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  1. #1

    Default Can I Just Vent, Please?!

    What is up with passive-aggressive private messages on price?!

    In the last three days, I've received three different messages saying: "I'd be interested in x, y, z perfume if it wasn't priced so high."

    Uhhhm, ok?! And your point is???

    You want to send me a PA message telling me you think my price is too high on something I bought full price, not at a discounter's, and hey guess what, news flash: I'M NOT A DISCOUNTER PERFUME BUSINESS!!! Do these people think that these sh*tty messages are going to magically make me offer them a discount, and beg them to buy my perfume?

    The way MY brain works is: if you don't like the price, or can't afford it, then keep on scrollin! Go to a discounter site! How about you leave me alone, you cheap jerk!

    My equally PA response has been "I'm sorry you can't afford it. You can always save up!"

    Aaargh!

    What happened to people being polite? Is it the moon? Is the moon out of whack? What perfume do you wear when the crazies come at you?
    Making room for a baby, selling perfume here!

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Can I Just Vent, Please?!

    Quote Originally Posted by SmokeAndSky View Post

    What happened to people being polite?
    That's the problem for sure. Over the years I've been here, I've dealt with it several times. In the particular issue you cite, I'd just ignore them.
    Remember that while it is perfectly acceptable to criticize the content of a post - criticizing the poster is not.
    Mean spirited, nasty, snide, sarcastic, hateful, and rude individuals on Basenotes don't warrant or deserve my or other Basenoters' acknowledgement or respect.

  3. #3

    Default Re: Can I Just Vent, Please?!

    Quote Originally Posted by SmokeAndSky View Post
    What is up with passive-aggressive private messages on price?!

    In the last three days, I've received three different messages saying: "I'd be interested in x, y, z perfume if it wasn't priced so high."

    Uhhhm, ok?! And your point is???

    You want to send me a PA message telling me you think my price is too high on something I bought full price, not at a discounter's, and hey guess what, news flash: I'M NOT A DISCOUNTER PERFUME BUSINESS!!! Do these people think that these sh*tty messages are going to magically make me offer them a discount, and beg them to buy my perfume?

    The way MY brain works is: if you don't like the price, or can't afford it, then keep on scrollin! Go to a discounter site! How about you leave me alone, you cheap jerk!

    My equally PA response has been "I'm sorry you can't afford it. You can always save up!"

    Aaargh!

    What happened to people being polite? Is it the moon? Is the moon out of whack? What perfume do you wear when the crazies come at you?
    I can certainly understand this. If the price is out of what one's willing to spend or able to afford then that's it. You could also choose to ignore the PM sent by the individual, you're not obligated to respond to their PMs. There's always the option to add them to the ignore list if they send repeated PMs.
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  4. #4

    Default Re: Can I Just Vent, Please?!

    Quote Originally Posted by N.CAL Fragrance Reviewer View Post
    I can certainly understand this. If the price is out of what one's willing to spend or able to afford then that's it. You could also choose to ignore the PM sent by the individual, you're not obligated to respond to their PMs. There's always the option to add them to the ignore list if they send repeated PMs.
    That is good advice. I didn't reply to one and blocked her, it seemed like anyone who would send such a message would be a problem buyer. That was on Mercari.
    The other two I lost all patience with and got passive aggressive back, sending the "sorry you can't afford it, save up!" message.

    But after THREE messages in as many days or less, I just had to take to a place where I could vent.
    Making room for a baby, selling perfume here!

  5. #5

    Default Re: Can I Just Vent, Please?!

    Quote Originally Posted by hednic View Post
    That's the problem for sure. Over the years I've been here, I've dealt with it several times. In the particular issue you cite, I'd just ignore them.
    Thank you. Always good advice.
    Making room for a baby, selling perfume here!

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Can I Just Vent, Please?!

    Quote Originally Posted by SmokeAndSky View Post
    The way MY brain works is: if you don't like the price, or can't afford it, then keep on scrollin!
    That's generally my approach as well.

  7. #7

    Default Re: Can I Just Vent, Please?!

    I’ve been offloading on evilBay cos I’m in the U.K.
    I had an offer sent on an item I’m selling for £12. The offer was £8! I counter offered a tenner. No no no that’s too expensive!
    FFS vintage, unopened, 60ml x 2, classic men’s fragrance!!!

    I feel your pain

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Can I Just Vent, Please?!

    Quote Originally Posted by SmokeAndSky View Post
    The other two I lost all patience with and got passive aggressive back, sending the "sorry you can't afford it, save up!" message.
    No response might work better to avoid hostile exchanges. Or you could find out what their price is so you have a future option.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Can I Just Vent, Please?!

    Personally, I do not begrudge lowballing. Prices are subjective. You have to acknowledge the fact most of us are collectors here, and more often than not, most collectors buy things primarily because the deal is too good. Going over the sales thread, most of the prices *ARE* higher than what they would sell for; but I wouldn't message someone asking for a lower price. Let them figure it out themselves whether they really want to move it instead of extending your pricing philosophy help that is obviously different and uninvited.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Can I Just Vent, Please?!

    I don’t have any problem sending a message saying that I’m interested in a perfume, and ask if they’d be willing to take a lower price for it. Almost always trying not to go too low, knowing that it’s probably just wasting time for both of us. I also don’t have a problem when many here send me the same messages. I do get how you say the PA wording could be annoying, but in that case I wouldn’t even respond, because technically they didn’t even ask you a question, lol
    I also don’t inquire about prices if in the thread itself, the seller states that prices are firm and not negotiable. I will respect their thoughts and process.

  11. #11

    Default Re: Can I Just Vent, Please?!

    Looking at the thread title I thought this was going to be about Vent Vert
    But yeah, I have dealt with a couple of exchanges on Ebay that decided to take things down the route of hostility. Personally I try to keep the price I am selling a perfume for reasonable (under retail price / not in the multiple of hundreds for a vintage), but two of those hostile exchanges I received have been after politely declining a ~60% drop in price. In those instances I think they were scalpers that wanted to pay as little as possible so they could go on to resell at a substantial markup or go the decant route for even higher profits.

    There was also another instance of someone laying into me over not selling to them (despite them being located far outside the UK and my description stating that I can only post to UK based addresses since with services like Royal Mail you cannot ship packages marked as containing perfume), I wanted to message them back clarifying this and if they really were that interested that they would have read the description in full, and that me just responding to a question of theirs doesn't equate to "oh yes I will hold this perfume just for you!", but I just left it.
    Currently wearing: Muguet 2021 by Guerlain

  12. #12

    Default Re: Can I Just Vent, Please?!

    Just a little friendly advice, because if you continue on like this you'll only get more and more frustrated. This is how selling non-precious goods online works. People haggle -- everyone always haggles. The few exceptions to the rule prove the rule. I guarantee from years of doing this that if you respond to those messages you're only going to set your self up for negative experiences. Set your price higher so you can haggle down to the price you actually want, or set it at such a good deal that people instantly purchase, so they don't miss out. That is the only way to avoid these types of messages.

  13. #13
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    Default Re: Can I Just Vent, Please?!

    Good advice from GoldWineMemories and Mudassir.
    Do not go out and look for a successful personality and duplicate it.

  14. #14

    Default Re: Can I Just Vent, Please?!

    Oh yeah and a tip for anyone reading the thread that sells perfume, vet potential buyers. I have heard the odd story or two about someone receiving complaints about a perfume having less liquid than advertised and having to refund the buyer, and it turned out the buyer just decanted some and wanted to keep their money as well as a stipend of the perfume. Check their feedback like you would a seller, it might help you avoid having to lose out on a perfume and save your wallet any hurt.

    One thing I do as a standard procedure is take additional photos of the perfume mid-packing to show that the levels are the same as the listing, as well as the package after you have filled out the relevant details, and send them to the buyer after posting their package. This serves a dual function of assuring a good natured buyer, since they might be expecting multiple deliveries that day, the gesture of being thoughtful goes a long way. And it also acts as evidence if a predatory person tries to open a case with Ebay and you can argue that they got exactly what was advertised on the listing, it would be a stretch for them to argue that you took a decant after taking the additional pictures.
    Currently wearing: Muguet 2021 by Guerlain

  15. #15

    Default Re: Can I Just Vent, Please?!

    Quote Originally Posted by HauteParfumGourmand View Post
    Oh yeah and a tip for anyone reading the thread that sells perfume, vet potential buyers. I have heard the odd story or two about someone receiving complaints about a perfume having less liquid than advertised and having to refund the buyer, and it turned out the buyer just decanted some and wanted to keep their money as well as a stipend of the perfume. Check their feedback like you would a seller, it might help you avoid having to lose out on a perfume and save your wallet any hurt.

    One thing I do as a standard procedure is take additional photos of the perfume mid-packing to show that the levels are the same as the listing, as well as the package after you have filled out the relevant details, and send them to the buyer after posting their package. This serves a dual function of assuring a good natured buyer, since they might be expecting multiple deliveries that day, the gesture of being thoughtful goes a long way. And it also acts as evidence if a predatory person tries to open a case with Ebay and you can argue that they got exactly what was advertised on the listing, it would be a stretch for them to argue that you took a decant after taking the additional pictures.
    Yep, I’ve had an eBay buyer complain about receiving the bottle pictured in the listing. He didn’t take out a case just left snarky neg feedback. I now list that they will receive the bottle in the photo. I’m still amazed at how many people don’t pay attention to the listing details or the blinking photos.

  16. #16

    Default Re: Can I Just Vent, Please?!

    Quote Originally Posted by Bavard View Post
    No response might work better to avoid hostile exchanges. Or you could find out what their price is so you have a future option.
    Seconded, fully agreeing especially in this case

  17. #17

    Default Re: Can I Just Vent, Please?!

    Quote Originally Posted by Alityke View Post
    I’ve been offloading on evilBay cos I’m in the U.K.
    I had an offer sent on an item I’m selling for £12. The offer was £8! I counter offered a tenner. No no no that’s too expensive!
    FFS vintage, unopened, 60ml x 2, classic men’s fragrance!!!

    I feel your pain
    I was going to mention eBay. I do not sell but read a few forums that do have a section on it. The number of sellers saying what you said. No, £8 to expensive will pay £3! The why do buyers make stupid offers?

    When I put an offer in I usually just take the price of shipping off and 9 times of 10 it is accepted but if a counter offer I take it. For me even say £2 off is acceptable of is a deal.
    DONNA
    Currently wearing: Mixed Emotions by Byredo

  18. #18

    Default Re: Can I Just Vent, Please?!

    At least half of the messages I receive about my sell thread involve some haggling. During my time here, this always ended up in a deal, every time. I have never been even close to being offended by this practice. I also often ask for a small discount myself. Lowballing is obviously disgraceful, one has to have common sense about what to offer. Also, no one can know what you paid for a fragrance and its value in market has nothing to do with this.

    Don't get me wrong, I am not at all saying your frustration is not warranted, because I haven't seen the messages. I also suspect it could be a cultural difference, since I mostly deal with Europeans.

  19. #19

    Default Re: Can I Just Vent, Please?!

    Quote Originally Posted by Johnny_Ludlow View Post
    At least half of the messages I receive about my sell thread involve some haggling. During my time here, this always ended up in a deal, every time. I have never been even close to being offended by this practice. I also often ask for a small discount myself. Lowballing is obviously disgraceful, one has to have common sense about what to offer. Also, no one can know what you paid for a fragrance and its value in market has nothing to do with this.

    Don't get me wrong, I am not at all saying your frustration is not warranted, because I haven't seen the messages. I also suspect it could be a cultural difference, since I mostly deal with Europeans.
    I agree with this (and similar responses above). I guess the problem with the message that OP got was that 1) It didn't ask a question or make an offer, it was a passive-aggressive statement; 2) It implied that the fragrance was overpriced which is just disrespectful.

    I've made offers to sellers that were for a price lower than advertised and my MO is: 1) The discount I ask for depends on the RRP value, the advertised price and the condition of the item but I wouldn't ask for more than 30% off; 2) I generally mention that I mean no disrespect and it's strictly a question of affordability for me; 3) I take whatever reply I get graciously. Whilst this doesn't always end in a sale, I've never had a rude or unhappy response.

  20. #20
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    Default Re: Can I Just Vent, Please?!

    I've sold hundreds of bottles here and on ebay, I don't get offended when people make me an offer as long as it is reasonable. Also I price my bottles at or below market price, to move them quickly.
    If you are trying to sell a perfume at a substantial markup vs market value, regardless of how much you paid for it, people are going to let you know.
    Currently wearing: Pi by Givenchy

  21. #21

    Default Re: Can I Just Vent, Please?!

    Apart from the hassle of dealing with these cheapskate buyers, what about Ebay itself?

    I noticed that another lawsuit has been filed under the RICO Act this month against them -- revolving around fake tracking numbers used to provide proof of delivery. Basically, if it's the same ZIP Code, that's good enough for them.

  22. #22

    Default Re: Can I Just Vent, Please?!

    Quote Originally Posted by donna255 View Post
    I was going to mention eBay. I do not sell but read a few forums that do have a section on it. The number of sellers saying what you said. No, £8 to expensive will pay £3! The why do buyers make stupid offers?

    When I put an offer in I usually just take the price of shipping off and 9 times of 10 it is accepted but if a counter offer I take it. For me even say £2 off is acceptable of is a deal.
    I’m not inflexible & frequently accept reasonable offers. It’s the emails asking me to accept less than I’ve set minimum offers at!

    I also try my luck but if my offer isn’t accepted so be it

  23. #23

    Default Re: Can I Just Vent, Please?!

    Quote Originally Posted by Kaern View Post
    Apart from the hassle of dealing with these cheapskate buyers, what about Ebay itself?

    I noticed that another lawsuit has been filed under the RICO Act this month against them -- revolving around fake tracking numbers used to provide proof of delivery. Basically, if it's the same ZIP Code, that's good enough for them.
    Please can you explain RICO? Does this apply in the U.K?

  24. #24
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    Default Re: Can I Just Vent, Please?!

    The block option is quite useful, everyone wants a deal and something for nothing my attitude is there are plenty of fakes for them to buy on eBay for those deals and cheap prices. I wouldn’t let it bother you just part of the resale business and human nature to scour for the best deal even if it’s not always possible.
    Currently wearing: Polo by Ralph Lauren

  25. #25

    Default Re: Can I Just Vent, Please?!

    Quote Originally Posted by Alityke View Post
    Please can you explain RICO? Does this apply in the U.K?
    Racketeer Influenced and Corrupt Organizations Act.

    USA only.




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