Perfume Reviews

Reviews by Shlorpy

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Total Reviews: 17

Aspen for Men by Coty

Very solid fragrance for the price. This, to me, is what Polo should have been. A fresh, "green," citrus accord that dries down into a milder version of itself. Nothing super exciting but it gets the job done.

Right now I have Aspen on one arm and Cool Water (CW) on the other and, frankly, there's not a lot of similarity to my nose. CW famously uses a ton of calone which Aspen doesn't seem to (as much). CW is aquatic, Aspen is foresty.

CW is a relaxing walk along the beach on a warm yet pleasantly breezy day. Aspen is a relaxing stroll through the woods on that same day. However, I'd say that Aspen is closer to being the "green" version of Nautica Voyage, another "blue" fragrance that's a bit sharper than CW.

Synthetic? Yes, but not unpleasantly so. Aspen does not smell like a floor or toilet bowl cleaner unlike, say Burberry Weekend or Grey Flannel. It punches well above its price-point and has quite decent longevity.

If you're on an extreme budget, you could get through the days of summer with only Aspen and Nautica Voyage. One green, one blue.
17th June, 2020

Weekend for Men by Burberry

Really quite obnoxious synthetic citrus notes followed by not-quite-as-obnoxious "green" pine notes on the dry-down. Really rather awful. I'm not especially attuned to synthetic notes but here they are in the extreme.

Great for deodorizing shoes and the cat's litter box, not for putting on your body. If you want a fresh Spring or Summer scent, pretty much anything would be better. Throw a dart.
14th June, 2020

Set Sail St. Barts for Men by Tommy Bahama

After about a year of wearing this and several other TB fragrances, I'd have to say this does what Tommy Bahama would have wanted it to do, only not for long enough.

It makes you feel like you ARE a refreshing tropical drink on a warm Caribbean island. It's a summer scent that instantly perks a guy up and prepares him for having fun in the heat.

Men love it, women love it, even my dog loves this one.

Unfortunately it lasts about 30 minutes, at the most, and then it's over. I would recommend you do a dozen sprays of this stuff -- no kidding -- because 10 minutes later it will smell like you'd done two. And an hour later you probably won't smell it at all.

Sad, really. But, given the price, not too unexpected. Buy two bottles.
12th June, 2020
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Encre Noire Sport by Lalique

Tries to be everything and comes off as just... awkward and unpleasant. A dark, dusty, musky scent with top notes of citrus?

As someone said elsewhere, it's like wearing shorts with a leather jacket. It just doesn't work. Anywhere, ever. It's not a summer scent, or winter, or nighttime, or daytime. Or at dinner, or on a date, or in a club. It's not casual nor formal.

Maybe a goth gym. Yeah, if you belong to a goth gym, this is the scent for that. Slick back your black hair, put on your black trench coat, your black shorts and black running shoes and go for a run on a treadmill covered in fake spider webs while wearing this.

It dries down to something that's sort of close to "Moth" by Zoologist. Dusty and weird. Think "Moth"... in the forest... after smoking a pack of stale cigarettes. Or something.

I don't like it, my girlfriend doens't like it, and it doesn't last very long, so that sort of seals the deal.
12th June, 2020

Axe Phoenix / Lynx Phoenix by Axe / Lynx

Very similar to Dior Sauvage, maybe a bit more citrus. Buy a can and keep it in your glove compartment.
31st July, 2019

F pour Homme Black by Salvatore Ferragamo

This seems to me to be the type of fragrance that Christian Grey from those awful "50 Shades" books would wear. It's very serious, intense and powerful. No-nonsense and little humor. It's the kind of scent one could wear in a high-stakes business meeting as well as in one's own private dungeon while whipping slave girls.
09th July, 2019

Maritime by Tommy Bahama

First, the bottle is fantastic. Looks even better in person. Absolutely a display piece.

Sadly that's all there is to really recommend this fragrance. It's an austere aquatic a bit like Nautica Voyage but with a more powdery dry down and not as good. Bad performance even as far as Tommy Bahama scents go.

And I'm a guy who loves Tommy Bahama colognes. I have three others and enjoy all of them far more than this. TB shines when making "fun" aquatics, like TB For Him and the Set Sail line, all of which are better than this.

This hints at fun and hints at the ocean but doesn't quite deliver on either one.
03rd July, 2019

Club de Nuit Intense for Men by Armaf

This a review of a decant of the 2018 version:

Horrendous. Smells like a vat of rotten lemons in a burned-out tenement building. I let my girlfriend smell it and she said, "Never buy that again."

If for some reason you like the combination of overripe citrus and smoke, this is for you. Not my style. The good thing about this fragrance is it has permanently put me off trying Aventus, thus saving me a bunch of cash.
30th June, 2019

Tommy Bahama for Him by Tommy Bahama

This scent stays absolutely true to the Tommy Bahama name. I can only imagine it being worn outside on a hot day on the beach while engaging in relaxing activities that involve drinking copious amounts of tropical adult beverages. For that, it's absolutely perfect. Anywhere else and it would be oddly out of place.

This is similar to Nautica Voyage but, whereas Voyage is an austere oceanic fragrance with little play to it, Tommy Bahama for Him adds a strong, sweet fruit note that reminds you you're having a good time drinking a margarita by the ocean, not hoisting a mainsail out on the ocean.
20th June, 2019

cK one Shock for Him by Calvin Klein

Great opening as others have said. Much like Burberry London but this is Chocolate Tobacco whereas London is Vanilla Tobacco with some hints of pine. Both are exceptional.

Dries down to nothing within an hour or two on me. 6.7 oz can be purchased for around the same price as 3.4 oz, so look carefully at what you're getting. You'll definitely want the big bottle.

Insane to make this a flanker of CK One. They could have called it "CK NOT One" because it has zero to do with One and should have been called "Dark Seduction" or something. This is by far the most interesting CK fragrance in many years.

Definitely worth the blind buy. If you don't like it, I guarantee the first person you give it to will. A crowd pleaser for sure but not for days over 65°F (18°C).
05th June, 2019

Bijan for Men by Bijan

If I were to give Bijan for Men a one-word description it would be "piquant." In the classic meaning of the term. That is, arousing but not necessarily pleasantly arousing. With a certain level of irritation. But in a good way. At least to me.

Today our Millennial friends are being taught that the gravest sin a person can commit is to offend someone else. This comes from a time before that.

Bijan is one of my top three fragrances because it's just so interesting. It has so many aspects and each one seems to tickle my nose and make me want to take another sniff.

I would say it isn't in the slightest bit "pleasant" but it's completely compelling. It pulls you toward it and pushes you away simultaneously, creating a certain tension that never resolves but keeps you coming back for more. And that is the essence of seduction.
26th April, 2019

Polo Black by Ralph Lauren

This should really be called "Polo Sex on the Beach" because it has absolutely no sophistication nor "darkness" to it. It's not a nighttime scent at all but rather a scent I'd wear while playing beach volleyball or while reclining on a tropical island sipping, yes, Sexes on the Beach.

It starts with an interesting fruit note that bursts through its sporty freshness. The first 15 minutes are a lot of fun. Then it just dies right there. The fruit note blends into a smooth middle and then sadly the whole thing just fades to black.

Maybe that's why they call it Polo Black.
26th April, 2019

Grey Flannel by Geoffrey Beene

Like Lysol and Pine-sol in one fragrance. One of the real horrors I've blind-bought. I actually purchased "Eau de Grey Flannel" by mistake at first, thinking it was this, because it was packaged exactly the same. Then I bought this.

It has a lemony citrus top note which hits the nose like an ice-pick. Followed up with some cold, dry pine and few other things. It dries down to nearly nothing in about 30 minutes on skin, maybe 3 hours on fabrics.

This cost me $9 for 4 oz and for that price it's an excellent deodorizer for shoes, gym bags, cat boxes and the like. Especially when combined with its sister-fragrance, the aforementioned Eau de Grey Flannel (see my review of that one). Together they make a far more pleasing scent than either one does on its own.

I wouldn't wear it though.
24th April, 2019
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Eau de Grey Flannel by Geoffrey Beene

I bought this by mistake, thinking it was Grey Flannel. Super cheap.

It has no longevity or projection to speak of and is gone in about 30 minutes from my skin.

It has a generic blue synthetic aquatic scent whereas Grey Flannel has what I'd describe as a cold green astringent scent.

The only use I've found for this is mixing it 50/50 with actual Grey Flannel and deodorizing my shoes with it. For that it's quite excellent. The two combined have a great fresh scent that surpasses either one of them alone.
23rd April, 2019

Kouros by Yves Saint Laurent

My thumb is barely up, mostly sideways.

I've tried both a vintage version (from the 90s) and the current version (as of 2019).

The vintage is indeed "dirtier." Kind of nauseating actually. I wanted to experience the legendary "gladiator jock strap" odor of this thing and... well... be careful what you wish for. It's just not very pleasant. I don't get any urine or fecal smells. It's just kind of ew.

The current reformulation is actually somewhat better to my nose. It has a more incense quality. Still keeping the animalic notes but masking them a bit with spice. Only in the drydown will you experience what the original was and by then it's a skin scent where it belongs.

Both have excellent longevity.

I was looking for something that was bold and outrageous and unapologetically masculine, but the original is just kind of gross. It doesn't smell so much like a sweaty guy as it does a dead animal dipped in potpourri.

If you want to try this, go ahead. But don't get upset if you can't find the vintage stuff, and certainly don't spend big bucks for it. It's not actually wearable in public whereas the new stuff is. Barely.
23rd April, 2019

Déclaration by Cartier

I don't know if I got a bad carded sample or what. I spray this in the air, on a test strip and on myself and I get almost no scent whatsoever. At all.

There's a vague powder odor for maybe 3 minutes and then nothing. It's unlike any fragrance I own. There's no performance here at all, at least to my nose. Oh well!
23rd April, 2019

Obsession for Men by Calvin Klein

This scent is redolent of an old woman's powder room from the 1930s.

I can't imagine any man of any age wearing this cologne. That it was created in the 1980s as a "masculine" scent blows my mind.

This is the cologne equivalent of Mixture No. 79 in the pipe tobacco world. Extremely soapy with talc and heavy, heavy floral scents. The slight hint of musk is drowned by these cloying essences. In fact it smells almost exactly like those "dusting powders" that grandma used to pat on herself or pour into a hot bath to generate a pleasant scent.

It certainly lasts a long time, but not in a good way. Just as Mixture 79 will ghost your pipe, Obsession for Men will ghost your body.
12th April, 2019