Worst basenotes reviews

[Nosebud]

After seeing the best reviewers threads, it got me thinking about all the reviews that I couldn't even finish reading...

I hate seeing a review that is attepting to be poetic. I don't want to read excessive analogies about what a scent does to you. I don't want to read your metaphoric description, or your three-page allegory.
If a fragrance transports you, fine; a brief description of where a fragrance takes you is fine.
I will admit I have been guilty of this. My first review I did this because I couldn't do any better than was already done. Now I know that isn't important and it will be edited soon...

Please be concise. Unless you are truly gifted at plucking out notes like some of the reviewers or the "best of" thread, or have some industry info on the frag, there is no need to write an essay.

***PLEASE DO NOT FLAME***
This thread is a place to vent/complain about the type of review you do not like, not about particular reviewers.

[SteelerOpera]

The type of review I can't stand are the ones that are short sighted and unbending "This frag sucks, only a fool would wear this" it's the same as the type of customer I can't stand, the ones that literally sniff a blotter card for 1/2 second and say "NO". I had one couple where the girl must have tried 15 different frags in about 2 minutes. Sometimes she just sniffed the sprayer and said "no" almost before it got to her nose. It was as if she was trying to show me what refined tastes she had, color me impressed....


I misread the question initially and first thought of an individual reviewer. His verbose reviews sometimes made me worry my eyes were going to get diabetes. They did seem to be rather formulaic as well, "Upon initial application one is treated/assaulted/transported to ..." etc. BUT having said that he was very good at what he did, he was knowledgeable and opinionated and he had his own style that some may have loved and some not, but he was very committed. There were a few times when I was in TJ Maxx and I found myself looking at his reviews, skimming thru the verbiage, to see his opinion. I would love to know what happened to him.

[Bigsly]

There's a place for the "poetic" stuff though I am not fond of it, and the "dis crap sux" reviews are obviously not especially helpful, but for me the "worst" ones are by those who are most interested in top notes (but who do not disclose this fact) because they can be very misleading to someone like myself, who often actually tries to avoid most of the top notes. Once I figured this out the reviews became more helpful to me, when viewed as a whole.

[Darjeeling]

Not a fan of the "dis crap sux" reviews either. Similar positive reviews also tell me very little.

I don't mind some of the florid, poetic reviews, but TBH, I find them hard to read and often don't bother. I assume that like many people, I'm reading on a relatively small screen, so walls of text, poetic or otherwise, just make me give up. I don't even need proper paragraphs, just some breaks make it easier to follow.

[Rüssel]

The ones that bash a scent I like in an unwarranted, lazy way lol.

And the other way around, one sentence hyperbole about scents that clearly suck.

[rbaker]

All reviews I find worth reading to make me think. I find short ones that glorify or deprecate a scent without details or reasons the least interesting.

[Trauerkraut]

...see my post under the header: The best basenotes reviewers ever...!

[alfarom]

Generally I don't like reviews in which the author calls other reviewers' opinions to make his/her point. I think a proper review should make sense on its own. It should be suitable to be posted everywhere and still make sense...

[Diamondflame]

I actually think it's wonderful to see how much a fragrance moves the reviewer. Sometimes I get tempted to try on a fragrance simply on the strength of one eloquent review.

The ones I tend to avoid reading are lengthy ones with no paragraphing. Huge unbroken chunks of text make my eyes water...!

[aphexacid]

I skim reviews. I don't have to time to read through as a member waxes on and on about how they're running through a forest, and they fall in the grass...then they get chased into a barn....then from there they stop in a meadow to pick up a rose...and THATS how XXX perfume smells like. Really?

I need the basic gist on longevity, projection etc. Basic breakdown of what YOU think it smells like (because i can guarantee i will think differently).

So, any of those longwinded reviews are on my "worst" list.

[hawk]

The type of review I can't stand are the ones that are short sighted and unbending "This frag sucks, only a fool would wear this" it's the same as the type of customer I can't stand, the ones that literally sniff a blotter card for 1/2 second and say "NO". I had one couple where the girl must have tried 15 different frags in about 2 minutes. Sometimes she just sniffed the sprayer and said "no" almost before it got to her nose. It was as if she was trying to show me what refined tastes she had, color me impressed....


I misread the question initially and first thought of an individual reviewer. His verbose reviews sometimes made me worry my eyes were going to get diabetes. They did seem to be rather formulaic as well, "Upon initial application one is treated/assaulted/transported to ..." etc. BUT having said that he was very good at what he did, he was knowledgeable and opinionated and he had his own style that some may have loved and some not, but he was very committed. There were a few times when I was in TJ Maxx and I found myself looking at his reviews, skimming thru the verbiage, to see his opinion. I would love to know what happened to him.

that would be dollars&scents ... yeah what happened to him?

http://www.basenotes.net/fragrancereviews/13375978

[rum]

I'm glad someone started a thread like this to be quite honest!

I totally understand what you people mean by 'poetic' reviews. It's almost as if the writers are trying to get their posts noticed for Roja Dove's magazine or something similar. In doing so, there are probably about 5 people in the entire world that can understand whether they actually like the fragrance or not!

In addition, the one-liner review is also not the most helpful. In my opinion fragrances need to be reviewed three times - once for each stage of their evolution. After all, you wouldn't judge a book by its cover, so why else would you review a fragrance based on its first 30 seconds?

[ToughCool]

I got to tell you the truth, the tone of this thread worries me. I'm about as poetic as mud and used to do more reviews but if someone has a scent "move them" so be it. This is a hobby and an art so why not let people go nuts? There are all kinds of people here so I won't fault someone for giving their own take on things. Does that mean I read those Vs. more concise stuff. No. Just I respect their opportunity to give their thoughts.

[30 Roses]

Personally I enjoy the variety in styles and find something useful in most reviews.

[starshipvelcro]

At least on fragrantica, the ones that say "PM me I'm trying to sell this" give me almost no sense of what the fragrance smells like.

[sjg3839]

The one's that try to make best selling novels. If a review is four an five paragraphs, it's too long. After reading this novel, you still have no idea what the frag smells like.

[Francolino]

Personally I enjoy the variety in styles and find something useful in most reviews.

you got it!

[CompassRose]

.... it's the same as the type of customer I can't stand, the ones that literally sniff a blotter card for 1/2 second and say "NO". I had one couple where the girl must have tried 15 different frags in about 2 minutes. Sometimes she just sniffed the sprayer and said "no" almost before it got to her nose. It was as if she was trying to show me what refined tastes she had, color me impressed....

Why would you want her to waste her or your time with something she's not going to like? I do this too, and it's not because I have "refined tastes" (I should be so lucky), it's because I have such an exaggerated sensitivity to certain notes and styles that there is no way I will appreciate or even be able to perceive the subtleties and qualities of a fragrance that includes them. So yeah, I can reject a fragrance by smelling the sprayer, because I can tell there's something in there that repulses me on a fundamental level, or to which I am perhaps even physically sensitive.

The least useful reviews to me are the poetic ones, even though I enjoy them on an artistic level. I don't experience fragrances that way (at best, I can feel certain aspects almost synesthetically, in terms of colour, shape and texture). As far as actually guiding me to fragrances I have half a chance of liking, I prefer the ones by people who have a detailed nose for notes... so that I can guess at ruling out things on which, yes, I would waste my time trying.

[CompassRose]

gah. double post.

[QWERTYOP]

I don't have a problem with any of the reviews. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and everyone is entitled to express that opinion in their own way.

[noirdrakkar]

the worst kind of reviews are the cliche ones, that pretty much propagate other peoples opinions.

[chopwet]

I dislike the reviews where people just use the pyramids and not their noses.

It makes the reviews silly when people talk about smelling 'Egyptian vetiver' or 'Madagascan vanilla' as if they could tell the difference between vetivers or vanillas and they are apparently able to smell each and every note listed in a pyramid as the reviews provide merely a run-down of the pyramid. I refuse to believe that's possible (smelling every note), a few of the main notes, sure, but not all of them.

[barclaydetolly]

I like all types of reviews, but find the ones that are heavy in sarcasm the least interesting and most wasteful of my time.

[Ken Cosgrove]

I dislike the reviews where people just use the pyramids and not their noses.

It makes the reviews silly when people talk about smelling 'Egyptian vetiver' or 'Madagascan vanilla' as if they could tell the difference between vetiers or vanilla and they are apparently able to smell each and every note listed in a pyramid as the reviews provide merely a run-down of the pyramid. I refuse to believe that's possible (smelling every note), a few of the main notes, sure, but not all of them.

That's especially annoying when people just talk about the notes. Saying they smell this, then this, then that. That's not a review, that's just saying what happens! Like reviewing a book and just retelling the plot in brief. There's absolutely no point.

[Brian_Towers]

I dislike people who are oblivious of the fact that they have an obsession mixed with ego and other personal issues, and you can tell through their opinions, well, actually the lack of their own opinions, proper analysis and knowledge.

I think it's even simpler, some people have genuine passion, some not.

[Spoombung]

I don't mind what people say in their reviews.

[ILikePeeps]

I can appreciate 'poetic' type reviews.

However, most of the time I'd maybe rather read reviews that are more-so to the point.

Such as, what it smells like to them, what it may smell similar to (comparison(s)), the notes, how long the top note(s) last, longevity, projection, what type of fragrance (gourmand, chypre, etc.), etc.?

[chopwet]

That's especially annoying when people just talk about the notes. Saying they smell this, then this, then that. That's not a review, that's just saying what happens! Like reviewing a book and just retelling the plot in brief. There's absolutely no point.

It's usually that or the reviewer will start talking about things like: "it smells exactly like standing in a Moroccan desert" (I hear this one often, apparently the fragrance in question was actually named after a shop), which is good for a laugh if the person wasn't being serious.

In 99% of the cases where I've read something similar, I never doubt that the person actually has no clue (or experience) of what they are talking about.

Again, the inspiration for the review is what's written on the box and not what they are smelling.

[iodine]

I tend to skip too short reviews and the ones that focus only on notes and try to be objective. I also don't like reviews that rate a fragrance thumbs down because the reviewer hates the main note!

Regarding poetic or funny or even dramatic reviews I tend to like them when I'm in the mood of reading something more than just trying to understand what the fragrance smells like. There are reviewers that I feel closer to my way of feeling fragrances, of course, and others I don't get on very well with, but I think everybody's experience is interesting.

[Partario]

I dislike people who are oblivious of the fact that they have an obsession mixed with ego and other personal issues, and you can tell through their opinions, well, actually the lack of their own opinions, proper analysis and knowledge.

I think it's even simpler, some people have genuine passion, some not.

This.