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  1. #1

    Angry My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Well, my parents find it absolutely normal, however my grand-mother questions my sexuality because of my fragrance use, she says it is something reserved to women, travestites and sexual deviants/predators. I tried to talk with her and explain that everybody does it but well... This summer I'll be spending the entire holliday at her Estate, I'm affraid she might get upset (She does that sometime "Get dressed properly, we are not going to a communist rally" and can be quite funny but really offensive...) and ban me from using fragrance, I know I don't have the courage to stand up to her. Perhaps I should try to find some examples of people of her generation who were straight and used fragrance, because according to her an english gentleman washes and does not need fragrance... What should I do? She is so old fashioned!

  2. #2

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Honestly, I'd just say humor her - she doesn't sound amenable to reason, from your description.

    ( Still - sexual predators? What!? )

  3. #3

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    all the princes of the royal family uses fragrances.

    "some examples of people of her generation who were straight and used fragrance"
    I laughed to this part. It can't be that hard can it?

    I think she's just making excuses to prevent you from "turning gay"

  4. #4

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Tell her you like to smell nice for the ladies.

  5. #5

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    I did Grifter, but well, she can be very stubborn, and then she talks about my fragrances with her friends, it's just so disturbing.

  6. #6

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Quote Originally Posted by AGR View Post
    I did Grifter, but well, she can be very stubborn, and then she talks about my fragrances with her friends, it's just so disturbing.
    maybe tell her that you are not looking for girls her age, but girls your age
    : )

  7. #7

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    "Gra-mama, I'm not gay... merely bisexual"

    See how that works.
    Last edited by adonis; 14th May 2010 at 09:02 AM.

  8. #8

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Please tell her this is the provincial backwoods attitude of Victorian Americans ca. 1900 - when British Gentlemen were using toilet waters such as Hammam Bouquet - and that you suspect she's a Stalinist Puritan. For real, just comfort her, you don't want to be struck from the testament just for wearing Acqua di Gio, now do you?
    My Wardrobe
    II est de forts parfums pour qui toute matière/Est poreuse. On dirait qu'ils pénètrent le verre.

  9. #9

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Even a deviant can smell good

  10. #10

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Get a new family

  11. #11
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    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Quote Originally Posted by AGR View Post
    I'm affraid she might get upset ...and ban me from using fragrance, What should I do? She is so old fashioned!
    She hasn't banned you yet. Wear fragrance lightly and don't bring it up in discussion, since you will not be able to change her mind.

    If she does ask/tell you not to wear it, that will be the time to stop, and without further discussion. It's her home, her rules.


  12. #12

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Why dont u find a bottle of AA INDIAN Musk Ghazelle or Musc Koublai Khan and soak her bed with it ?
    AUSSIES, come join our SPLIT GROUP at http://groups.google.com.au/group/oz-scent-splits

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  13. #13
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    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Quote Originally Posted by 30 Roses View Post

    If she does ask/tell you not to wear it, that will be the time to stop, and without further discussion. It's her home, her rules.
    Reluctantly I have to agree with 30 Roses' sage advice. Does Granny wear any fragrances herself? Maybe her choice, if not totally outrageous, could be your choice and then perhaps she wouldn't notice you are wearing anything at all.
    Last edited by kbe; 14th May 2010 at 01:24 PM.
    Our job is to live joyfully in this world of sorrows--Joseph Campbell

  14. #14

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Quote Originally Posted by kbe View Post
    Reluctantly I have to agree with 30 Roses' sage advice. Does Granny wear any fragrances herself? Maybe her choice, if not totally outrageous, could be your choice and then perhaps she wouldn't notice you are wearing anything at all.
    Um, I don't think his granny would survive if she found out he is wearing the same perfume as she does.
    Last edited by Stereotomy; 14th May 2010 at 01:57 PM.
    Wanted: a cap of Bvlgari Thé Vert

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  15. #15
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    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    If you're staying in her house, don't wear fragrance.

    When you are back home, wear as much as you want to, and don't worry so much about what grandma thinks about you. It is her problem. Not yours.

    Life is too short to allow what someone else thinks about us (even someone like a family member) to bother us.

  16. #16
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    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Yes, life is too short to worry about what others think of us. It's your life, your choices in life, your fragrance. Granny is just being Granny and sooner or later she'll get tired of it when she sees you don't listen.As long as she sees there is a chance her words will have an effect on you ,she'll keep on.
    If Granny is not going to fixate on your fragrance , then it'll be something else.
    My Granny fixated on my broad shoulders and my sister's hair.
    Last edited by Mimi Gardenia; 15th May 2010 at 04:08 AM.
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  17. #17

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    I agree with Mysticknot. And upon what, one has to wonder, is Granny basing her knowledge of "transvestites and sexual deviants/predators"?

  18. #18
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    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    OMG! I would put on a double dose! No doubt!

  19. #19

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    If someone questioned my sexuality because of fragrance I would just let them to continue to do so with no care on my part.

  20. #20
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    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Tough one- Since we cannot choose our relatives, and you will be in dear Granny's home during your holiday, at her Estate, no less (Ahem, sorry did that sound too much like jealousy raising it's ugly head?) I suggest you take the high road and go scentless for the time you are in her home so she will not even have to think of banning your perceived "deviant habits", or calling the solicitor to strike you off due to them.
    Of course, when you are not staying at the Estate, spritz away- dear boy!
    Last edited by knit at nite; 14th May 2010 at 07:08 PM. Reason: spelling

  21. #21

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Wear something like Yatagan and it might change her mind.

  22. #22

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Just explain to her that you are only a practicing transvestite at the moment and hope for the best

    Seriously though. With people who are elderly and stubborn and set in their ignorant way...well there is not much reasoning to be had. It is kind of a moot topic, because no matter what you say she will still hold her prejudices close to heart. You will just have to acquiesce to her demands while staying with her. Plus, no one would want to be disinherited over a fragrance, now would they.
    Quand on boit l'eau, il faut penser à sa source

  23. #23

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    I think the Baron de Charlus can provide you with the advice you need; perhaps he could even have a word with your grandmother !

  24. #24

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Quote Originally Posted by 30 Roses View Post
    She hasn't banned you yet. Wear fragrance lightly and don't bring it up in discussion, since you will not be able to change her mind.

    If she does ask/tell you not to wear it, that will be the time to stop, and without further discussion. It's her home, her rules.
    In the opinion of a pre-adult ("adult," by my own personal definition) who lives on his own, I think that at the point where it no longer becomes "his choice" whether or not to stay with her.. at that exact moment, he no longer has to submit to her ridiculous whims and wills. Choosing to defy her may cause more grief for you, but I believe that at the point where you have no reasonable option for residence, her ridiculous concepts can flutter about as they will.
    Last edited by AlexbroPA; 15th May 2010 at 06:08 AM.

  25. #25

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Gendarme would probably slip through her olfactory gateway.
    Last edited by adonis; 15th May 2010 at 07:56 AM.

  26. #26

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    2 suggestions:

    1 - wear something light and clean. Mugler cologne, eau de cartier, etc. Soapy might help

    2 - if all else fails, get a couple body washes in your favorite scents. I often go without fragrance and just use my Rive Gauche shower gel. It is strong and long-lasting enough for the girlfriend to offer a compliment 5-6 hours later. If your grandmother asks if you are wearing cologne again, show her the bottle.
    Last edited by Big_Scooter; 15th May 2010 at 08:34 AM.

  27. #27

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    +1
    Quote Originally Posted by knit_at_nite View Post
    Tough one- Since we cannot choose our relatives, and you will be in dear Granny's home during your holiday, ...I suggest you take the high road and go scentless for the time you are in her home...
    Some relatives can be unreasonable, insulting, crazy, etc., etc., etc. And at the same time it's important to keep up family ties - even when it hurts. As a grandparent she deserves some extra kindness because she's one of the reasons why you're alive right now. So even though she gets under your skin, it would be better to sacrifice the scents while you stay with her.
    Anakin: What was that all about?
    Obi-Wan: Well, R2 has been...
    Anakin: No loose wire jokes.
    Obi-Wan: Did I say anything?
    Anakin: He's trying.
    Obi-Wan: I didn't say anything!

    -ROTS


  28. #28

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Hello,

    am i right that your grand-mother is in fact your father’s mother? It’s not neccessary that this is the case for my following assumptions, but they’d be even more likely. Normally the relationship of grandparent to their grandchildren is highly influenced by the relationship between your grandparents and your parents. Often grandchildren are treated extremely well or – as in your case – rather harsh to make a statement of disapproval of how your parents handle your upbringing. It’s some kind of proxy war which often goes back a long way and is based in the oedipal affection your grandmother feels for your father – which normally causes a feeling that your mother is not good enough for her son.
    It has nothing to do with wearing frangrance per se. It’s just a cheap shot to question your sexuality by which she really questions her son’s choices in life and subsequently – as he didn’t follow her advice or didn’t wait for her approval and chose another woman instead of her – his manlyhood.
    Since this isn’t anything your grandmother does consciously, there’s no way you could convince her to change her mind – unless you send her to a therapist, but she doesn’t seem to be the type for that. There are of course strategies to distract her from her current target of criticism, that is finding new target like becoming bad at school or starting to smoke. All this, of course, is no answer to your problem and would cause more trouble that it takes away from you. You should also consider that your current problems with your grandmother are only a fraction of the fights your parents probably had to endure.

    To make your life and your parents life a little easier just tell your grandmother: I think you’re being unreasonable, but i love you more than wearing fragrance. Also, i think i’m a handsome enough guy to attrakt girls without smelling awesome.

    (Even if i’m completely wrong since i don’t know anyone from your family, my advice still stands.)

    Good luck!

  29. #29

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Or you can tell Granny that the girls all try to "convert" you when they think you're gay.

  30. #30

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    If your grandmother insisted that your use of fragrance was proof positive that you were a space alien, here to purchase Volkswagon steering wheels and serve them as small plates in the fashionable tapas restaurants of Alpha Centauri, you would probably give her a polite and worried smile, nod, and change the subject. And you would know that most of her friends probably also know that she's quite insane on certain subjects.

    I would recommend taking the same attitude here.
    Last edited by ChickenFreak; 15th May 2010 at 05:52 PM. Reason: (Edited to change the nature of the space aliens, for fear of misunderstanding.)

  31. #31

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Well, today I called her to ask how she was feeling and to do small talk and then I mentioned the fact that I bought Floris Eau de Toilette, her reaction "FLORIS!!!? Its cheap rubbish worn by proles and nouveau riches, please tell me you are joking!", when I told her Prince Charles wears Floris 89 she started saying "But you are neither a Prince or a King to perfume yourself like this!", I was furious, I don't understand why she reacts this way... My mother didn't seem to mind, even encouraged me. My father whom I thought was rather supportive had a... Well, similar reaction to my grandmother who is indeed his mother.

  32. #32

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    King George III and IV especially IV because he had so many women, I bet the royal english leather didn't hurt his chances lol

  33. #33

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Wow Esquire, your gran sounds like a right mad old bat (whatever her age, which could be from the way she "sounds" anywhere from 48 to 168. Has she been sleeping in suspended animation for a century or something? Have to say her attitude is anachronistic at best, adversarial at worst.) So in the name of family peace I'd definitely suggest just considering her rantings as those of that madwoman who just happens to be your gran, and leave off the scent around her. And if she brings it up (which it sounds like she might, if you don't!) you're on your own... family dynamics are SO tricky!

    Are you sure she doesn't just give you grief like this to wind you up?

    Edit: If you feel she's going to badger you on this or another topic, there's a great little site that I believe is called "Vital Skills" ... yes. http://www.vitalskillsintl.com/ where you can get some very good tips on conversations that tend toward the "awkward".
    Last edited by actiasluna; 15th May 2010 at 10:04 PM. Reason: Thought of something that might actually help!
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  34. #34

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    What can I say? Relatives. DNA and common history is no indication of common sense.

    I remember when I left some peaches out of the fridge, and in retaliation, my grandmother threatened to stick her head in the oven. Her electric oven.

  35. #35

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Quote Originally Posted by Sugandaraja View Post
    I remember when I left some peaches out of the fridge, and in retaliation, my grandmother threatened to stick her head in the oven. Her electric oven.
    *Mmmph*! LOL!
    <wiping fizzy drink off monitor>

    And was she, like my mother, a Mistress of the Double Bind?
    I am operating within established parameters. How are you?

  36. #36

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...



    That was funny!

    Well mine is more likely to kill me or threaten to get me disinherited... There's not much left anyway!

  37. #37

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Quote Originally Posted by Esquire View Post
    Well, today I called her to ask how she was feeling and to do small talk and then I mentioned the fact that I bought Floris Eau de Toilette, her reaction "FLORIS!!!? Its cheap rubbish worn by proles and nouveau riches, please tell me you are joking!", when I told her Prince Charles wears Floris 89 she started saying "But you are neither a Prince or a King to perfume yourself like this!", I was furious, I don't understand why she reacts this way... My mother didn't seem to mind, even encouraged me. My father whom I thought was rather supportive had a... Well, similar reaction to my grandmother who is indeed his mother.
    Frankly, sometimes some family members will be complete idiots. That's just family. Really, that's just people.

    Sometimes they're temporary or partial idiots and you can still have a decent relationship with them, avoiding the subject in question. Sometimes the idiocy reaches a level of toxicity that ceases to be tolerable, and the relationship needs to be put on hold or, sometimes, permanently ended. It appears to me that a time may someday come when you're no longer interested in having a relationship with your grandmother.

    But the point is: It's idiocy. There's no point in arguing with idiocy. You won't change their minds, and you don't owe them the chance to change your mind. So I'd just stop worrying about this issue. Wear fragrance when you're not at your grandmother's place. When you are there, decide whether you're going to obey her irrational rule or sneak around it. But don't think that this irrational judgement of hers actually has any meaning. All it means is that she's, well, irrational.

  38. #38
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    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Does granny also forbid wire hangers?
    Our job is to live joyfully in this world of sorrows--Joseph Campbell

  39. #39
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    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Quote Originally Posted by Sugandaraja View Post
    What can I say? Relatives. DNA and common history is no indication of common sense.

    I remember when I left some peaches out of the fridge, and in retaliation, my grandmother threatened to stick her head in the oven. Her electric oven.
    Agreed on first point Suga !

    *LOL* On 2nd point !

    I tell you .. relatives- you can't live with them and you can't live with them . End of story !

    Esquire - I would refrain from talking about perfume with Granny. You'll drive yourself nuts.
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  40. #40

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Quote Originally Posted by Esquire View Post
    Well, my parents find it absolutely normal, however my grand-mother questions my sexuality because of my fragrance use, she says it is something reserved to women, travestites and sexual deviants/predators. I tried to talk with her and explain that everybody does it but well... This summer I'll be spending the entire holliday at her Estate, I'm affraid she might get upset (She does that sometime "Get dressed properly, we are not going to a communist rally" and can be quite funny but really offensive...) and ban me from using fragrance, I know I don't have the courage to stand up to her. Perhaps I should try to find some examples of people of her generation who were straight and used fragrance, because according to her an english gentleman washes and does not need fragrance... What should I do? She is so old fashioned!
    The concept of a clean bath and no fragrance for a man is from the times of George "Beau" Brummell--can you say 1810? Then our good Comte d'Orsay, ever with a sense of fun, made it acceptable for a man to enjoy scent--even taking perfumed baths.

    Sean Connery wears Jicky. The King of Spain wears Mouchoir. In this day and age, a little scent is a sign of good grooming...just like shaving every day.
    Last edited by Primrose; 16th May 2010 at 04:12 AM.
    "No sweet perfume ever tortured me more than this." Desert Rose by Sting and Cheb Mami, Album 1999.

  41. #41

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Quote Originally Posted by Esquire View Post
    I mentioned the fact that I bought Floris Eau de Toilette, her reaction "FLORIS!!!? Its cheap rubbish worn by proles and nouveau riches, please tell me you are joking!", when I told her Prince Charles wears Floris 89 she started saying "But you are neither a Prince or a King to perfume yourself like this!"(
    This reminds me of the old Jewish mother joke in which a mother gives her son two shirts, a blue one and a yellow one. When he shows up wearing the yellow one, she says, "What? You don't like the blue one?".

    It also reminds me of my own grandmother who, whenever we would tell her about our plans, would say, "Why doesn't anybody ever tell me anything?"

    Bottom line, you can't win.

  42. #42

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Hmm... and more to the point, you, Esq. Esquire, did raise the topic of what scent you just bought in your "checking on Gran" phone convo. (not the smartest move)

    (still, unless you are seriously misquoting her, in what century was she born?)
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  43. #43

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Do what you want, just don't talk about it :) Your gran sounds like the generation/class that don't wear makeup, or dye their hair, or wear musky perfume, or shop in Sainsbury's, or any of the hundreds of things that just aren't done. Except they are, they just don't admit to it.

    Be glad that those sorts of attitudes are dying out, and save up 'funny Gran' stories to tell your kids. She sounds like a character!
    Out here we are running for the wide open spaces, the road-smell after the rain.

  44. #44

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    I would say to appease you grandmother with your clothing by dressing "properly", whatever that means to her. I do not know the specifics of the situations you allude to, but although our society has become more casual overall, not every occasion if casual. I actually am one of a dying breed who do still believe in dressing for the occasion. I really do hate to see jeans, shorts, T-shirts, and such at a wedding or a funeral. I think these events call for a little more formality.

    Once you have conceded to the dress code, wear fragrance sparingly. Lots of straight men wear fragrance, often to smell good for their women. My husband wears fragrance every day because I like it on him and he likes that I like it.

    You grandmother sounds as if she has a strong Puritan strain, and probably nothing will change it. I would like to point out here that up until the late 19th century, there were not "masculine" and "feminine" scents, rather all fragrances were considered unisex. Yes, men did wear floral perfumes! It would probably raise a few eyebrows today if a man wore Joy. I would suggest choosing something "manly" smelling but not overpowering. Don't do anything deliberately to antagonize her, though, no matter what anyone else says. She is still your grandmother, and you should try to get along with her as well as possible. Then, don't discuss you fragrance use unless she brings it up. You won't win the argument in any case. No one can win an argument with his or her grandmother!

  45. #45
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    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    honestly, id just not tell her. what she doesnt know cant turn to gossip

  46. #46

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Wear 10 sprays of kouros, pay a girl (or two) to adore your fragrance in front of your granny and watch her go speechless

  47. #47

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Quote Originally Posted by joey86 View Post
    Wear 10 sprays of kouros, pay a girl (or two) to adore your fragrance in front of your granny and watch her go speechless
    I like your thinking. We need to go into business together!!! lol

  48. #48

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Quote Originally Posted by DavidBond007 View Post
    I like your thinking. We need to go into business together!!! lol
    If that dosent work, spraying kouros on the wall, on the marble statues and on the furniture will help as well.

  49. #49

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Quote Originally Posted by joey86 View Post
    If that dosent work, spraying kouros on the wall, on the marble statues and on the furniture will help as well.
    Do not forget the other boy in the band Body Kouros is a little lonely and wants to join his buddy Kouros

  50. #50

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Some choices....

    1) - Maybe don't wash at all whilst staying with her so that you smell to high heaven and she demands you wash...and use your fave niff in a soap.
    2) - Refrain from calling any of your smellies 'fragrances', this is too a modern a word for her. Use the term 'after shave' if you have to mention it at all.
    3) - When you go there, decant your favourites into some really old fashioned bottles with ancient labels designed specifically for 'ye olde gentlemen type manly after shave'. If you look hard on google image, I bet you could print out something suitable and stick it to any old fashioned looking bottle. Then put your new niffs in there, on the dressing table, and say nothing but show her the bottles if she asks if she hasn't already looked.
    4) - Have a look at all the things she uses and approves of. Make sure yours 'fit into type' whilst there.
    5) - Ask her to buy you something she does approve of.
    6) - If all fails then just use coal tar carbolic soap. Surely she cannot disapprove of that...

    The only real point to look at here is, are you forcing her to accept this aspect of you by even mentioning it, when she obviously doesn't want to?
    Who is really forcing whom to do what?
    It takes two to argue.....
    Is it worth it in the long run?
    Does it matter enough to fall out?

    Grannies aren't around for ever. You could try and love the nicer part of her personality whilst she is alive (if she has any) and ignore the mad confrontational parts. Does she do anything that you like to do too? Maybe change the subject and suggest you both talk of something she enjoys discussing instead. Maybe gardening and the smells of plants instead. You could take her a chocolate cosmos flower this time, then maybe a different scented plant each time you go, thereby using the interest you have and taking it to another level with her so you can both discuss smells with impunity.

    If she bothers this much about what you have on your skin, then she must love you enough to care. Take a picture of a girl who is a friend and tell her it is your girl who is a friend. Let her make her own assumptions and feel at peace with you. Good luck. Let us know how you get on.

  51. #51

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    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Get a sample of Secretions Magnifique and soak her pillow when she isn't home.

  52. #52

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Arg, computer ate my post...I'll try to paraphrase.

    I agree with mikeperez--live and learn and move on because you will never change your family. Once you are more independent, you will be able to do whatever you want. In the meantime, keep your hobby to yourself. Your family has not earned the right to be privvy to your dreams and pleasures.

  53. #53

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    My family questions my sanity.

    My advice: use some sexy ass cologne, and get a girlfriend and show her to your grandma.
    Great works are performed, not by strength, but by perseverance.

  54. #54

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Hmm - her estate?
    Tell her the communist rally is just down the street and WE ARE ALL WEARING KOUROS.
    "Don’t try to be original. Be simple. Be good technically, and if there is something in you, it will come out. ” - Henri Matisse.

    "Wear R de Capucci" - Hirch Duckfinder

    reviews

  55. #55

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Just don't over do it - by that I mean don't bath in fragrances and don't spend an unhealthy amount of time with Guerlain, Chanel and other baroque/feminine looking bottles..

    I don't know where you live but nowadays men are expected to be well groomed and use body sprays/fragrances, albeit judiciously..in some cultures its encouraged (Italy, the middle east, etc.).
    -

  56. #56

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    I guess we all must compromise when it comes to relatives.
    "No sweet perfume ever tortured me more than this." Desert Rose by Sting and Cheb Mami, Album 1999.

  57. #57

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Sorry if my reply comes so late, but I can only sympathize with this situation and tell you to hang on and never renounce your passion, at least not because of the family. With my family, it went quite easy- while there were some raised eyebrows, once I "corrupted" them by increasingly lavish gifts of... fragrance, of course, they liked it too much to ever utter any negative comments. My problem came from female friends, female co-workers, all sorts of female acquaintances, even potential or former female partners, who all or most of them radically questioned not just my sexuality, but also my maturity, my sense of style, my practical abilities, my financial skills and my general outlook on life, stating that wearing fragrances is not manly enough (but, at the same time, squirming with disgust once I put on a powerhouse-style, strong male frag), that fragrances are unfashionable, that they bred unhappiness, that they indicate insecurity, despair, pompous vanity or inelegance.
    While wearing a fragrance in the presence of a lady still makes me slightly uneasy on accounts of her potential reaction, I am becoming simply increasingly indifferent and increasingly wear frags for myself, irrespective of any "sexuality questioning".
    This rather devil-may-care attitude about one's fragrance wardrobe is what I am steadily leaning towards and what I also recommend to any young gentleman discovering or expanding his fragrance passion, since this exudes self-confidence and effortless class, besides, the (unofficial) motto of Knize Ten, but applicable to almost any great male frag is: "Designed not to weaken a lady's spirits, but to strengthen one's own". But, if a lady does not like a fragrance in the first place, no matter in which relation towards this lady the gent finds himself, it shall be far more her loss. Rumors about sexual predators, deviants etc. ... so what? A slight, unimportant collateral damage, if compared to the nearly endless array of satisfactions fragrances have to offer. the And yes, with the risk of only repeating what was said on this board, stay faithful to your hobby, since- as plain as it may sounds- the passion for fragrances is a rare gift.
    Last edited by Ken_Russell; 17th May 2010 at 06:55 PM.

  58. #58

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Quote Originally Posted by Inselaffe View Post
    Even a deviant can smell good
    Sure can

  59. #59
    DON'T DRINK AND DRESS

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    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    Quote Originally Posted by Primrose View Post
    I guess we all must compromise when it comes to relatives.
    Yes..but shouldn't they be willing to do the same for us?
    Our job is to live joyfully in this world of sorrows--Joseph Campbell

  60. #60

    Default Re: My family questions my sexuality because I use Fragrance...

    I do dress more than properly allready, she always tells me how overdressed I am and how vulgar that is. Now she even has rules for hair, "A gentleman combs his hair towards the back of his head, be it slicked back or with a separation", it's so annoying!

    Quote Originally Posted by 50_Roses View Post
    I would say to appease you grandmother with your clothing by dressing "properly", whatever that means to her. I do not know the specifics of the situations you allude to, but although our society has become more casual overall, not every occasion if casual. I actually am one of a dying breed who do still believe in dressing for the occasion. I really do hate to see jeans, shorts, T-shirts, and such at a wedding or a funeral. I think these events call for a little more formality.

    Once you have conceded to the dress code, wear fragrance sparingly. Lots of straight men wear fragrance, often to smell good for their women. My husband wears fragrance every day because I like it on him and he likes that I like it.

    You grandmother sounds as if she has a strong Puritan strain, and probably nothing will change it. I would like to point out here that up until the late 19th century, there were not "masculine" and "feminine" scents, rather all fragrances were considered unisex. Yes, men did wear floral perfumes! It would probably raise a few eyebrows today if a man wore Joy. I would suggest choosing something "manly" smelling but not overpowering. Don't do anything deliberately to antagonize her, though, no matter what anyone else says. She is still your grandmother, and you should try to get along with her as well as possible. Then, don't discuss you fragrance use unless she brings it up. You won't win the argument in any case. No one can win an argument with his or her grandmother!

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