Everybody has something that they enjoy more than they should..
As long as you can do it why not?
Thread: Doubts anyone?
We all love fragrance, but does anyone ever question their obsession? People talk behind our backs, call us weirdos, complain to our supervisors. Does it ever get to anyone? Pls share your thoughts and what you do to reassure yourselves if needed.
Everybody has something that they enjoy more than they should..
As long as you can do it why not?
We seem to be living in an age where almost everyone is interested in at least one "collectible." In this case, you can actually use the bottles rather than just stare at them! And many increase in value significantly, even within a few years. You may want to point these things out to ill-informed critics.
Visit my huge swap page: http://community.basenotes.net/showthread.php?t=211135
Or visit my Sales page: http://community.basenotes.net/showthread.php?t=211407
Samples, etc. for Sale at my Crystal Flacon page: http://flacon.ambaric.net/viewtopic.php?t=282
My fragrance blog: http://bigslyfragrance.wordpress.com/
Since I made the decision to wear no more than three sprays to work, and just two to church, with almost any scent, I really doubt anyone takes issue with my habit. And if they do at this application level, I don't give a flip. I just want my wife and kids to be unscathed by it. I go a little heavier when I'm not in social settings, like maybe 4 or 5. I don't want to be an irritant, but I also want to enjoy my own scent. Cologne is one of my favorite joys in life.
I agree with everyone. I could care less what anyone thinks. In such a dirty cruel world, fragrance is one that that brightens my day.
Is the juice worth the squeeze?
I can see where the OP is coming from.
I wear cologne and I am not going to stop wearing based on someone else's opinion but I do like to keep it to myself.
As I am sure my cologne has at times offended / bothered people around me, there have been times when I have been offended by people's reactions towards something I may be wearing.
I don't like to show my knowledge, as limited as this is compared to some here, to the average Joe so to speak.
And I certainly do not tell people of the amount of money I spend or the size of my collection.
If someone does not like what I am wearing and says so then I am fine, but I don't appreciate people waving their arms about or holding their noses especially when its an adult.
Having said that, I tend to spray lightly so most of the time I think I go un-noticed.
But what I dislike the most is when people really like what I am wearing and start to draw attention to me, its not the reason I wear.
What Chuck said.
Founder- Cosa Nosetra
Yeah I can relate. I think if I didn't know any better, I could see how it might be strange to some for a guy(or woman for that matter)to have a bunch of bottles of fragrance. I'm sure most people just would "get it". I know my mom talks about it to my face about how much she hates it and puts me down because of it. Granted she has super bad asthma, so I don't wear anything but deodorant around her and still I get the coughing and hand waving with "OH JEEZ Brian, quit wearing so much cologne!!!" And yes, I'm sure people are talking about it behind my back....but I don't really care all that much. I just get self-conscience when someone near we starts to cough or clear their throat....my 1st thought is "oh crap, I wonder if that's because of me...did I wear too much":/ And I'm the same as Chuck, 3 sprays for work max and 2 for church.
I do not choose to share my hobby with others because I find most people aren't interested. That way I avoid negativity and judgment. Thank goodness there's the Basenotes community that appreciates fragrance beyond mass market scents.
Do any of you doubt why you're doing it though? I think basenotes is the only place I don't feel like an outcast because I'm so into fragrance
It has never bothered me what other people might think.
Remember that while it is perfectly acceptable to criticize the content of a post - criticizing the poster is not.
Mean spirited, nasty, snide, sarcastic, hateful, and rude individuals on Basenotes don't warrant or deserve other individuals' acknowledgement or respect.
I hold a fairly libertarian view of this; as long as my hobby does not interfere with others' rights, it is fine. I believe in spraying lightly in situations where others do not have the choice to not be in the situation (i.e. work). I also only try new fragrances when I am home alone, which is a few days a week.
Plus, internet forums ARE community in the post-modern world. We fit in here, so we fit in.
I have no doubts about why I love scent. I do get annoyed if I get criticized for it. (See my recent thread on my sister's opinion.) annoyed- well, good and mad actually. It's no one's business and it's not hurting anyone.
The older I get the less I care what people think. I like being curmudgeonly!!
Hard work never killed anyone, but why risk it?
I'm ok with being called a weirdo, but I doubt anyone's talking very much behind my back and as far as I know nobody's ever complained. I generally don't talk about my interest in perfume unless asked about it, or unless the subject comes up and I might express an opinion. So I don't feel like I need reassurance.
It certainly is nice to have people here to talk with about perfumes, as there aren't many interested people in my "real life."
Wearing fragrance is a portal into a personal world filled with memories, emotions and feelings. No different from seeing a great work of art , and probably more relevant to make us revisit over and over again.
Chic is all about humor. Which means chic is about intelligence. And there has to be oddness-- most luxury is conformist, and chic cannot be. Chic must be polite and not incommode others, but within that it can be as weird as it wants.” - LT
Don't worry about what people think about my hobby. More concerned about being able to afford this stuff!
I remember several years ago I went over to a friend of mine's apartment and saw the number of shoes she had in her closet - not to worry, I said, I have a cologne collection about the same size.
I had an employee of mine help me move once and he kept saying to himself, "holy cow! Why so many?" Well... here's an answer that some may be able to relate to: memories. I have a very good memory and there are two things that I "use" to recollect - music and scent. The amount of minutia I can recall from both is pretty scary, but in general it tends to be "mood". In fact, I recall posting here about 10 years ago where I bought a scent I wore in college, Lagerfeld Photo, and instantly recalled all these memories and details when I sprayed it.
Who cares what others think!
I don't really care much.
Bark, you been here a while, 2003? Awesome man!
There is a sufficiency in the world for man's need but not for man's greed. ~Mohandas K. Gandhi
If its something I enjoy, and doesn't take away from my family or hurt anyone, I could care less what anyone else thinks about my hobbies.
Current Top 10:
Creed Green Irish Tweed
Creed Silver Mountain Water
Creed Royal Oud
Amouage Jubilation XXV
Tom Ford Tuscan Leather
Tom Ford Amber Absolute
Tom Ford Italian Cypress
Serge Lutens Ambre Sultan
Bleu de Chanel
YSL Rive Gauche Pour Homme
I'm well balanced in this venture, so I can't say complains follow me, as I can say without no air of arrogance that I have great opulent taste and garnish compliments as I'm always well dressed and keep a balance on everything...The problem arises when an imbalance occurs and this Sir you can applied it to many situations in life...
"Thank GOD for the nose, for without it we would not be enjoying these beautiful created Scents" also Remember "Balance is everything and the key to appreciating "
If those people you worry about can only afford to buy Gillette aftershave and Brut/Old Spice underarm deodorant, or feel that is all their bodies warrant (i.e. cheapskates/ puritans etc) - that's their problem.
I spend my money where I like.
I really don't care what others think about my hobby. Imaginary discussion with a critic friend of mine: "Oh, but you spend so much on fragrances!" My response, "Yes, and you just spent $25,000 on a fishing boat. At least I don't smell like a walleye."
There are so many questionable money pits around. Painful shoes, guns, excess cars ( 5+ per person?) drugs, record albums, comic books, stereo equipment, high-end everything-stoves, watches, etc. I once saw someone on tv who had spent $1000's on fancy hair bows for her tiny daughter. At the rate she was going there would be nothing for school or insurance for the child. Another who had blown through her rich husband's fortune partly by furnishing their home with fresh floral bouquets in every room EVERY DAY! It takes all kinds. We all have a soft spot or interest. As long as it isn't illegal or fattening, I can't see the harm.
I care about what others think in terms of trying not to make them uncomfortable by having my scents impose on them too much, but other than that I'm not too worried. Maybe if I were younger I'd be more worried, but I think I'm (mostly) beyond that now.
On the other hand, I don't really go out of my way to discuss and share this hobby, or some of my other interests, with people because I don't want to bore them.
I can't even explain BN to people. They just don't get it. I try not to get into it but sometimes it comes up. I often get complimented on my fragrance. That opens up a can of worms because the scents I wear are not available in the local venues.
Edit- I would like to explain why my stuff is better than the dept store fare. Their eyes glaze over when they hear about shopping on the Internet or ordering from France. It's like trying to tell someone the difference between a real oil painting and a print.
Last edited by kumquat; 7th January 2014 at 08:57 PM.
The only people who are aware of this unusual hobby of mine are my parents and my wife and kids. Honestly, my parents think it's obsessive and wasteful, but when I remind my Mom of her QVC addiction and my Dad of his hunting gear expenses...yeah. But they never really say anything unless I bring it up. If we can afford it, we've all got something. I'm 46, so I think I can handle it. My wife and kids are totally supportive, and even encouraging (kids are 13 and 17). There is one guy at church who knows I have a fairly large stable of scents (like 30), but he has about 15 or so himself, so we share the addiction.
What about the guys with the Lowe's and Home Depot addictions? Hunting gear? Golf? Chain smokers who reek of cigars and cigarettes? I never say boo to them about their habits.The list goes on and on. So no. I don't feel weird at all.
Anyway, I wear scent primarily for myself and the memories factor in for me too. I don't really share my hobby with anyone other than here and while I am known as "the scent guy" at work, I usually don't receive negative comments or even compliments and no one bothers to ask my advice about any of it. As far as justifying it to myself; well, if after 30 years of accumulating fragrance, just f......forget about it!
This is a great thread with a lot of terrific insight.
Yeah, John was the forerunner of Creed experts - he'd be worshipped if he were posting today! I actually met Ali once out one night in Santa Monica a few years ago as we have a lot of similar interests outside of fragrance. I know he could rub some the wrong way, but he's actually a good guy (always found it to be part of his charm, to be honest. He certainly doesn't make the world vanilla).
Eric and Bark, we are the old guard. Yep, I am "lilpeyton". Peyton is my 13 year-old son. I miss all our old friends, but I have had lots of fun making new ones. God has been so good to me in that I have been able to sustain this hobby financially and keep my zeal emotionally for a long stretch now. Very good memories here on basenotes. I don't take any of this too seriously, and I just ride out the fads and add gems as they come along. Considering my collection is just 30 bottles after being into cologne for so long, you just know my wardrobe is a revolving door in both directions! Buy 'em, wear 'em, sell 'em, swap 'em! Very few sacred cows in my relatively small collection.
Col, JockWIthScents, Joe Petrucci, ToughCool...I always enjoyed reading their posts, too. Life is fragile and complicated (and short). I guess some just have to move on.
Once somebody asked me which cologne I was wearing and I said I didn't know because I didn't have the courage to explain it was niche. Sometimes I find it stupid that I react that way but I think it's also fine to keep it my thing. Only my wife, kids and my brother knows. The last one to a certain level I guess.
Ah well. Let's see what I will be wearing tomorrow :-)
I've made this analogy several times over the last twelve years and find it still holds true: if all you've ever had to eat pizza-wise is Domino's, then you don't know any better and you don't know any worse. But when you suddenly happen upon a mom and pop shop and find yourself tempting something different, you're essentially expanding your horizons with the ability to compare and contrast.
Do it enough times and you're not only learning more about pizzas and all the various ingredients that can go into making one - you're also discovering more about yourself: what you do, and don't, like.
Pizza was the analogy I used twelve years ago because it's easy for people to relate to and it's no coincidence there's a parallel to be drawn between mass-produced fair, gourmet, and the advent of frozen - styles that kind of call forth drugstore, designer and niche. Lately, however, I've been using the analogy of craft beer which is probably even more apropos. I've probably had over 1,500 different beers and, just like fragrances, I have my tendencies (love Imperial Stouts) and would be hard-pressed to pick a favorite because it really depends on so many other factors at the moment.
Regardless of whether it's pizza, beer or fragrance, the commonality with all of them is the notion of trying something new and different - as Chuck mentioned earlier, life is short, fragile and often unpredictable; part of living is experiencing and that's what all off these seem to have in common.
The problem comes from two things. #1: some people don't know how to recognize olfactory fatigue when they experience it, so they wear more and more, which means they wear too much. #2: perfume should not be used like a bullhorn as a desperate plea for attention. If you're wearing a lot so people will notice you, their comments and complaints are a sign that they sure do notice and they wish you'd be more responsible.
"Follow your nose. It always knows." -- Toucan Sam
One important thing I've learned is that it's foolish to talk about my passions with someone who isn't interested. My friend who does needlepoint, for example. We don't talk about photography because she's not into it, and we don't talk about sewing because I'm not interested in that either. We were at a bar once with a group of friends and I saw her flirting with a guy friend of mine. She started talking about sewing. I glanced over at him and thought "Yup. She's losing him." But she's also into rock climbing and cycling! THAT'S the stuff she should have been talking to him about!
I learned a long time ago to test the water a bit before diving into conversations about my hobbies.
That being said... I want to go back to this comment for a moment:
I'm not saying you're desperate for attention. You brought up the question of why we wear perfume, and that's a good question to ask. I think there's value in understanding the difference between wanting to smell good and wanting everyone to notice how good you smell. Do it for you. That's healthy. But doing it for everyone else to notice...? That's not so healthy, in my opinion.
"Follow your nose. It always knows." -- Toucan Sam
I guess I missed that bit about supervisor complaints. That does imply that you may be wearing stuff that's too strong at work. Sadly, some people may not share your enthusiasm. Try to tone it down. Only wear enough so you can smell it yourself with very little throw.
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Original gentlemen of BN: I loved your comments about the old days of BN. I sometimes search for old threads to get a feel for what it was like back then. Thanks!