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  1. #1

    Default A note on respect and civility

    This is a reminder that the first line of the Basenotes Forums Code of Conduct is this:

    In your use of the Basenotes Community you are expected to remain respectful and civil at all times.


    I understand that some may wish to find fragrances that appeal to the opposite/same sex. And that’s fine. There are ways of wording these sort of questions and conversations in respectful and civil ways.

    ‘Panty Dropper’ and similar language is not in any way respectful or civil. It saddens me that lately on these forums there has been an increase in the use of terms that objectify women. It also saddens me that members who have objected to these terms being used, have been responded with rudeness and abuse.

    Going forward, this type of language will not be tolerated on these forums.

  2. #2
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    JON RODGERS's Avatar
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    Default Re: A note on respect and civility

    Much appreciated - thank you Grant

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    Basenotes Junkie Mrnybluesman's Avatar
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    Default Re: A note on respect and civility

    There has been enough said about this topic where people hopefully will think before they write. I certainly will be saddened if the female population on this forum are not comfortable posting anywhere they choose to do so. For those who choose to think fragrance is the end all be all for attraction, if there is the slightest doubt a word or a phrase will be offensive, objectifying, or rude....simply do not use it. There are ways to get a point across where people will listen and have a discussion versus closing their ears immediately.
    "It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it."

    "I've been everywhere but the electric chair seen everything but the wind."..

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    Default Re: A note on respect and civility

    Thanks very much, Grant.
    "I felt something so intense, I could only express it in a perfume." - Jacques Guerlain

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    Default Re: A note on respect and civility

    Thank you, Grant!
    "What is this secret connection between the soul, and sea, clouds and perfumes? The soul itself appears to be sea, cloud and perfume..." - from Zorba the Greek by Nikos Kazantzakis.
    Currently wearing: Orange Flowers by Montale

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    Basenotes Institution 30 Roses's Avatar
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    Default Re: A note on respect and civility

    I really appreciate this, Grant. It makes all the difference for me.

    Although women are in the minority on BN, we want and need to be seen as whole people who experience attraction to another whole person.

    We wouldn't be on BN if we didn't love perfume, but there is so much more to attracting a partner than one's scent.

    This is the message we keep trying to get across to the young men who post the offending threads: Use all of your finest personal qualities to attract, because women care about those qualities more than they do your scent.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: A note on respect and civility

    Thank you, Grant!

    Thank you 30 Roses, for expressing the woman's point of view so well!
    Currently wearing: Near by Gap

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    Default Re: A note on respect and civility

    Thank you Grant for your clear statement on this matter!
    Remember that while it is perfectly acceptable to criticize the content of a post - criticizing the poster is not.
    Mean spirited, nasty, snide, sarcastic, hateful, and rude individuals on Basenotes don't warrant or deserve my or other Basenoters' acknowledgement or respect.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: A note on respect and civility


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    Basenotes Institution badarun's Avatar
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    Default Re: A note on respect and civility

    Thanks Grant - a much needed stance...
    Currently wearing: Macassar by Rochas

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    Default Re: A note on respect and civility

    Yeah, even though I try to see the humor in everything (I even took to posting Valerie Solanas in a polarizing thread) it really was offensive and rather shocking to realize that men in this day and age actually believe some of this stuff! I mean, I'm not naive by any means. It was...well, just strange and anachronistic, like we went back 50 years in a time machine to the twilight zone where Rod Serling popped out of a vapor mist cloud of a bad reformulation of Mitsouko.

    Glad someone stepped in to impose some decorum and proper tone.
    Last edited by superfluousPastry; 15th November 2014 at 07:41 PM.
    It is true that fish stink. It is also true that the river is
    beautiful. But the river would be beautiful despite the fish. What
    is noxious remains so.

    That is not to say that sh*t is not useful when buried in the wheat
    field. Bread made from the field tastes sweet, wine from the arbor
    sweetest. All things serve a purpose, but that is no reason to
    glorify what is abominable. A man must still watch where he walks
    and keep his sandals clean.
    c.21 of the Egyptian Book of the Dead, Trans: Normandi Ellis

  12. #12
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    Default Re: A note on respect and civility

    Thank you very much Grant.
    It's that time of year again where my daughter asks; "Mom, why does the cat smell like Chamade?"
    Currently wearing: Io Capri by Carthusia

  13. #13

    Default Re: A note on respect and civility

    Grant, thank you.

    Asking which scents women enjoy is one thing. Using degrading languaged is ask is yet another.

    BN is wonderful because both men AND women feel comfortable browsing in any forum they choose. Many of us use scents marketed for men and women, and share ideas about scents for our families, spouses and partners. Such a wonderful atmosphere cannot exist with a sophomoric mindset.
    "That lover which is like fragrance
    Whose voice is as beautiful as Urdu.

    She who hides in the flowers
    you can only find her from her fragrance."

    "Chaiyya Chaiyya," from the film, "Dil Se."
    <div class="bnsotd"><b>Currently wearing:</b> <a href="ID26125293.html"><img src="http://www.basenotes.net/photos/products/33/26125293.jpg"> Hypnôse by Lancôme</a></div>

  14. #14
    Basenotes Institution Darjeeling's Avatar
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    Default Re: A note on respect and civility

    My only concern is that it will remain largely unseen here in Forum News and Announcements as I suspect most of the (male) users go straight to MFD rather than looking in here or clicking on Today's Posts or New Posts.

    Or at least that's what I do, except this caught my eye at the top of the forum page and I wanted to confirm my suspicions regarding what it was likely to be about.
    1. No, never blind buy (I do, but do as I say, not as I do. I'm taking no responsibility for your fragrance gambling).
    2. Get them both. You're a Basenoter and you know you're going to end up purchasing them both eventually.
    3. Yes, it has been reformulated.
    4. Looking for a signature scent? You've come to the wrong place.

  15. #15
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    Default Re: A note on respect and civility

    Quote Originally Posted by Darjeeling View Post
    My only concern is that it will remain largely unseen here in Forum News and Announcements as I suspect most of the (male) users go straight to MFD rather than looking in here.
    I want to encourage you all to post a link to this thread, of refer to it, when you come across posts that are questionable. That way we will make sure the announcement is spread and read.
    "The cure for boredom is curiosity.
    There is no cure for curiosity."
    - Dorothy Parker

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    Default Re: A note on respect and civility

    Appreciated, thank you Grant!

    -Mark


    Sent from my NSA monitored iPhone using Tapatalk
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  17. #17

    Default Re: A note on respect and civility

    Can't you just auto-replace 'panty-dropper' with something less offensive like 'garment-easer', or a row of asterisks?

  18. #18

    Default Re: A note on respect and civility

    Hi Grant

    I agree with your sentiments entirely....in light of this, could you perhaps review this old thread and see whether it still deserves to be on this forum?

    http://www.basenotes.net/threads/286...like-a-woman-s

    I was surprised when i first read it and took its presence to mean that no one objected to such conversations.

    Yesterday i made a very tame reference to it on Remiks split thread and received notice that someone had complained.

    Well, thats fine, but having such threads around, may send the wrong message.

    I would also like to apologise to anyone who might have offended by my words, which i have since removed

    Cheers
    Last edited by Tester; 16th November 2014 at 01:25 PM.

  19. #19

    Default Re: A note on respect and civility

    I'm glad to see Grant is putting his foot down, and I agree that a reminder linking to this thread needs to be put at the top of all forums for a few weeks.
    Currently wearing: HiM by Hanae Mori

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    Default Re: A note on respect and civility

    Quote Originally Posted by furrypine View Post
    I want to encourage you all to post a link to this thread, of refer to it, when you come across posts that are questionable. That way we will make sure the announcement is spread and read.
    Excellent idea, provided it is done in a non-confrontational manner. Include the link and approach with a measured and friendly attitude giving ample opportunity for editing, then if things continue in the same vein hit the report button rather than fuel the fire.
    Last edited by JON RODGERS; 16th November 2014 at 01:40 PM.

  21. #21
    Basenotes Institution TNBLUEMIKE's Avatar
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    Default Re: A note on respect and civility

    Yes excellent thoughts and execution. I tend to stray away from threads like this as non informative and tongue in cheek discussion. Panty dropper to me is somewhat childish and verbiage like this should be frowned upon in thoughtful discussions. We'll done Grant.

  22. #22
    Basenotes Institution freewheelingvagabond's Avatar
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    Default Re: A note on respect and civility

    Currently wearing: MAAI by Bogue Profumo

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    Default Re: A note on respect and civility

    Very much appreciated, Grant. Thank you!
    Currently wearing: Néroli Sauvage by Creed

  24. #24
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    Default Re: A note on respect and civility

    Quote Originally Posted by Tester View Post
    Hi Grant

    I agree with your sentiments entirely....in light of this, could you perhaps review this old thread and see whether it still deserves to be on this forum?

    http://www.basenotes.net/threads/286...like-a-woman-s

    I was surprised when i first read it and took its presence to mean that no one objected to such conversations.

    Yesterday i made a very tame reference to it on Remiks split thread and received notice that someone had complained.

    Well, thats fine, but having such threads around, may send the wrong message.

    I would also like to apologise to anyone who might have offended by my words, which i have since removed

    Cheers
    This kind of thread is offensive to me. Just my two cents.

    Thanks for this post, Grant. I think a sticky link to this would help those offenders.
    Last edited by kumquat; 16th November 2014 at 06:33 PM.

  25. #25
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    Default Re: A note on respect and civility

    I think perhaps a more cordial and polite way of saying what was aforementioned is perhaps "scents that women find attractive"...Theres always a better way to say things and for many forums to me, its not WHAT you say, but HOW you say it...

    For sure...
    TOP TEN FOR FALL/WINTER:
    1.) MFK Baccarat Rouge 540
    2.) Frank no. 2 LA
    3.) Creed Viking
    4.) Creed Royal Mayfair
    5.) ADG Profumo
    6.) Lampblack
    7.) New York Intense (parfum)
    8.) Fahrenheit
    9.) Dusita Issara
    10.) Gengis Khan

    Honorable Mention: Chanel Sycomore
    Currently wearing: Royal Oud by Creed

  26. #26
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    Default Re: A note on respect and civility

    Grant, thank you very much! It makes a difference to hear this from you.
    Currently wearing: No. 5 by Chanel

  27. #27
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    Default Re: A note on respect and civility

    This is a much needed stance, thank you Grant. I agree though, that it might make more sense to post it in the MFD.
    I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

    My Sales Thread - A Collection Purge
    Currently wearing: Great Lady by Evyan

  28. #28

    Default Re: A note on respect and civility

    Thank You Grant!!! This is of utmost importance!!!

  29. #29
    Basenotes Institution Darjeeling's Avatar
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    Default Re: A note on respect and civility

    Quote Originally Posted by furrypine View Post
    I want to encourage you all to post a link to this thread, of refer to it, when you come across posts that are questionable. That way we will make sure the announcement is spread and read.
    1. No, never blind buy (I do, but do as I say, not as I do. I'm taking no responsibility for your fragrance gambling).
    2. Get them both. You're a Basenoter and you know you're going to end up purchasing them both eventually.
    3. Yes, it has been reformulated.
    4. Looking for a signature scent? You've come to the wrong place.

  30. #30

    Default Re: A note on respect and civility

    Quote Originally Posted by Marais View Post
    Can't you just auto-replace 'panty-dropper' with something less offensive like 'garment-easer', or a row of asterisks?
    What are we going to do about perfume adverts though? Many seem to suggest that perfume leads to people removing their drawers.



    I hope these people knew each other before and were not just into drawers!
    Last edited by Rüssel; 22nd November 2014 at 01:53 PM.




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