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  1. #1

    Angry My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Well, my parents find it absolutely normal, however my grand-mother questions my sexuality because of my fragrance use, she says it is something reserved to women, travestites and sexual deviants/predators. I tried to talk with her and explain that everybody does it but well... This summer I'll be spending the entire holliday at her Estate, I'm affraid she might get upset (She does that sometime "Get dressed properly, we are not going to a communist rally" and can be quite funny but really offensive...) and ban me from using fragrance, I know I don't have the courage to stand up to her. Perhaps I should try to find some examples of people of her generation who were straight and used fragrance, because according to her an english gentleman washes and does not need fragrance... What should I do? She is so old fashioned!

  2. #2
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    Sugandaraja's Avatar
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    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Honestly, I'd just say humor her - she doesn't sound amenable to reason, from your description.

    ( Still - sexual predators? What!? )

  3. #3

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    all the princes of the royal family uses fragrances.

    "some examples of people of her generation who were straight and used fragrance"
    I laughed to this part. It can't be that hard can it?

    I think she's just making excuses to prevent you from "turning gay"

  4. #4

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Tell her you like to smell nice for the ladies.

  5. #5

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    I did Grifter, but well, she can be very stubborn, and then she talks about my fragrances with her friends, it's just so disturbing.

  6. #6

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Quote Originally Posted by AGR View Post
    I did Grifter, but well, she can be very stubborn, and then she talks about my fragrances with her friends, it's just so disturbing.
    maybe tell her that you are not looking for girls her age, but girls your age
    : )

  7. #7
    adonis's Avatar
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    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    "Gra-mama, I'm not gay... merely bisexual"

    See how that works.
    Last edited by adonis; 14th May 2010 at 09:02 AM.

  8. #8

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Please tell her this is the provincial backwoods attitude of Victorian Americans ca. 1900 - when British Gentlemen were using toilet waters such as Hammam Bouquet - and that you suspect she's a Stalinist Puritan. For real, just comfort her, you don't want to be struck from the testament just for wearing Acqua di Gio, now do you?
    My Wardrobe
    II est de forts parfums pour qui toute matière/Est poreuse. On dirait qu'ils pénètrent le verre.

  9. #9

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Even a deviant can smell good

  10. #10

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    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Get a new family

  11. #11
    Lifelong Sniffaholic
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    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Quote Originally Posted by AGR View Post
    I'm affraid she might get upset ...and ban me from using fragrance, What should I do? She is so old fashioned!
    She hasn't banned you yet. Wear fragrance lightly and don't bring it up in discussion, since you will not be able to change her mind.

    If she does ask/tell you not to wear it, that will be the time to stop, and without further discussion. It's her home, her rules.



  12. #12

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Why dont u find a bottle of AA INDIAN Musk Ghazelle or Musc Koublai Khan and soak her bed with it ?
    AUSSIES, come join our SPLIT GROUP at http://groups.google.com.au/group/oz-scent-splits

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  13. #13
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    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Quote Originally Posted by 30 Roses View Post

    If she does ask/tell you not to wear it, that will be the time to stop, and without further discussion. It's her home, her rules.
    Reluctantly I have to agree with 30 Roses' sage advice. Does Granny wear any fragrances herself? Maybe her choice, if not totally outrageous, could be your choice and then perhaps she wouldn't notice you are wearing anything at all.
    Last edited by kbe; 14th May 2010 at 01:24 PM.
    These things cannot be long hidden: the Sun, the Moon, the Truth--Buddha

  14. #14

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Quote Originally Posted by kbe View Post
    Reluctantly I have to agree with 30 Roses' sage advice. Does Granny wear any fragrances herself? Maybe her choice, if not totally outrageous, could be your choice and then perhaps she wouldn't notice you are wearing anything at all.
    Um, I don't think his granny would survive if she found out he is wearing the same perfume as she does.
    Last edited by Stereotomy; 14th May 2010 at 01:57 PM.
    Wanted: a cap of Bvlgari Thé Vert

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  15. #15
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    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    If you're staying in her house, don't wear fragrance.

    When you are back home, wear as much as you want to, and don't worry so much about what grandma thinks about you. It is her problem. Not yours.

    Life is too short to allow what someone else thinks about us (even someone like a family member) to bother us.

  16. #16
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    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Yes, life is too short to worry about what others think of us. It's your life, your choices in life, your fragrance. Granny is just being Granny and sooner or later she'll get tired of it when she sees you don't listen.As long as she sees there is a chance her words will have an effect on you ,she'll keep on.
    If Granny is not going to fixate on your fragrance , then it'll be something else.
    My Granny fixated on my broad shoulders and my sister's hair.
    Last edited by Mimi Gardenia; 15th May 2010 at 04:08 AM.
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  17. #17
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    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    I agree with Mysticknot. And upon what, one has to wonder, is Granny basing her knowledge of "transvestites and sexual deviants/predators"?

  18. #18
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    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    OMG! I would put on a double dose! No doubt!

  19. #19

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    If someone questioned my sexuality because of fragrance I would just let them to continue to do so with no care on my part.

  20. #20
    Dependent knit at nite's Avatar
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    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Tough one- Since we cannot choose our relatives, and you will be in dear Granny's home during your holiday, at her Estate, no less (Ahem, sorry did that sound too much like jealousy raising it's ugly head?) I suggest you take the high road and go scentless for the time you are in her home so she will not even have to think of banning your perceived "deviant habits", or calling the solicitor to strike you off due to them.
    Of course, when you are not staying at the Estate, spritz away- dear boy!
    Last edited by knit at nite; 14th May 2010 at 07:08 PM. Reason: spelling
    Currently wearing: Shalimar by Guerlain

  21. #21
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    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Wear something like Yatagan and it might change her mind.

  22. #22
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    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Just explain to her that you are only a practicing transvestite at the moment and hope for the best

    Seriously though. With people who are elderly and stubborn and set in their ignorant way...well there is not much reasoning to be had. It is kind of a moot topic, because no matter what you say she will still hold her prejudices close to heart. You will just have to acquiesce to her demands while staying with her. Plus, no one would want to be disinherited over a fragrance, now would they.
    Quand on boit l'eau, il faut penser à sa source

  23. #23

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    I think the Baron de Charlus can provide you with the advice you need; perhaps he could even have a word with your grandmother !

  24. #24

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Quote Originally Posted by 30 Roses View Post
    She hasn't banned you yet. Wear fragrance lightly and don't bring it up in discussion, since you will not be able to change her mind.

    If she does ask/tell you not to wear it, that will be the time to stop, and without further discussion. It's her home, her rules.
    In the opinion of a pre-adult ("adult," by my own personal definition) who lives on his own, I think that at the point where it no longer becomes "his choice" whether or not to stay with her.. at that exact moment, he no longer has to submit to her ridiculous whims and wills. Choosing to defy her may cause more grief for you, but I believe that at the point where you have no reasonable option for residence, her ridiculous concepts can flutter about as they will.
    Last edited by AlexbroPA; 15th May 2010 at 06:08 AM.

  25. #25
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    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Gendarme would probably slip through her olfactory gateway.
    Last edited by adonis; 15th May 2010 at 07:56 AM.

  26. #26

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    2 suggestions:

    1 - wear something light and clean. Mugler cologne, eau de cartier, etc. Soapy might help

    2 - if all else fails, get a couple body washes in your favorite scents. I often go without fragrance and just use my Rive Gauche shower gel. It is strong and long-lasting enough for the girlfriend to offer a compliment 5-6 hours later. If your grandmother asks if you are wearing cologne again, show her the bottle.
    Last edited by Big_Scooter; 15th May 2010 at 08:34 AM.

  27. #27

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    +1
    Quote Originally Posted by knit_at_nite View Post
    Tough one- Since we cannot choose our relatives, and you will be in dear Granny's home during your holiday, ...I suggest you take the high road and go scentless for the time you are in her home...
    Some relatives can be unreasonable, insulting, crazy, etc., etc., etc. And at the same time it's important to keep up family ties - even when it hurts. As a grandparent she deserves some extra kindness because she's one of the reasons why you're alive right now. So even though she gets under your skin, it would be better to sacrifice the scents while you stay with her.
    Anakin: What was that all about?
    Obi-Wan: Well, R2 has been...
    Anakin: No loose wire jokes.
    Obi-Wan: Did I say anything?
    Anakin: He's trying.
    Obi-Wan: I didn't say anything!

    -ROTS


  28. #28

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Hello,

    am i right that your grand-mother is in fact your father’s mother? It’s not neccessary that this is the case for my following assumptions, but they’d be even more likely. Normally the relationship of grandparent to their grandchildren is highly influenced by the relationship between your grandparents and your parents. Often grandchildren are treated extremely well or – as in your case – rather harsh to make a statement of disapproval of how your parents handle your upbringing. It’s some kind of proxy war which often goes back a long way and is based in the oedipal affection your grandmother feels for your father – which normally causes a feeling that your mother is not good enough for her son.
    It has nothing to do with wearing frangrance per se. It’s just a cheap shot to question your sexuality by which she really questions her son’s choices in life and subsequently – as he didn’t follow her advice or didn’t wait for her approval and chose another woman instead of her – his manlyhood.
    Since this isn’t anything your grandmother does consciously, there’s no way you could convince her to change her mind – unless you send her to a therapist, but she doesn’t seem to be the type for that. There are of course strategies to distract her from her current target of criticism, that is finding new target like becoming bad at school or starting to smoke. All this, of course, is no answer to your problem and would cause more trouble that it takes away from you. You should also consider that your current problems with your grandmother are only a fraction of the fights your parents probably had to endure.

    To make your life and your parents life a little easier just tell your grandmother: I think you’re being unreasonable, but i love you more than wearing fragrance. Also, i think i’m a handsome enough guy to attrakt girls without smelling awesome.

    (Even if i’m completely wrong since i don’t know anyone from your family, my advice still stands.)

    Good luck!

  29. #29

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Or you can tell Granny that the girls all try to "convert" you when they think you're gay.

  30. #30

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    If your grandmother insisted that your use of fragrance was proof positive that you were a space alien, here to purchase Volkswagon steering wheels and serve them as small plates in the fashionable tapas restaurants of Alpha Centauri, you would probably give her a polite and worried smile, nod, and change the subject. And you would know that most of her friends probably also know that she's quite insane on certain subjects.

    I would recommend taking the same attitude here.
    Last edited by ChickenFreak; 15th May 2010 at 05:52 PM. Reason: (Edited to change the nature of the space aliens, for fear of misunderstanding.)

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