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  1. #1

    Default When does smelling good turn into self centeredness/vanity?

    I love fragrance and I do believe that people here have more respect for their olfactory sense than most.

    ...but often times I've seen people reference wearing cologne on walks, what scent to wear to dinner, etc. I wear a scent when I'm in a romantic setting because I think that nothing is better than smelling sexy, and if I'm dressing up for a special occasion I often put something on, etc. Nothing improves a dull day more than smelling wonderful. I do, though, think that a focus on fragrance often makes people forget that there are many other things in this world that emit smells.
    I love a great fragrance, but if I'm going out to a nice dinner, why let something get in the way of the smell of a fantastic meal? The same goes for time spent outside. I love Bond no. 9's Central Park, but I'm much happier smelling an actual park. I think that in personal situations it's more than fine for a personal to be their focal point of scent, but I'm all for also appreciating smells that don't come in cool glass bottles.

    So what do you guys think, when is it inappropriate to wear a fragrance and when is it going too far?

  2. #2
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    Default Re: When does smelling good turn into self centeredness/vanity?

    its going to far when youre wearing the wrong stuff at the wrong time. EX: Acqua Di Gio to your wedding. you think this stuff is amazing and makes you amazing so you wear it...yeaaah its not exactly the opportune moment to wear that

    as for going too far? i really dont think fragrances can be "too far" in any situation if theyre used right. i wear one literally all day. why? i like stuff that smells good haha. its all about the situation, thats all

  3. #3

    Default Re: When does smelling good turn into self centeredness/vanity?

    Never.

    I believe that good grooming can involve the use of scent. Just as choosing to wear the correct tie (for a business setting or for self-expression), there is nothing wrong with using a scent--ever. Choosing scent is like choosing what to wear in clothing.

    No one condemns a man for being self-centred for choosing a tie. No one, likewise, can condemn a man for choosing scent. The only time scent can be inappropriate or vain is when it is too strong and offensive, such as when one douses oneself with scent or wears too much to a place like a hospital, where some people can be made ill by scent or too much scent.

    I don't believe, for the most part, in "scents for occasions" such as weddings, business, dates, etc. as I believe one should wear one's preference or perhaps a scent to make someone else happy--which is itself a conscious decision.

    I wear Derby around the house--no three-piece suit required...and wearing cotton Bermuda shorts. I wear Back to Black to work. No rules, just what I reach for to spray. I also don't make gender distinctions--I wear what my nose likes.
    Last edited by Primrose; 19th May 2010 at 02:19 AM.
    "No sweet perfume ever tortured me more than this." Desert Rose by Sting and Cheb Mami, Album 1999.

  4. #4

    Default Re: When does smelling good turn into self centeredness/vanity?

    I've thought about some of this too. I burned my scrambled eggs, what type of fragrance should I wear? I'm having a plantar's wart removed from my foot tomorrow, what would be appropriate for this occasion? This isn't exactly what I've seen on the forum but it's not too far off and it's definately out of my scope of fragrance interest. I think if someone really wants to pair smelling good with situational stuff of this calibur then I guess give 'er hell! To each their own, but I don't have the energy or the care to wonder what fragrance would better accent my macaroni salad. I'm probably exaggerating but you get the picture. My interest in fragrance stops at "generally smelling good."

    As for "going for a walk" or whatever, again I wouldn't be planning a scent around this one event either. I'd be wearing what I picked for that day if anything, and moved on. Also can't say I've ever missed out on ambient scents due to wearing a fragrance (i.e. cooking food, bad breath etc.), after the first hour I don't really "smell" what cologne I'm wearing unless either I'm actively sniffing myself, a breeze blows the right way or I change direction and catch sillage.

    As a disclaimer to the first paragraph, I don't mean to trivialize other people's enjoyment of their hobby and isn't my intent. I fully understand people's enjoyment levels will vary from one to another and if your interest transcends the norm I can only say I envy you! I'm still searching for my Mozart focus.
    .Dave J

  5. #5
    Big Punisher's Avatar
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    Default Re: When does smelling good turn into self centeredness/vanity?

    When you join a scent forum.
    WTT: Creed SMW for Creed GIT.

  6. #6

    Default Re: When does smelling good turn into self centeredness/vanity?

    It turns into self-centeredness when you wear so much cologne that you annoy lots of people around you, and you don't give a damn. That's pretty selfish. Enjoying a nice fragrance, and coming up with arcane codes for "this scent matches that occasion" - that's not really self-centered or vain, it's just enjoying a fragrance hobby. Nothing wrong with that, as long as you're not spending damaging amounts of money, or annoying everyone around you with your extreme scent.

    Occasions for which fragrance is inappropriate: yes, heavy fragrance around dining experiences is not a good idea. Heavy fragrance at a gym or yoga class is not appreciated. No heavy fragrances on airplanes, in theaters, classrooms, offices, or any other place where you're likely to be confined for hours in close proximity to others. Fragrances that are extremely ill-matched to specific occasions - well, that's not self-centered, it's just more on the stupid side.

  7. #7

    Default Re: When does smelling good turn into self centeredness/vanity?

    Well, you simply can't buy good taste in general and secondly, a feeling how much to apply of what at specific occasions.

  8. #8

    Default Re: When does smelling good turn into self centeredness/vanity?

    That is a little feminine although not vain.

  9. #9

    Default Re: When does smelling good turn into self centeredness/vanity?

    Quote Originally Posted by Asmo View Post
    That is a little feminine although not vain.
    It is interesting that a few centuries ago, men were all about fashion and high heel shoes were actually invented for men! Good grooming is about respect for the people you're meeting and is definitely an important factor for girls, so I think it's important to be clear how I smell.

    As for the question of vanity, I feel that as people who enjoy fragrances or see fragrance collection as a hobby, just this fact does not make us vain. I would consider a vain person as someone who is a little narcissistic, who feels his outward appearance as the utmost importance. If you are the type of person who checks himself in every single mirror you come across, you're vain. But if you find that you have a certain fragrance you like to wear when you're walking the dog, or going to the grocery shop, I don't think it's vain, especially if it's for your own enjoyment. It's like someone who enjoys a certain kind of beverage to complement a certain kind of food. It's only vain if you put on the fragrance while walking the dog so that people will think that you are as fabulous as you think you are. Definitely it's not vain, if you wear a certain kind of fragrance so as not to offend the people you are with, for example, I will not be wearing Musc de Kublai Khan in the office or going to be in a small space with people.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: When does smelling good turn into self centeredness/vanity?

    I think people with a healthy self-regard (or self-respect, if you prefer) naturally take care of ourselves and are usually outgoing, or at least social enough to want to make a good impression on others. That includes things like bathing, brushing teeth, wearing clean and neat clothes (no matter how casual), and so forth. Using scent is just such a decision about one's overall appearance and toilette. Not every person who cares about his/her appearance is a fop or a poppinjay; in fact, I would say the opposite is generally true. People who care about appearance usually go to some lengths to discern and stay within the bounds of propriety and good sense.

    If one always bears in mind the mottoes Μηδὲν ἄγαν (Mēden agan), "Nothing in excess," and Est modus in rebus, "There is measure in all things," there should never be a problem.
    Yr good bud,

    JaimeB

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    Let him who can hope for nothing despair of nothing.

    —Seneca

  11. #11

    Default Re: When does smelling good turn into self centeredness/vanity?

    Quote Originally Posted by JaimeB View Post
    I think people with a healthy self-regard (or self-respect, if you prefer) naturally take care of ourselves and are usually outgoing, or at least social enough to want to make a good impression on others. That includes things like bathing, brushing teeth, wearing clean and neat clothes (no matter how casual), and so forth. Using scent is just such a decision about one's overall appearance and toilette. Not every person who cares about his/her appearance is a fop or a poppinjay; in fact, I would say the opposite is generally true. People who care about appearance usually go to some lengths to discern and stay within the bounds of propriety and good sense.

    If one always bears in mind the mottoes Μηδὲν ἄγαν (Mēden agan), "Nothing in excess," and Est modus in rebus, "There is measure in all things," there should never be a problem.
    I love those words, JaimeB. Not that I like affected fops and their egomania, but the words are so nice to see in print! Being well-groomed, as I said in my earlier post, sometimes includes the use of scent--period.

    And, yes, joining a fragrance forum is the start of becoming obsessive or at least inquisitive about the connoisseurship of wearing scent.

    Please keep sharing your Greek and Latin maxims. For those of us deficient in that direction of schooling, the words are musical to our ears.

    --Primrose, poppinjay emerita
    Last edited by Primrose; 19th May 2010 at 03:30 PM.
    "No sweet perfume ever tortured me more than this." Desert Rose by Sting and Cheb Mami, Album 1999.

  12. #12

    Default Re: When does smelling good turn into self centeredness/vanity?

    To put this in other words, one can be selfcentered/vane without ever wearing perfume and at the same time I would have to agree with the Big Punisher, there is a healthy(?) dose of those in all of us who write here. Μηδὲν ἄγαν... (Jaime, I am greek and I do not have the old (kathareuoussa) greek accentuation marks in my pc. !!!!)
    Last edited by cpk; 19th May 2010 at 07:53 PM.

  13. #13
    Ken_Russell's Avatar
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    Default Re: When does smelling good turn into self centeredness/vanity?

    To me, the "collateral benefits" of smelling good are usually that great, that a bit of vanity/self-centeredness on the wearer almost becomes actually a turn-on, an attraction, a virtue and an intellectual/spiritual/emotional stimulus for me
    Last edited by Ken_Russell; 19th May 2010 at 07:44 PM.

  14. #14

    Default Re: When does smelling good turn into self centeredness/vanity?

    Self centeredness yes , I wear my smells just for me and noone else .... for vanity , no I dont think so

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    Default Re: When does smelling good turn into self centeredness/vanity?

    I don't think my wearing fragrances is at odds with the experiencing of smells of the daily world.
    That girl, that bottle, that mattress and me.

  16. #16
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    Default Re: When does smelling good turn into self centeredness/vanity?

    When your fragrance selection/application parallels wearing a clown suit to a funeral (funerals for clowns excepted)
    Deep in the dark your kiss will thrill me
    Like days of old. Lighting the spark of love that fills me
    with dreams untold..--Twilight Time

  17. #17
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    Default Re: When does smelling good turn into self centeredness/vanity?

    When you look at yourself in the mirror when applying your fragrance.
    Please feel free to check out my Swap Thread - Patou pour Homme, L'Instant de Guerlain PH Extreme, Dior Homme Intense, Pure Malt, Pure Coffee and many more! Click Here For My Swap Thread

  18. #18

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    Default Re: When does smelling good turn into self centeredness/vanity?

    I never think of fragrance as a way to make myself better, but rather as an object of enjoyment. I don't wear/buy fragrance for other people to smell and judge me upon-- it is for me.
    If fragrance has a gender, so does all art.

  19. #19
    SoGent's Avatar
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    Default Re: When does smelling good turn into self centeredness/vanity?

    Is it vanity NOT to wanna smell like every other joe six pack in your town ?

    Wait . . . . that's self expression - isn't it ?

  20. #20

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    Cool Re: When does smelling good turn into self centeredness/vanity?

    Quote Originally Posted by Big Punisher View Post
    When you join a scent forum.


    Or when you graduate from: " I wear scents not for others but because I like the smell. "

    To: " I never care what other people think of what I wear. "

    To the final stage: " You mean there are other people? "

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  21. #21

    Default Re: When does smelling good turn into self centeredness/vanity?

    Quote Originally Posted by petruccijc View Post
    When you look at yourself in the mirror when applying your fragrance.
    *Gleep!* (oh dear. I do this. It's so I aim accurately of course!)

    LOL
    Actias luna's fragrance reviews | Now blogging with AromiErotici, Carrie Meredith, Mimi Gardenia, Sugandaraja, Asha, bluesoul, shamu1, Redneck Perfumisto and Daly Beauty at Il Mondo di Odore
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  22. #22

    Default Re: When does smelling good turn into self centeredness/vanity?

    Quote Originally Posted by m.francisco View Post
    Nothing improves a dull day more than smelling wonderful. I do, though, think that a focus on fragrance often makes people forget that there are many other things in this world that emit smells.
    WIth all due respect I disagree. Nature has come up with some good smells, but none that I would bottle and make into a perfume that I'd wear myself. I challenge any garden in the world that can smell as sumptuously rich as Chanel's Coco. Or an almond confection that smells as good as Guerlain's L'instant Magic.
    Q: How do you make a feminine fragrance masculine?
    A: Add 'Pour Homme' to the bottle
    - Pierre Bourdon

  23. #23

    Default Re: When does smelling good turn into self centeredness/vanity?

    Quote Originally Posted by GourmandHomme View Post
    WIth all due respect I disagree. Nature has come up with some good smells, but none that I would bottle and make into a perfume that I'd wear myself. I challenge any garden in the world that can smell as sumptuously rich as Chanel's Coco. Or an almond confection that smells as good as Guerlain's L'instant Magic.
    Exactly. You can walk through a garden and appreciate the scents, but you can't bottle those scents and wear them, unless you ARE one of the world's great noses.
    Actias luna's fragrance reviews | Now blogging with AromiErotici, Carrie Meredith, Mimi Gardenia, Sugandaraja, Asha, bluesoul, shamu1, Redneck Perfumisto and Daly Beauty at Il Mondo di Odore
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  24. #24

    Default Re: When does smelling good turn into self centeredness/vanity?

    Quote Originally Posted by petruccijc View Post
    When you look at yourself in the mirror when applying your fragrance.
    LOL! petruccijc! I am conjuring images of a dandy rubbing Macassar oil through his hair and on his testosterone-filled beard, then touching some rare extrait onto his hirsute, admirable pectorals...now that's vanity...proud as a strutting peacock in all his male glory.
    Last edited by Primrose; 20th May 2010 at 02:41 AM.
    "No sweet perfume ever tortured me more than this." Desert Rose by Sting and Cheb Mami, Album 1999.

  25. #25

    Default Re: When does smelling good turn into self centeredness/vanity?

    Quote Originally Posted by petruccijc View Post
    When you look at yourself in the mirror when applying your fragrance.
    Is there another way to put on fragrance? :-)

  26. #26

    Default Re: When does smelling good turn into self centeredness/vanity?

    I dunno... If theres a scent I love but I know everyone else will hate I'll only wear it when I'm alone or only so lightly applied that others can't smell it. Why? Well I actually do care what others think of how I smell. I'm really not out to offend anyone and ideally I'd like for people to associate me with smelling nice and being fairly well groomed ( among other hopefully positive characteristics).

    Granted the number one priority is my enjoyment of the scent, but others enjoying or at the least not being offended by my smell is important to me also. That said its impossible to please everyone which is also something I consider if I get negative feedback on a scent.

    Once at work I had a girl say "God your killing me with that cologne!" I was pretty taken back as I'm always trying to not overdo it at the work place. Another girl hearing her got closer and said she couldn't smell anything, so she go closer and still couldnt smell anything, then she pretty much buried her face in my neck and said "ooooh, yea I can smell it now, smells AWESOME what is it your wearing?". This was while wearing Gucci Pour Homme II a scent that is very light and super inoffensive but I still managed to find someone who felt beat over the head by a 3 hour old 4 spray application of this scent.

    Hmm maybe I've gotten off the topic a bit? Anyway I love nice scents and I'd prefer that if someone else does smell me that they enjoy what they are smelling. Does that make me kind and giving or self centered? Dunno but I DO look at myself in the mirror when applying cologne 9 times outta 10 as its part of my just out of the shower routine

  27. #27
    Emlynevermore's Avatar
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    Red face Re: When does smelling good turn into self centeredness/vanity?

    Look, it's all fun and games until someone accidentally moans "Shalimar" instead of her name during sex.

  28. #28

    Default Re: When does smelling good turn into self centeredness/vanity?

    I didnt have time to read the whole thread, but wearing a scent for me is like having just showered and smelling nice. I enjoy it. Shower gels only last so long....The fragrances I wear doesnt take over my surroundings. Im still able to enjoy scents that arent bottled.

    Interesting topic.
    Kerosene fragrance samples and bottles here: www.min.com

  29. #29

    Default Re: When does smelling good turn into self centeredness/vanity?

    Get that Quaker outfit off..it's out of date ! I speak as one,so only joking. I suppose if you thought of nothing else but clothes,fragrances and how you looked 24/7 that's too much ( reminds me of a British singer ..cough). Thank goodness for soap and water , lovely fragrances etc . Quakers are pretty liberal in the U.K and my husband had hysterics when he found out you could have been shunned for listening to music !!! I wonder what they did to scent lovers ?

  30. #30
    Renato's Avatar
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    Default Re: When does smelling good turn into self centeredness/vanity?

    You seem to be saying that wearing a scent somehow precludes you from properly smelling food or grass and trees in the park, at the very same time. I can't say I go along with that notion.

    Don't forget - there are probably lots of trucks and cars driving by that park, and their fumes don't stop you smelling it.

    Similarly, when you are sitting in front of a fine meal in a restaurant, it's not like the choice is between the odour of the meal and the odour of your scent. Instead it's a choice between the odour of the meal, the odour of your scent and the odour of dozens of people sitting around you.

    Your brain automatically filters out certain smells. It will filter out your scent too, unless you keep focusing on it.
    Renato
    Last edited by Renato; 20th May 2010 at 07:49 PM.

  31. #31
    DeepSilence
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    Default Re: When does smelling good turn into self centeredness/vanity?

    Honestly, just wearing a perfume, shows we want to be in center of attention. else we can solve our problem just with a deodorant or antiperspirants.
    Last edited by DeepSilence; 20th May 2010 at 07:57 PM.

  32. #32

    Default Re: When does smelling good turn into self centeredness/vanity?

    Quote Originally Posted by Hamid View Post
    Honestly, just wearing a perfume, shows we want to be in center of attention. else we can solve our problem just with a deodorant or antiperspirants.
    Hamid you are being ironic I hope? I wear a lot of fragrances for me ,just today all alone I wore "Une Rose" and sniffed in the rich beauty for myself. I don't care if anyone notices my perfumes even my husband. He often does thank-goodness but it's for my pleasure . I am not likely to be noticed by anyone unless I wore a light bulb on my head.

  33. #33
    DeepSilence
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    Default Re: When does smelling good turn into self centeredness/vanity?

    Quote Originally Posted by Valerie View Post
    Hamid you are being ironic I hope? I wear a lot of fragrances for me ,just today all alone I wore "Une Rose" and sniffed in the rich beauty for myself. I don't care if anyone notices my perfumes even my husband. He often does thank-goodness but it's for my pleasure . I am not likely to be noticed by anyone unless I wore a light bulb on my head.

    Actually i know girls wear perfume just for itself. but just look at the top thread in Male Discussion! It's about which one got most compliments from females. I like fragrances very much. at home everyday i use to wear one of my collection for myself. But males want to be omnipotence totally.
    Last edited by DeepSilence; 20th May 2010 at 09:04 PM.

  34. #34

    Default Re: When does smelling good turn into self centeredness/vanity?

    I think, in answer to the question, from the first time you wear fragrance. In itself, unless you are trying to mask hideous body odour, you are expressing a vanity.

    Let us remember that the original reason for wearing fragrance was to mask the hideousness of poor body hygiene in the first place.

    I wear fragrance because at heart I am something of a dandy and like to be noticed. I like wearing nice clothes, being well groomed and smelling great. People wear fragrances to feel special, good about themselves, which in itself is a vanity however you dress it up.
    In a world where people smell bad, it is the personal responsibility of every Basenoter to improve the world one SotD at a time...

  35. #35
    DustB's Avatar
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    Default Re: When does smelling good turn into self centeredness/vanity?

    Quote Originally Posted by Renato View Post
    You seem to be saying that wearing a scent somehow precludes you from properly smelling food or grass and trees in the park, at the very same time. I can't say I go along with that notion.

    Don't forget - there are probably lots of trucks and cars driving by that park, and their fumes don't stop you smelling it.

    Similarly, when you are sitting in front of a fine meal in a restaurant, it's not like the choice is between the odour of the meal and the odour of your scent. Instead it's a choice between the odour of the meal, the odour of your scent and the odour of dozens of people sitting around you.

    Your brain automatically filters out certain smells. It will filter out your scent too, unless you keep focusing on it.
    Renato
    Oh yes. Exactly what Renato says.
    That girl, that bottle, that mattress and me.

  36. #36
    leto's Avatar
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    Default Re: When does smelling good turn into self centeredness/vanity?

    Quote Originally Posted by Emlynevermore View Post
    Look, it's all fun and games until someone accidentally moans "Shalimar" instead of her name during sex.
    LOL that's funny

  37. #37

    Default Re: When does smelling good turn into self centeredness/vanity?

    Quote Originally Posted by Hamid View Post
    Actually i know girls wear perfume just for itself. but just look at the top thread in Male Discussion! It's about which one got most compliments from females. I like fragrances very much. at home everyday i use to wear one of my collection for myself. But males want to be omnipotence totally.
    Oh errrrrrrrr,help only God is omnipotent !! If I wasn't married Hamid I'd stay celebate ...honestly not all men are Jeremy Clarkson types ( you have to be English to get that !! )

  38. #38
    DeepSilence
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    Default Re: When does smelling good turn into self centeredness/vanity?

    Quote Originally Posted by Valerie View Post
    Oh errrrrrrrr,help only God is omnipotent !! If I wasn't married Hamid I'd stay celebate ...honestly not all men are Jeremy Clarkson types ( you have to be English to get that !! )
    I know him. but i didn't get. you mean he is handsome, attractive? and most of men can't be similar him? I don't want to be like him, I have my own fans !!

  39. #39

    Default Re: When does smelling good turn into self centeredness/vanity?

    Hi Hamid...no to many women he is horrible,all macho vile over testosterone type. Most women I know like the "new man" type. To be honest most of my male friends are gay ..and I am beginning to think "thank-goodness".

  40. #40
    DeepSilence
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    Default Re: When does smelling good turn into self centeredness/vanity?

    Quote Originally Posted by Valerie View Post
    Hi Hamid...no to many women he is horrible,all macho vile over testosterone type. Most women I know like the "new man" type. To be honest most of my male friends are gay ..and I am beginning to think "thank-goodness".

    Hi Valerie

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