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  1. #1

    Default I NEVER Get Complimented on ANY Cologne. :( Help!

    I have a rather serious matter for BN fans based on an unfortunate observation: I never get complimented on any cologne I wear…ever. I am a 38 year old guy with proper hygiene and grooming skills. I didn’t get compliments when I wore Obsession and Cool Water back in the day. I can walk around smelling like Acqua Di Gio and get nada! No matter what I sport, I get zilch. I don’t even get compliments from the “little old ladies” in my church!

    Despite my screen name, I try hard not to be that guy who is obnoxious with his scent. My “signature scent” (which I acquired recently) is Ralph Lauren's Chaps Weekend (2008?), a pleasant, inoffensive scent. It is fresh and clean. (Top notes: wild basil, orange and sage. Middle notes: cardamom, lavender and cinnamon bark. Base notes: guaiac wood, vintage leather and patchouli.)

    I’m not asking for much; it would be great for a cashier to look at me, give me a friendly smile, and say, “Nice cologne.”

    Trolling the internet ones finds men reviewing colognes and bragging, “Complete strangers come up to me all the time and ask, ‘What are you wearing?’”. Women write reviews pour homme and say, “I find this scent irresistible on any guy!”

    It begs the question; what do these guys have that I don’t? Several questions come to mind:

    1. Is this age related? Is this a teenager/college thing? Are most of these brave ladies really 17 year old girls telling some dude/bloke/mate in history class how great he smells?

    2. Is it event related? Do most compliments come from some slammin’ club scene at 2 A.M.? Or is it a work office thing?

    3. Is it based, really, on physical attraction? I’m somewhere between Matthew McConaughey and Quasimodo. Is the hard truth often that I’m not considered attractive enough?

    Help!

  2. #2
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    Mimi Gardenia's Avatar
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    Default Re: I NEVER Get Complimented on ANY Cologne. :( Help!

    Welcome to Basenotes Sillage Enthusiast - you are welcome with open arms .

    I think those reviews online bragging about how many compliments men get are not to be taken too seriously. I think they are sometimes greatly overblown .

    If it makes you feel better , I rarely get compliments -even comments - on what I am wearing. The last one was for La Prairie Cellular Body Spray !!! *LOL* The person who commented said it smelt very good. For Mitsouko - I had a mouthwash comment. C'est La vie. Just enjoy yourself.

    Just wear the scents you like for yourself . it's just a bonus to get an compliment ,when you do. Forget trying to analyse yourself - I doubt it has to do with attractiveness ,events,age.

    My 2 scents,that's all .
    Last edited by Mimi Gardenia; 9th April 2010 at 04:14 PM.
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  3. #3
    Torx's Avatar
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    Default Re: I NEVER Get Complimented on ANY Cologne. :( Help!

    alot of people smell you but wont comment.
    especially if the woman thinks the man wont tell them the fragrance.

    maybe youre wearing too little/too much?
    whats your fav frags and how many sprays?

    i dont think theres an age difference with the women.. young girls are going to question because theyre new to the scene, then could completely ignore it because.. it may not be that important to them.. The older women would question because theyve grown a nose and interest as theyve gotten older, but then again have been exposed to so many male frags throughout life it could be unimportant.

    if its a club scene, i figure the women there are exposed to so much chemical fummage, fragrance curiosity is probably at a low. what they want is a drink in their hand and good conversation/dance more than anything.

    i would def think an attractive guy would get questioned more than an ugly guy. thats just my opinion.
    Last edited by Torx; 9th April 2010 at 04:54 PM.
    Forcing Memories into Everyones Brains One Fragrance at a Time.

  4. #4

    Default Re: I NEVER Get Complimented on ANY Cologne. :( Help!

    im an athletic above average looking college kid and i only get compliments from dudes...i hate it

  5. #5

    Default Re: I NEVER Get Complimented on ANY Cologne. :( Help!

    First of all, welcome on Basenotes

    I can fully sympathize with what you are saying, because I belong myself to the "compliment underachiever"-men, but even when the rare compliments occurred during my life, it happened because of the most unusual frag-related choices, e.g. a cheapo male frag by Avon getting more compliments than an 100+ Euro price tag per bottle-frag.

    So, in my humble and totally non-expert, informal opinion, compliments are a strange mechanism, as unpredictable as hard to track down/justify/explain. It has actually very little to do with your grooming, fashion tastes, fragrance choices, your looks or your personality in general- you may both wear the grandest frags and sport the most fascinating combination between the most attractive looks and the most complex personality, "the road towards compliments" (and I am neither trying to be funny nor sarcastic) is long and bumpy, with the most unexpected outcomes, usually almost completely independent from you and your efforts.

    Still, continue testing and buying great frags- whatever YOU consider pleasant, nobody else but you- and, eventually, satisfactions much greater than compliments may come along, which, in turn, may be sources for future compliments.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: I NEVER Get Complimented on ANY Cologne. :( Help!

    I get compliments after peeling tangerines or when walking around with a cinnamon cappuccino from Starbucks.

    Women (generally) aren't going to approach if you're a stranger.

    You'll tend get more compliments in a bar because alcohol lowers inhibitions.

    It can be paradoxical. I seem to be better at attracting girls when I'm wearing sweat pants cut offs and haven't shaved in a day.
    Last edited by adonis; 9th April 2010 at 06:25 PM.

  7. #7
    Torx's Avatar
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    Default Re: I NEVER Get Complimented on ANY Cologne. :( Help!

    ^^ this dude speaks the truth.
    out of all my frags, claiborne sport has been the most complimented.. it seems like people just light up around me when i wear it, people question it, and i consider it the most cheapie overly citrus, generic, aftershave like scent i have. and it projects like a MOFO.


    if you take a look at the poll thread i made asking everyone here if they wear for themselves or not, you'll see alot of us just wear for ourselves and compliments are a bonus.
    http://www.basenotes.net/threads/246...-or-for-Others
    Last edited by Torx; 9th April 2010 at 06:05 PM.
    Forcing Memories into Everyones Brains One Fragrance at a Time.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: I NEVER Get Complimented on ANY Cologne. :( Help!

    Welcome. Like others have said, it's other people, not you. In a lifetime of wearing fragrances, I have been complimented six or seven times. That's just the way it is for me and that's okay.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: I NEVER Get Complimented on ANY Cologne. :( Help!

    Quote Originally Posted by ScottyU View Post
    im an athletic above average looking college kid and i only get compliments from dudes...i hate it
    Any kind of honest compliment should be a good thing! Isn't it less typical for a guy to tell you that you smell great? At least you know you smell good enough to get compliments from a less likely(?) source. Feel flattered, sir!
    Last edited by MFJ; 9th April 2010 at 07:00 PM.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: I NEVER Get Complimented on ANY Cologne. :( Help!

    Same here. Only fragrance compliment I ever received was from a woman I was already sleeping with. C'est la vie!

  11. #11

    Default Re: I NEVER Get Complimented on ANY Cologne. :( Help!

    Thanks for your responses. I confess that I love the dry woods category (think Polo Green and original Quorum). There's something about the green, smoky, tobacco-leather combination that provides such comfort to me. (But I detect a pine tree vehicle air refresher scent in Paco Rabanne that I am still mulling over.) I often spray this category on in the evenings just for my personal pleasure. However, I know how powerhouse 70's-80's frags can repel when over-applied so I try a light touch in public. (I also enjoy Bogart pour Homme but I spray once on my abdomen and once on my lower back, allow it to dry and then put my shirt on because that's one monster sillage behemoth!)

    Chaps Weekend is not dry woods but it is such a down-right pleasant experience that I enjoy it immensely. Since it made a appearance on the toilette scene only recently and only sold at Kohls department stores (and online) it is not ubiquitous scent, either. I confess aquatics just don't do much for me personally. Gourmand is a playful genre but it doesn't seem really suited to my personality.

  12. #12

    Default Re: I NEVER Get Complimented on ANY Cologne. :( Help!

    I think probably NOT getting comments is a good thing. I'm very sensitive to too much perfume, so only use a small amount myself. You probably are quite sensitive to odors, too. I think you probably have to be blasting sillage like crazy to get any sort of comments, positive or negative, because the source of the "nice smell" has to be unequivocally localizable to YOU. I wouldn't be able to stand that much scent. I suspect that your perfume may have a subconscious effect on others, even though they don't consciously smell it.

    When I tell people that I make perfumes, they often say, "Really? But you never wear perfume?". I find that funny, because I do, every day. Sometimes I even reek of stuff that I've been working with, and I would think that others could smell it a block away. I don't care, since I don't wear perfume to get compliments.

    Keep on doing what you're doing, and enjoy it.

  13. #13

    Default Re: I NEVER Get Complimented on ANY Cologne. :( Help!

    I never get complimented except on rare occasions.

    It doesn't really bother me. It's more of a prove to me that I haven't found the "ultimate fragrance" for my skin yet. Here in Belgium it is also very uncommon to compliment someone on his cologne.

    I use it because it makes me feel good and it boosts my self confidence.

    When I think about it I would rather not be complimented. It would actually be awkward for me.

    When you smell really good you leave a special impression that won't fade quickly.
    Last edited by Suppressor; 9th April 2010 at 09:13 PM.

  14. #14

    Default Re: I NEVER Get Complimented on ANY Cologne. :( Help!

    I think it has a lot to do with personality, situation, and appearance.

    Now, don't get me wrong. These have nothing to do with being, acting, or looking like a GQ model. In fact, sometimes it's the opposite. Let me explain.

    As far as personality goes: I think if we were to make a "perfect compliment getter", it would have to be someone outgoing, chill, and fun. These traits draw people in. They break the ice and deal well with a variety of situations. People, girls especially, can pick up on these things. Once others feel comfortable around you, or you give off a "nice person" vibe, you are much more (but no always) likely to get random compliments from strangers, friends, and family.

    Situations matter as well: If you expect to get compliments going to a sporting event, at the gym, or at a concert you might be waiting a while. These are places where people go for a reason and are usually not interested in small talk except certain circumstances. Also, you sweat a lot at some of these. If you go to a small get together (new or old friends), a casual indoor event (even something like a poker game), or a date - you will likely be more prone to getting unsolicited compliments. These are times and places that warrant small talk, moderately close contact, and a relaxed atmosphere. Very important ingredients to the compliment concoction.

    Appearance is important too, kind of: Sometimes just being extremely good looking will get you loads of attention and comments from strangers. This isn't common or likely, to be honest. People feel intimated by someone they feel is very attractive. You think, "They probably get hit on the time, there's no way they'd be interested in me." or "Someone like that would not want to be bothered with ANOTHER compliment." This has even been attested to by multiple celebrities. They say that you would think they'd be hassled all the time, but it almost never happens because of the mental stigma.

    The same also goes for someone that appears to be intimidating. Is the average person likely to walk up to someone that looks like a biker, body guard, or former prison inmate and just small talk and compliment them? Doubtful. If you have the appearance of being "hard" or "badass" you are practically never going to get someone telling you that "you smell good", lol.


    That's my thought process on it, anyway.
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  15. #15

    Default Re: I NEVER Get Complimented on ANY Cologne. :( Help!

    Of course, I could just take an "eau de shower" in Drakkar Noir.

  16. #16
    Dependent Le Grand Duc's Avatar
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    Default Re: I NEVER Get Complimented on ANY Cologne. :( Help!

    I think it's because hetero men will take a compliment as a sign,
    that the girl is interested in him, or so the girls think.
    I'm a gay man, and I get lots of compliments, it's safe for girls
    to give them to me.
    I wear heavy scents; Égoïste; Jaïpur; Hypnotic Poison, stuff like that,
    and I get some 5-10 compliments a year.
    Maybe you need to be bolder, and not just smell clean [Acqua di Gio],
    but smell diferent and luxurious, get yourself noticed..!

  17. #17

    Default Re: I NEVER Get Complimented on ANY Cologne. :( Help!

    usually the times i get compliments are by people i give a hug to or are real close to me. or i ask them to check a frag.

  18. #18
    Dependent Le Grand Duc's Avatar
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    Default Re: I NEVER Get Complimented on ANY Cologne. :( Help!

    Quote Originally Posted by DavidBond007 View Post
    ... or i ask them to check a frag.
    Hey! That's cheating!

  19. #19

    Default Re: I NEVER Get Complimented on ANY Cologne. :( Help!

    I have received a few compliments over the years but not anything to write home about. I work with a large number of people and I always ask the ladies if they like what I am wearing that day. Surprising answers I get. It's fun. Some of the colognes that get rants and raves online, the girls at work think it sucks. I saw a review on Thierry Muglers Pure Malt and had to check it out. I received it and thought it was incredible. Every single lady at work did not like it. I really can't understand why, but that's the way it is, the ladies gave it a thumbs down, lol. I'm gonna wear it sometimes just for myself, lol. It is nice to hear the compliments. It would be nice to hear more.

  20. #20
    stoavio's Avatar
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    Default Re: I NEVER Get Complimented on ANY Cologne. :( Help!

    Never getting complimented use to drive me crazy too...until I realized, although I often smell someone's perfume/cologne I rarely compliment them on it. Just because people aren't saying something doesn't mean they aren't noticing or enjoying it!

    I think we should all make more of an effort to appreciate a good frag when we smell one!

  21. #21

    Default Re: I NEVER Get Complimented on ANY Cologne. :( Help!

    I don't think that people really compliment other people on their cologne very often. I've gotten precisely one compliment myself, and I'm still not sure if it was a compliment or a communication that I'd put on a little too much. And I've only given one compliment, even though I'm perfume obsessed, because it always seems possible or even likely that my intention will be misunderstood.

  22. #22

    Default Re: I NEVER Get Complimented on ANY Cologne. :( Help!

    I never get compliments about fragrances. It doesn't bother me, that's life. But I enjoy complimenting others about their fragrances or clothing every now and then.
    Last edited by jpkunst; 10th April 2010 at 07:12 AM.
    Jan Pieter

  23. #23
    Dependent Le Grand Duc's Avatar
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    Default Re: I NEVER Get Complimented on ANY Cologne. :( Help!

    Quote Originally Posted by Le Grand Duc View Post
    ... I get some 5-10 compliments a year.
    Extremely rarely from strangers, though!
    I'm with Stovaio - let's give compliments more.

  24. #24
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    Default Re: I NEVER Get Complimented on ANY Cologne. :( Help!

    Today I was helping a female customer and when I commented on her perfume, she seemed very pleased. I like making people happy so I think I'll keep this up...even though sometimes my friends give me a hard time about it.

  25. #25
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    Default Re: I NEVER Get Complimented on ANY Cologne. :( Help!

    Thousands of dollars down the line, and the first compliment I receive in years is on a day I'm wearing nothing, bar a two-dollar scented hair wax.

    Moral of the story? Wear fragrance for your own enjoyment, and develop other elements of your personality if you want compliments.

  26. #26

    Default Re: I NEVER Get Complimented on ANY Cologne. :( Help!

    Perhaps my nose is unsophisticated but I just don't detect cologne/perfume on others. Either people dab/spray with a very light touch or, well, we're back to my nose being unsophisticated!

  27. #27
    Dependent Le Grand Duc's Avatar
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    Default Re: I NEVER Get Complimented on ANY Cologne. :( Help!

    You guys are too conservative in your applying if you never get compliments!
    Of course nobody will notice if you only spray once or twice. Go bananas for
    once; 4-6 sprays ... maybe even 8!

    ... wait a minute! Are all my compliments actually ppl trying to tell me, that I
    wear too much perfume?! Hmm?! Human beings can be so strange at times!

  28. #28

    Default Re: I NEVER Get Complimented on ANY Cologne. :( Help!

    Quote Originally Posted by Le Grand Duc View Post
    You guys are too conservative in your applying if you never get compliments!
    Of course nobody will notice if you only spray once or twice. Go bananas for
    once; 4-6 sprays ... maybe even 8!

    ... wait a minute! Are all my compliments actually ppl trying to tell me, that I
    wear too much perfume?! Hmm?! Human beings can be so strange at times!
    lol, honestly I can't tell if your joking or not.

    However, if you are being serious, 8 sprays is an incredible amount of any fragrance. Wouldn't you suffocate?
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  29. #29
    Dependent Le Grand Duc's Avatar
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    Default Re: I NEVER Get Complimented on ANY Cologne. :( Help!

    LOL!

    I am actually dead serious.
    My skin is dryer than sand in the Sahara during mid-day in June,
    so parfume usually evapurate within a couple of hours after applying.

    I conserquently spray some 4-8 times, sometimes more, and I'm love it.

    --- EDIT ---

    ... depending on what juice I'm spraying with, of course!
    Last edited by Le Grand Duc; 11th April 2010 at 12:41 AM.

  30. #30

    Default Re: I NEVER Get Complimented on ANY Cologne. :( Help!

    I remember a guy in college back in the early 90's. We were in the same dorm room that evening and I detected STRONG, OVERWHELMING sillage on him. (I'd really like to know now how many sprays he used.) I didn't recognize the scent at the time so I asked him what cologne he was wearing. His answer? Drakkar.

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