Code of Conduct
Page 1 of 4 1 2 3 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 30 of 93
  1. #1
    Basenotes Junkie
    Join Date
    Jul 2019
    Location
    Nicaragua
    Posts
    653

    Default Does your partner understand your addiction?

    Does he or she ever suggest a treatment clinic of some kind ?

    Mine does.

    I'm thinking of selling her, and my kids, so I can buy more fragrances.

    Only kidding.

  2. #2
    Basenotes Plus
    thrilledchilled's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2018
    Location
    Virginia, Florida
    Posts
    3,245

    Default Re: Does your partner understand your addiction?

    Well, I have this idea of making money in the business soon so my wife is patient with me on this. Doesn’t understand at all. Doesn’t like any of the fragrances. But that’s okay, she’s wonderful in that she lets me do my thing and doesn’t comment.

  3. #3
    Wearing Perfume Right Now
    Bavard's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    Location
    Middlesex
    Posts
    425

    Default Re: Does your partner understand your addiction?

    No one here would use the word addiction. My son has commented that I have a lot of samples / too many samples when I had a box of 100 or so out in the kitchen.That was around three years ago, and it's the most push back I've had. My domestic partner is totally into it. My daughter would see no issue getting a package or two every day. That would be ideal for her.

  4. #4

    Default Re: Does your partner understand your addiction?

    Long term single here yet most of the time, most significant others so far had a neutral to rather positive feedback towards this hobby-unless this kind of reactions were merely a coping strategy and/or socially acceptable response towards this particular hobby, while allowing them to remain fairly non-judgmental, cautious and/or likable
    Last edited by Ken_Russell; 19th October 2019 at 07:17 PM.

  5. #5
    Basenotes Junkie
    Join Date
    Jul 2019
    Location
    Nicaragua
    Posts
    653

    Default Re: Does your partner understand your addiction?

    the word "non-judgemental" keeps popping up here, if we're surrounded by people like that it's a good thing. I actually don't think I should have to compromise or negociate , but I guess all households involve some kind of domestic negociations about finances. It's interesting that here everyone has different means and therefore different levels of purchasing power. Sometimes I feel relieved that I have some kind of limits imposed on me, because while I used the term addiction "tongue in cheek" ironically above, it could easily become that for me. I find that once I buy something, rather than being satisfied with it and looking forwards to it getting here, I'm already fixating on the next "fix", the next tempting bottle....the one that will be "the one". ;-)

    Thanks for indulging me, I wasn't being literal about addiction, though I suppose that will be different for different people. I imagine that for those who own huge collections and have the ability to keep buying all the time, this hobby must provide a real "rush"...

    I'm trying to teach myself to be patient, bless.

  6. #6
    a quarter million, tops
    notspendingamillion's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2018
    Location
    Middleof, Nowhere
    Posts
    1,612

    Default Re: Does your partner understand your addiction?

    Wife rolls her eyes hard. Subtle digs every now and again. Nothing too much. I got pretty thick skin. She knows im trying. Lol.
    It’s tragic to think that heroic man’s great destiny is to become economic man, that men will be reduced to craven creatures who crawl across the globe competing for money, who spend their nights dreaming up new ways to swindle each other.
    Currently wearing: Ombré Leather by Tom Ford

  7. #7
    Basenotes Plus
    Diamondflame's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2009
    Location
    Singapore
    Posts
    15,144

    Default Re: Does your partner understand your addiction?

    She feels it’s distracting me from my real mission in life. And I think she may have a point.
    “...too many among us die at thirty and are buried at eighty.” - Robin Sharma

  8. #8
    ToughCool's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2008
    Location
    Southlake, Tx
    Posts
    4,727

    Default Re: Does your partner understand your addiction?

    She thinks it’s crazy that everytime we enter a Sephora or mall my first comment is “I need a new...” which is usually cut off by “nope” and I’m not even a collector like many here .
    "As you walk down the fairway of life you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round."
    --Ben Hogan
    Currently wearing: Vintage by John Varvatos

  9. #9
    Basenotes Plus
    speckmann0706's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2017
    Location
    Wisconsin, USA
    Posts
    3,595

    Default Re: Does your partner understand your addiction?

    Only way was to have her join in LMAO she’s a lil over 40 fragrances ha! I bought them all as she doesn’t see a desire to buy them but does enjoy wearing them Score!
    Current Top Favorites

    Azzaro Azzaro Pour Homme
    Guerlain L’Instant De Guerlain Pour Homme EDP
    Chanel Egoiste
    Chanel Allure Homme Edition Blanche EDP
    Guerlain Heritage EDT
    Guerlain Habit Rouge EDT
    Christian Dior Dior Homme
    Ralph Lauren Polo
    Currently wearing: Habit Rouge by Guerlain

  10. #10
    Basenotes Plus
    DanHD's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2013
    Location
    California, USA
    Posts
    2,611

    Default Re: Does your partner understand your addiction?

    My wife gets a kick out of it, but I think she's happy I slowed down a bit. She actually has a great nose, and I love her descriptions. "Old man's powdered sweaty feet" was a good one.

  11. #11
    Basenotes Plus
    Jcelello's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    349

    Default Re: Does your partner understand your addiction?

    My wife makes jokes about my hobby, but I don't think she minds it too much. She doesn't like the majority of the fragrances I wear though and wishes I would wear "that pineapple one" I used to wear, haha.

  12. #12
    Banned
    Join Date
    Dec 2014
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    4,740

    Default Re: Does your partner understand your addiction?

    Quote Originally Posted by Diamondflame View Post
    She feels it’s distracting me from my real mission in life. And I think she may have a point.
    What if your real mission in life is to smell nice?


  13. #13

    Default Re: Does your partner understand your addiction?

    She'd happily eliminate the ones she doesn't like but also gives me compliments when I wear her favourites.

  14. #14

    Default Re: Does your partner understand your addiction?

    she’ll make a joke or two whenever we’re in someplace that sells fragrances, or when someone brings it up. she jokes that i’ve bought around 40 since we’ve met, and i’ll respond by saying i have around 10

    funny thing is, she’s gone through around 15 bottles in these years (albeit nothing too fancy, some cheap clones) with the “help” of her mother and i haven’t finished a single bottle yet lol

    getting married in a few weeks, so i gave her armani’s si as her wedding scent. she’ll finally get to see my small collection, and then i’ll hear about how much money i’ve spent on fragrances lol
    Currently wearing: Individuel by Montblanc

  15. #15
    not right, in the head

    HouseOfPhlegethon's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2017
    Location
    ....................................... Central PA
    Posts
    4,579
    Blog Entries
    1

    Default Re: Does your partner understand your addiction?

    He absolutely understands. In fact, he buys me new perfumes frequently, just for no reason or special occasion.
    http://www.basenotes.net/threads/468...ilk?highlight= my for sale thread...

    Grunge is dead... Long live Grunge...
    Currently wearing: Basic Black by Bill Blass

  16. #16
    Basenotes Institution
    sjg3839's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2012
    Posts
    43,042

    Default Re: Does your partner understand your addiction?

    She understands 100%.
    <div class="bnsotd"><b>Currently wearing:</b> <a href="ID26148387.html"><img src="http://www.basenotes.net/photos/products/33/26148387-7393.jpg"> Carven L'Eau Intense by Carven</a></div>

  17. #17

    Default Re: Does your partner understand your addiction?

    My wife likes fragrances and got me into this "hobby." That said, I think she's ready for me to slow down acquisition, but so am I.
    The Brooks Otterlake Sale Thread

    Holiday Favorites
    Bentley for Men Intense, Franck Boclet Tobacco, L'Erbolario Méharées, L'Instant de Guerlain pour Homme EDT, Michael Kors Michael for Men, Rasasi Dhanal Oudh Nashwah, Tom Ford for Men Extreme

  18. #18
    PuddleMonkey's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2010
    Location
    Washington State
    Posts
    2,589

    Default Re: Does your partner understand your addiction?

    Quote Originally Posted by p1trick View Post
    she’ll make a joke or two whenever we’re in someplace that sells fragrances, or when someone brings it up. she jokes that i’ve bought around 40 since we’ve met, and i’ll respond by saying i have around 10

    funny thing is, she’s gone through around 15 bottles in these years (albeit nothing too fancy, some cheap clones) with the “help” of her mother and i haven’t finished a single bottle yet lol

    getting married in a few weeks, so i gave her armani’s si as her wedding scent. she’ll finally get to see my small collection, and then i’ll hear about how much money i’ve spent on fragrances lol
    After all these years I still have the mental capacity of a 12 year old.

  19. #19
    hednic's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    Reside in McLean, Va., Manhattan NYC, Manuel Antonio Costa Rica & Búzios Brasil
    Posts
    296,331

    Default Re: Does your partner understand your addiction?

    My wife fully understands my fragrance passion and I understand her art and gem passion.
    Remember that while it is perfectly acceptable to criticize the content of a post - criticizing the poster is not.
    Mean spirited, nasty, snide, sarcastic, hateful, and rude individuals on Basenotes don't warrant or deserve my or other Basenoters' acknowledgement or respect.

  20. #20
    Missing Oakmoss

    Bonnette's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    Location
    Colorado
    Posts
    2,587

    Default Re: Does your partner understand your addiction?

    My husband is completely onboard with my fervor for perfume.

  21. #21
    Wearing Perfume Right Now
    Bavard's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2015
    Location
    Middlesex
    Posts
    425

    Default Re: Does your partner understand your addiction?

    Early on during dating, we had date nights that just consisted of smelling a bunch perfumes on paper and comparing notes, lots of blind sampling, etc. She's always loved it. Saying she understands would be understating it.

  22. #22
    Basenotes Junkie
    Join Date
    Jul 2019
    Location
    Nicaragua
    Posts
    653

    Default Re: Does your partner understand your addiction?

    You're all very lucky.

    I have to use subterfuge, lies and manipulation of financial accounts and records, to be able to continue this.

    I think she might be more sympathetic if I was addicted to gambling.

    Last night I lay awake on the bed in the darkness , fixated on a visual image of a dark brown bottle of Zino Davidoff , imagining ways I could smuggle it into Nicaragua.

    I'm thinking of building a tunnel under Macy's.

    My wife thinks I'm addicted. I told her that when I get my 5th fragrance, the Davidoff, it will be my last, and this will "round off " my collection.

    I was lying. I'm always lying.

    And what is blind-buying anyway, but a form of gambling ?

    We acquire stock, take our chance, and if it doesn't work out, sell it off. :-)

  23. #23

    Default Re: Does your partner understand your addiction?

    I am single and one year removed my last relationship. And thus with the yoke of self-realization (lol) and independence I have entered into my next Fragrance Renaissance.

    Ah yes, blessed be single-dom and my new state of . . . ahem! . . . selfish affairs.

    I understand this might be vexing to some, and admirable enough to others so as to incite minor envy, but we’ve all been in this state at one time or another in our lives. Now is my time.

    And what a glorious time it is! Oodles of extra time in my schedule to endlessly read as many of the reviews on Basenotes as my gumption allows. I’ve followed from a distance since the early 2000s shortly after BN’s launch and only just joined mid-2019 (finally) so that I could devote myself more. The niche market is booming, enough artisanal ventures are finding their footing, and even the designers have hit a few categorical classics in the last decade that we’ll be discussing for a long time to come. Myself, I’m pleased and feel my timing is great to invest myself more thoroughly and, unlike my prior forays into fragrance I’m finally a little further in my career and can be good to myself.

    My sincere apologies as my post technically does not adhere to the forum’s subject of partners. But being partner-less and seeing all my unedited passions reappear before me this past year is certainly a fresh perspective for me. And this is what rushed to my mind when I began reading everyone’s interesting posts here. So I won’t comment on past partners and how my fragrance hobby was viewed (that’s in the past), but I think this particular forum and its participants made me appreciate just how exciting this past Spring/Summer have been for leading me back to these Elysian Fields.

    postscript: I’ve been regularly reading so many contributions and reviews for a long time . . . I just wanted to say “Hello!” and thank you. As you can see I don’t often post.

    postscript II: Yay, single-dom and all these new doors to open!
    Currently wearing: Luna Rossa Carbon by Prada

  24. #24
    Basenotes Junkie
    Join Date
    Jul 2019
    Location
    Nicaragua
    Posts
    653

    Default Re: Does your partner understand your addiction?

    Quote Originally Posted by Rabidsenses View Post
    I am single and one year removed my last relationship. And thus with the yoke of self-realization (lol) and independence I have entered into my next Fragrance Renaissance.

    Ah yes, blessed be single-dom and my new state of . . . ahem! . . . selfish affairs.

    I understand this might be vexing to some, and admirable enough to others so as to incite minor envy, but we’ve all been in this state at one time or another in our lives. Now is my time.

    And what a glorious time it is! Oodles of extra time in my schedule to endlessly read as many of the reviews on Basenotes as my gumption allows. I’ve followed from a distance since the early 2000s shortly after BN’s launch and only just joined mid-2019 (finally) so that I could devote myself more. The niche market is booming, enough artisanal ventures are finding their footing, and even the designers have hit a few categorical classics in the last decade that we’ll be discussing for a long time to come. Myself, I’m pleased and feel my timing is great to invest myself more thoroughly and, unlike my prior forays into fragrance I’m finally a little further in my career and can be good to myself.

    My sincere apologies as my post technically does not adhere to the forum’s subject of partners. But being partner-less and seeing all my unedited passions reappear before me this past year is certainly a fresh perspective for me. And this is what rushed to my mind when I began reading everyone’s interesting posts here. So I won’t comment on past partners and how my fragrance hobby was viewed (that’s in the past), but I think this particular forum and its participants made me appreciate just how exciting this past Spring/Summer have been for leading me back to these Elysian Fields.

    postscript: I’ve been regularly reading so many contributions and reviews for a long time . . . I just wanted to say “Hello!” and thank you. As you can see I don’t often post.

    postscript II: Yay, single-dom and all these new doors to open!


    That was a lovely post, thanks Rabidsenses, especially for a first one.

    This hobby, as life itself, should be about "Carpe Diem", grabbing life by both hands and squeezing every last drop out of it.

    Sometimes I wish I was free to follow it as blindly, greedily, indulgently, as I want to. I do envy those with partners who don't ask them to justify what they are doing.

    You have freedom, and that's wonderful. I don't blame my wife. She is a very talented artist from Soviet Russia, and for that generation, children of 9 whose parents sent them down into the bowels of the metro at 4am to sell newspapers to make enough money to queue for 4 hours to buy toilet paper, fragrances are seen as luxuries and indulgencies. She will always think of how to spend money on us, on the house and garden, for our life, as in together, whereas I am often fantasizing about how Chergui or Mousse Illuminee smells, and getting carried off by my daydreams. And that's the big difference between a middle class boy from Cheshire and a girl from central Moscow. I have never known hunger, never had to work hard, always had my cake and was even able to eat it.

  25. #25

    Default Re: Does your partner understand your addiction?

    @Joe Kilroy, thank you so much for your comments.

    Agreed about Carpe Diem and it’s place in this hobby. In fact, it’s a state of existence that serves us well for all our passions.

    Regarding your wife’s background going back to Soviet Russia I have at least a little inkling of what that entails. During the first stage of my career I was an art dealer who collected and represented a wide array of mid-century social realism from the then Soviet Union. I was even fortunate enough to represent some works from painters who studied at the revered Repin. These were seemingly effortlessly gorgeous works from skilled painters (with a technique owing to the Northern European renaissance) whose subject matter told the story of raw struggle whose “virtue” would, of course, align (conveniently) with state discourse.

    Anyway, when you explained that space in between the perspectives of yourself and your wife I truly understood a little of what you meant by that. Having been immersed in the art and having met many of these (considerably older) artists and their reps, in addition to reading a plethora of biographies (and rewriting some for their exhibits) I came to understand better that generation’s hesitation towards some of our own outlooks, as well as the more encompassing ways in which they simply perceived things much differently than ourselves.

    I suppose in that case you best have the pulse on what is most substantial and timeless to you - the latter a potentially insurmountable unicorn! - so as to have just the essential fragrance collection. Perhaps then your wife will be more charmed by a smaller, less evolving collection?
    Currently wearing: Luna Rossa Carbon by Prada

  26. #26
    Dependent Danny Mitchell's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2019
    Location
    Indianapolis, IN
    Posts
    2,848

    Default Re: Does your partner understand your addiction?

    She doesn't even know about it, lol
    My girlfriend lives an hour away and we see each other twice a week, so she knows I have a 'few' bottles.
    "Ducks eat for free at Subway."
    Currently wearing: Explorer by Montblanc

  27. #27
    Dependent Man Of The World's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2017
    Location
    Essex - But born & bred in good old East London
    Posts
    1,999

    Default Re: Does your partner understand your addiction?

    No. Not at all.
    All Time Favorites
    Fahrenheit - Dior
    Fahrenheit Parfum - Dior
    Homme - Dior
    Terre d'Hermes - Hermes
    Bois du Portugal - Creed
    Jubilation XXV - Amouage
    L'Air Du Desert Marocain - Tauer
    Patchouli Nobile - Nobile 1942
    Musc Ravageur - FM
    Baraonda - Nasomatto
    Pardon - Nasomatto
    Incident Diplomatique - Jovoy
    Private Label - Jovoy
    Psychedelique - Jovoy
    Layton - PDM
    Pegasus - PDM
    La Nuit de L'Homme - YSL
    Currently wearing: Private Label by Jovoy

  28. #28
    Basenotes Junkie
    Join Date
    Jul 2019
    Location
    Nicaragua
    Posts
    653

    Default Re: Does your partner understand your addiction?

    Quote Originally Posted by Rabidsenses View Post
    @Joe Kilroy, thank you so much for your comments.

    Agreed about Carpe Diem and it’s place in this hobby. In fact, it’s a state of existence that serves us well for all our passions.

    Regarding your wife’s background going back to Soviet Russia I have at least a little inkling of what that entails. During the first stage of my career I was an art dealer who collected and represented a wide array of mid-century social realism from the then Soviet Union. I was even fortunate enough to represent some works from painters who studied at the revered Repin. These were seemingly effortlessly gorgeous works from skilled painters (with a technique owing to the Northern European renaissance) whose subject matter told the story of raw struggle whose “virtue” would, of course, align (conveniently) with state discourse.

    Anyway, when you explained that space in between the perspectives of yourself and your wife I truly understood a little of what you meant by that. Having been immersed in the art and having met many of these (considerably older) artists and their reps, in addition to reading a plethora of biographies (and rewriting some for their exhibits) I came to understand better that generation’s hesitation towards some of our own outlooks, as well as the more encompassing ways in which they simply perceived things much differently than ourselves.

    I suppose in that case you best have the pulse on what is most substantial and timeless to you - the latter a potentially insurmountable unicorn! - so as to have just the essential fragrance collection. Perhaps then your wife will be more charmed by a smaller, less evolving collection?


    Very interesting, I lived in Moscow for 10 years, it is where we met and like you I was involved in the art world there for the last few years, mainly helping to arrange an exhibition by the Young British Artists in Moscow, which I didn't stay long enough to see myself, but was involved mainly in the translation of the artists biographies etc.

    I like your idea very much of a minimalist collection. I am trying to seduce my partner into this and she is enjoying the Serge Lutens Douce Amer I bought her a few weeks ago, though she says it reminds her of cinnamon buns, which I don't get personally. Yes, I'd like a Spartan collection of 10, and I think I know what will be in it.

    Eau Sauvage
    Third Man
    Aramis Havana
    Aramis PH
    Zino Davidoff
    L'Instant
    Furyo
    Fendi Uomo
    L'Air Du Desert Marocain
    Battaniye by Pekji

  29. #29
    Basenotes Plus
    PStoller's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2019
    Location
    SoCal
    Posts
    1,110

    Default Re: Does your partner understand your addiction?

    My wife shares my generally acquisitive nature. She did wonder whether my fragrance fixation might not be more targeted at finding a few signatures rather than a large wardrobe, but I think she also realizes that this is a process she went through much earlier in life, whereas I'm a late bloomer who wants to try everything now before I decide I only need five frags after all.

    We have no kids, but my cat thinks I'm nuts.

  30. #30
    Basenotes Junkie jkonick's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2019
    Location
    Seattle
    Posts
    938

    Default Re: Does your partner understand your addiction?

    I've been single for a while, and not coincidentally it's during my singledom that my collection has ballooned. I think my collection is my partner at this point
    "To 'give style' to one's character-- a great and rare art!" - Nietzsche

    "I got my own style; you put my shoes on, you wouldn't last a mile" - Mac Dre




Similar Threads

  1. My addiction to YSL Kouros
    By change1 in forum Male Fragrance Discussion
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 28th August 2012, 12:45 PM
  2. Oh No! Yet another addiction
    By Tommv in forum Just Starting Out
    Replies: 15
    Last Post: 13th March 2011, 06:58 AM
  3. Addiction & Boredom
    By Mudassir in forum Male Fragrance Discussion
    Replies: 12
    Last Post: 4th March 2008, 02:50 PM
  4. What constitutes addiction?
    By bernat in forum Ernie Gallo's Fragrance Abuse Clinic
    Replies: 0
    Last Post: 9th November 2007, 07:05 PM
  5. OT: Help...I have a new addiction
    By The_Crayolaman in forum Yahoo Groups Messages
    Replies: 3
    Last Post: 1st June 2003, 04:50 AM

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  



Loving perfume on the Internet since 2000