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'Who ya calling a clown?' said the guy
'Take this spritz of Jazz in the eye
For a clown is a king
Or much the same thing
Toodle-oo, adios, and goodbye'

There once was a lad, Ho Malone
Who was left to make scents all alone
His 'Pizza & Brut'
Was rather cute
But 'Filthy Animal' was his greatest cologne

A fan of Parfum d'Empire
Whispered soft and low in his ear
'Come in my car
Try my Eau de Gloire
In the front, not in the rear'

A real tough guy smelling of wood
Was convinced that he smelled as he should
But the tip of his wood
Didn't smell all that good
So we chopped it off for firewood

What man wants to smell like a girl?
And have a big baton to twirl?
Fresh violets and rose
Arousing your nose
I'm in, I'll give it a whirl

There once was a fellow, Hermès
Not known for sporting a fez
But his scent, Equipage
Was known at large:
Leather, carnation and gingerbread

I urge you, as soon as you can
To read reviews by Naed_Nitram
In a world of his own
He tells of cologne
I remain, his No.1 fan

The magic Gentleman by Givenchy
The Mount Olympus of patchoulis
Deep in the ground
Its source can be found
But is protected by wild honey bees

Another Rochas, it's Moustache
Hesperidic blast from the past
Twinkling lemons
Sent from the heavens..
And all that powder, whoa, what a blast!

The rather tweedy Monsieur Rochas
The epitome of warm class
An elegant farmer
In fresh pressed pyjamas
With a bright and jovial laugh

In an attempt to cure my blues
I shall attempt to write reviews
Of classic perfumes
In limerick tunes
Here goes, hold on to your spoons

(Old versions)

'Sweet Jaysus!', the first celeb perfume
Was created in A.D. 42
Made from pure nard
In someone's back yard
The emperor had a bottle or two

The musk coming from the muskrat
Does not smell, at all, of wild cat
It smells of wet dog
Coming home from the fog
With an undertone of doormat

There once was a perfume bandit
Whose heist went just as he planned it
He swapped all girls' scents
With those of the gents
Now Jason loves smelling like Janet

'Black Opium Zebra Collector'
Got past the Perfume Name Inspector
And she lives with the shame
For this god awful name
But she mustn't let it affect her

To bathe in one's juice is obtuse
More so if you smell of wild goose
But a spritz on your bits
From your feet to your tits
With perfume will make you a Zeus

OMG, Paco Rabanne La Nuit
Don't invite her 'round for high tea
A ouija board session
Or voodoo procession
Is much more her cup of tea

Once sitting with a perfume Svengali
She doused me with Salvador Dali
'Some say it is gothic
But I'd say erotic...'
Then pulled me towards the back alley

What perfume colour do you choose?
I'm put off by anything blue
Amber seems quite right
And green a delight
But bright pink just gives me the blues!

Limerick rhyming for perfume:
Mushroom, Khartoum, volume and bloom
Brigadoon, baboon
Volume and bassoon
But beware, there isn't much room!

Mr Toast (somewhat of a nutter)
Sought a wife smelling just like butter
What a great pair they'd be
Over Darjeeling tea
Just the thought set his heart aflutter

A Basenotes member once did boast
On being stuck on 69 posts
A sexy position
Is the tradition
But don't try it whilst eating toast

YSL made a scent named Champagne
But were soon forced to change that name
Now I wear Yvresse
In a cocktail dress
Some say I'm not quite the same...

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The scent of this terrible year
Was of cabbage and rather stale beer
But as the clock chimes twelve
A friendly old elf
Will spray you with Goodness & Cheer

There once was a chap from Basenotes
Who got giddy from sniffing wild goats:
"Pungent and stark
Refreshing, yet dark!"
From labdanum entwined in their coats

There was an old beggar of Lyon
Who always went on and on and on...
'Oh, that smell of mace
But not in your face'
Referring to Cacharel pour L'Homme

Tim Fjord has been getting some drama
Since his new release: 'Lost Banana'
They say it's a clone
That he should go home
Back to his old job: salmon farmer

During the great Corona virus
I got locked down at home with Iris
Smelling great at the start
She started to fart
And kept for herself my old wireless

I'm not sure there's a perfume named 'Rocky'
If there was, I'm damn sure it'd be cocky
A scent for a jock
With pecs made of rock
And a cock (due to drugs) somewhat floppy

Do mosquitoes get high on perfumes?
As the fly about in our rooms
And can they tell
Dior from Chanel?
Who cares? Take that with this broom!

I filled up my pool with cologne
Then called up Sylvester Stallone
We bathed in the scent
And smelled heaven-sent
Whilst respecting a two meter zone

There once was a young man from Bath
Who stole Marcel Rochas' moustache
Stuck it on his face
And ran off at pace
Whilst poor Marcel just sat there, aghast!

I’ve never tried that one called Bang
Or anything by Vera Wang
I’m not in the gang
Cannot do your thang
Don’t shoot me down, bang bang

There once was a lad from Seville
Who rubbed himself with orange peel
‘Mmmm, juicy, yet bitter!‘
Declared the young critter
‘With guaranteed chica appeal!’

A perfume reviewer with elegant ways
Offended a tough guy called Dave
“Such a limp wrist!
And is that a lisp?”
With a grunt, he went back in his cave

Hi, I am still stuck in Canada. Enjoying this thread, though.

So, off to Canada I went
With a beaver guide and a tent
But beaver caught me
Tied me up to a tree
And now he's wearing my scent...

Chanel Pour Monsieur

Way back in the year '84
I first wore the old Monsieur of lore
The greatest cologne
That I've ever known
'They don't make 'em like that any more!'

I checked for you and they are not available :) The text was from when they were still around, needs to be changed.

DavidSG, if you use Facebook you can join the Sultan Pasha group to ask any questions you have.

The Jardin de Borneo series is down to only the gardenia version, the other variations aren't on...

https://musee-parfum-paris.fragonard.com/en/tours-and-activities/

The Osmotheque is great but they only host events a few times each month. It isn't somewhere you can just turn up, unfortunately....

Léonard pour homme

I have a pre-barcode bottle of Z-14 Eau de Toilette Pour Homme and it is excellent. Details from the box: 56 ml, 82% vol., Parfums Halston, London, Made in England. I purchased it from a perfume shop...

From ‘Perfumery Principles and Practice’ by Robert R. Calkin, J. Stephan Jellinek, 1996

“During the past 20 years there has been a gradual move away from this style of perfumery toward a new...

You should be able to get five wearings, from my experience.

Hi, I'm wearing it now. First thing I would say is try putting on a tiny amount, like a pin head. Putting too much on can alter the profile. I wouldn't swipe this one. Pin head and then gently spread...

It was really fun reading all of your insights, Jack Hunter. Thanks for taking the time to share.
Plenty of fun ones ahead, like the very green Le Rayon Vert to the sweet and sour oud of Oud Douce...

It turns out that it is the definitely the same composition and the aged patchouli and beeswax were always in it. Hope that helps.

Sorry mraza203, I misunderstood what you wrote. There isn't much info around about Nuit Persane but I'm sure you won't be taking much of a risk with your blind buy. Here is a tiny impression from the...

All these attars change very slightly in composition over the years. The aim is to make the new batch the same or better than before. But ingredients run out and some cannot be replaced adequately,...

Hello mraza203, if you want good projection I strongly suggest you buy a sample pack. That way you will not be disappointed.
These are mainly naturals and might not fit your projection needs :)...

When family members (kids, wife, dad) have gone from not interested to actively interested in fragrance, just from being around you and your extreme perfume habits.

Really enjoy reading your impressions, Jack Hunter :)

After pondering what to wear
I whipped out the old Vent Vert
Bitter, yet juicy
Loved by Debussy
Made me feel like a green teddy bear

Stercus, a fine scent about holes
No, not the ones made by moles
Perfumery wit
Pertaining to shit?
Or some crap about ass and the soul?

The decant group isn't very active so if you don't get a reply you could try contacting David here on Basenotes: http://www.basenotes.net/members/1130-david

Hi Benz3ne, welcome on the vintage perfume journey :) There is a lot to say on the subject but my tip would be to purchase some decants to get an idea of the smells that appeal to you. A well-known...

I would force all my workers to wear
Fine perfumes on their clothes and their hair
But as I have none
There is no such fun
And into the mirror I stare

I was wearing my FlowerBomb
And skipping along with a thong
Right past dear Ellie
In bright green wellies*
Her mother's disgust was quite strong



*Rubber boots

Ah, so you've met good ol' Iris as well!
But it's her brother Orris who smells
His hands in the dirt
No need for a shirt
With his roots going deep like a well.

That fabulous dame they call Iris
Has infected my life like a virus
Her creamy pale skin
And great depth within
Has got me tuned in like a wireless...

There was a great dame called Mitsy
Who sometimes became rather ditzy
On drinking Champagne
Whoosh! Straight to the brain
But she still remained charming and glitzy

The perfume of 2019
Will make you seem incredibly lean
A new molecule
To make you feel tall
When scent free you look quite porcine

I've completed my master perfume
I call it 'Office for Goons'
Ladies will squeal
You'll make that deal
I hope you like aquatic prunes

Oh, to be Jeremy F!
I would kiss myself to death
Impeccable taste
A thirty inch waist
And girls on the right and the left


Not

As Santa emerged from the chute
I woke up from the strength of his Brut
And on the great day
We still smelled Fabergé
It had even melted the fruit!

When seeking an evening of sinning
Just spray on some Filthy White Linen
At first you'll seem clean
And then quite obscene
But all who you meet will be willing

:laugh:




I prefer to sniff scents in the buff
The abrasion of clothes is so rough
When wearing My Sin
Let it breath on skin
But the postman has had quite enough

I'm smelling mine from a strip
With a minuscule drop on the tip
Abs. from Turkey
Somewhat Pricey
If I could, I would only wear it

I have researched the nosings I made
To see what the experts...

I'm in love with Rose Damascena
How she's turned me into a dreamer
Her honeyed skin
And deep spice within
My beautiful pink ballerina

Aigues Vives is a very nice Eau Sauvage type fragrance (vintage version). I just noticed they have discontinued a few scents and this is one of them. A shame.

You can still get it in the U.S....

'How does it perform?' did you say?
Perfume's not an actor in a play
'How long does it last?'
Is what you might ask
Unless it tap dances on Broadway

'Who the hell scented my gloves?!'
I yelled from the landing above
'They smell of warm booty
And the ol' tutti frutti
Don't wear my gloves when you make love!'

Inspired by kbe :D

'A limerick a day' said the doc
'And a splash of this Eau de Coq
Will keep you tip top
Just like my old Pop
He's 90 and hard as a rock'

Oz Man was a massive let-down
A charlatan without a crown
It needed more heart
And an emerald start
With great courage in the drydown

Therese19 strolled through Philly
On a fall day, rather chilly
But cold she was not
Wearing Bill Blass Hot
Not stopping to dally or dilly

An ode to something quite clean
The ballad of Patou Caline
A complex white soap
Sent by God on a rope
To give you that spick and span sheen

I want to smell like an 'old man'
And walk around waving a fan
Old frags are the best
On my god-like chest
You youngsters smell like Peter Pan

Ambergris that is more brown than white
Could well give your nostrils a fright
Emitting the pong
Of an overnight thong
Don't be tempted to give it a bite

So, off to Canada I went
With a beaver guide and a tent
But beaver caught me
Tied me up to a tree
And now he's wearing my scent...

If you look back then you will see
kbe's wordplay subtlety
Believe it or not
His 'Eau de Coq'
Is just one of his clever 'filthies'

What perfume would Superman wear?
Something highly resistant to air
Ten sprays on the cape
One splash on the nape
With a sillage beyond compare

"You'll get 50% of my 'shit'
As you're tired of my olfactory wit
Farewell (with a LOL)
Take this indole"
Now it's a permanent split

She went by the name of Cook.bot
Did she like perfume? A lot!
From Hermès' Eau
To Diorissimo
She even perfumed her yacht!

The fragrant sack of a beaver
Is the reason I have to leave ya
That smell is my life
Farewell, dear wife
Look after the golden retriever

Civet paste does smell like a diaper
But in a blend there is no ass wiper
Vintage Moustache
Does not smell of ass
But there is something lovely and ripe there...

What stinks to one person or other
Depends on the land of your mother
If you're from France
Odd smells can enhance
Where for Yanks they might make you shudder

Your 'Blind sample pass' for the win
Oh why didn't I join in
You generous chap
I tip you my hat
The trouble is finding bare skin

Naed Nitram where have you been?
"Up to London to perfume the Queen
With de Charlus
On an open top bus
With a bottle of MPG Racine!"

Kouros users back then weren't refined
And they only had one thing in mind
Wear something so loud
And create a scent cloud
Hoping for some bump and some grind

Kouros was very big in my youth
Back then I found it most uncouth
But now I can see
It's true quality
Bold fougere meets urinal booth

I could put thirty grand to good use
Buying large amounts of chocolate mousse
And it perfumes the room
From sundown to noon
That is how I spent my lost youth

Niche means only for twelve people
Who want to smell like a peep-hole
Not ten thousand and one
Including your mum
Who prefer to smell like treacle

Now I'm in for some trouble
I'll duck out the way on the double
Not all niche is dull
Don't crack my skull
Or rub my face in a puddle

God, I really hate the term 'niche'
Pretending to be for the 'artiste'
They're not bold at all
Don't give me that bull
The blandness makes me quite 'triste'

At Sephora one needs to move fast
To avoid a SA on your arse
"Can I help you, Mister?
Something for your sister?"
And it's hell when your leg's in a cast

Fullchoke is what they require
Plus a date with a rather sharp spire
A SA's advice
Is as welcome as lice
I agree, they're nothing but liars!



Truth be told, I do like talking to them, they...

Limerick Man is the rarest of scents
Only fit for the bestest of gents
The waft of green breeze
Over hawthorn trees
It will set you back quite a few pence

Alas, my collection's not complete
Many more do I crave and I seek
Old Guerlains and Chanels
Carons, Piguets as well
I must go now, I'm feeling quite weak

Being a vintage collector's a drag
Buying multiple bottles of frags
I've stopped buying stuff
I have quite enough
That 'one more' can drive you quite mad