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  1. #1

    Unhappy It has finally happened to me....

    I know, there are all sorts of threads in the archives about this kind o' thing, but I'm kinda bummed right now.... Anyways, it's finally happened to me. Yesterday someone at work complained about my fume. He said every time I come around he gets a migraine. He was ruder than usual to the rest of our coworkers, too, citing the migraine and nausea. I took a bottle of alcohol and a cotton ball into the bathroom and scrubbed it off my arms the best I could. The thing that bites the most is that this guy is a real jerk.
    I told him I wouldn't wear this particular scent on when I know we're working together (usually, and thankfully, only once a week) but he them told me there are three or four other coworkers who have sensitivities, too. So I asked around, because I felt horrible, and I wanted to be sure he wasn't being a lying jerk on top of things. One gal said she's never noticed anything I've worn, and the other I have yet to ask. But how sad, that something that brings some people so much pleasure is such a source of discomfort for others. How crummy, also, for people to not be able to enjoy the pleasure of a beautiful smell.

  2. #2
    DeepSilence
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    Default Re: It has finally happened to me....

    They are jealous. Don't care.
    They don't know anything about perfumes, and they want to make you like themselves.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: It has finally happened to me....

    Oh, baby, first of all, come here. Hugs, hugs, hugs.
    That stinging comment will wear off faster than O de Lancome, you'll see.
    You're right, it is sad that some people can't enjoy fragrances and that some get bad reactions to them, however, there's no excusing jerks. If I'd been in his place, I'd have said something explanatory but not attacking.
    You know just how to handle things, I'm sure, and don't need any advice.
    Funny that the thing this guy's rebuffing is the very thing I wish I could smell right now — fragrant you!
    In a world where 6 million people are added each month, every landscape matters.

  4. #4

    Default Re: It has finally happened to me....

    Sorry you got blasted by this jerk, seems like he's stretching the truth a bit too if one of the other alleged "sensitives" didn't notice anything. I really don't pay too much heed to the concerns of my coworkers on this score. The only one who ever complained about me did NOT complain about her BFF's Angel bath or her another staff member's Amarige OD and regularly "steps" out for a few cigs. I think her concerns reflected something other that respiratory issues....maybe your "jerk" has some other nonsense rummaging around in his brain

  5. #5
    DeepSilence
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    Default Re: It has finally happened to me....

    Do you know what is the best answer?

    ""I wonder why you don't wear anything?!
    Have you tried Ungaro VI (for example) before. I think they made it just for you!! ""

    Or

    "" I wonder why you don't wear anything?! everyday i should bear your bad smell!!""

  6. #6

    Default Re: It has finally happened to me....

    Sorry you have to deal with this! It's possible that the smell irritates him just because he irritable, and so looks for an outside source for his mood.

    Many years ago, when I was a smoker, I noticed how irrational and inconsistent some people were about their aversion to the smell -- one example:

    When one girlfriend came to my apartment, she would sit across the room from me, hang her head half out the window and complain bitterly about the smoke stench and that she couldn't breath. (Even though I was holding the cigarette out another window and blowing the smoke out that window.) Then, she fell in love, and would happily hang out for hours with her new love in his favorite, very smoky bar, with no apparent ill effects. :-)

    So I'm wondering if this guy is really getting headaches or just likes to bitch. Maybe he needs attention or likes to be controlling. I guess if it were me, I'd quit wearing a fragrance for a while (and tell him that you've quit out of consideration for him), then in a couple weeks start again going light, and if he notices a scent, tell him he must be smelling your shampoo or soap or lotion.

  7. #7

    Default Re: It has finally happened to me....

    Well said C Rose.

  8. #8

    Default Re: It has finally happened to me....

    How sad that some people cannot enjoy perfume.

    Again, what of smokers? Even if they "step outside" and light up, the stench of the smoke from their clothes and lungs permeates an office.

    What of those people?

    I hope this turns out well for you. Some people just don't like perfumes. They are usually a pathetic lot who dislike any pleasures of the senses. (Occasionally, you will encounter a person with sever allergies. I once worked with a woman who was sensitive to one of my perfumes, so I switched to another. She stopped sneezing and all was well.)

    Hugs, Primrose
    "No sweet perfume ever tortured me more than this." Desert Rose by Sting and Cheb Mami, Album 1999.

  9. #9

    Default Re: It has finally happened to me....

    It's a shame, it seems some folks are just out looking for any excuse to make a fuss & make someone else to feel bad. Happens a lot where I work.

    I love non-work days - spray as much as you like, of whatever the hell you fancy, bliss :-)

  10. #10

    Default Re: It has finally happened to me....

    First off, I'm so sorry (((hugs to Sunnyfunny))) that this person didn't express himself more tactfully and that he hurt your feelings. He had no right to behave like that. But now I'm going to play devil's advocate (and everybody can get mad at me if they like): some people are truly extremely sensitive to smells, including perfumes, cigarette smoke, cooking smells, chemical smells, all kinds of things. My husband is one of them. He likes having me around so he tolerates my perfumes (just like I tolerate his sports watching), but there have been times he has gotten annoyed and gone around throwing open the windows to clear the air, with a pissed off look on his face, giving me dark looks. He can't help it - some fragrances really are irritating to him. Again, though, your co-worker had no right being a jerk about it. He may have his sensitivities, but so do you! And speaking on behalf of other co-workers is lame...let them speak for themselves. I'm sorry you're going through this. It's one of those dividing line issues and people need to learn how to communicate more effectively about it. Just remember one thing no matter what: WE ALL THINK YOU SMELL DIVINE!!

  11. #11

    Default Re: It has finally happened to me....

    I am amazed at the number of people who can't stand fragrance.....I've noticed that many are unhappy in every area of their life.....Of course this is not always the case.....Keep smiling and keep spraying SunnyFunny.....Gary

  12. #12
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    Default Re: It has finally happened to me....

    Oh SunnyFunny / L ! HUGS and MORE HUGS! That guy just wanted to ruin your day. You have wonderful taste in perfume and don't listen to him. Best not to wear much perfume when he is going to be around ( he'll just use it to annoy you ) but otherwise I would not listen to what he has said .
    http://www.basenotes.net/threads/370...o-Profumo-Onda
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  13. #13

    Default Re: It has finally happened to me....

    Be tricky. Bribe. Works for me.

    Signed,
    A,
    A Smoker

  14. #14
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    Default Re: It has finally happened to me....

    While I do believe that the vast majority of people who complain about perfumes and scents in general are just attention-seekers, I have definitely had days where I was feeling a bit queezy and a co-worker's perfume has made me feel physically ill, so I know that it really does happen, especially with pregnant women and the chronically sick.

    Good luck...
    Has everyone checked out my Top 100 Blog??

  15. #15

    Default Re: It has finally happened to me....

    ... and the chronically mean.

  16. #16

    Default Re: It has finally happened to me....

    Well boooooooooo-hoooooooooo to Scrooge McBloggy-blogs and his perfume-provoked hack and wheeze! Puh-leeze! Save the drama for your momma I say!
    Wearing perfume is a part of maintaining exceptional personal grooming standards and if he takes exception to it, then distance yourself from him (provided that you do not have to work in close/closed quarters on a daily basis of course). Unless the head-honcho at work calls you out on it, I would advise you do not change a thing. His rudeness and lack of tact speak to the fact he just wants to vent and belittle. AMP UP YOUR MIGRAINE MEDS, SONNY!

    People like this make my blood boil! Can you tell?

  17. #17

    Default Re: It has finally happened to me....

    Thanks for all the hugs, support, and advice, guys & gals. I'm off to my baby sister's baby shower, so I'll respond a bit later. xxoo

  18. #18
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    Default Re: It has finally happened to me....

    Quote Originally Posted by Sorcery of Scent View Post
    Well boooooooooo-hoooooooooo to Scrooge McBloggy-blogs and his perfume-provoked hack and wheeze! Puh-leeze! Save the drama for your momma I say!
    Wearing perfume is a part of maintaining exceptional personal grooming standards and if he takes exception to it, then distance yourself from him (provided that you do not have to work in close/closed quarters on a daily basis of course). Unless the head-honcho at work calls you out on it, I would advise you do not change a thing. His rudeness and lack of tact speak to the fact he just wants to vent and belittle. AMP UP YOUR MIGRAINE MEDS, SONNY!

    People like this make my blood boil! Can you tell?
    Very well said Sorcery of Scent!!! Sunnyfunny so sorry this happened to you, but considering how rudely this co-worker handled things I agree with SOS, don't change a thing.

  19. #19

    Default Re: It has finally happened to me....

    I know 1 person who really does have perfume sensitivities. She has approached coworkers discretely and politely, explained her issue and asked them if they wouldn't mind toning down their scent.
    She was apologetic and said there was no need to completely forgo perfume, but just minimize sillage, if possible.
    People more than happy to accommodate her as the request was not unreasonable. Most chose scented lotions or simply decreased the amount of perfume they wore, and everybody was happy.

    The jerky, self centered, head up his ass, dramaqueenish momma's boy who got in your face ought to have a dozen of those horrid plug in air deodorizers plugged in his office, seriously. He's being a territorial bully.

  20. #20

    Default Re: It has finally happened to me....

    Huge hugs to you for having to go through that. I do often wonder if some of the complaints made are just for the sake of complaining. Usually people who have true issues with fragrance induced migraines/allergies are much more tactful in trying to explain themselves. He sounds as if he was just out of sorts and you happened to be there at the wrong moment.
    Just know that I am always enchanted and delighted with all your scent choices, especially No 22.
    Quand on boit l'eau, il faut penser sa source

  21. #21
    DON'T DRINK AND DRESS

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    Default Re: It has finally happened to me....

    Wear no fragrance but tell him you are wearing a special one that shouldn't bother him. If he says it does..well, then you will know he is full of it.
    'Those who grow too big for their pants will be exposed in the end'--anon

  22. #22

    Default Re: It has finally happened to me....

    Quote Originally Posted by kbe View Post
    Wear no fragrance but tell him you are wearing a special one that shouldn't bother him. If he says it does..well, then you will know he is full of it.
    Well THIS is an interesting idea! :-)

    I'm thankful that this may not limit your wearing too much, Sunnyfunny. If you're only around him once a week, and it's just one fragrance, then perhaps things will be tolerable. But ick sorry you have a jerk at work!

    I do think you're smart and considerate to check with the others.

  23. #23

    Default Re: It has finally happened to me....

    I have one nurse that often tells me that my perfume gives her a headache and how much she dislikes perfume. I told her GOOD!! Now I know how to keep you away from me lol. There's no way I could wash my perfume off though, not the way I apply it lol. I wouldn't do it anyway. Sorry he ruined your day. I know me though. I would put on extra and walk up to his desk and start twirling like Wonder Woman use to do when she got ready to change into a super hero LOL! I'm such a stinker, in more ways than one LOL! Don't let that get to you Sunnyfunny. Wear your perfume. Unless there is a policy stating that you can't, then they will just have to suck it up. I gots to smell good and have my music going at work or folks would be gettin windmilled every 5 mins up and through here lol. Have a great w/e Girl.
    Diva is fartin in your perfume mist before you walk through it!! Walk slow and let it marinate......

    Divatologist....Breaking perfume rules since 1969
    I smells goooooooooooood! Don't believe me? Come smell me!!

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  24. #24

    Default Re: It has finally happened to me....

    Sunnyfunny,
    I'm sorry that this happened to you. You'd be the best judge on how to react in your work environment but my approach would be to ease up on the scent for awhile and then go back to normal. By fighting back and amping it up, you run the risk that he'll get aggressive and get your employer to ban scents altogether. Unfortunately, "health risks" are taken seriously and fragrances are already threatened. Some just wait for an excuse to get them banned.
    At some workplaces, you'll be considered the guilty party and if you fight back, you'll also be disciplined. On the other hand, the "migrane" guy can file for Workers' Comp and be off work on pay (at least here in the U.S.).

    P.S. Diva! Where have you been? We've missed you!

  25. #25

    Default Re: It has finally happened to me....

    Quote Originally Posted by kbe View Post
    Wear no fragrance but tell him you are wearing a special one that shouldn't bother him. If he says it does..well, then you will know he is full of it.
    I love that idea. I think SF should do it.

  26. #26

    Default Re: It has finally happened to me....

    Thanks again for all your responses. You all have made me feel so much better. I don't doubt this guy has sensitivities, but I also don't doubt he was exaggerating them (seems he has a touch of a headache all the time, so my fume might have exacerbated it or whatev.) The funny thing is that I've worn this fume on days we've worked together before, and he's only now said something. At any rate, I'm trying to take the high road, so I plan on wearing no fume next time I work with him and if he says anything negative (which he has yet to say anything positive to me...) then... well....
    Anyways, I'm really happy that the consensus is to not stop altogether, even on those days. This guy is, unfortunately, everything you all have said (chronically mean hits the nail on the head.) You know what bites? The fume he complained about was my No. 22.

  27. #27

    Default Re: It has finally happened to me....

    Quote Originally Posted by Sunnyfunny View Post
    You know what bites? The fume he complained about was my No. 22.
    OH NO!!!!!! How can this be. It is such a glorious scent! He is an oaf, plain and simple. Double the {{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}!!!!! You need them.

    I hope at least you had a wonderful time at your sister's baby shower and everyone else did also. Congrats to her.
    Quand on boit l'eau, il faut penser sa source

  28. #28

    Default Re: It has finally happened to me....

    Quote Originally Posted by Brielle87 View Post
    OH NO!!!!!! How can this be. It is such a glorious scent! He is an oaf, plain and simple. Double the {{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}!!!!! You need them.

    I hope at least you had a wonderful time at your sister's baby shower and everyone else did also. Congrats to her.
    I know! You're so right, Brielle, he is an oaf. Thank you for the extra hugs. The baby shower was a great time, the mimosas were flowing and my sis was spoiled rotten.

  29. #29

    Default Re: It has finally happened to me....

    My kindest thoughts go out to you, please ignore the ones with no substantial passion for frags and even poorer manners

    Frags are made to celebrate diversity, they are a complex gift of artistic and creative perception, still with or without fragrance, you and your personality remain unique, while some people simply settle on "the worst of both worlds", apart from not knowing anything about frags and not appreciating them according to their true value, they are also rude about this. In my opinion, you are the moral winner in all this, and while my reaction comes a little belated, you know you can always count in such situations on Basenoter's and, of course, my support, as well my admiration for the downright stunning No. 22

  30. #30

    Default Re: It has finally happened to me....

    Quote Originally Posted by Sorcery of Scent View Post
    Well boooooooooo-hoooooooooo to Scrooge McBloggy-blogs and his perfume-provoked hack and wheeze! Puh-leeze! Save the drama for your momma I say!
    Wearing perfume is a part of maintaining exceptional personal grooming standards and if he takes exception to it, then distance yourself from him (provided that you do not have to work in close/closed quarters on a daily basis of course). Unless the head-honcho at work calls you out on it, I would advise you do not change a thing. His rudeness and lack of tact speak to the fact he just wants to vent and belittle. AMP UP YOUR MIGRAINE MEDS, SONNY!

    People like this make my blood boil! Can you tell?
    This! SoS said it perfectly. The fact that he is complaining about Chanel 22 shows what a neanderthal he must be. Sorry he was such a knob. He doesn't deserve to smell your loveliness xo
    beauty guru & perfume whisperer
    dalybeauty.ca
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  31. #31
    Basenotes Junkie shoegal68's Avatar
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    Default Re: It has finally happened to me....

    Ooohhh sweetie big((( hugs))) to you, who cares what some obnoxious office bully says

    whaa whaa whaa tell him he gives you a headache
    Happiness is a summer breeze, sand between your toes, and your family by your side.

  32. #32

    Default Re: It has finally happened to me....

    You all are so sweet. I did wear five sprays of 22 on the day in question. And Jane, no, he most definitely does not deserve to smell my loveliness!

  33. #33

    Default Re: It has finally happened to me....

    So sad Sunnyfunny.
    But I think that a person can get sensitive so that a fragrance that hasn't bothered him earlier suddenly can get him a headace. You can suddenly get an allergic reaction from food that you haven't got any reactions from earlier for instance. Luckily you only work together with this guy once a week so you can wear your beloved nr 22 all other days.

  34. #34

    Default Re: It has finally happened to me....

    Poor Sunny! Is this person allergic to all nice smells or just the ones coming from you?

  35. #35

    Default Re: It has finally happened to me....

    Hey DD! Apparently he does have sensitivities; another coworker attested to this when I told her his migraine was my fault.

  36. #36

    Default Re: It has finally happened to me....

    Considering all the horrible, generic perfumes out now it seems a crime he objected to such a glorious classic! The best course of action is to be polite and gracious- hopefully it will shame him that you have not stooped to his level of rudeness!

  37. #37

    Default Re: It has finally happened to me....

    ...Or I could douse myself in Tabu... Oh wait, high road, right?

  38. #38

    Default Re: It has finally happened to me....

    Hmm... The high road is not as fun as virtually bathing in Poison, or maybe Samsara......

  39. #39
    Basenotes Junkie shoegal68's Avatar
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    Default Re: It has finally happened to me....

    or Giorgio (smiling devilishly )
    Happiness is a summer breeze, sand between your toes, and your family by your side.

  40. #40

    Default Re: It has finally happened to me....

    Oh no! I sort of agree with C Rose, some people complain about fragrance because it's an easy thing to pick on. I think I've told the story here before, but my mom had a co-worker that would complain, but then had no problem with it when she need my mom to help her get something done. Some people really are sensitive, but if he's never complained before now and you've been working together for quite a while, I suspect he was just in a bad mood and wanted to pick on you.

  41. #41

    Default Re: It has finally happened to me....

    Some people are sensitive to certain scents. Its too bad he was a jerk about it but intentionally wearing a perfume to annoy him is more than likely not going to work in your favor. A lot of offices these days are beginning to go perfume free and I bet if he pushed it, it wouldn't take that much.

    There is a new girl at my work that wears a perfume that makes me all stuffy and I get a headache but she's really nice so I don't say anything and I just suffer through it. She smokes on top of it, which makes it that much worse

  42. #42

    Default Re: It has finally happened to me....

    Quote Originally Posted by elusivek View Post
    ...intentionally wearing a perfume to annoy him is more than likely not going to work in your favor.
    Oh, that was all tongue in cheek (Mrs H is my Tabu twin ). I would never..I'd feel like a jerk all day and I wouldn't even enjoy whatever fume I wore in that sort of spirit. As it happens, there is another gal who also wears heavy fume (none that I've noticed, unfortunately ) but he doesn't complain about hers. Apparently she's like the only person to whom he's consistently pleasant. Whatevs. Neither of the other two sensitive gals have problems with my perfume. We shall see if anything happens this Friday.

  43. #43

    Default Re: It has finally happened to me....

    So his "outrage" is selective. It's the usual way.

  44. #44

    Default Re: It has finally happened to me....

    Quote Originally Posted by Nymph View Post
    I know 1 person who really does have perfume sensitivities. She has approached coworkers discretely and politely, explained her issue and asked them if they wouldn't mind toning down their scent.
    She was apologetic and said there was no need to completely forgo perfume, but just minimize sillage, if possible.
    People more than happy to accommodate her as the request was not unreasonable. Most chose scented lotions or simply decreased the amount of perfume they wore, and everybody was happy.

    The jerky, self centered, head up his ass, dramaqueenish momma's boy who got in your face ought to have a dozen of those horrid plug in air deodorizers plugged in his office, seriously. He's being a territorial bully.
    This. Yes, some people have sensitivities, some fragrances may be more likely than others to trigger them and his complaint may be perfectly valid, but there are far better ways of dealing with this than the way this guy chose.

    My mother is sensitive to some of the fragrances I wear (she has allergies, they make her choke) and I solve that by simply wearing fragrances that don't bother her when I see her, and rather lightly. It works well enough that she has gifted me with fragrances that we both know do trigger her sensitivities on a couple of occasions. She does understand the love of perfume.

  45. #45

    Default Re: It has finally happened to me....

    Quote Originally Posted by Renaissance_Man View Post
    Sunnyfunny,
    I'm sorry that this happened to you. You'd be the best judge on how to react in your work environment but my approach would be to ease up on the scent for awhile and then go back to normal. By fighting back and amping it up, you run the risk that he'll get aggressive and get your employer to ban scents altogether. Unfortunately, "health risks" are taken seriously and fragrances are already threatened. Some just wait for an excuse to get them banned.
    At some workplaces, you'll be considered the guilty party and if you fight back, you'll also be disciplined. On the other hand, the "migrane" guy can file for Workers' Comp and be off work on pay (at least here in the U.S.).

    P.S. Diva! Where have you been? We've missed you!

    Hey Darlin! I've been around. School is really kicking my butt this semester. So, I haven't been on that much. I've been mostly bookin & tweetin when I get the chance. I missed you guys too. I've had no one to talk perfume with lol....


    Hang in there Sunnyfunny!
    Diva is fartin in your perfume mist before you walk through it!! Walk slow and let it marinate......

    Divatologist....Breaking perfume rules since 1969
    I smells goooooooooooood! Don't believe me? Come smell me!!

    "The Divatologist Perfume Application Method" is now available!!! Learn It, Live It, Love It Click Here! Many Compliments Await You!

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  46. #46

    Default Re: It has finally happened to me....

    Hi L! Just had a chance to read about your enounter with Mr. Grumpy... for what it's worth, I'm sure most of us at BN have encountered people like him... I know I have! He certainly didn't need to be so rude. To bad he can't enjoy one of life's great pleasures.... fragrance... especially 22! Spray on my dear... spray on!

    C
    "Live in each season as it passes; breathe the air, drink the drink, taste the fruit, and resign yourself to the influences of each!" - Henry David Thoreau

  47. #47

    Default Re: It has finally happened to me....

    Quote Originally Posted by telecaster View Post
    Hi L! Just had a chance to read about your enounter with Mr. Grumpy... for what it's worth, I'm sure most of us at BN have encountered people like him... I know I have! He certainly didn't need to be so rude. To bad he can't enjoy one of life's great pleasures.... fragrance... especially 22! Spray on my dear... spray on!

    C
    Thanks, C. I do and I will!

  48. #48

    Default Re: It has finally happened to me....

    Sooo... it seems I can safely wear Eau Premiere around him. Well, I can totally live with that. And as it turns out, the guy's not so bad, after all.

  49. #49

    Default Re: It has finally happened to me....

    Quote Originally Posted by Sunnyfunny View Post
    Sooo... it seems I can safely wear Eau Premiere around him. Well, I can totally live with that. And as it turns out, the guy's not so bad, after all.
    Yay!

  50. #50
    Lean in closer, dear
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    Default Re: It has finally happened to me....

    "Yay" echoed.

    You handled yourself beautifully, Sunny.
    In a world where 6 million people are added each month, every landscape matters.

  51. #51
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    Default Re: It has finally happened to me....

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    Last edited by deleted; 2nd January 2011 at 03:24 AM.

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