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  1. #61
    kumquat's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you know of women who believe the right perfume will attract the right man?

    Quote Originally Posted by Mona Visa View Post
    Lol, wouldn't it be great if there was a fragrance or cologne that could instantly make us feel friendly or positively disposed to the wearer, regardless of every other consideration? We could use it to create world peace.

    "Fighting in Kiev ceased today as small samples of Mona Visa's new cologne, Kumbaya, was distributed throughout the city."

    Trillions spent on bombs and technology to kill other people… Maybe a few dollars towards creating a fragrance that gets us to empathize with another person wouldn't be so bad…

    More to the point of this thread though, I can't say that I've ever consciously thought that the right perfume would attract the right man, exactly. I think there may be "wrong" fragrances. Wearing the same perfume as a man's ex might be a mistake; ideally you don't want to remind him of any other woman.

    What at a great idea! They could spray it on people who are hostile or about to commit a crime- way better than mace! People could squirt it on their kids to make them behave.

  2. #62

    Default Re: Do you know of women who believe the right perfume will attract the right man?

    The following needs to be dissected a bit and commented on.

    Quote Originally Posted by JiveHippo View Post
    Men who seek a "panty dropper" cologne do so because they genuinely think it will help them seal the deal. If these men were having success with women without cologne, they wouldn't be on this hunt in the first place. The idea that the right fragrance will help you get a woman in bed really speaks to the level of these men's pick up game. Gotta have a flashy watch, nice car, big muscles, tan, fresh haircut, sexy fragrance etc - really, all you have do is be confident and polite. I've seen many average looking men have success with beautiful women because they understand "the game". Anyways, often times you'll know if a person is interested in you long before you ever smell them, eye contact, it can happen from across the room.
    Absolute truth. I quoted the entire paragraph since it's from the previous page, but I want to add to the thought, beginning with this:

    Quote Originally Posted by JiveHippo View Post
    Men who seek a "panty dropper" cologne do so because they genuinely think it will help them seal the deal. ... The idea that the right fragrance will help you get a woman in bed really speaks to the level of these men's pick up game.
    Yup. It usually speaks to their complete lack of personality.


    Quote Originally Posted by JiveHippo View Post
    Gotta have a flashy watch, nice car, big muscles, tan, fresh haircut, sexy fragrance etc - really, all you have do is be confident and polite.
    A lot of men probably see a comment like that and roll their eyes. That's because those men are dumb. Women aren't some sort of alien species that mankind has only recently discovered. Women are people, and what do people want? In terms of dating, people want a connection. People want to be with people they like. People want companionship and, yes, sex. That may sound like a "duh" kind of statement, but really, it's the truth, and it brings me back to this: "really, all you have do is be confident and polite."

    Yes. And I'd like to add one other thing: Be INTERESTING. That's where most pantydropper-wearing guys fail. In my experience, most of those guys have the personality of a rock and an IQ to match. Hey, it's great that you dress well and smell good, but that's the equivalent of showing up. It's like a party where this guy brought sushi and that guy brought a 7 layer dip. Pantydroppercologne Guy is the dude who came to the party but didn't bring anything. All he did was show up.

    I don't think I'm a particularly attractive guy. Honestly, I'm probably average at best. And yet, I have great success with women. The reason why is obvious. Yeah, I dress well and I smell good, but the reason I tend to do really well with women is that I'm interesting. Perhaps "compelling" is a better word. I'm great at conversation, I'm funny, and I don't hide the fact that I'm a little bit weird. Instead, I make it easy for a woman to show she's a bit weird too - because, let's be honest, we're ALL weird in our own ways.

    The easiest way to do really well on a date is to show that you're worth getting to know. Be INTERESTING. Be compelling. Yeah, it's good to dress well and smell good, but that's just showing up. Figure out what makes you interesting because that's what makes you compelling to women. That's what makes you worth getting to know. And if you're not interesting, that's actually easy to fix. Learn stuff. Do stuff. Try new things. Talents are sexy. Hobbies are sexy. Knowledge is sexy. All of the things that make you unique rather than just another sheep in the herd... those things are sexy. If you're going to buy into the idea of pantydroppers (ugh!) at the very least, be intelligent enough to realize the things that make you worth getting to know are your pantydroppers (again, ugh, that phrase is so bad).
    In my swap list: Gucci Pour Homme (2003) BNIB.
    I'm looking for Reflection Man or Andy Warhol (silver bottle w/Andy's face)

  3. #63
    kumquat's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you know of women who believe the right perfume will attract the right man?

    Quote Originally Posted by L'Homme Blanc Individuel;


    A lot of men probably see a comment like that and roll their eyes. That's because those men are dumb. Women aren't some sort of alien species that mankind has only recently discovered. Women are people, and what do people want? In terms of dating, people want a connection. People want to be with people they like. People want companionship and, yes, sex. That may sound like a "duh" kind of statement, but really, it's the truth, and it brings me back to this: "[U
    really, all you have do is be confident and polite.[/U]"

    Yes. And I'd like to add one other thing: Be INTERESTING. That's where most pantydropper-wearing guys fail. In my experience, most of those guys have the personality of a rock and an IQ to match. Hey, it's great that you dress well and smell good, but that's the equivalent of showing up. It's like a party where this guy brought sushi and that guy brought a 7 layer dip. Pantydroppercologne Guy is the dude who came to the party but didn't bring anything. All he did was show up.

    I don't think I'm a particularly attractive guy. Honestly, I'm probably average at best. And yet, I have great success with women. The reason why is obvious. Yeah, I dress well and I smell good, but the reason I tend to do really well with women is that I'm interesting. Perhaps "compelling" is a better word. I'm great at conversation, I'm funny, and I don't hide the fact that I'm a little bit weird. Instead, I make it easy for a woman to show she's a bit weird too - because, let's be honest, we're ALL weird in our own ways.

    The easiest way to do really well on a date is to show that you're worth getting to know. Be INTERESTING. Be compelling. Yeah, it's good to dress well and smell good, but that's just showing up. Figure out what makes you interesting because that's what makes you compelling to women. That's what makes you worth getting to know. And if you're not interesting, that's actually easy to fix. Learn stuff. Do stuff. Try new things. Talents are sexy. Hobbies are sexy. Knowledge is sexy. All of the things that make you unique rather than just another sheep in the herd... those things are sexy. If you're going to buy into the idea of pantydroppers (ugh!) at the very least, be intelligent enough to realize the things that make you worth getting to know are your pantydroppers (again, ugh, that phrase is so bad).

    L'Homme- mostly what you're saying (which makes sense) is you need to relate to each other on a personal level and have something to talk about. There must be something interesting about each of you. Pay attention to what's going on in the world and read something besides the funny papers!

    (I love that you give the woman a chance to talk about herself. That's the key to attraction- listening to the other person!)
    Last edited by kumquat; 25th February 2014 at 08:56 PM.

  4. #64
    Dependent Navyy8's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you know of women who believe the right perfume will attract the right man?

    Women like a nice smelling dude no doubt... but what they're really looking for is a guy that gives them a challenge and shows zero neediness.
    An investment in knowledge pays the best interest

    - Benjamin Franklin

  5. #65

    Default Re: Do you know of women who believe the right perfume will attract the right man?

    Quote Originally Posted by Navyy8 View Post
    Women like a nice smelling dude no doubt... but what they're really looking for is a guy that gives them a challenge and shows zero neediness.
    Actually, no. Women aren't a monolithic group. Some like a challenge. Some are turned off by a guy who is a challenge because what they want is a guy they click with comfortably. Some women can't stand neediness. Some long to be needed. Every woman is different, just as every man is different. That's why the secret to being good at dating - even casually - is to give her a reason to want to get to know you. Be more than just a doorstop who smells good.
    In my swap list: Gucci Pour Homme (2003) BNIB.
    I'm looking for Reflection Man or Andy Warhol (silver bottle w/Andy's face)

  6. #66

    Default Re: Do you know of women who believe the right perfume will attract the right man?

    Agree, LHBI - we could quite possibly wallpaper a very large room indeed with the generalisations made in this thread

  7. #67

    Default Re: Do you know of women who believe the right perfume will attract the right man?

    Quote Originally Posted by L'Homme Blanc Individuel View Post
    The easiest way to do really well on a date is to show that you're worth getting to know. Be INTERESTING.
    I agree with everything you've said. However I think it's as important (perhaps more important, even?) to be *interested* in the other person.

  8. #68

    Default Re: Do you know of women who believe the right perfume will attract the right man?

    Quote Originally Posted by Navyy8 View Post
    Women like a nice smelling dude no doubt... but what they're really looking for is a guy that gives them a challenge and shows zero neediness.
    They may think that but sometimes a woman cares and wants a guy that needs her even if he is an alcoholic with issues but deeply loves her. Have you seen all of these beautiful European women, mostly Eastern European women with complete dopes in their home countries or even in the United States? You have bought into the image that the magazines are trying to brainwash you with that a man has to be handsome and smooth as silk to get women. I think the only women that buy into that are those that buy into the media. Many women also want a vulnerable man with a big heart that truly cares for them. Not every woman wants a macho guy that hides his feelings or a well-dressed, smooth-talking playboy that acts aloof. Many genuine and beautiful women see through that perfect facade and would rather be with an openly flawed man who is genuine in his actions rather than the "perfect" man that will probably cheat on them at the end.
    Last edited by Ronin; 25th February 2014 at 10:25 PM.

  9. #69

    Default Re: Do you know of women who believe the right perfume will attract the right man?

    Quote Originally Posted by cashmerecardi View Post
    I agree with everything you've said. However I think it's as important (perhaps more important, even?) to be *interested* in the other person.
    Agreed. Finding someone you're interested in is an entirely different conversation though. This whole thread is about what will attract someone to you. You're right though. For me, that is why I always dress well and am always well groomed when I leave home. One never knows when someone interesting will come along
    In my swap list: Gucci Pour Homme (2003) BNIB.
    I'm looking for Reflection Man or Andy Warhol (silver bottle w/Andy's face)

  10. #70
    kumquat's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you know of women who believe the right perfume will attract the right man?

    When I posed this question I didn't intend to open an advice column. I'm sure we all have plenty of opinions on the subject of dating!


  11. #71

    Default Re: Do you know of women who believe the right perfume will attract the right man?

    Quote Originally Posted by kumquat View Post
    When I posed this question I didn't intend to open an advice column. I'm sure we all have plenty of opinions on the subject of dating!

    Kumquat this thread makes for some fun reading.

    Fragrance may on rare occasions catch someones attention but how in the heck would it catch the ‘right’ person? What if it was the wrong person? Do you say ‘Sorry this fragrance was meant for that guy over there’. Just be yourself and keep it simple, the right person will be attracted to who you are rather than what you smell like.
    We live only to discover beauty. All else is a form of waiting. ~Kahlil Gibran

  12. #72

    Default Re: Do you know of women who believe the right perfume will attract the right man?

    Quote Originally Posted by kumquat View Post
    Primrose- ​I am also happily married to someone (Together 30+years) and neither of us wore any scent when we first started seeing each other.
    DH still hardly ever uses any scents at all save for aftershave balm or deodorant.
    "No sweet perfume ever tortured me more than this." Desert Rose by Sting and Cheb Mami, Album 1999.

  13. #73

    Default Re: Do you know of women who believe the right perfume will attract the right man?

    Quote Originally Posted by kumquat View Post
    I find it interesting that the notion of sexual attraction through perfume seems to be prominent mainly among young men. The same mis-conception doesn't seem to be as prevalent among women. Or am I completely wrong about this? Why or why not?
    Some women seem to get upset whenever a man asks "what cologne will women find attractive?".....but I'm somewhat surprised that more women aren't happy that men are asking "WHAT PLEASES WOMEN"!

    And while men wanting to please women isn't anything new (the pursuit of a woman by a man has been around since the beginning of time), women often times actually encourage this behavior from men. For example, feel free to go to Fragrantica and read reviews on various men's fragrances, for further reference on why men might want women's approval of and look to a fragrance as a conversation starter. There, you will see several WOMEN mentioning that "they want to eat a man when they smell this on him"...or that "their husband was wearing this when they met, and every time he wears it she wants to throw him in to bed". I've even seen women make comments along the lines of "this smells so delicious, they hope they never run across one of their platonic male friends wearing it because they don't know if they'll be able to control themselves." or "I've actually followed a man whose scent I found so incredibly sexy and alluring"......those sorts of comments.

    So....before anyone comes down too hard on men for wanting to please women by wearing an attractive scent...remember...there are an awful lot of women who are ENCOURAGING this exact type of behavior and attitude by the things that they write and say about various fragrances.

    Personally, I use fragrances to please myself and others around me, and yes....that most definitely includes women. I enjoy the scent, or else I wouldn't wear it....but I also like the idea of being well groomed with good personal hygiene, and I think that there is a certain amount of class and style that goes with a nice fragrance. But for young guys who want to use them as an ice breaker in hopes that it might lead to a conversation, which might lead to something truly meaningful.....then so be it. Some people tattoo themselves up in hopes of attracting attention and initiating conversation, while others make statements with their hair or their wardrobe. In my opinion, a man using a fragrance in hopes of achieving the same result should NOT be frowned upon.

  14. #74

    Default Re: Do you know of women who believe the right perfume will attract the right man?

    Quote Originally Posted by L'Homme Blanc Individuel View Post

    Yup. It usually speaks to their complete lack of personality.

    Yes. And I'd like to add one other thing: Be INTERESTING.
    Superficial women are attracted to superficial men. Think of a beautiful young woman with a rich husband old enough to be her great grandfather. It works for them, and that's OK. It's a symbiosis. This is not to say you can't have a February/December relationship.

    Some of us, though, want substance. That means that beauty/handsome looks or money may not be a priority.

    Think of the moral of the tale "Beauty and the Beast." The beautiful heroine falls for the beast because he loves her, wants her happy, and has a kind heart. (OK, maybe he wears Amouage Attar... )

    Quote Originally Posted by Ronin View Post
    They may think that but sometimes a woman cares and wants a guy that needs her even if he is an alcoholic with issues but deeply loves her. Have you seen all of these beautiful European women, mostly Eastern European women with complete dopes in their home countries or even in the United States? You have bought into the image that the magazines are trying to brainwash you with that a man has to be handsome and smooth as silk to get women. I think the only women that buy into that are those that buy into the media. Many women also want a vulnerable man with a big heart that truly cares for them. Not every woman wants a macho guy that hides his feelings or a well-dressed, smooth-talking playboy that acts aloof. Many genuine and beautiful women see through that perfect facade and would rather be with an openly flawed man who is genuine in his actions rather than the "perfect" man that will probably cheat on them at the end.
    Case in point.
    Last edited by Primrose; 25th February 2014 at 11:58 PM.
    "No sweet perfume ever tortured me more than this." Desert Rose by Sting and Cheb Mami, Album 1999.

  15. #75

    Default Re: Do you know of women who believe the right perfume will attract the right man?

    Quote Originally Posted by SportsFan View Post
    Some women seem to get upset whenever a man asks "what cologne will women find attractive?".....but I'm somewhat surprised that more women aren't happy that men are asking "WHAT PLEASES WOMEN"!

    And while men wanting to please women isn't anything new (the pursuit of a woman by a man has been around since the beginning of time), women often times actually encourage this behavior from men. For example, feel free to go to Fragrantica and read reviews on various men's fragrances, for further reference on why men might want women's approval of and look to a fragrance as a conversation starter. There, you will see several WOMEN mentioning that "they want to eat a man when they smell this on him"...or that "their husband was wearing this when they met, and every time he wears it she wants to throw him in to bed". I've even seen women make comments along the lines of "this smells so delicious, they hope they never run across one of their platonic male friends wearing it because they don't know if they'll be able to control themselves." or "I've actually followed a man whose scent I found so incredibly sexy and alluring"......those sorts of comments.

    So....before anyone comes down too hard on men for wanting to please women by wearing an attractive scent...remember...there are an awful lot of women who are ENCOURAGING this exact type of behavior and attitude by the things that they write and say about various fragrances.

    Personally, I use fragrances to please myself and others around me, and yes....that most definitely includes women. I enjoy the scent, or else I wouldn't wear it....but I also like the idea of being well groomed with good personal hygiene, and I think that there is a certain amount of class and style that goes with a nice fragrance. But for young guys who want to use them as an ice breaker in hopes that it might lead to a conversation, which might lead to something truly meaningful.....then so be it. Some people tattoo themselves up in hopes of attracting attention and initiating conversation, while others make statements with their hair or their wardrobe. In my opinion, a man using a fragrance in hopes of achieving the same result should NOT be frowned upon.
    I think because this is a unisex forum but slanted toward men, the women on this forum get a little tired of this.

    So, yes, women can and will come down hard on a man if he thinks just wearing a certain scent will attract a woman.

    What if a woman posted, "Men are essentially stupid, so I want a perfume that will attract them like a magnet, like moths flying on instinct when they encounter pheromones. I want to attract a rich, handsome, stupid man." Such a woman would be equally shallow.

    You see how insulting that is?

    A man wearing a scent should do so to be well-groomed. It's like choosing the right tie for the right shirt--and bathing. It does not, however, stop there. He has to work on the rest of himself: interests, personality, intelligence, integrity.

    If a man lacks those qualities but wears a great fragrance, he is still a dull, boring, stupid, amoral, albeit great-smelling man.
    Last edited by Primrose; 26th February 2014 at 12:01 AM.
    "No sweet perfume ever tortured me more than this." Desert Rose by Sting and Cheb Mami, Album 1999.

  16. #76

    Default Re: Do you know of women who believe the right perfume will attract the right man?

    Quote Originally Posted by Primrose View Post
    What if a women posted, "Men are essentially stupid, so I want a perfume that will attract them like a magnet, like moths flying when they encounter pheromones. I want to attract a rich, handsome, stupid man." Such a woman would be equally shallow.

    You see how insulting that is?
    Absolutely.

    OK...I'll admit, I never looked at it that way. I never considered that a woman would take it as an insult that a guy "thinks she's so dumb, that just having the right fragrance will get her in to bed". That's a good point. Sad, that some women would feel that way....and equally as sad if there are men that actually DO think that way....but it's a valid point, none the less. Simply because I don't look at it that way doesn't mean that others don't, or that the possibility doesn't exist....you're right.

    Quote Originally Posted by Primrose View Post
    A man wearing a scent should do so to be well-groomed. It's like choosing the right tie for the right shirt--and bathing. It does not, however, stop there. He has to work on the rest of himself: interests, personality, intelligence, integrity.

    If a man lacks those qualities but wears a great fragrance, he is still a dull, boring, stupid, amoral, albeit great-smelling man.
    I like your style!

  17. #77

    Default Re: Do you know of women who believe the right perfume will attract the right man?

    Quote Originally Posted by SportsFan View Post
    Absolutely.

    OK...I'll admit, I never looked at it that way. I never considered that a woman would take it as an insult that a guy "thinks she's so dumb, that just having the right fragrance will get her in to bed". That's a good point. Sad, that some women would feel that way....and equally as sad if there are men that actually DO think that way....but it's a valid point, none the less. Simply because I don't look at it that way doesn't mean that others don't, or that the possibility doesn't exist....you're right.
    No one wants generalisations made about themselves. We all see ourselves as unique with uniquely attractive qualities.

    The women who find men "edible" or "so delicious" are probably also sensing other qualities about these men: a sense of humor, kindness, intelligence and a quick wit, generosity, etc.

    The sad truth is that much of fragrance advertising infers instant attraction if one uses their scents, and hires attractive models and celebrities to front their products. Advertising is very clever.

    In my opinion, fragrance is all about enjoyment, just like enjoying a glass of fine wine or a fine meal.

    Wearing a nice fragrance is like "curb appeal" in real estate. A nice exterior with fresh wood trim and paint will draw prospective buyers, but if the inside of the house is roach-infested with peeling paint, a gas stove that won't work and water damage, no one would buy the house.

    I wonder what kind of person I would attract considering what types of scents I use.
    Last edited by Primrose; 26th February 2014 at 12:50 AM.
    "No sweet perfume ever tortured me more than this." Desert Rose by Sting and Cheb Mami, Album 1999.

  18. #78

    Default Re: Do you know of women who believe the right perfume will attract the right man?

    Quote Originally Posted by Primrose View Post

    The women who find men "edible" or "so delicious" are probably also sensing other qualities about these men: a sense of humor, kindness, intelligence and a quick wit, generosity, etc.
    Yes! And more than that: We build strong associations with smells. If your partner was wearing Guerlain Vetiver when you were having a great time together - "honeymoon" period, everything blissful in and out of bed - then a) the smell of Guerlain Vetiver is likely to elicit a good response, and b) his just wearing it can be a way of communicating to you - he's thinking about you, wants you, wants to please you - which in itself can make him "edible."

    The most important thing is that it's not about the Guerlain Vetiver. It could just as easily have been Dior Homme or anything else. Like others say, the important thing is to be kind, interesting, funny, smart, reliable, etc. The fragrance is incidental.

  19. #79

    Default Re: Do you know of women who believe the right perfume will attract the right man?

    I think the scent does initially draw you in, I certainly do an about turn if a man smells good but then if they haven't got the personality then it's no go.

  20. #80

    Default Re: Do you know of women who believe the right perfume will attract the right man?

    I don't know any women or men that think a perfume will "attract" the opposite sex. Or make anyone drop their panties lol

  21. #81
    Basenotes Junkie james1051's Avatar
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    Default Re: Do you know of women who believe the right perfume will attract the right man?

    Quote Originally Posted by Primrose View Post


    I am married to someone who never wore any fragrance until after we were married.


    .
    Quote Originally Posted by kumquat View Post
    Primrose- ​I am also happily married to someone (Together 30+years) and neither of us wore any scent when we first started seeing each other.
    Haha! My wife married a guy who never wore fragrance when they met, and never wore it after marriage either, for 30 years. And then the fool started wearing fragrance every day!

    Lucky for me she's flexible!

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