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  1. #1

    Default Do you ever feel "guilty" for your excesses?

    This is something I personally struggle with.
    I think the last time I finished a bottle was years and years ago, and my collection just bloats from month to month.

    Sometimes I feel really guilty about it and think that I should downsize to a select few that I really enjoy and stick with them, but I can't even select those select few.

    Over the past month I've gifted most of my collection to family and friends, currently down to just 14 fragrances. Yet I still have the nagging feeling that not only do I need to downsize more, but my choices aren't "perfect".
    Nag nag nag.

  2. #2

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    Default Re: Do you ever feel "guilty" for your excesses?

    Now that I don't have my other hobby (golf-due to my bad back), I do not feel guilty. I sell and swap a lot, and I only have around 30 full size bottles right now. So this is my only excess. No guilt as long as I use them all. If I ignore one long enough, it has to be sold or swapped.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Do you ever feel "guilty" for your excesses?

    not only is my addiction fragrances but all aspects of grooming supplies...i have spent over $300 in armpit wipes alone..and over a hundred on hand forged manicure supplies..a few hundred on hairgel..probably a few thousand more on varoius other supplies not including razors...i to have given most of my supplies away or threw most away that i dont use..probably a few hundred on fragrance samples alone no counting full bottles
    14 sprays of DRAKKAR NOIR should do it

  4. #4
    Basenotes Junkie FullCollapse's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you ever feel "guilty" for your excesses?

    Hey, you only live once. If it makes you feel any better, I have over 60 in my collection, and other members here have literally THOUSANDS of fragrances in theirs. Just some food for thought.

  5. #5

    Default Re: Do you ever feel "guilty" for your excesses?

    Bless me Father for I have sinned, it has been six months since my last confession...............
    I smell marshmallows!

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Do you ever feel "guilty" for your excesses?

    No, because I've finally learned restraint in this hobby. Maybe it was the 3rd kid but I own 4 bottles, 2 aren't ever used and the other 2 are permanent. I'm constantly looking for the next best thing but am hard to please. Watching My young daughters has taught me "new feels good but it rarely satisfies." They love getting new toys but they rarely make them happy. Not in a spoiled way, just in a " it looks great until you see the limitations." So sampling and ordering decants is a great way to enjoy the hobby while not feeling guilty for random buys.
    Last edited by ToughCool; 21st April 2013 at 12:05 PM.
    "As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round."
    --Ben Hogan

  7. #7

    Default Re: Do you ever feel "guilty" for your excesses?

    Not at all. Work hard, play hard.

  8. #8

    Default Re: Do you ever feel "guilty" for your excesses?

    I shouldn't, I shouldn't feel guilty. But sometimes I can't avoid that feeling and I think about what I could have bought instead of the 100 full bottles that I have. But then I look at my bottles again and I feel proud of my collection, and the bad feeling goes away.

    It is OK to collect. Human beings do such things on a regular basis.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Do you ever feel "guilty" for your excesses?

    I feel guilty , and I go in phases where I don't buy any for few months, then I go out of control again . I am planning on downsizing my collection of 300 +

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Do you ever feel "guilty" for your excesses?

    Umm...just a bit.

    I have spent the money I saved for 3 years on 1 year of perfume shopping, it was 5 bottles before I found BN and it is 80 bottles and decants.

    The other reason is I am a government officer sort of like a deputy sheriff here so I met a lot of people in need. It makes me feel that I can use the money I use for my pleasure for others in need. My mission as a government officer is help people as much as possible, we are trained to sacrifice personal comfort for the well-being of other and help them whole-heartly.


    I am quit of sober from the obsession of perfume shopping, it was buying cologne every week, now I only buy perfumes only when I went aboard or found really hard to resist price. I only bought 3 bottle in the last three months.
    ***My favourite from my collection***

    -------- Amouage Tribute Attar
    ------ Serge Lutens: Ambre Sultan
    -------- Les Exclusifs de Chanel: Sycamore
    ------ Amouage: Fate Man
    -------- Amouage: Epic Man
    ------ Tom Ford Private Blend: Noir de Noir
    -------- Terre D'Hermès Pure Parfum
    ------ EDP FM: Carnal Flower
    -------- Neela Vermire Creations: Trayee
    ------ Dior: Leather Oud
    ------- Hermèssence: Ambre Narguilé

  11. #11

    Default Re: Do you ever feel "guilty" for your excesses?

    I have never felt guilty. I know that someone will be getting a wonderful collection after I am gone.

  12. #12
    Basenotes Junkie
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    Default Re: Do you ever feel "guilty" for your excesses?

    I do at times when i think of the oppurtunity cost of the money i have spent.
    Then i spray some vintage M7 on me and that feeling goes away.

  13. #13

    Default Re: Do you ever feel "guilty" for your excesses?

    Quote Originally Posted by Erik_Safari View Post
    This is something I personally struggle with.
    I think the last time I finished a bottle was years and years ago, and my collection just bloats from month to month.

    Sometimes I feel really guilty about it and think that I should downsize to a select few that I really enjoy and stick with them, but I can't even select those select few.

    Over the past month I've gifted most of my collection to family and friends, currently down to just 14 fragrances. Yet I still have the nagging feeling that not only do I need to downsize more, but my choices aren't "perfect".
    Nag nag nag.
    Erik, it exists a screening for alcohol abuse called CAGE. It is somewhat accurate. This tool has been modified for many other situations, and i think any hobby it would be more than a hobby when it concerns people around you. CAGE are made by 4 question:
    1- Have you ever felt you needed to Cut down on your (excess buying)?
    2- Have people Annoyed you by criticizing your (excess buying)?
    3- Have you ever felt Guilty about buying?
    4- Have you ever felt you needed to buy to keep life going on?

    I just changed the word drinking for buying. The real CAGE screening is positive if you answer yes in 2 or more questions. But it was made for alcohol abuse. What i did is to make us think about patterns of abuse. Its capitalism.

  14. #14
    Dependent TLS's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you ever feel "guilty" for your excesses?

    There is nothing more depressing than having everything and still feeling sad.

    Capitalism leads to emptiness.

    On the other hand one can have many other really bad habits ;-)

  15. #15

    Default Re: Do you ever feel "guilty" for your excesses?

    Only if I drank them.... lol

    I have contained my buying to more samples these days than FB's.

  16. #16
    Super Member Osi1s's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you ever feel "guilty" for your excesses?

    Look unless you're fragrance hobby is taking food out of your kids mouth or perhaps their education, I don't think you have much to feel guility about. But that being said it doesn't sound like you are enjoying this as a hobby. Take a break, fragrances aren't going anywhere, come back and approach it from a new in a cpl of months time.

    Or maybe set yourself a mission, you say you aren't happy with some of your choices well what aren't you happy with? Maybe you haven't found your ideal summer scent etc, make that your quest, resist picking up that warm winter scent that you already have 10 other ones filling that role, and focus on just filling the gaps.

    Giving away your collection doesn't alter the guilt either, not sure why people do this. I feel I've gone overboard on mine recently and I've sold or gifted some bottles/decants but the majority it staying there and ill just restrain myself going forward.
    "Geez, when are the 'We love Aventus' T-shirts coming out?"
    (Possum-Pie, 2012)

  17. #17
    QWERTYOP's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you ever feel "guilty" for your excesses?

    No. I keep it financially sensible so I don't see what else I should worry about.

  18. #18
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    Default Re: Do you ever feel "guilty" for your excesses?

    Absolutely. It is not a good of necessity.

  19. #19
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    Default Re: Do you ever feel "guilty" for your excesses?

    No way. I never allow luxury to impact on life's necessities so I don't see it as an excess. A modicum of common sense and restraint is all that's required.

  20. #20
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    Default Re: Do you ever feel "guilty" for your excesses?

    I don't feel guilty at all. Nobody is suffering or going short of anything because of my hobby. I donate to charities on a regular basis and help people out wherever I can so i'm certainly not going to beat myself up over buying fragrances that give me enormous pleasure with my own hard earned money.
    Hard work never killed anyone, but why risk it?

  21. #21
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    Default Re: Do you ever feel "guilty" for your excesses?

    1. Perfumes are not important at all in life, so take it easy , you don't have to have perfect perfume collection, or feel enamoured with your frags....also you maybe own all modern stuff that are synthetic and can not smell as some rarity:-) .....maybe you should try something completely different from perfume world

    2. Try sampling for a while and restrain from buying bottles, buying too many means you did not develop your taste and you just collect

    3. its normal you have that feeling of guilty, because your intuition is right, you dont know what you are doing at the moment, and you dont make conscious decisions...
    .when you spend your hard earned money you do it because it brings joy to you but at the same time you redistribute money as well, it goes to perfume industry and not to clothing, or cars , or leisure time, or whatever else......so by making your choices you always affect someone else:-) not yourself only.....and for the moment this buying is not bringing you 100% joy because you would not explain yourself here

    our intuition knows better.......guilt feeling comes from deepest parts of ourselves

    This is what i think :-) .

  22. #22
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    Default Re: Do you ever feel "guilty" for your excesses?

    Not a bit. Even if I found valid reasons to feel guilty, the benefits, pleasures, fulfillments of collecting fragrance far outweigh any possible causes of guilt.

  23. #23

    Default Re: Do you ever feel "guilty" for your excesses?

    Well said livanita... you always hit the nail on the head.

    Hobbies are for pure pleasure. If it isn't fun... don't do it. Do something else that makes your heart soar.

  24. #24
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    Default Re: Do you ever feel "guilty" for your excesses?

    Thank you mumsy:-)

    Exactly it must be 100 % fun without the rest.....weighing + and - comes from the need to explain yourself to yourself when you are not sure:-) lol

  25. #25
    Basenotes Junkie CX827's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you ever feel "guilty" for your excesses?




  26. #26
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    Default Re: Do you ever feel "guilty" for your excesses?

    Yes, to the point now where I've decided to stop buying them. Except PR Arso, and maybe a Frapin...

  27. #27
    Basenotes Junkie fragrance123's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you ever feel "guilty" for your excesses?

    Not right now, I don't have too many but I did cancelled some orders thinking I might have bought too many fragrances.

  28. #28
    Basenotes Junkie Sapfir's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you ever feel "guilty" for your excesses?

    Nope.
    Every saint has a past and every sinner has a future. O.Wilde

  29. #29
    Basenotes Junkie
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    Default Re: Do you ever feel "guilty" for your excesses?

    Not really. I think it is only fair to treat yourself well, life is short after all .

  30. #30
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    Default Re: Do you ever feel "guilty" for your excesses?

    I just got into the hobby around October of last year and have 20 bottles already, I think I'm burnt out now even though I did just pick up DHI and want to pick up AdG Essenza. I was really fretting picking up a creed as my last fragrance for the time being but my senses kicked in lol. Maybe after a few months I'll start back up but for the moment I'm done.

    Maybe it's not guilt you're feeling but maybe you're just being burnt out of chasing the next great frag. Take a few months away from it all and see how you feel.

  31. #31
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    Default Re: Do you ever feel "guilty" for your excesses?

    What else u would do with the money?
    I bought my car fro $ 13000 brand new,
    While my colleagues in same job position
    spend on average $ 34000 upwards,
    The difference being more than $20000.
    My collection is currently worth about $25 k
    Now, lets do the Math:
    I own one car, they own one.
    But, I own more than 200 bottles, they only own a few.
    I have acquired very rich knowledge in perfumes, while they have none.
    I got to know wonderful people ( perfumistas and artists are the most nice people in my opinion)
    The odds say that I have lost nothing.
    I used to be just like u, and what i did is
    to commit myself to monthly savings,
    Believe it or not, my savings now are in excess of $100k (m an employee by the way, by no means rich by the money standard)
    Only thing though i feel guilty about is when I think
    how much i am spending on myself compared to my wife and family.
    I have no intention of cutting this out!

  32. #32

    Default Re: Do you ever feel "guilty" for your excesses?

    My ulcers cut off my other more obsessive & prob more expensive hobby - collecting Scotch Whiskey.

    So with some restraint I apply nowadays, things are under control on the fragrance part...

  33. #33
    Super Member Gamma's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you ever feel "guilty" for your excesses?

    No I have never felt guilty. I think it is because I hold a strict budget every month for my expenses, and allot myself a certain amount for personal use, I can spend it however I like (my wife gets the same). That way when we spend money on unnecessary things it is controlled, budgeted for and guilt free. I know many people who spend way more money than me on cars, gadgets, alcohol etc so I have no problem spending my money on what I like, which is most often fragrances and photography gear.

  34. #34

    Default Re: Do you ever feel "guilty" for your excesses?

    It's healthy and important to feel guilty. Without guilt, a big chunk of what makes us human is lost.

    For me personally, I had the advantage of going through a poor phase with my family growing up. It helps put things in perspective. For $100, you can transform someone's life from a gloomy dark suffocating place into a wonderful shiny haven. This is not an exaggeration.

    This could be why I'm picky with my perfume purchases. I currently own 7 bottles and will probably add no more than 2. Sometimes it's good to include a few minimalist colognes (few notes) so you can mix/layer them. That way you'll be able to achieve more scents than the number of bottles in your posession.

    Don't feel bad about being guilty. It's noble and beautiful.

    JC

  35. #35
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    Default Re: Do you ever feel "guilty" for your excesses?

    Don't think I do. Maybe guilty about not weeding out the perfumes that are not completely great but just good/fun at times, but I know I already/can always do that/sell them later, once I tire of them. I think I may feel guilty about not having any excesses, not buying even better, even more expensive niche. Then again, it's hard to say, I was brought up Catholic so there's always a general feeling of guilt :-p.

  36. #36
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    Default Re: Do you ever feel "guilty" for your excesses?

    at over 300 yes i do at times but then i just start buying samples and cheap gems..

  37. #37
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    Default Re: Do you ever feel "guilty" for your excesses?

    I have occasionally felt guilty, but then I remind myself that I am spending within my budget, all my needs are being met, and it's fine to splurge on some wants. I have loved perfume all my life, I have a large collection amassed over many years, and I enjoy it every day.

  38. #38

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    Default Re: Do you ever feel "guilty" for your excesses?

    I've never lost a minute's sleep over it. One man's "excesses" are another man's hobby. I love the variety that collecting permits.

  39. #39
    Basenotes Junkie Wheatstraw2's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you ever feel "guilty" for your excesses?

    Yes, so I'm pretty much done with adding to the collection. I allow myself an occasional surgical strike for something great. I think that my exposure to a broad list of names has educated me and made me more sure of what I like. And I think that a certain amount of hoarding for the future is prudent. But one, I believe, does reach a point of diminishing returns and that one extra bottle isn't going to thrill me like the early ones did.

    It's also a question of allocating resources. I still need to buy ties and shoes. I have finite resources and I like new ties and shoes, too. I also need to keep within limits so that I'm not prevented from being generous with others.

  40. #40

    Default Re: Do you ever feel "guilty" for your excesses?

    Yes, but the guilt is short lived.

  41. #41
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    Default Re: Do you ever feel "guilty" for your excesses?

    Never guilty about the harmless pleasure of scent, because I never spend money for perfume which was allocated for necessities.

    Fragrances come and fragrances go in this house...they do not just pile up endlessly. There are space limitations, and my tastes change.

  42. #42
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    Default Re: Do you ever feel "guilty" for your excesses?

    I believe that if it truly makes you happy, and you are not over doing it with $$$$, then enjoy this wonderful hobby. Fragrances can be so uplifting on a bad day. They are a glorious part of my life.

  43. #43

    Default Re: Do you ever feel "guilty" for your excesses?

    Yes, I feel guilty whenever I go excessively fragrance-less. If I wear only one fragrance during the day I feel like I'm letting life pass me by. Life is too precious and short to go around wearing only the wisps of one stingy fragrance application. Go ahead, have another shot. You don't want to be 99 years old in the rest home saying, "Gee, I sure wish I would have. . ." This is not a fragrant dress rehearsal, you know.

  44. #44
    Basenotes Member Roblord's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you ever feel "guilty" for your excesses?

    It's your money brosky, do what you want with it. I personally plan on having 30 bottles that i love and will actually wear.
    ANDERSON = GOAT

  45. #45
    Super Member huffeur's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you ever feel "guilty" for your excesses?

    No, I don't ever feel guilty. Have other hobbies to spend money on - surfboards and bass guitars, which are even more "necessary" to my lifestyle. I only get frags when there is some occasion (birthday, holiday) and my wife enjoys buying for me. Or if I have some monetary windfall, bonus, etc. When money was tight over the last six months it was easier to just stay away from here and focus on other things. It's much fresher to come back to BN if you do that from time to time.

    Guilt about the collection I have that I will never finish? No, my 14 year old will enjoy it. He's already plowing through my last bottles of Edition Blanche and GPH I. I have not told him I backed up both bottles at Sephora last year. He is starting to sniff around the Amouage bottles though...

  46. #46
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    Default Re: Do you ever feel "guilty" for your excesses?

    Traum vernichtung


    for swap/sale:





  47. #47
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    Default Re: Do you ever feel "guilty" for your excesses?

    Traces of addictive personality + good taste makes it hard to make right decisions. I get tons of samples, live with them for a few days and see if I really need that juice in my life 99% of the time I get bored after few tries or instantly know it is not for me.
    Having tons of bottles around you is no fun. Having few you really love is a great wealth.

  48. #48
    Basenotes Junkie Wheatstraw2's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you ever feel "guilty" for your excesses?

    Thoughtful and very nicely put.


    oops. @outline.
    Last edited by Wheatstraw2; 23rd April 2013 at 02:47 AM. Reason: didn't reply w quote

  49. #49
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    Default Re: Do you ever feel "guilty" for your excesses?

    Quote Originally Posted by hedonist222 View Post
    inspiring!

  50. #50
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    Default Re: Do you ever feel "guilty" for your excesses?

    YES but I find myself choosing better fragrances when I buy Niche which lessens the guilt. As long as you don't buy junk and you actually use the fragrances then it isn't a waste.

    The money I have wasted on junk products makes me feel really uncomfortable but I do give them away to people or second hand stores...a form of charity perhaps ?

  51. #51
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    Default Re: Do you ever feel "guilty" for your excesses?

    I'd feel guilty if I had a ton of bottles lying around and I never used them. I also try to hold myself back from constantly purchasing by establishing discipline. I know that if I just buy buy buy, I'd a) get burnt out & lose passion for this hobby and b) would feel guilty because I'd have spent my hard earned money for bottles that I'd barely be using.

    As others have mentioned, purchasing samples is a great way around feeling guilty. I view it like a nicotine patch. I'd be spending just a fraction as I would had I gotten the full bottle, and I'd be able to try much more fragrances. That way, I can make a very informed decision once I'm ready to pull the trigger on buying the full bottle.

    Also, I usually try to wait a while after buying full bottles, so that I can enjoy my purchases before buying again.

    So to answer the OP's question, I used to feel guilty, but not anymore based on how I now approach this hobby.
    Last edited by CaliDude; 23rd April 2013 at 03:15 AM.

  52. #52

    Default Re: Do you ever feel "guilty" for your excesses?

    Yes! This feeling is only growing recently...I'm trying to limit my collection and I only have 11 bottles, from which 2 I'm trying to sell now and 2 I'll be giving away soon(As soon as I find somebody that wants them).
    Anyway, I'll buy 4 more bottles soon too. Shit! I need to stop this.

  53. #53
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    Default Re: Do you ever feel "guilty" for your excesses?

    I think it was about 12-14 months ago that I started collecting. At the time I had 4 bottles. CK Shock, Joop Homme, CK One and Burberry Touch. I didn't know what niche perfumery was. I didn't know what Vetiver smelt like. I was on a bodybuilding website and fancied a new perfume so just asked in the general section and someone replied 'Creed'. I thought Creed was the name of the perfume and looked everywhere (ok, boots and the local pharmacy!) but couldn't find it. It was then that I did an online search and found basenotes.....the rest is history.

    12 months and probably a few thousand pounds later and my collection is 50 bottles. I did start to become a little worried a few months back that I wouldn't be able to stop but have found actually that things have naturally slowed down. At the beginning I was watching endless 'top 10' lists on youtube and hence the initial splurge. I would now consider that i have a very good base of perfume (designer and niche) and will now only add 1 to 2 bottles per season which is well within my budget. The problem is space so I will be getting rid of scents that are now redundant. (For example, whilst Love and Luck is a cheaper alternative, I own Creed MI and so no longer really need it). Same thing with Dior Homme Sport, I now have aqua fahrenheit which to me does the same job but is better. So one thing I've learned going forward is not to repeat too much of my collection and when i do buy something new to make sure it is different to what i already have.

  54. #54

    Default Re: Do you ever feel "guilty" for your excesses?

    Quote Originally Posted by senore01 View Post
    I believe that if it truly makes you happy, and you are not over doing it with $$$$, then enjoy this wonderful hobby. Fragrances can be so uplifting on a bad day. They are a glorious part of my life.
    I tend to agree with this. As long as you are not getting into debt over it. If it is truly making you unhappy and riddled with guilt you need to make a 'positive' move.

  55. #55

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    Default Re: Do you ever feel "guilty" for your excesses?

    Fragrances make me happy.

    I think most men have hobbies of some kind that aren't exactly a "good way to spend money" - cars, boats, etc. Frags are a lot cheaper!

  56. #56

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    Default Re: Do you ever feel "guilty" for your excesses?

    I just sold off about 5 bottles to buy a new suit or two. So, they're really a commodity for me to swap, enjoy or sell. I'm not that attached to my collection, I'm at a low point right now of about 25 full size bottles (1 OZ up to 4 OZ). Like someone said above, scents come and go in my house, I use 'em and lose 'em. But I do get immense pleasure from my collection. It's a luxury I could live without, but I'm glad I don't have to.

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