, mostly, and pls. don't tell anybody :-)), Nike etc. sportswear?? - That's taboo, except bought at liquidation prices.

    I know what I want from life within the limits life has set for me. And I only have money for perfumes by first waiving other chances to waste it on.
    Last edited by narcus; 5th January 2010 at 11:47 AM.
    'Il mondo dei profumi č un universo senza limiti: una fraganza puo rievocare sensazioni, luoghi, persone o ancora condurre in uno spazio di nuove dimensioni emozionali' L. V.

  28. #28

    Default Re: Anyone else get this kind of a reaction from friends???

    I think a lot of you are missing the main point here.

    The main problem that people (parents/relatives/friends) have with seeing a guy collecting fragrances, is that it's supposedly a female thing, and it's not about the fact that he has a hobby of spending money on some collection.
    If Mark was spending the same amount of money on, for example - stamps, then there will be no issue. Or, if Mark was actually Maria, then there will be no issue. I'm sure that 95% of females here (girls, back me up) has never heard someone tell them that buying more than a few fragrances is a waste of money (the way that people tell us - guys).

    This is the reality, we have to deal with it. I know it's not always easy to have the attitude of "it's my hobby, I don't care what anybody else thinks!" , because deep inside, we as people, tend to look for approval. But hey, it's your own struggle with yourself...nobody can help you.
    The most uplifting thing I can tell you is that you are a member of huge community here, and you're obviously not alone in this hobby.

    Be strong and do what YOU enjoy.

    Good-luck!
    Last edited by Celsius32; 4th January 2010 at 02:32 PM.

  29. #29
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    Default Re: Anyone else get this kind of a reaction from friends???

    Hi, Mark, and welcome.

    Yes, I spend a lot of money buying the fragrances. Yes, even the people who love me the most do not have much comprehension for my hobby. Yes, a lot of my friends think that my hobby is the waste of money and time. Yes, my behavior concerning the scents does not have any connection with the wisdom. But, when I come home after a long, tedious day at work, and when I apply a bit of L’Air du Désert Marocain or Chergui, I am becoming the happiest person in the whole world.
    Last edited by peevish_yolk; 4th January 2010 at 03:19 PM.
    “As if everyone, all over the world, had his daily visually artistic task; the task of being an image for others.” Peter Handke

  30. #30

    Default Re: Anyone else get this kind of a reaction from friends???

    Thanks for all the replies and positive attitude. Really appreciate it!!

  31. #31

    Default Re: Anyone else get this kind of a reaction from friends???

    I'm sure that 95% of females here (girls, back me up) has never heard someone tell them that buying more than a few fragrances is a waste of money (the way that people tell us - guys).
    Meh. I get that. Ostentatious wearing of scent may be more socially acceptable for women, but (in my social circles, at least) it's considered frivolous and vainglorious to be sinking time and money in the pursuit of smelly water. It's "supposed" to be something you get as a gift and save for special occasions, no? I keep the whole thing mainly private, offline.
    It is known that there are an infinite number of worlds, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them to be in. However, not every one of them is inhabited. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near nothing as makes no odds, so the average population of all the planets in the Universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows that the population of the whole Universe is also zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely products of a deranged imagination.

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  32. #32
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    Default Re: Anyone else get this kind of a reaction from friends???

    A continous remark by part of my wife is: "all these men sharing your hobby must be gay..." Yes, collecting stamps or books does not have the same connotation as collecting scents. Whatever, I really just give a damn. And the point is, many criticise me, but end up asking me for suggestions when it comes to perfumes.

    The bottom line is, I love this hobby, it brings me lots of pleasure and, besides, wearing scents does cheer me up. I regard this as money well invested, plus, the need to slow down a little just or economy's sake.

  33. #33

    Default Re: Anyone else get this kind of a reaction from friends???

    Quote Originally Posted by Pollux View Post
    A continous remark by part of my wife is: "all these men sharing your hobby must be gay..." Yes, collecting stamps or books does not have the same connotation as collecting scents. Whatever, I really just give a damn. And the point is, many criticise me, but end up asking me for suggestions when it comes to perfumes.

    The bottom line is, I love this hobby, it brings me lots of pleasure and, besides, wearing scents does cheer me up. I regard this as money well invested, plus, the need to slow down a little just or economy's sake.


    I have to admit that when I first came here I also thought that "men interested in perfume=gay"..*hangs head in shame*...don't know why. Maybe because the few "real-world" guys I know that are remotely interested in perfume are gay!? And the straight ones I know have never dared to step away from Axe...But now I've gotten older and wiser...and know that the perfume-love has nothing to do with age,sexual leanings or whatever! Thanks to you, Basenotes..
    And yes, I've gotten lots of funny looks from friends and relatives (I actually have to hide away my collection from my mother(and I don't own that many bottles), who thinks this is a real PROBLEM...I mean PROBLEM as in crack-addiction or something!!It's sad, because when you buy a new bottle you're especially proud of and addicted to (in a sane way...), you just want to share it with everybody (the news, not the juice!hhaha!)!
    The only person I share my craze with is a friend of mine who turned out to be a real perfumista..with a way bigger collection than mine! But we didn't discover we shared this hobby right from the start..years passed 'till we finally brought up the subject "perfumes"...and it was the magical word "lutens"that was like the trigger. You can imagine,now we're really close friends.
    And I just had to share this with you guys..a couple of weeks ago a friend of mine made me a compliment on my perfume (I was wearing L'air du desert marocain)...as she barely ever finds my perfumes appealing to her (she's totally on the mainstream fruity-patchy side), I got all excited and made her a decant..just to find out that she actually doesn't like it on her..she just finds it very interesting on me..."it's just not me, I don't know when I could wear this, I don't want people to associate this smell with me",yup, that's what she said..um,well..and she didn't even thank me.10 ml of L'air very badly invested.Last time I try these kind of things...I was just sooooo dissapointed! My conclusion: she wants to smell "young"..fruity-patch=youth...and L'air is anything but fruity (thank god..).

  34. #34
    JoNnY 4's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anyone else get this kind of a reaction from friends???

    I guess as humans we all have our own addictions and obsessions no matter how rich or poor we are. Most of my friends when they found out I was into fragrances were shocked at first because of the number of bottles I own but as friends they just accepted the fact that fragrances is my hobby. However, I do not tell them the exact number of bottles I own LOL. I got a bout 70 something bottles so I just reduce it by half when friends ask how many bottles I own to save myself from all the moronic questions and "shock" "horror" expressions.
    "A parent's only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed."

  35. #35

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    Default Re: Anyone else get this kind of a reaction from friends???

    Quote Originally Posted by Celsius32 View Post
    I think a lot of you are missing the main point here.

    The main problem that people (parents/relatives/friends) have with seeing a guy collecting fragrances, is that it's supposedly a female thing, and it's not about the fact that he has a hobby of spending money on some collection....
    Nothing of this has been said by the original poster, but I can see it as a different topic. In the meantime, another thread has been started on the feminine / gay associations with men into perfume - here.

    Quote Originally Posted by allabouteve View Post
    I have to admit that when I first came here I also thought that "men interested in perfume=gay"..*hangs head in shame*...don't know why. Maybe because the few "real-world" guys I know that are remotely interested in perfume are gay!? And the straight ones I know have never dared to step away from Axe...But now I've gotten older and wiser...and know that the perfume-love has nothing to do with age,sexual leanings or whatever! Thanks to you, Basenotes..
    The thought that men at BN were perhaps not 'real-world guys' has never occurred to me. Some of us are gay. Many gays are not into perfume. and they are not among us, I would assume.

    Maybe you said it for effect, but there is no need to 'hang your head in shame'. Not even gays do that any longer. The western gay is proud, not embarrassed. Men wearing perfume were not a rare species even before WW1. It belonged to the education (class, life-stile) of a large and important elite. If sexual preferences played they didn't matter since the time of Mme Chanel and including the young maitres of our days, except maybe in Grasse.
    Last edited by narcus; 6th January 2010 at 07:05 AM.
    'Il mondo dei profumi č un universo senza limiti: una fraganza puo rievocare sensazioni, luoghi, persone o ancora condurre in uno spazio di nuove dimensioni emozionali' L. V.

  36. #36
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    Default Re: Anyone else get this kind of a reaction from friends???

    Just accept it as a part of yourself, be ready to teach those who don't understand, hold your ground and those in your life who actually care for you will just see it as another part of you. That's the point I've come to. Although I keep my collection very small, 5 bottles or so that I truly LOVE.

    Reminds me of lyrics from Taste, by one of my favorite bands, Animal Collective.

    Don't let your temper rise, don't get a bitter face.
    Try not to judge me on my kind of taste.
    And don't go changing clothes when they don't like yours.
    Last edited by Sokkou; 5th January 2010 at 02:05 PM.

  37. #37

    Default Re: Anyone else get this kind of a reaction from friends???

    Quote Originally Posted by narcus View Post
    Nothing of this has been said by the original poster, but I can see it as a different topic. In the meantime, another thread has been started on the feminine / gay associations with men into perfume - here.

    The thought that men at BN were perhaps not 'real-world guys' has never occurred to me. Some of us are gay. Many gays are not into perfume. Maybe you said it for effect, but there is no need to 'hang your head in shame'. Not even gays do that any longer. The western gay is proud, not embarrassed. Men wearing perfume were not a rare species even before WW1. It belonged to the education (class, life-stile) of a large and important minority. If sexual preferences played they didn't matter since the time of Mme Chanel to Francis Kurkdjian, except maybe in Grasse.
    Woahhhh!Hey, no, I’m seeing my translation wasn’t as good as I thought! With “real-world” I just mean people I actually know, friends,relatives, etc..not cyber-blog-forum-people,nothing else!
    And "I hang my head in shame" for beeing so simple and thinking that having good taste and interest in perfume was mostly a non-hetero thing (you know, based on my “real-world” experience!)

  38. #38

    Default Re: Anyone else get this kind of a reaction from friends???

    My fragrance obsession started recently too, and with the exception of two of my friends, everyone I've talked to about it seems to be pretty dismissive of it. When I get that "too expensive, weird hobby" reaction, I sometimes try to make an actual case for it, either by talking in detail about appreciating a fragrance with a captivating development, or letting that person smell something on the 'artsy' side, more complex than anything they've experienced. I've found that even if the person maintains it's an odd hobby, they at least respect that it's more than just collecting pretty bottles and 'smelly water.'

  39. #39

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    Default Re: Anyone else get this kind of a reaction from friends???

    Welcome to the group, young fella! When these friends start "paying your bills" then they can complain. Enjoy your hobby.

  40. #40

    Default Re: Anyone else get this kind of a reaction from friends???

    So what I say. If you can afford it do what you want. How many people are in debt or spend money on vacations and trips, sporting events, night out on the town, shows etc. It's your money and you can do what you want with it. I think people do stupid things all the time with their money and sometimes I tell them about it but that's my opinion. If someone told me they thought I was stupid for purchasing too many colognes I would say, thanks for your input but I don't care.

    Do what you want, enjoy yourself and knowing it will last a year or longer is a long enjoyment that all of the above won't give but for a few minutes, a day or a couple weeks at most.

  41. #41
    Dependent

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    Default Re: Anyone else get this kind of a reaction from friends???

    Quote Originally Posted by cpk View Post
    I get that reaction from my father among other people!
    I get that from my mother, though she nags less often now.

    Welcome to the fragrance monastery Mark Ryan 92!
    Last edited by MFJ; 8th January 2010 at 06:44 PM.

  42. #42

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    Default Re: Anyone else get this kind of a reaction from friends???

    In my social circles I considered to be the "know it all". I just study a lot and various hobbies and interests. My two most passionate ones, other than the study of the bible, are sports and perfumes. My parents are accustomed to me spending money on a bottle of a great cologne. My girlfriend loves it, she also knows I blow big bucks on getting her perfumes I love. My friends and family come to me for suggestions, they don't see it as a "gay" thing. People at work always comment on my wide selection of great colognes. I see it as necessary to maintain a clean, well kept aspect. Don't worry they'll get used to it.

  43. #43
    Balavassassin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anyone else get this kind of a reaction from friends???

    Well, to think of it.. A Bottle of 1 Million will last as long as approx 5 - 6 cans of Axe, so in comparison a bottle of Axe costs $5 AUD for me and a bottle Of cologne averages $80 or so, thus they've spent $30 for an impotent version of something that smells like synthetic madness and your Paco bottle of 1 Million is only $20 dearer. You made the better choice!

    - Balava!
    Last edited by Balavassassin; 21st January 2010 at 09:25 AM.
    - I Want To Appreciate You With My Eyes Closed-

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  44. #44
    Spray's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anyone else get this kind of a reaction from friends???

    Most people don't see the art and beauty of perfumery. They'll think you're gay or weird if they see a collection of expensive fragrances.

  45. #45
    Balavassassin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Anyone else get this kind of a reaction from friends???

    Yes, indeed true "spray". Though sometimes it's not peoples fault if they're brought up in a world of synthetic madness and stupidity..this worlds become to deluged with fluorescent colors and ridiculous Ideas....A robotic world is gracing us slowly...



    Though perfumery will stand strong!

    I sound like a freaking revolutionist!

    - Balava
    - I Want To Appreciate You With My Eyes Closed-

    - Anonymous

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

    Chanel Antaeus Equipped With A Double Whipping Of A Black Leather Jacket

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