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Thread: Disable me

  1. #1
    Fleurine's Avatar
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    Default Disable me

    OK, one of the dangers of living in a big city is the accessibility to ridiculous luxuries.
    I do not need a $4000 handbag from Chanel today.
    Nor do I need a bottle of $875 (plus tax) perfume from a special niche perfumery...but yet why am I thinking of buying it? It's not the money so much as it is the sheer decadence of it. Someone please tell me something more worthwhile to do with this money?

    I saw on the news last night that buying a desk for a schoolchild in Malawi costs $48.00

    Thanks in advance.

    Dans La Nuit Vers Le Jour Sans Adieu Je Reviens Vers Toi.


  2. #2

    Default Re: Disable me

    Don't do it! Just kidding -- but really, it would be a silly way to part with your money. For that amount you could spend a few days at a luxurious retreat somewhere with someone special, take a trip, create worthwhile memories. Or buy art work (paintings, ceramics, etc.) that makes your living space more joyful, and will probably still be worth something if you need to sell it later. Perfume is a consumer product, you consume it, and pooofff! it's gone and all value is gone. Donating a part of it to a civil rights or environmental organization also sounds like a good idea.

  3. #3
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    30 Roses's Avatar
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    Default Re: Disable me

    Fleurine,

    1. If you love the perfume-- will a decant do?

    2. Could it be that you are feeling the need for a treat of some kind-- maybe you are tired and have been giving too much to others and are needing a little something for yourself. Is there some other way you can treat yourself to a pleasure that you don't normally enjoy?

    3. Do some visualization. Imagine you have bought the perfume, the money is gone-- but imagine 3 months from now. Are you still glad you got it? Six months from now-- is it still as good?

    4. Put the purchase on "delay". Odds are it will still be there a month from now. Tell yourself if you still want it in a month, you will rethink it. If the desire has ebbed in a month, let it go. If you still want it, wait one more month. Repeat if the desire is declining.

    Some time ago I read this: Make a list of a few things you really, really want. Put the list away. Forget it for 6 months-- maybe write it on a calendar so you can revisit it.. Odds are in 6 months you won't want it any more. I tried it and found it to be true.

    5. Sometimes these obsessions are a way our mind distracts us from things we do not want to think about. Try to ask yourself what that might be.

    6. Write some advice to me as though I were the one wanting to buy it (yet trying to resist.) Sometimes when I imagine the advice I would give someone else, it helps me deal with a situation more wisely.

    Is it JAR by any means? Their prices are indeed out of sight. But sitting down and having the scents presented makes you feel very special...it is a seduction of sorts. Analyze the seduction, see it for the marketing ploy it is-- whatever brand it is.
    Last edited by 30 Roses; 30th June 2011 at 06:57 PM.


  4. #4
    Fleurine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Disable me

    Thank you so much for these. You are helping me more than you know! 30roses & miguelca! I am rereading your posts over and over again and I think they may be sinking in. I have not done anything rash!..more updates to follow! Thank you again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Dans La Nuit Vers Le Jour Sans Adieu Je Reviens Vers Toi.


  5. #5
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    Default Re: Disable me

    I just want to add this: I am by no means opposed to spending money on expensive perfumes if you really love them and if your budget allows. I have a few pricey perfumes that I don't regret buying.

    But that itch-- the obsessive urge to buy-- that doesn't come from the love of the perfume. That comes from something else: some unmet, perhaps even unacknowledged need-- a need that will not be satisfied by buying the perfume.

    Then too, luxury purchases sometimes lead us to feel that their aura of specialness will expand to include us if we own them. That we will somehow be more special because we own them. In fact, we will be exactly the same person after we buy them as we were before -- just a bit poorer!

    Wait it out. You can afford to wait. Let's face it, the perfume is so costly that it will not be sold out any time soon.


  6. #6

    Default Re: Disable me

    Good words, 30 Roses! I needed to hear them, too.

    Fluerine, I understand your problem. When I lived in Podunk, USA, and the malls had little to offer, I did not want anything. As soon as I moved to San Diego and went to Fashion Valley, I was overwhelmed with wonderful, luxurious choices. Ooooo-ing and Ahhhh-ing over the pretty-pretty in the windows, etc.

    I think 30 Roses' suggestion of writing down what you want and leaving it for 6 months is sound advice. If you still want it, and have maybe saved up for the purchase, you can go ahead and get it.

    Right now, I am not even buying samples. I can't afford a full bottle purchase or even decants right now. So I am not tempting myself. Out of sight, out of mind. But I am returning to my full bottle wardrobe and enjoying it.

    Best to you!

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Disable me

    Miss New Yawk City, do not even tell me you would spend 4K on a handbag! Or 875 on 1 bottle of perfume...
    for 875 smackers you could:
    -Have a fabulous time at the New Orleans meet-up in November
    -Buy that desk for a Malawi schoolchild and have 827 or so smackers left to put in your retirement plan
    -Get a decant and wear it to front row seats of a hot show and probably still have leftover

    Listen to auntie 30 roses!

    Maximize the money I say- and studies have shown that money spent on experiences over things make people happier...
    My 2 cents

    keep us posted
    A Scent Rescuer
    Every great perfume deserves a good home

  8. #8

    Default Re: Disable me

    Quote Originally Posted by 30 Roses View Post
    Some time ago I read this: Make a list of a few things you really, really want. Put the list away. Forget it for 6 months-- maybe write it on a calendar so you can revisit it.. Odds are in 6 months you won't want it any more. I tried it and found it to be true.
    Ugh, these words are so appropriate to my own cravings at the moment. I've found myself trawling through craigslist looking for a project boat again. I haven't done that in a long long time. I actually contemplated driving up to Kansas to get one. Every now and then I get that bug. Chances are, if I write it on a list and "put it away for 6 months" I'll forget where I put it away! Perhaps I will post this on the bathroom mirror, and count down the days, instead.
    [I]"Embrace those things which give you pleasure, after all, there is so much mediocrity to endure elsewhere."[/I] -- [URL="http://community.basenotes.net/showthread.php?p=1496120#post1496120"]Inselaffe[/URL]

  9. #9
    Fleurine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Disable me

    Quote Originally Posted by knit at nite View Post
    Miss New Yawk City, do not even tell me you would spend 4K on a handbag! Or 875 on 1 bottle of perfume...(No, I did not) for 875 smackers you could:
    -Have a fabulous time at the New Orleans meet-up in November
    -Buy that desk for a Malawi schoolchild and have 827 or so smackers left to put in your retirement plan (yes)-Get a decant and wear it to front row seats of a hot show and probably still have leftover (I've been wanting to see Book of Mormon, BTW)
    Listen to auntie 30 roses!

    Maximize the money I say- and studies have shown that money spent on experiences over things make people happier...
    My 2 cents (I still haven't bought one, so thanks, BN)
    keep us posted
    Thanks

    Dans La Nuit Vers Le Jour Sans Adieu Je Reviens Vers Toi.


  10. #10

    Default Re: Disable me

    I've recently lost my job so my monthly income has been reduced. I still love fragrances and i have some of them in my "to buy" list. Some of them are cheap (typical fragrancenet way under 50$ stuff, so no problem) but some of them are expensive (not that 875 $ expensive but around 120$, and that's a lot for my economy).

    I've been thinking compulsively about a few like ambre russe, cuir ottoman, montales... and i'm trying what 30Roses has wisely said. I think and think and i come to the conclusion that there are a lot of fragrances worth testing/having out there, and there will be more and more. Am I sure i want 100ml? will I use them? i have a pretty big collection and i've realised i've worn AMen around 2 times, chergui 3... (bought it 7 months ago and love it, but don't use it because i don't want to waste it, makes sense?).

    Decants will have to do the trick for me. I'm trying to convince myself about it. I can have 20ml of Ambre Russe and get tired of it before using up them. Maybe i buy a bottle of ambre russe and i realise I want equistrius more...

    So my decision right now is to get decants of the expensive ones, for the special ocasions (buy full bottle it after a lot of mililiters used i'm still haunted by the damned frag) and buy the ones i feel that are a bargain (c'mon, i need that rive gauche i know i'll use everyday for 40$!!!)

  11. #11
    Ursula's Avatar
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    Default Re: Disable me

    You "can have your cake and eat it" if you limit yourself to small decants from The Perfumed Court. Their tiny vials are really too small to make a collection, and I only evaluate new scents this way, but if I have researched the perfume beforehand in a department store and know that I really like it, then I sometimes get a 5 ML roll-on or a 8 ML spray. This does not break the bank account.

    Many times, I have tired of the scent, and it was really not full bottle worthy anyhow. But some small roll-ons are still in my collection, and they are very handy for the handbag.

  12. #12
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    Default Re: Disable me

    Ursula, you're right - I do that too - if I really want to try something I get a few of the tiny samples
    from Perfumed Court, try them a few times, and if I really like them, then I get a 5ml or 8ml as well.
    Then! if I'm still really in love with the fragrance, I'll go for a FB. I can't afford to do it any other
    way! And I don't feel deprived at all, all those lovely samples to use and try, wonderful!

  13. #13
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    Default Re: Disable me

    Quote Originally Posted by IngaMi View Post
    Ursula, you're right - I do that too - if I really want to try something I get a few of the tiny samples
    from Perfumed Court, try them a few times, and if I really like them, then I get a 5ml or 8ml as well.
    Then! if I'm still really in love with the fragrance, I'll go for a FB. I can't afford to do it any other
    way! And I don't feel deprived at all, all those lovely samples to use and try, wonderful!
    Although it is a nice feeling to actually hold a bottle in your hand, and spray away, I have been doing this sample lane for a long time. And finally, good full bottle deals are usually at FragranceX. Check out the whole Pierre Balmain line, it is way under-appreciated, and flying under the radar. I got recently Balmain Ambre Gris from there. Latest order: Gres Ambre de Cabochard, also a fabulous deal.

    From the Perfumed Court, I have sampled also Amouage Honour Woman, and was disappointed, no need to splurge there.

    And so on, and so on, I'm still spending too much on perfume, but not to the point for Perfumaholics Anonymous Meetings intervention.

    Every time the urge to buy hits, I look at my bottles, and "take inventory" ... there are enough. Really, but sometimes an impulse buy takes place, to show like "I deserve that" and, as it has been mentioned, that is not for the beauty of the scent, but to prove something else ... like the mind plays tricks in an underhanded way.

    Most people who post here are probably in the same boat, and maybe half of the members have the funds to indulge, but myself, I don't have the means, so there has to be definite control, by me, not others, by me, not by marketing, by me ... keep singing this mantra, maybe it helps ...

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