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  1. #1
    Dependent OctaVariuM's Avatar
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    Default Can you get used to smelling "feminine?"

    So, ever since I've entered the fragrance community, I've found myself trying to avoid floral scents as they are associated with the females in my life and not what I consider to be something men should wear. However, there have been a few fragrances that come along time and again that I find to be absolutely stunning, but I have a hard time wearing them and shaking that feminine feeling.

    I'd love to know if anyone has experienced this and gotten past it so they could enjoy the scents and not care how they come off? I'm in college, and I can't say that I want women (or my male friends) thinking I smell like a girl in a negative way.

    I wish I was one of those people who can just comment and say "I don't care what others think, I wear what I like to wear, regardless of others gender associations."

    Just thought I'd ask. I've been wearing Noir de Noir for the first time, and I'm intoxicated. It's the sexiest fragrance I've ever had the pleasure to smell, but it's definitely got that floral feminine thing I was saying I have a hard time with. I'm fine wearing it at home on a lazy day, but I'm not so sure about a date or a lecture or something.

  2. #2
    hednic's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can you get used to smelling "feminine?"

    Quote Originally Posted by OctaVariuM View Post
    I'd love to know if anyone has experienced this and gotten past it so they could enjoy the scents and not care how they come off? I'm in college, and I can't say that I want women (or my male friends) thinking I smell like a girl in a negative way.
    For me, I personally choose not to wear anything geared to females. I leave that to my wife.
    Last edited by hednic; 17th November 2012 at 10:01 PM.

  3. #3
    Basenotes Junkie Mrnybluesman's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can you get used to smelling "feminine?"

    Sometimes it is not about what other people may or may not think but what you actually like. I can only speak for myself. I tend to stay away from feminine smelling scents because I do not like them on me. I actually thought Noir de Noir was one of the most beautiful scents but it was too feminine on me. The old adage wear what you like will always ring true to me...however wear what you like because you like it not because of what other people may or may not think. Perhaps it is my age...the way I grew up...I am open to trying different things but they have to suit me. For instance...Heeleys Cuir Pleine Fleur is a bit of a floral...but I really enjoyed that and if I can ever find a split I would wear that. I have some scents that are in my wardrobe that are classified as unisex..but to me they lean to the masculine side..like Dior's Leather Oud. There is a distinct difference in our ages..and I also believe there are many things that go into answering your question from my perspective. In order not to go on and seem long winded because this interests me I will just conclude with... If you like it wear it...
    "It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it."

    "I've been everywhere but the electric chair seen everything but the wind."..

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    Default Re: Can you get used to smelling "feminine?"

    I have really tried but cannot feel comfortable wearing female oriented fragrances. The closest that I can go is Dior Homme and Dior Homme intense. I guess Midnight In Paris, edp, may also fit the category. But I have tried Midnight Poison, Duetto's City Love, several Chanels from the Esclusives line, etc. I simply do not enjoy wearing a female scent. It is not that I worry about what others have to say, I do not like the. I'm certain this has a lot to do with having grown up wearing 80's powerhouse fragrances. I envy the man who can enjoy a good woman's perfume. In my opinion, women's perfumes are so well better made than those produced for me.

  5. #5
    Dependent tonghpafu's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can you get used to smelling "feminine?"

    I only have Burberry's Brit for Women as a feminine marketed scent, yet I wear that to lecture and lab all the time (college). I also wear NdN and MiP and other scents slightly on the feminine side all the time. If you like it on you, wear it! It took me a bit of time to overcome that social fear, but it's really feels liberating once you get ever it. But that's just my 2 cents. If you don't like feminine scents on you, then it's ok too!

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    Dependent southerngardens's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can you get used to smelling "feminine?"

    I personally love wearing some unisex or feminine fragrances. Fragrances have no gender is what you should remember and remember to wear what you like! I had a bit of a struggle with wearing them out of the house at first, but I just finally grew a big enough pair and sprayed myself down with Mitsouko and went about my day. Not one person said " are you wearing ladies perfume"? I was a bit offended that no body complimented me on how nice I smelled!
    I now wear all sorts of so called feminine frags, unsiex frags and masculine frags and love them all because I am myself!
    I'm not OLD...I'm VINTAGE!
    Currently wearing: No. 5 by Chanel

  7. #7
    Dependent L'Incandescent's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can you get used to smelling "feminine?"

    Probably about 2/3 of the fragrances I wear are feminines or unisex scents that lean feminine. You just need to wear them and you'll get used to it. And really, Noir de Noir isn't all that feminine.

    A couple of weeks ago, a male colleague asked me what cologne I was wearing. I told him it was Chanel No. 22. He said "I like that one, it smells very gentlemanly." The point is that fragrances are not as obviously feminine or masculine as things like clothes.
    Current Top Five:
    1. Bois des Iles--Chanel
    2. George Sand--Maitre Parfumeur et Gantier
    3. L'Ame Soeur--Divine
    4. Violet Blonde--Tom Ford
    5. Santal Blush--Tom Ford

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    Dependent OctaVariuM's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can you get used to smelling "feminine?"

    Thanks for the replies. I actually ended up going out to Staples wearing NdN an hour or so ago, and I didn't feel all that out of place. I'll see if I can bring myself to wear it fully on a day where I will be out and about, and if it goes over okay, I think I'll slowly be more willing to delve into that area of fragrances. So far though, I'd definitely consider a decant of NdN considering its beauty alone.

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    Dependent L'Incandescent's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can you get used to smelling "feminine?"

    Let me add this: I've been wearing feminines for many years, and not once has someone said anything about it. In fact, I've often gotten compliments on those scents (without any mention of gender).
    Current Top Five:
    1. Bois des Iles--Chanel
    2. George Sand--Maitre Parfumeur et Gantier
    3. L'Ame Soeur--Divine
    4. Violet Blonde--Tom Ford
    5. Santal Blush--Tom Ford

  10. #10

    Default Re: Can you get used to smelling "feminine?"

    I wear whatever smells good to my nose regardless if it is "masculine" or "feminine"

  11. #11
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    Default Re: Can you get used to smelling "feminine?"

    I suppose, but if it makes me even the slightest bit uncomfortable I don't force it. There are simply too many fantastic scents out there that hit all the buttons and smell the way I want to smell. If it's too sweet, too floral, too aldehydic, etc., it's a pass. I see no reason to compromise.
    Simplex Sigillum Veri

  12. #12
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    Default Re: Can you get used to smelling "feminine?"

    I find I can't wear some fragrances, because when I smell them I picture a woman wearing it so it's a no go for me. Fragrances are gender based. They're labeled as such so the "there's no gender in fragrances is BS as it's right there in front of your face." Whether you follow those guidelines is another story. Some notes in women's fragrances work for men and others don't. If you don't feel comfortable then don't wear it.

  13. #13
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    Default Re: Can you get used to smelling "feminine?"

    I think it's wrong to classify 'florals' as feminine fragrances. If they are floral and sweet, yes probably. But take e.g. Fleurs d'Oranger (orange blossoms) by Serge Lutens which is floral + dry + bitter and is a fragrance that can absolutely be worn by males. Similar for Tubereuse Criminelle.
    * Serge Lutens rules *
    Fille en Aiguilles & Gris Clair & Fleurs d'Oranger & Tubereuse Criminelle & Sarrasins & Fumerie Turque & A la Nuit & Santal Majuscule & Sa Majeste la Rose & Five O'Clock Au Gingembre

  14. #14

    Default Re: Can you get used to smelling "feminine?"

    Quote Originally Posted by silentrich View Post
    I find I can't wear some fragrances, because when I smell them I picture a woman wearing it so it's a no go for me. Fragrances are gender based. They're labeled as such so the "there's no gender in fragrances is BS as it's right there in front of your face." Whether you follow those guidelines is another story. Some notes in women's fragrances work for men and others don't. If you don't feel comfortable then don't wear it.
    The only BS here is Marketing BS. Fragrance has no gender. If a man wears a fragrance (any fragrance) then, by association it will smell masculine on him. If a woman wears a fragrance (any fragrance) it will, by association, smell feminine on her.

    Also there is fashion in fragrance, and what, to one generation, will smell Feminine will, to another, generation smell Masculine. Jicky and Eau Sauvage are tow examples of this.

    Before the 20th century there was only unisex fragrance. Marketing realised that you could double your sales by inventing this artificial division.

    Wear what you enjoy. Fragrance is genderless.

  15. #15

    Default Re: Can you get used to smelling "feminine?"

    Quote Originally Posted by southerngardens View Post
    I personally love wearing some unisex or feminine fragrances. Fragrances have no gender is what you should remember and remember to wear what you like!
    BIG +1 on this and I will add one of my fave quotes on the subject. "Fragrance has no genitalia"

    I work at a major dept store selling frags, I'm just at the men's counter now but used to work women's as well. When something new would arrive in women's and I didn't find it too offensive I would wear it mainly to see how it lives on the skin and how long it lasts. There were many times where I would put on a women's frag and go to a friend and ask them if they liked what I was wearing, I don't think any of them ever guessed it was a women's frag. For example, one of my faves from Estee Lauder is Bronze Goddess and it's definitely made for women but I love that it reminds me of Coppertone tanning oils from back in my youth. Everyone liked it on me and no one thought it was feminine at all.
    Wear what makes you feel good and don't worry about being "caught" wearing something not marketed to you.
    I totally understand where you're coming from though and I'm sure you'll come around to wearing what you like and not worry what others think. Who knows, maybe you'll get respect for being a renegade
    -Cologne is the only fashionable thing that fits me! (Me, circa 1997-present)
    http://www.youtube.com/860cologne

  16. #16
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    Default Re: Can you get used to smelling "feminine?"

    After smelling 30 or 40 masculine fragrances they start to get boring. I think many "masculine" scents have a really narrow set of qualities and they don't really venture out of that. So when I started wearing unisex and feminine fragrances the world of scent opened up for me again.

    I still have favorite "masculine" scents but for me personally, I knew there were many women's frags that were getting really great reviews that I just had to try, even if I don't go around wearing them every day. And some of my favorite scents like Fille en Aiguilles and Feminite du Bois are pretty much gender neutral in my opinion. But I admit, if I had tried FdB in earlier in my 'journey', I might have thought it was too feminine.

  17. #17

    Default Re: Can you get used to smelling "feminine?"

    Can't do it. Not because I have anything against female fragrances, but because I have yet to find any that are my taste.

  18. #18

    Default Re: Can you get used to smelling "feminine?"

    Many years ago the line was clearly defined in what was masculine and what is feminine. These days though many scents can swing either way depending on your perception and where you draw the line.

  19. #19

    Default Re: Can you get used to smelling "feminine?"

    Yes. When I started out not too long ago I found a lot of men's/unisex fragrances rather feminine, Bvlgari Black, Insense, Le 3me Homme, Arpege pour Homme, Obession Night, etc, didn't take too long to get used to them or to get used to wearing quite a few feminine fragrances (some more unisex than modern men's fragrances, imo). Just wear and enjoy them.

  20. #20
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    Default Re: Can you get used to smelling "feminine?"

    No matter how much effort I have put into it, I cannot feel comfortable wearing a female fragrance. Even most so called, unisex, fragrances come off as too feminine for me. I am not happy about this as I am losing out on a great, many fragrances.

  21. #21

    Default Re: Can you get used to smelling "feminine?"

    That is your problem "senore". I believe that the sense of smell is a source of great pleasure, and one that is not used by the majority of people. Basenoters have shown, by there very presence here, that they enjoy smelling stuff. The only reason not to wear a fragrance is because you don't like it. To enjoy a fragrance but not wear it because you think it too "feminine" is really cutting your nose to spite your face. To admit to "losing out on a great many fragrances" is to admit to deliberately not allowing yourself pleasure. How foolish.

  22. #22

    Default Re: Can you get used to smelling "feminine?"

    Quote Originally Posted by David Ruskin View Post
    That is your problem "senore". I believe that the sense of smell is a source of great pleasure, and one that is not used by the majority of people. Basenoters have shown, by there very presence here, that they enjoy smelling stuff. The only reason not to wear a fragrance is because you don't like it. To enjoy a fragrance but not wear it because you think it too "feminine" is really cutting your nose to spite your face. To admit to "losing out on a great many fragrances" is to admit to deliberately not allowing yourself pleasure. How foolish.
    I'm not sure about this. I can like and appreciate a lot of feminine fragrances on my partner, but would feel uncomfortable wearing them myself. I believe that some fragrances can be instantly classified as feminine, for me anyway, and other so called 'feminine' fragrances are more ambiguous, especially leather based ones. Perfumers are given a brief and one of them would be the 'target audience' so in that respect they are designed with genitalia in mind. Can any man admit to actually wanting to wear Amarige? well not many women would but you get my point?

  23. #23

    Default Re: Can you get used to smelling "feminine?"

    Very quick story.....

    One day I was getting dressed for work and my lady was in the bathroom as well, I just so happened to walk directly behind her as she sprayed on Angel for women.... the thing is she missed her entire neck and hit me directly on the shoulder. She said sorry babe! I responded its fine, you might as well give me one squirt on the neck cuz I don't have time to wash it off. So she gave me a spritz on the neck.

    Throughout the entire day at work and just out and about I received more than a few compliments from women saying how good I smelled. When they asked what I was wearing and I told them, they were absolutely blown away, they couldn't believe I was wearing Angel.

    I thought it was just alright on me, but the women loved it and thought it smelled amazing on me. I never wore it again just because it didn't appeal to me.

    I said all that to say, don't care what others think, if you love it and they hate it wear it, if they love it and you hate it don't wear it!!!

  24. #24
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    Default Re: Can you get used to smelling "feminine?"

    Hey, it's really OK to accept the fact you have comfort zones you'd much rather stay within. But on the oft chance others are not likely to smell this so called feminine fragrance, you might also feel like risking a single spray under your shirt or have a few dabs on your collar bone for personal enjoyment. After a few days of such sneaky adventures, when you realize nobody is going out of their way to tell you 'you smell like a woman' or spout similar nonsense, the truth will hopefully hit home - apart from us freaks in here, NOBODY gives a damn what fragrance you got on.

  25. #25
    Basenotes Junkie Nosebud's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can you get used to smelling "feminine?"

    You know, when my wife and I were both testing Creeds, we both thought Millesime Imperial were intended for our own sex. I had no idea it was marketed as a unisex fragrance. Then we went to the Hermes counter and tried Un Jardin en Mediterranee and had the same experience. We both wear both of them.
    I took it to "feminine" fragrances by wearing Black Orchid, which I didn't think was that feminine.
    All-in-all, regardless of what a fragrance is marketed as, there is definitely a subjective sliding scale of masculine to feminine (not the other way around.)

  26. #26

    Default Re: Can you get used to smelling "feminine?"

    I think you can get used to smelling what you would consider more "feminine", as your tastes expand and grow, your confidence increases and you begin to care less and less about what others may "think." I truly believe that the majority of the time, people smelling a fragrance on you will either think it smells nice or it doesn't, first and foremost. Now, sure, there are extremes that probably don't work very well on both ends, but overall, I don't think most people are too worried or conscious over whether you smell one way or the other. People just know if you smell good or not.

    Personally, I just have my own litmus test. If I sample a fragrance and just can't picture myself wearing it with confidence in most situations, whether that's because I don't like the smell, don't find it appealing, wearable enough, or too feminine on me, then I simply don't buy it - even if I do appreciate it.
    Currently wearing: Original Vetiver by Creed

  27. #27
    Dependent rubegon's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can you get used to smelling "feminine?"

    Quote Originally Posted by OctaVariuM View Post
    So, ever since I've entered the fragrance community, I've found myself trying to avoid floral scents as they are associated with the females in my life and not what I consider to be something men should wear. However, there have been a few fragrances that come along time and again that I find to be absolutely stunning, but I have a hard time wearing them and shaking that feminine feeling.

    I'd love to know if anyone has experienced this and gotten past it so they could enjoy the scents and not care how they come off? I'm in college, and I can't say that I want women (or my male friends) thinking I smell like a girl in a negative way.
    I think the question is whether you can get past the association of certain notes and structures with being "feminine" - not so much whether you can get used to or stop caring about smelling feminine. These associations are cultural - not absolute.

    As I've tried more and more perfumes, my range has broadened. Very few fragrances now seem absolutely masculine or feminine to me now. I wear many things I would have considered "feminine" in the past. So many of the real masterpieces in perfumery are feminine-marketed perfumes, so I'm happy to not miss out on them. I am straight and live in Texas, by the way. I mention this only because few gay men have this gender association hang up to begin with.

    Here's another southern guy who has recently "seen the light":

    Quote Originally Posted by southerngardens View Post
    I personally love wearing some unisex or feminine fragrances. Fragrances have no gender is what you should remember and remember to wear what you like! I had a bit of a struggle with wearing them out of the house at first, but I just finally grew a big enough pair and sprayed myself down with Mitsouko and went about my day. Not one person said " are you wearing ladies perfume"? I was a bit offended that no body complimented me on how nice I smelled!
    I now wear all sorts of so called feminine frags, unsiex frags and masculine frags and love them all because I am myself!
    Congrats, southerngardens! Keep it up!

    No all will come to see things this way. Silentrich for example ...

    Quote Originally Posted by silentrich View Post
    I find I can't wear some fragrances, because when I smell them I picture a woman wearing it so it's a no go for me. Fragrances are gender based. They're labeled as such so the "there's no gender in fragrances is BS as it's right there in front of your face." Whether you follow those guidelines is another story. Some notes in women's fragrances work for men and others don't. If you don't feel comfortable then don't wear it.
    That's ok too. To each his own - there is no wrong answer as we are all different.

    As for you, only you can say. It sounds like you want to get past this and be able to enjoy what you're missing out on.

    I say buy and wear the ones you love - at home if you must. I think you'll be wearing them wherever before long.
    But even if you never feel comfortable wearing feminines out, what's wrong with just enjoying them at home?
    - - - - - - - - - - - - -

  28. #28
    Basenotes Member Crow's Avatar
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    Default Re: Can you get used to smelling "feminine?"

    I am a newb to this fragrance thing but I really like some women's fragrances. I have bought a few of each (male and female) and really prefer the females for the most part. But...I wear them for my own enjoyment and would not wear them around people I know. I've gotten to where I feel confident going to work or out in public with the lingering remanents of a fem frag (from the night before) on me but I'm confident at that point no one is smelling it but me and then only when I put my nose right against my skin. I would not apply a fem frag in the morning before work or when I expected to be around friends or family.
    I'm a blue collar working man and not at all what would be considered "metrosexual." All that said, the female oriented frags I like most are apparently considered fairly unisex gourmands.

  29. #29

    Default Re: Can you get used to smelling "feminine?"

    I own, use and like few feminines, but then again, I was never good to perceiving gender-based differences in frags (OK, apart from the fact that most are explicitly marketed for one or another specific gender) anyway, and while my scent wardrobe now is teeming with powerhouse offerings, in future, I might find among feminine scents just that one chypre, citrus, leather, even floral association of notes I was searching for quite a while.

  30. #30
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    Default Re: Can you get used to smelling "feminine?"

    NO! I cannot. Only if worn by my wife or other lady.

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