Perfume compliments from strangers - not really a UK thing?

[P77]

Hey!

I've been wondering this for a while; both on this forum and especially on YouTube views perfume reviewers talk about the tremendous amounts of compliments they got on scents and there are various top ten lists etc

However, aside from people I know, I've never received a compliment from a stranger [someone I didn't really know at uni lecture once complimented but I wouldn't really classify them as someone I did not know at all].

So this got me thinking, is this perhaps a British thing to be a bit reserved and keep yourself to yourself. I'll admit there have certainly been occasions I have stopped myself complimenting and asking someone what they are wearing at the risk of being viewed as odd. Whereas Americans / Canadians etc are more forthcoming and happy to spark up a conversation with a complete stranger in a lift etc

I thought it'd be perhaps interesting to hear from Americans / Canadians / all others - as well as other Brits and compare experiences?

[warrior504th]

Most of my complements come from people who I am already engaged with, or who are engaged with my social group. rarey does anyone grab my arm as I pass by and complement me. Also, in certain areas/situations it is awkward to interrupt someone in that fashion. If you are having a night out on the otherhand, socializing with strangers is normal.

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I also feel like some people tend to exaggerate quite a bit for one motive or another... "two girls jumped on my lap and different people complemented [whatever] cologne tonight" just seems highly unlikely.

[JON RODGERS]

Pretty much agree with your observations overall - I have certainly had compliments aplenty over the years, but virtually all have been from family, friends, neighbours, colleagues, etc etc. Unsolicited comments from complete strangers here in the UK are extremely rare, while the attitude across the pond appears to be generally more outgoing and relaxed.

[Neil4Speed]

Nothing against people from the UK (I love the UK and try to visit once a year), however, interaction with strangers is not a particularly strong characteristic of their people (unless complaining about Weather/Transit Service)

I do remember being in Harrods and complimenting a lady who was working on her wearing Alien, smelled amazing and she was a stunner.

[Rüssel]

I'd say it's just more subtle, a glance, a smile. No need to point out the obvious, that perfume smells good.

[HDD8]

In the UK, the further north you are, the more sociable people are.

I live in the Midlands and can quite easily pass the time of day with complete strangers.... but whenever I visit London, most people seem to even avoid eye contact with each other!

[Zgb]

Not really a Croatian thing either, thus you could say it's not an European thing in general. Most compliments I got were from girls I dated, close friends of both genders, almost never strangers.

[Marais]

In the UK, the further north you are, the more sociable people are.

Aye!

[dianabi]

It is similar here in Italy: not only do strangers NOT comment on your scent, even friends and acquaintances rarely do that. They have to be really into it or very sensitive people to pick up on something like that and mention it. Moreover, scent is never frowned upon but hardly anyone wears it. A rare whiff of an occasional department store 'big hit', seriously, maybe twice a year!

[ChuckW]

It's really a mixed bag here in the USA. I have received compliments from complete strangers many times, most recently on Aventus. Hotel clerks, sandwich makers, drug store checkout people, it could be anyone. That being said, it happens maybe once or twice a year. Most times it is from my wife or work colleagues. At my former church, people would compliment my cologne, at my current one, they are more reserved and some claim a (wussy) sensitivity. Whatever.

[comfortablynumbbg]

It is similar here in Italy: not only do strangers NOT comment on your scent, even friends and acquaintances rarely do that. They have to be really into it or very sensitive people to pick up on something like that and mention it. Moreover, scent is never frowned upon but hardly anyone wears it. A rare whiff of an occasional department store 'big hit', seriously, maybe twice a year!

damnnnnn Italy? wow i'm shocked to hear something like this

[Ken_Russell]

No idea about the UK, but where I live, it is customary to know a person at least for a few minutes, before ant unsolicited compliments, thus hardly any unsolicited compliments from strangers.

Of course, people of extraordinary beauty, sense of style, fame etc. may get the odd unsolicited compliments from total strangers, but they are rather the exceptions who confirm the rule.

[Ken Cosgrove]

Funny, I just got two today from male colleagues about Tobacco Vanille. That has never ever happened before.

I imagine it happens more in clubs than anything. It's a bit awkward elsewhere.

[QWERTYOP]

Nobody I don't know has ever commented on anything i'm wearing. But why does that matter? I think strangers giving somebody a compliment on how they smell would be quite rare wherever you are in the world.

I agree with the interaction thing though. If you tried to strike up a conversation with a stranger on the street here, they'll probably look at you as if you're mental or fear you're going to stab them. In America (the parts i've been to anyway) I've always found it quite easy to strike up a conversation with a stranger at a set of traffic lights or whatever.

I don't wear fragrances for compliments anyways - I think doing so is cringeworthy and juvenile, so I don't really give a s***.

[Kagey]

I think it is very English to be reserved and not to compliment strangers, but also not to express disapproval, either. I also agree with the poster who said the further north you go in England, the friendlier people are.

But I also think compliments have a lot to do with how much fragrance you wear. If you wear a lot, people are more likely to notice it, and you're more likely to receive compliments. I just say this because most of the time I think I'm wearing enough for people to smell if they're near me, but in fact they almost never can (we talk about these things at work). This isn't meant to try and encourage people to overspray, but I think that has something to do with it.

[iivanita]

oh i am lucky then
i got compliments from nurses, from colleagues at work many times!, from friends, people in the gym ...and from total strangers, and once...in a train i was standing next to a girl and just when her friend came to her i took off my coat ,was hot and she said to her friend, i was in between them becasue i came first, oh you have some new perfume, you smell wonderful hahaha
i have good nose i did not sense anything but my perfume, was so funny to me! the other girl reacted a bit weird but did not want to deny anything i was wearing odalisque!! and was so surprised she liked it!

now since i started obsessing more with perfumes...and buying vintages....i got also a compliment from my family i smell like a grandfather haha, while i was wearing Shalimar EDC vintage....that makes me lough,and they can not understand what i like about it, i agree it really smells old fashioned

[hednic]

I have found compliments on this side of the Atlantic to be quite fleeting and rare in my case (not that I really care or give it much thought).

[P77]

Nobody I don't know has every commented on anything i'm wearing. But why does that matter? I think strangers giving somebody a compliment on how they smell would be quite rare wherever you are in the world.

Going by many YouTube reviews it appears to be extremely common, hence why I created this thread as I was also under the impression that fragrance compliments were rare. However if you have browse through YouTube it appears these people inundated with compliments.

I don't wear fragrances for compliments anyways - I think doing so is cringeworthy and juvenile, so I don't really give a s***.

I completely agree. I hope no one has misconstrued this thread as me complaining. Perfume is a personal thing, considering you're applying it on yourself and will have to smell it all day; wearing something solely for the purpose of trying to garner compliments is ludicrous.

[Awakening950]

I'm in the USA and have never been complimented from anyone much less a stranger. I'm like you, when I see these people claiming to get multiple compliments in one day I assume they are lying or soliciting.

[QWERTYOP]

I'm in the USA and have never been complimented from anyone much less a stranger. I'm like you, when I see these people claiming to get multiple compliments in one day I assume they are lying or soliciting.

I think this is mostly the case. I think most "compliments" mentioned on YouTube are actually sought out opinions from friends and loved ones. Anybody can do that and claim to have got multiple compliments a day on any fragrance.

[iivanita]

i cant wonder more when people claim they recognize perfume on someone passing by in the street or in public transport hehe, and i read that a lot here on basenotes:-) .....you must be an expert to recognize a perfume in such an instant of a second.....:-)

[L'Homme Blanc Individuel]

I don't think it's a UK thing. I live in the US and it's rare that I've gotten complimented by a complete stranger. I also don't think it's a perfume thing. Excluding flirting: in general, people don't tend to go around complimenting strangers.

Most of the compliments I've gotten have been from friends or women I date. The compliments are unsolicited, but my friends already know I like to smell good, and they notice in the same way friends would notice if you own lots of different pairs of glasses. It becomes a thing to pay attention to. I should also note that most of the compliments I get from friends are from my female friends.

As for dates, I try to never ever mention perfume unless my date brings it up because I think it's really fun to keep track of which of my scents gets noticed and what sort of reaction they get. I've mentioned this before, but it's worth repeating. I own several scents under $30 that get me more compliments - not to mention more ENTHUSIASTIC compliments - than the more expensive scents I own. But, again, those compliments usually come from friends and especially dates.

Honestly, if you want compliments, dating is the easiest way to get them. In my experience, women notice because they enjoy a well groomed man. Aim for dressy without being overdressed and smell good without wearing too much. You'll get compliments from dates.

I'm in the USA and have never been complimented from anyone much less a stranger. I'm like you, when I see these people claiming to get multiple compliments in one day I assume they are lying or soliciting.

I assume they're over-applying. Everyone I've known that wears too much fragrance has gotten lots of comments, often compliments, to their face but mocked behind their back. I'll never understand why people do that. Then again, there is truth to those compliments. One guy I used to work with always smelled good. It's just that he smelled WAY too much.

[d4N13L]

Never from strangers too, just from closer friends and relatives.

But also I never commented on how good a stranger was smelling, or dressed or something.

[senore01]

I work at a large court house in NYC. I often receive compliments while at work from strangers conducting business inside the court house. Usually this happens while I am inside of an elevator, or having just walked past someone.

[fit&frag'd]

My experiences living in the "conservative" midwest US is that people tend to be a bit more reserved when it comes to these types of things, especially with strangers. Personally, I'm fairly shy around people I don't know yet, and could never really picture myself going up to a stranger to compliment them on their fragrance. Then again, I can't say it's really happened where I've been so enamored by someone's scent that I've felt compelled to do so. I truly believe as well that so much of it depends on the situation, environment, culture and how approachable/accessible someone is. My guess is that it's generally people with very outgoing and social personalities - who also where enough fragrance for it to be noticed in the first place - that tend to get these types of compliments or comments more regularly.

[LANIER]

I live in San Francisco and we are a very friendly sociable bunch. I live a mile from work and I walk to work every day. There are lots of "good morning"s and nods from complete strangers along the way each day. But never once has one stopped me to complement me on my fragrance. Maybe I am walking too fast! However that being said, in the area I work there are people I see every day, acquaintances, and I do get complements and questions from them all the time.

[Francolino]

never happened to me in Italy! only from ladies I work with

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but hardly anyone wears it. A rare whiff of an occasional department store 'big hit', seriously, maybe twice a year!

damn right, people here rarely wear perfume!

[hedonist222]

I smelled perfume all the time when I visited Italy several times. Even in Bologna.

I guess it depends on the venue in which you frequent.

[Francolino]

I smelled perfume all the time when I visited Italy several times. Even in Bologna.

I guess it depends on the venue in which you frequent.

maybe before the euro crisis??

[Trebor]

In my experience, strangers will only comment (or provide some acknowledgement that you’re wearing something) if the perfume isn’t to their liking. Apart from that, as others have already said, it’s mainly friends, family and acquaintances who will compliment.

I imagine it happens more in clubs than anything. It's a bit awkward elsewhere.

It helps being inebriated, with a pint close to hand, as people tend to lose their inhibitions. Sad but true.

I think it is very English to be reserved and not to compliment strangers, but also not to express disapproval, either. I also agree with the poster who said the further north you go in England, the friendlier people are.

I also think it's very English to be uptight...

[aphexacid]

Everyone likes compliments. As long as you're not creepy about it, theres no harm in it.

Don't go up to a woman you don't know and say something like, "you smell delicious, can i have a taste?"

[donna255]

I am in Belfast and get compliments from women in shops(Marks and Spencer foodhall!!!!), the bank teller, the SAs in SpaceNK have told me I always smell great.

Its always women though. I did have a strange guy at a bus stop ask about my shoes the other week. LOL

[Trebor]

Don't go up to a woman you don't know and say something like, "you smell delicious, can i have a taste?"

Naturally.

It'd be better to go up to a woman, who you don't know, and say something like, "You smell delicious, can I lick you?"

[Possum-Pie]

I have gotten one compliment from a stranger...of all things I was wearing a sample of 1 Million. He was a man (so am I) but also a sales associate in the furniture store where I was browsing so he might have just been trying to engage me in hopes of a sale. I don't tend to 'bathe' in my fragrances, so the sillage isn't very strong...but I do wear some that really project. I live on the East Coast of USA and people sometimes strike up conversations with strangers, so I don't know why the compliments don't come more often. I have gotten compliments from clients, generally asking if I am wearing "Axe" which is a $3 body spray when I am wearing a $200 Niche!!

[Thematt202]

Try going for a walk in the English countryside. Everyone you pass will say Hi or give a friendly smile and nod. I've had long random conversations with strangers on more occasions than I can remember.

Only one perfume compliment though, from a girl at work. Was wearing JPG Fleur de Male at the time!!

[Possum-Pie]

Try going for a walk in the English countryside. Everyone you pass will say Hi or give a friendly smile and nod. I've had long random conversations with strangers on more occasions than I can remember.

Only one perfume compliment though, from a girl at work. Was wearing JPG Fleur de Male at the time!!

LOL I wear stuff for myself to enjoy, but I often wish for strangers to say "Oh, you smell scrumptious!" every once in a while.

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Try going for a walk in the English countryside. Everyone you pass will say Hi or give a friendly smile and nod. I've had long random conversations with strangers on more occasions than I can remember.

Only one perfume compliment though, from a girl at work. Was wearing JPG Fleur de Male at the time!!

LOL I wear stuff for myself to enjoy, but I often wish for strangers to say "Oh, you smell scrumptious!" every once in a while.

[joe mcclaine]

English people don't need constant reassuring like the rest of the World seems to crave.

That's why we neither expect, nor offer compliments.

It's not the done thing. We just get on with stuff.

[Kagey]

English people don't need constant reassuring like the rest of the World seems to crave.

That's why we neither expect, nor offer compliments.

It's not the done thing. We just get on with stuff.

And that's just completely untrue. The subject was compliments from strangers. I've seen English colleagues and friends give plenty of compliments about all sorts of things, and I've received my fair share about clothes, shoes, etc., and even perfume on occasion (just the other day a colleague, unsolicited, said I smelled good. I was wearing Ormonde Woman). But with strangers, I'd agree it's just not done.

[ChickenFreak]

In my experience, it's not a US thing, either. In roughly three years since I started the perfume obsession I've had precisely one compliment from a stranger, and even then it's not as if she approached me out of the blue - she was a waitress serving our table. I wasn't sure whether to be pleased, or to assume that it was a nice way of telling me that I was wearing too much. (Since I rarely wear more than two sprays of anything, that probably wasn't it.)

Other compliments are from friends, and usually inspired by my chirping, "I'm wearing something new! Wanna sniff?" That doesn't count.

[L'enfer]

When I lived in London I was complimented on my perfume quite often perhaps every other time I went out. It depends on where you go as it was mostly if not always from women who were obviously into fumes themselves.

[Kaelee]

I'm in the US and I would think it odd (though not really rude, just odd) for someone I didn't know very well to compliment me on my perfume. Yes, I wear it because I want people to smell it (though I really I wear it for myself more than anything) but I would find it very strange if a stranger were to come up and comment on it. It's such a personal thing, it would be like a stranger coming up to me and saying "Wow, you have really beautiful eyes!!!" (actually, I think it would be weirder than that.)

I've never commented on anyone's perfume that I did not know. If I see them putting it on I might say "that smells good what is it?" but other than that, I don't comment. It's not because I don't like it (actually, my supervisor at work is one of those "cologne guys" (though it's not offensive to me, it does lead him to being the butt of a few jokes). I'm dying to know what he wears because I think it smells good, but I don't dare ask, even though I know him pretty well.)

It's just...hmm...one of those things that's not for commenting on?

I'm always surprised at the stories of people getting tons of compliments from perfect strangers. I don't get it. I don't think I'd want a whole bunch of people coming up to me and commenting on how I smell.

[Evangeline]

In my experience, it's not a US thing, either.

I'm in the US and I would think it odd (though not really rude, just odd) for someone I didn't know very well to compliment me on my perfume. Yes, I wear it because I want people to smell it (though I really I wear it for myself more than anything) but I would find it very strange if a stranger were to come up and comment on it. It's such a personal thing, it would be like a stranger coming up to me and saying "Wow, you have really beautiful eyes!!!" (actually, I think it would be weirder than that.)

It's just...hmm...one of those things that's not for commenting on?

I'm always surprised at the stories of people getting tons of compliments from perfect strangers. I don't get it. I don't think I'd want a whole bunch of people coming up to me and commenting on how I smell.

Well, I live in the US and I do get somewhat frequent compliments from people around me, but I think it depends on a variety of things. Where you are certainly makes a difference, as well as what you're doing and how approachable you are in general. In the US, I've lived in Boston and Milwaukee in addition to New Orleans, and I'd get an occasional comment from someone next to me on the subway in Boston for example, and it also regularly happens on the streetcar in New Orleans (public transportation is where it seems to happen the most) but never once did I receive a compliment on my fragrance when I lived in Milwaukee, never ever ...not even when I rode the bus, lol. But when I do get a compliment (no matter what it's regarding), I've never been anything but completely flattered ...but this really isn't the same thing as a stranger "coming up to me" to comment on my perfume, and there's nothing creepy about it as they're already in my vicinity and engaged in the same activity as I am (waiting rooms, seated next to me at a concert, standing in line at the grocery store, on public transportation, etc.)

Also, I comment on others' fragrances all the time, and to the best of my knowledge it's always been met with genuine pleasure ...seriously, who doesn't like a sincere and unsolicited compliment? It probably made their day! Then again, I've never been afraid to speak to people I don't know, and I don't think it's weird or offensive when someone I don't know speaks to me. Admittedly, New Orleans is a very friendly place and people down here like to talk to each other, and "strangers" are only people you don't happen to know yet. Not all strangers are perverts - I think I'd hate life if I were only allowed to speak to or be spoken to by people to whom I've already been introduced. Besides, I think this sort of comment is the perfect way to strike up a conversation in situations where people are forced to be together in close quarters, and it can make things more comfortable, or even pleasant. And I don't consider one's perfume an overly-personal or intimate topic at all ...I can smell it, after all. Which leads me to ask Kaelee, if perfume is just "one of those things that's not for commenting on" then why do so many people demand at least some projection and sillage from their fragrances? I would say if you don't welcome comments, then don't wear enough so that others can smell it, period. And conversely, for anyone who wants more comments, first make sure that others can smell it ...but this doesn't mean you have to go overboard. There's a big difference between having a presence and demanding everyone's attention.

[Miket]

Also, I comment on others' fragrances all the time, and to the best of my knowledge it's always been met with genuine pleasure

Yes.

It's weird. When I was younger I never complimented anyone. Too self-absorbed to even notice if a stranger had something on. I never got complimented either save in a few situations like at a bar if I was talking to someone it might come up.

Nowdays I always notice and comment, and I get compliments more too.

No idea if there's any logic or sense behind it. I will say though the places where these comments usually happen? Trains are one, and if you go to a resteraunt and are waiting for a table often when you're milling about that's when people will notice, sometimes at stores and in particular by sales people but this is a little suspect to me, at social gatherings or venues, and places like that.

I don't think I've ever had someone stop me on the street. I've commented to others on the street but I never stop them (some would find that odd) however it's easy if you're walking next to someone; when you come to a crossing I will remark there. Sometimes they say something back, but I don't consider them unsolicited compliments.

I've never had a woman jump into my lap or start trying to pull my clothes off over perfume though. I don't think anyone else ever has either but it sounds like the sort of thing a lot of people would like to have happen. I mean I've had experience with some very forward women and I know sometimes things like that do happen which is to say people will have relative strangers flirting very physically and so on. I've never seen it occur because of perfume though. Not even Aventus :P

[Kaelee]

Which leads me to ask Kaelee, if perfume is just "one of those things that's not for commenting on" then why do so many people demand at least some projection and sillage from their fragrances? I would say if you don't welcome comments, then don't wear enough so that others can smell it, period. And conversely, for anyone who wants more comments, first make sure that others can smell it ...but this doesn't mean you have to go overboard. There's a big difference between having a presence and demanding everyone's attention.

I wear it for myself personally and there are situations where I want people to smell it (going out for instance) and some instances where I couldn't care less...but really, I want some projection/sillage so that I personally can smell it. Me and my boyfriend are about the only people I wear perfume FOR.

Other people may wear it for entirely different reasons (and I assume they do) but I can't speak for them because I'm not them!

I don't find comments unwelcome, just unusual. I don't go out expecting to be complimented on my perfume. I would be taken aback (but not offended) if someone were to comment. I don't feel comfortable commenting on it.

[Kagey]

Also, I comment on others' fragrances all the time, and to the best of my knowledge it's always been met with genuine pleasure ...

Yes, I do too (I'm American, by the way). On a few occasions the people I've complimented (English) turned a bit red, but didn't seem unhappy that I asked about their fragrances. Of course, there are different ways of approaching these things, and I guess it's possible that you could come off as creepy when you intend to be friendly, but luckily I don't think that's happened to me!

And like most threads, this one demonstrates the danger of extrapolating from one's own experience and assuming everyone feels the same about things.

[redrose]

I've lived in the US, France, the Middle East and here in England, and I have never, ever been complimented on anything at all by a stranger! Neither would I compliment a stranger on anything at all, including perfume. I'm English (from the south), and it would just feel plain rude to comment in this way, even to pay a compliment.
And the people are very friendly where I live now (East Anglia), generally smiling at strangers in the countryside and saying hello, but no personal remarks, ever!
I was told as a child that you never make a personal remark to someone you don't know, and so, I imagine, were most of my fellow Brits. It would be felt as intrusive, by me or by the hypothetical stranger I might compliment - that was just how I was brought up.

[Evangeline]

I've lived in the US, France, the Middle East and here in England, and I have never, ever been complimented on anything at all by a stranger! Neither would I compliment a stranger on anything at all, including perfume. I'm English (from the south), and it would just feel plain rude to comment in this way, even to pay a compliment.
And the people are very friendly where I live now (East Anglia), generally smiling at strangers in the countryside and saying hello, but no personal remarks, ever!
I was told as a child that you never make a personal remark to someone you don't know, and so, I imagine, were most of my fellow Brits. It would be felt as intrusive, by me or by the hypothetical stranger I might compliment - that was just how I was brought up.

Interesting ...I thought this was more common a century ago, but it really shouldn't surprise me - I know lots of people who just love having a reason to be offended, even if something was said with genuine kindness. But it still reminds me of A Room With a View, written in 1908, when Lucy is pointing out to Charlotte that Mr. Emerson meant to be kind ...but all that seems to matter is how indelicately he made his sincere and generous offer. People really haven't changed much, but I'm always glad for the various "Mr. Emersons" I run into throughout my day, and there are lots of them around here ...I suppose I'm a bit of a "Mr. Emerson" myself!

[Dudette]

To be honest I got 4 or 5 compliments but only on one fragrance - the one I really like, bit it's not considered to be a great one with perfume nuts...

Armani Mania (women) - people complimented, people asked what it is, and people asked how much it costs to buy for their wives!

Since I started wearing Hermes, Chanel and Guerlain - no compliments at all

So, maybe fragrances you wear are somewhat too refined for the common public you come across?

[OverHypedOverRated]

I have gotten compliments from clients, generally asking if I am wearing "Axe" which is a $3 body spray when I am wearing a $200 Niche!!

That would really piss me off if that happened to me

[thinkingmagpie]

I don't think it's just in the UK. I've lived in Japan, UK, Middle East, East Africa and Spain but I've never received compliments on perfumes by a total stranger anywhere. From friends & acquaintances, yes. In some occasions, I got compliments from people working at the shops I happened to be in but at least they recognised me from my previous visits. I remember, on several occasions, strangers at cafes & shops commented on my handbag and asked me where I got it from though... I guess perfumes are more personal.