it's funny that girls seem to have a better understanding for what I am looking for! After iivanita you are the the second female person who does so!
I have already a sample of Norma Kamali's Incense and yes I like it. It's very dry, exactly how I want it to be and it even has something metallic in it that I also like. Only the base is a bit too sweet (labdanum?), it has a brown colour where it should be black. Avignon and Messe de Minuit are indeed big disappointments for me! Avignon is like a parody of church-incense and the current version of Messe de Minuit is a bad joke (I wrote a negative review some time ago)!
It may sound funny but Eau de gentiane blanche from Hermes has some of the qualities that I am looking for! Of course it's not black in colour, more grey, but it's bone-dry, has absolutely no sweetness and has a kind of isolated and sad/melancholic feeling!
Okay, I am coming closer to my desired scent: I have to mix NK Incense with real Oud, with a bit of Norne and some Eau de gentiane blanche! Too bad I have not samples from all of them right now, maybe it would really work!
Maybe some people are interested in music: The aural equivalent to my perfume is the album "Black Earth" from Bohren & Der Club of Gore!