Maybe it's the risque quality of some of the recent discussions, or maybe there really is something in the (pink) water...
Thierry Mugler Womanity
She may be all woman. But hell, this sure ain't no lady.
If you smell this firecracker fig fragrance beware any wannabe big boys because this femme fatale is out to chop your balls off.
This room's just not big enough for both your sets of giant sized genitalia.
A waft of what this gal would like you to believe is an hors d'oeuvres of caviar comes to smack you round the chops.
But if that's caviar then you're the Pope and God knows it's a long, long time since you went to mass.
Rather than holy water this is eau de stagnant salty sea side rock pool, left to simmer in day-long summer sunshine: sea urchins, sea horses, stray sea fish and all.
Your starter's a tepid platter of on the turn fruits de mer.
Going Dutch you and your date skip main course and head straight for pudding: artificial fig.
An endless sugar coated, cotton candy version, so hideously sweet that it makes orange blossom seem like oakmoss, glace cherries galbanum.
For once the fruit, tree and specifically the fig leaf haven't come to cover up the male member...
But try as she might there's no disguising that your hostess has a fully furnished past.
Bold, brash, bawdy, busty and lusty - she's a shrill scream in the right kind of bad company.
Just don't ever, ever think of taking her home to meet mother.
No fruit symbolises female fecundity more forcefully than the fig. Whilst the leaf of that same tree is the very image of the visual emasculation of the male.
How appropriate then that Thierry Mugler's latest solitary punchline scent should bear the name 'Womanity'.
To describe this as a straightforward smell would be to over complicate things. It is bell peelingly high-pitched and pathetically honeyed fig on top of euphemistic 'caviar'.
It is the perfume of a perversely imagined pun on the pudenda.
What could have been truly controversial and confrontational in more courageous hands is turned into to saccharine vaudeville gag, a semi-skimmed single entendre that just isn't funny, no matter how many times it's told.
On a man? Absurd.
But, actually, that might be preferable to the effect on the female of the species.
- - - Updated - - -
It's just after 10pm, London. The lines are closed. Voting is over.
Tomorrow, Wednesday 23rd January, a runaway winner, I'll be wearing....
What will I wear next on Thursday 24th January? Choose from the following 10:
Estée Lauder Aliage
Elizabeth Arden Green Tea
Bvlgari Eau Parfumee au The Rouge
Givenchy Givenchy III
Kenzo Kenzo Jungle L'Elephant
Robert Piguet Fracas
Dior Miss Dior
Clinique Aromatics Elixir
Or the newcomer...
Dolce&Gabbana D&G Anthology La Roue de La Fortune 10
Remember all previous votes count towards a fragrance's running total and every participant gets a new vote every day!
You have just under 24 hours... starting now.
The next review will be along shortly.