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  1. #31

    Default Re: serious question: convincing your loved ones you are not crazy

    I don't talk about it with anybody who doesn't know (like all of you lovelies, my fragrance siblings), but if someone is on intimate enough terms with me to feel free to look in my bathroom closet, then they have already figured out I'm a little crazy long before they get to the fragrances. Actually, this might be more common than we think. I'm sure there are plenty more of us out there *in the closet*.

  2. #32
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    Default Re: serious question: convincing your loved ones you are not crazy

    Quote Originally Posted by noirdrakkar View Post
    how do you effectively convince your friends and loved ones that fragrance collecting is a legitimate hobby and not a mental sickness?
    show me one person in this world who at some angle doesnt look mentaly sick ---very rare ......whoever you know better he/she is at some area "abnormal"

    for me mental sickness is to drive Porche or that Mini morris...when for the same money i can buy a flat here in Croatia, so its all relative...

    sampling is huge fun since most of all i am curious beeing!.....need just to try it once-3 times and am satisfied and like talking about perfumes more then hoarrding them ...but before i get here did not know one can sample stuff hehe

  3. #33
    Basenotes Junkie Curly11's Avatar
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    Default Re: serious question: convincing your loved ones you are not crazy

    Quote Originally Posted by furrypine View Post
    You can try comparing it to music; nobody expect you to have only 3 CDs. No, you need more, you need choices; ballads, symphonies, blues and electropop, dubstep, and that is just for daytime, in the winter
    Perfect analogy, furrypine. Well said.

  4. #34

    Default Re: serious question: convincing your loved ones you are not crazy

    I know plenty of people who have ridiculous collections of perfume and don't consider themselves perfume fanciers: It's a cultural thing. There is absolutely nothing wrong with collecting perfume: I don't so much "collect" it as i do "hoard" it: I simply *can't* have enough. I often say to people when they see my passport and look at me quizically or pose a question regarding my name: "Some people have a lot of shoes. I have a lot of names." What about shoe fanciers. Are they crazy? Because we all know so many of those: Nobody tends to suggest they're crazy. In essence: there's nothing crazy or unhealthy about perfume fancying. It's an unusual hobby. That's all.
    "...a Chacun son Mauvais Gout."

  5. #35

    Default Re: serious question: convincing your loved ones you are not crazy

    Some of my loved ones think I'm crazy anyway so no matter. Seriously though, while it is unusual in many respects, collecting fragrances is actually quite a sensible and practical hobby compared to some. I know many people who collect wine, I don't think them mad. Wine is best enjoyed when you crack a bottle, but when you do soon it is gone. A bottle of perfume I can enjoy for years so who really is crazy.

  6. #36

    Default Re: serious question: convincing your loved ones you are not crazy

    I think I actually married the one person who truly understood. When we started dating his first present to me was discontinued/ limited edition/hard to find fragrance he won for me on Ebay. He knew he got me at that point . But I think that loved ones should understand this pretty harmless hobby. There are much worse ways to spend money; and as it was mentioned earlier, some fragrances do go up in value sometimes providing with better return on investment than silver and gold. And as Ozjon701 pointed out, once you open a bottle of wine it's gone in a very short amount of time. People who collect shoes cannot resell them once they worn. I am a believer that fragrance collecting is much more sensible hobby than many others out there.

  7. #37
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    Default Re: serious question: convincing your loved ones you are not crazy

    If collecting perfumes is hobby, is collecting shoes hobby too? :-)

    I read it somewhere, perfumes are little luxury goods, and we have sense of smell that many people just don't use enough maybe, i use my ears to listen to good music , use my eyes to watch beautiful paintings, and use my ears to listen to good music:-) , so perfume lovers use thier noses
    I do understand where this question comes from:-) , there must be some explanation why scents make this to us:-) , nice smell attracts so much that its probably similar to nicotine addiction or alcohol addiction:-) would be nice if there are more scientific explanations of this , or maybe there are?

    I know i was buying a lot of stuff from cosmetics just because it smelled nicely , or had nice colours(makeup), that i did not need at all!!and did not use later:-)

    Its like with every possible thing in the world you can do it moderately or extremely:-)

    Doing sport extremely , or doing no sport at all, eating properly or eating too much,'i suppose perfumes should then be looked through how much money you spend :-) , is it too much for you or not:-)

  8. #38

    Default Re: serious question: convincing your loved ones you are not crazy

    My wife might think I'm crazy but she's ok with all my purchases. She's the only one that knows I have so many frags and the only one that needs to know.

  9. #39

    Default Re: serious question: convincing your loved ones you are not crazy

    You could just say they are your best type of financial investments. Non perfume mankind may relate to that.
    Currently wearing: Beautiful by Estée Lauder

  10. #40

    Default Re: serious question: convincing your loved ones you are not crazy

    It's my money; I'll be crazy if I want to.

    But, sure, you could point out that smell is one of the five senses and that humans are constantly pursuing ways to make themselves happy through those senses.

    Do they say that foodies and food critics and chefs are crazy? They're focusing much of their life on the sense of taste _and smell_, by the way. An interest in food beyond basic calories and nutrition isn't a need, it's the pursuit of art, and a great deal of it is about smell.

    Do they say that musicians and music critics and concert goers and everybody who's ever spent hours ripping their CDs and getting just the right playlist on their iPods are crazy? They're focusing on the sense of hearing and also on the fascinating things that music does to the brain and mood and memories and ideas...just like scent does.

    Do they say that artists and art critics and patrons of museums and every design professional is crazy? They're focusing on the sense of sight - and, again, on all that brain and memory and association and emotion stuff. Fashion designers? Historical costume? Architecture? For that matter, posters and postage stamps?

    A huge percentage of human endeavor is about art, about appealing to the senses and, through the senses, the brain. Why is it only permissible to appeal to the nose through food? Because food is practical? None of the other arts are practical; the fact that food is also nutrition is, again, essentially coincidence.

    Perfume is art. It's the art that you have chosen to consume. When they give up music and movies and TV and museums and posters and photographs and pictures on the wall and they're getting all their calories from a flavorless nutrient paste, that's when they can come back and ask you to justify the existence of art.

    Edited to add: I also wonder who's been giving you these ideas that it's "as weird as men collecting womens' dirty underwear, to most people". Because I've never, _ever_ seen that vibe. The men in my life who don't wear cologne don't like it, and some of them may consider it vaguely "feminine", but they certainly don't have a highly negative view of it like that. They know that other men wear it, and they shrug. They just don't care.

    Is it possible that the people in your life are just being controlling and trying to take this hobby away from you just because they want to, or because they don't understand it, or some relatively trivial reason that they've latched on to and are unable to let go of? Someone who wants to control you is not open to logic or arguments; they want to control you. There may be no argument that will change their minds, because they may _want_ this issue. If you didn't collect fragrance, there might be some other issue that they'd latch on to.

    By caring so much what they think, you're giving them power. I think that you need to take away that power, and their enjoyment of that power, by not caring any more.

    Sample response: "You still drinking Coke and beer and eating burgers? With all that flaaaaaavor? That's just so weird; I think you're mentally ill. Come talk to me when you're down to bread and water."
    Last edited by ChickenFreak; 10th November 2012 at 11:09 PM.

  11. #41

    Default Re: serious question: convincing your loved ones you are not crazy

    Ah-ha ha! That's Rich!
    "...a Chacun son Mauvais Gout."

  12. #42
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    Default Re: serious question: convincing your loved ones you are not crazy

    Quote Originally Posted by taint it sweet View Post
    I will say that the fact that I routinely go sniff numerous bottles in my collection at random times is starting to concern me a little..
    I often do a routine "sniff" of various scents just before I go to bed . My hubby doesn't take any notice. What others think about my passion for perfume doesn't worry me in the slightest. I do it for me and my nose only.

  13. #43

    Default Re: serious question: convincing your loved ones you are not crazy

    In my case, it's a "mixed approach", at least lately/as of today and, at the same time, my favorite and long-term method to deal with it. That is, no universal solution indiscriminately towards all of my loved ones.
    Instead: with some of them, I keep completely silent, with some I talk about fragrance and even help them purchase when they are out shopping/logging online strictly for fragrance purchases- but ONLY if the topic comes up, with others of them, I try to subtly make them like, even if not passionately enjoy fragrance, by fragrance presents for special or even regular occasions, others of them still, at least secretly hoping this, may have joined BN meanwhile etc.

    In a nutshell, I try to adapt my approach, depending the particular loved on involved.

  14. #44

    Default Re: serious question: convincing your loved ones you are not crazy

    Quote Originally Posted by donna255 View Post
    I was told by a professional it was a personality disorder, sort of a form of OCD.

    So first rule of fragrance collecting, is don't talk about your fragrance collection.
    Yeah -- bottle it up.

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by donna255 View Post
    I was told by a professional it was a personality disorder, sort of a form of OCD.

    So first rule of fragrance collecting, is don't talk about your fragrance collection.
    Yeah -- bottle it up.

  15. #45
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    Default Re: serious question: convincing your loved ones you are not crazy

    I haven't convinced myself that this isn't a sickness.

  16. #46
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    Default Re: serious question: convincing your loved ones you are not crazy

    Most people have hobbies or collect things, why not fragrances, so maybe they can relate. If woman can collect fragrances why can't males as well

  17. #47

    Default Re: serious question: convincing your loved ones you are not crazy

    I don't collect fragrances, I need them to express myself and enrich my world, as I need different musical genres- totally agree with Furrypine and others- and a huge variety of spices in my kitchen cupboard!
    "Your fragrance with a fume of iodine" L. Cohen

  18. #48
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    Default Re: serious question: convincing your loved ones you are not crazy

    Quote Originally Posted by L'Homme Blanc Individuel View Post
    You're tossing around terms like "crazy" and "mental sickness," referring to mental illness, which is a very real thing that should not to be taken lightly. If mental illness is indeed part of the equation here, please lose the disrespect for psychologists (obvious red flag there) and consider their advice. Even if you disagree completely. Perhaps especially if you disagree completely.

    This hobby isn't particularly common. But if collecting fragrances is leading people you know to refer to you as having "mental sickness" clearly, there is something else going on. I hope you seriously give this the attention it deserves and I wish you the best of luck.
    I was exaggerating for comedy sake, I'm not actually diagnosed as mentally ill.

    Still though, the hobby is viewed by many as abnormal.

    Even sexual fetishes get more respect than fragrance collecting.

  19. #49
    Basenotes Member hlatif33's Avatar
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    Default Re: serious question: convincing your loved ones you are not crazy

    One of my friends in med school also hinted at me that my fragrance obsession is some kind of disorder. What a jerk.
    Favorite notes at this point: Sandal wood, Oud, Frankincense, Rose

  20. #50

    Default Re: serious question: convincing your loved ones you are not crazy

    Quote Originally Posted by hlatif33 View Post
    One of my friends in med school also hinted at me that my fragrance obsession is some kind of disorder. What a jerk.
    Don't worry, there is a remedy. Apply some aromatic substances to the wrists and about the neck area once or twice daily. Reapply after a shower. This will effect an immediate cure for your ailment.
    Currently wearing: Beautiful by Estée Lauder

  21. #51
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    Default Re: serious question: convincing your loved ones you are not crazy

    Ode to a 'Fume

    Well I just smelt you
    And this is crazy,
    But here's my collection,
    You'll join it maybe.

  22. #52
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    Default Re: serious question: convincing your loved ones you are not crazy

    Quote Originally Posted by hlatif33 View Post
    One of my friends in med school also hinted at me that my fragrance obsession is some kind of disorder. What a jerk.
    nothing more pretentious than an academic trying to diagnose people in such a casual manner

  23. #53

    Default Re: serious question: convincing your loved ones you are not crazy

    Quote Originally Posted by noirdrakkar View Post
    Even sexual fetishes get more respect than fragrance collecting.
    It appears to me that you have friends or family that have serious, _serious_ issues, perhaps to the point of a phobia, about fragrance. Because the above is certainly not true of anyone I've ever known.

    Alternatively, you may have friends or family that for some reason are invested in tearing down your self-esteem, and who might therefore demonstrate this attitude about any hobby that you have.

  24. #54

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    Default Re: serious question: convincing your loved ones you are not crazy

    Quote Originally Posted by hlatif33 View Post
    One of my friends in med school also hinted at me that my fragrance obsession is some kind of disorder. What a jerk.
    Just to play devil's advocate for a second, you do use the word "obsession." If you take that literally, then a friend might have reason to express concern.

    Quote Originally Posted by ChickenFreak View Post
    It appears to me that you have friends or family that have serious, _serious_ issues, perhaps to the point of a phobia, about fragrance. Because the above is certainly not true of anyone I've ever known.
    To be honest, I wonder if it has more to do with gender perceptions and homophobia, not a phobia about fragrance itself. From what I've seen, a lot of American and English men see wearing fragrance--even if it's "men's" fragrance--as "girly." I've seen guys in both countries take lots of crap from other guys for being too groomed or for wearing fragrance. So I'd imagine that those same guys would take even more hassle if people know they're "into" fragrance. We've certainly read enough posts from men on threads like this talking about how they have to hide their collections from friends. My guess is that the reactions would be very different if we were talking about collections of motorbikes or records.

  25. #55
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    Default Re: serious question: convincing your loved ones you are not crazy

    Quote Originally Posted by docluv45 View Post
    Ode to a 'Fume

    Well I just smelt you
    And this is crazy,
    But here's my collection,
    You'll join it maybe.
    Very clever! I like it.

  26. #56
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    Default Re: serious question: convincing your loved ones you are not crazy

    On a lighter note, I just tell them about the guy that goes around photographing all the different transmission towers in the UK.

  27. #57

    Default Re: serious question: convincing your loved ones you are not crazy

    Luckily my wife has a severe anxiety disorder so she knows that we both have our issues. I can become very obsessive about things I enjoy and she deals with it (some days better than others) and I understand that sometimes she literally cannot control her anxiety and I have learned to deal with that. Otherwise I just explain to them that it is something that I really enjoy. Most of my family and friends know that I am prone to obsessive behavior, so they don't say much about it.

  28. #58

    Default Re: serious question: convincing your loved ones you are not crazy

    i don't even try...

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