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Thread: I Beat It!

  1. #1

    Default I Beat It!

    The addiction.

    Here's what I did, in approximately chronological order (though some things happened simultaneously):

    1. Acknowledge that I was buying to fulfill unmet needs elsewhere in my life.
    2. Take two weeks off from wearing scent.
    3. Start over with retesting my fragrances, discovering that most of them would not be wearable for me on a regular basis (having a large collection allows you to pretend to like things you don't, and you find it out really quickly when you wear one fragrance for a week or two straight).
    4. Sell my fragrances.
    5. Steer clear of Basenotes, stopping in only for PM replies and providing buyer feedback (i.e. never visiting the forums proper where I could be exposed to the onslaught of praise that gets my index finger itching to click "Buy")
    6. Test a bunch of scents I'd been meaning to try - not by blind buying but through large sample decants of 2.5-5mL.
    7. Discover that, like most of what I owned, these very lovely scents were not wearable as daily accessories.
    8. Return to a simple wardrobe of bay rum, lavender water, and a vetiver frag to scratch that itch now and then.
    9. Be happy.

    I've got the last of the wardrobe listed for sale and will be done with the whole merry-go-round of buying, selling, and swapping so very soon.

    And I still don't dare go into the Male Fragrance Discussion area...

    I know some folks don't have a problem, but if you do, trust me when I tell you that the key is non-participation here, much as it hurts.

    Best,
    T

    My Wardrobe:
    Yves St. Laurent Live Jazz
    Comme des Garcons Vettiveru
    Czech & Speake Oxford & Cambridge
    Creed Green Irish Tweed
    Comme des Garcons 2 Man

  2. #2

    Default Re: I Beat It!

    I'm glad you did so, T.

    I'll post more later when I get the chance and can clear my mind. In the meantime, thanks for that well written post ( some very good advice as well in there).

    Take is easy T.
    Seeking: Bottles/decants : of Feeling Man, Gucci pour Homme, Essence of John Galliano, Nicole Miller (vintage), Opium pour Homme, Oxford & Cambridge...etc.

    Seeking decant/sample of Jil Sander Feeling Man, Cacharel Nemo, Bijan for Men EDC, Lanvin for Men, Giorgio VIP, Il Lancetti and other old school frags ....etc. I have samples to swap.

    More HERE
    Please PM me !

  3. #3

    Default Re: I Beat It!

    Quote Originally Posted by TRBeck View Post
    .
    3. Start over with retesting my fragrances, discovering that most of them would not be wearable for me on a regular basis (having a large collection allows you to pretend to like things you don't, and you find it out really quickly when you wear one fragrance for a week or two straight).
    6. Test a bunch of scents I'd been meaning to try - not by blind buying but through large sample decants of 2.5-5mL.
    7. Discover that, like most of what I owned, these very lovely scents were not wearable as daily accessories.
    This is exactly where I'm at! What you said in number 3, is exactly how I feel it is for me. I only (only? lol) have about 60-70 bottles of perfume, but the overwhelming majority of them I feel "meh" about. I think if I really enjoyed them and needed them in my collection, I'd reach for them more often, and I don't. They need to go, period; it doesn't matter if they may be discontinued, or one day I may want to wear it, etc. I'll do what I did with other bottles I got rid of- make a sample. Guess what? I haven't reached for most of those samples in years!
    I like to keep it simple, and all these "ifs" and "oughts" are out of control.

  4. #4

    Default Re: I Beat It!

    Inspiring read! I too will try to work on this in the year to come I want the perfumes to scent my life, not to be my life.

  5. #5

    Default Re: I Beat It!

    #1 requires brutal honesty with one's self. I admire you.

  6. #6
    Dependent Wit_Siamese's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Beat It!

    You are awesome.

    I have just been on BN for about 3 months and my collection has gone 4 times bigger than what I have pre-BN.
    After joined BN, I had bought new scents every week to the point that I have already spent around 10 times my salary on fragrances --I also earn money from my family business which is more than my salary so I still have a lot of money left.

    But I have been sober from buying any fragrance for 1 month now.

    I am really satisfy with my collection, I can use them for years without buying any new scent.

    If I buy any more scent, it will not be another impulsive buy.
    Last edited by Wit_Siamese; 2nd January 2012 at 06:18 AM.
    ***My favourite from my collection***

    -------- Amouage Tribute Attar
    ------ Serge Lutens: Ambre Sultan
    -------- Les Exclusifs de Chanel: Sycamore
    ------ Amouage: Fate Man
    -------- Amouage: Epic Man
    ------ Tom Ford Private Blend: Noir de Noir
    -------- Terre D'Hermès Pure Parfum
    ------ EDP FM: Carnal Flower
    -------- Neela Vermire Creations: Trayee
    ------ Dior: Leather Oud
    ------- Hermèssence: Ambre Narguilé

  7. #7

    Default Re: I Beat It!

    T's OP is very good and well read. By the way Wit ^, best of luck.

    Large decants help. Sampling ( of smaller vials) is tough in a way because it entices you to buy something you have little experience with. Blind buying is something that needs to be limited if you are in the "Abuse Clinic" of Basenotes. I am not saying everyone should. It is fun and interesting and if you have the money, why not ? Heck, there is even a guy named BuysBlind on here and I love his contributions to the MFB. But some people ( like me) have a terrible success ratio.

    Some issues I have is that

    a) I love fragrances and find the whole thing interesting ( ie culture, sociology, history, bottles, art....etc)

    b) Climate. The climate I live in is so varied that I need a good amount of fragrances

    c) Tired of a fragrance. If I wear a fragrance too much I get tired of it and critical of it. It does not make the fragrance bad, but I need to space out wearings and go on what feels "right" at that moment in choosing what to wear

    d) Moods. I need to pick fragrance based on my mood, how I am feeling and climate/situation.


    * There may be a few smaller aspects as well, but right now I want to stop being on the internet
    Seeking: Bottles/decants : of Feeling Man, Gucci pour Homme, Essence of John Galliano, Nicole Miller (vintage), Opium pour Homme, Oxford & Cambridge...etc.

    Seeking decant/sample of Jil Sander Feeling Man, Cacharel Nemo, Bijan for Men EDC, Lanvin for Men, Giorgio VIP, Il Lancetti and other old school frags ....etc. I have samples to swap.

    More HERE
    Please PM me !

  8. #8
    Dependent Wit_Siamese's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Beat It!

    Thanks, now I am at a party, I just knew that a friend is going to have a trip in Hong Kong & Macua tomorrow.

    Now I try not to tell her I want a few Niche there. Lol

    Edited

    The Result : I did not tell her to buy a few perfumes for me.

    When the conversation went to what you should buy there, most people mentioned clothes & cosmetics.

    I said something like "You can also buy some hard to find perfumes that are not available here, but they are so expensive....."

    That prevented me not to ask her to buy me a few scents since she already knew the price and probably opposed to the idea of buying something that pricey.
    Last edited by Wit_Siamese; 7th January 2012 at 12:21 AM.
    ***My favourite from my collection***

    -------- Amouage Tribute Attar
    ------ Serge Lutens: Ambre Sultan
    -------- Les Exclusifs de Chanel: Sycamore
    ------ Amouage: Fate Man
    -------- Amouage: Epic Man
    ------ Tom Ford Private Blend: Noir de Noir
    -------- Terre D'Hermès Pure Parfum
    ------ EDP FM: Carnal Flower
    -------- Neela Vermire Creations: Trayee
    ------ Dior: Leather Oud
    ------- Hermèssence: Ambre Narguilé

  9. #9

    Default Re: I Beat It!

    What a great post. I think the majority here can relate and know deep down that they might have a "little (obsessive/compulsive) problem" when it comes to this site and fragrances. It's easy to deny it and rationalize that everything's ok, even when it may not be.

    When this starts to adversely affect your pocketbook, your financial situation and/or your overall life, it's time to do something.

  10. #10

    Default Re: I Beat It!

    Quote Originally Posted by TRBeck View Post
    1. Acknowledge that I was buying to fulfill unmet needs elsewhere in my life.
    I think this line nails it. Thank you to the OP for a wonderfully perceptive post.

    I'm new here, and don't have many scents compared to the average member - I have more than the average person, however. I also collect watches and vintage razors. . .

    Why do I need to collect? Where does this compulsion come from?

    A more subtle way this thread has helped me is to realize that I don't need to collect way-out frags. I need stuff I can wear, even if people here call it bland.

    Thank you.

  11. #11
    hednic's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Beat It!

    Quote Originally Posted by Duke of Buckingham View Post
    Why do I need to collect? Where does this compulsion come from?
    Have you found the answers to these two questions? I think the answers to these would be helpful for me.

  12. #12
    Ursula's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Beat It!

    Of course this website is an enabler. But so are full shelves with goodies in the supermarket, when you are on a diet.

    I love jewelry, when window shopping and glancing, I cannot break the window and reach in and grab a piece.

    BUT - AND HERE LIES THE DIFFERENCE - when merchandise is talked about on the internet (the items being perfumes) - and a whole lot of hooplah is made alongside with such and such scent, that it would be a once-and-for-all cure for dissatisfaction because it is close to the "Holy Grail" -

    then the eager clicking and the facility with which to use that piece of plastic: Order, and put down that credit number, and click: Submit order

    brings the item back in the mail, to be arranged with the rest of the multitude of bottles on the shelves.

    THE CONTROL BEGINS WITHIN.

    But, who am I to talk, I am just as feeble as the rest of you. I have pasted SIGNAGE near my computer: "CASH ONLY" and other methods to stop me from going overboard.

    There is the concept of building buffer zone. Like the DVD has to load up first with that grey strip of buffer zone.

    If I can continue what I have started in building "Buffer Zone" (= emergency fund, savings, investments) and that job is finished and in place, who is to stop me then from spending and enjoying ? Nobody.
    There are no answers, only choices. (Stanislav Lem)

  13. #13
    Basenotes Junkie BurgundyMarsh's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Beat It!

    Quote Originally Posted by TRBeck View Post
    The addiction.



    1. Acknowledge that I was buying to fulfill unmet needs elsewhere in my life.
    5. Steer clear of Basenotes, stopping in only for PM replies and providing buyer feedback (i.e. never visiting the forums proper where I could be exposed to the onslaught of praise that gets my index finger itching to click "Buy")
    6. Test a bunch of scents I'd been meaning to try - not by blind buying but through large sample decants of 2.5-5mL.
    7. Discover that, like most of what I owned, these very lovely scents were not wearable as daily accessories.
    9. Be happy.
    These are the points that interest me. Am I interested in fragrances as compensation? I think not, though this is perhaps self-delusion. Fragrances do make me happy though and it is hard to say why. I think I am happier with them than without. The whole of modern consumerism is based on such things, however.

    I do go through periods of heightened interest in things. Often these are intellectual subjects but other times they are physical things like kitchenwares or ceramics. These obsessions peak and subside, eventually returning to background enjoyments. I seem to be just past peak with fragrances.

    I have been seriously getting rid of stuff for the last year or so (usually I only do this when I move, at which point I am completely ruthless). I've dumped furniture, electronics, several closets full of clothes, books. There is a bit of a wrench at first but once gone, the stuff is almost immediately forgotten. I think the fragrances will be last to go though, partly because they don't take up a lot of space. Right now they fit very nicely in the space allocated.

    Basenotes is definitely a problem, it's true. Someone here praises an exotic fragrance I have never heard of and I have to track it down. Lately I realize this is a game I just can't win-- the unknown unknowns are without end, like the stars. So I am slowly reaching a point of contentment with what I have. I can afford to buy what I want for the most part, but I am also developing a stiff sales resistance to things over $80. For these I have to get a sample, the sample has to be free (at the higher end prices, not giving out free samples is inexcusable) and the sample has to be gone before I will buy more. I also, early on, developed the habit of buying the smallest practical sizes as I have never gone through anything larger than two ml. (In a lot of cases, the sample is probably going to be enough. There is a limit to the total volume of fragrance you can actually consume.) I've also found that the correlation between enjoyment and price is pretty much zero; some of my favorites were among the cheapest to buy.

    I've been more concerned lately with the amount of time I spend on Basenotes. But I haven't been a member very long and think this will eventually subside. I burn out on social websites pretty fast (in the case of Twitter and Facebook, almost instantly). The BN services are invaluable, though, so I can't imagine staying off without giving up scents altogether.

    There's the larger question of the addiction to technology, which is now endemic. I go into a fury when one of my key devices unexpectedly runs out of power. Unfortunately, there seems no way out of this particular trap...

  14. #14

    Default Re: I Beat It!

    I kinda stopped. I'm selling part of my wardrobe, and i'll only buy something if i love wearing it often. I even sold my Ambre Sultan as I noticed it was only used a couple of times in a year and last time i wore it didn't really enjoyed. I'm trying to cut down my collection to a few high quality designer and niche, those I really love wearing and would wear everyday.
    ... And do me a favor - don't disturb my friend. He's dead tired.

    Welcome to the Bwahahaha! era...

    TUM TUM PISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  15. #15

    Default Re: I Beat It!

    I know I'm very susceptible to the collector mentality. The collections of things I have continues to grow, beyond the point of me ever being able to use/appreciate what I'm buying. But I just like to have it there. People can get addicted to many things, I'm addicted to collecting. The line that I need to draw is the one where it goes from a nice hobby to actually doing harm to myself. It's very hard to admit that...and being in the midst of it, I'm not sure if I even care yet...(he says sounding like an addict)

    Anyone notice how people use the phrase "Give it a new home" or "find someone who can appreciate it more" almost like they're giving away a pet?

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